"It is usually the one willing to do anything and everything for another, that ends up getting hurt."

--

Jiyong found himself at the company again the next night.  He had visited the salon by himself in the afternoon, having given his manager a well deserve break from the constant traveling. At the last minute while the hair stylist was mixing the peroxide to bleach it blonde again, he changed his mind. It was on a mere whim really. Since he was on an official break and his hair had been through hell and back for the constant colorings back and forth for the tour and photo shoots. He told the stylist to strip all the colors and chemicals and restore his natural pigments back to black. Back to the basics, he laughed with the stylist at her own surprise for his choice.

 He felt his back pocket of his jean shorts vibrate. He glanced briefly at the ID before answering.

“Un, babe. What’s up?” Jiyong took a detour from his route to the elevator and grabbed a seat on the black chairs on the ground floor where guests usually waited for their appointments.

“Oppa~ how’re you? I tried looking for you last night before I left the company but all I found was Teddy-oppa sleeping.” Chaerin’s voice was light and happy as usual.

Jiyong waved to a few of Hi Tech’s dancers as they passed by with gym bags slung over their shoulders, they were the back dancers of YGE’s groups and grown into treasured friends. They didn’t disturb him though as they noticed a phone to his ear and waved again before walking off, giving him his privacy.

“Ah, ya sorry Hunchae, got caught up in some things.” Jiyong replied vaguely. He picked at the loose string on his designer acid washed ripped jeans shorts idly as he listened to the background noises. “Where are you?”

“Ah I’m in Busan right now oppa, finishing up with a photo-shoot with the girls.” She replied, “what did you get caught up in last night?”

He knew she was just asking for the sake of asking but Jiyong felt a tiny pang of annoyance. “Nothing babe, just running around the company. I didn’t get in until four in the morning last night. So when do you get back? We haven’t properly hung out since I got back yet.” He switched the subject after giving her enough to satisfy an answer.

   “Aww oppa! Hmm I should be back tomorrow morning and have the evening off. Want to do something then?”

Jiyong got up and started to walk to the elevator.

“Hmm sure,” he walked on to the life, “what do you have in mind? I can pick up some take out-“

The door reopened just before it was about to shut close and Lily looked surprised as she stood at the opening. She didn’t seem to know to step on or not. He motioned with his head for her to come in which she did with a bow.

“Oppa, oppa?”

“Huh?” he looked away and focused on the phone call.

“You were saying something oppa.” Said Chaerin with a laugh.

“Oh right.” Jiyong watched from the corner of his eye as Lily leaned over and pressed level 5, he figured she would be going to the weight and excise room that Hwangssabu looks after. He noticed today she wore a pair of baggy grey sweat pants, a white tank top and a black hooded sweater.

“Oppa!” Chaerin said again, though her voice was light, he could tell she was annoyed.

“Oh right, sorry. Yah let’s just meet tomorrow evening and figure out what to do then okay? Contact me once you get back. Un, okay, have a great day.” He listened for the click as she hung up the call after agreeing. He pocketed his phone and turned to Lily. She was staring at him expectantly.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” she greeted and then stared at him.

He looked at her, waiting for her to say something more with the way she was gazing at him so intently.

“Uh…” her eyes suddenly darted at the door. The steel panels had opened and her foot was blocking the sensors. Jiyong followed her gaze.

“Oh!” The elevator had reached the 4^th floor and she was waiting for him to exit. “Right.” He didn’t even notice. Jiyong felt warm creep up his neck from embarrassment as he walked out without turning back.

Lily smiled as she watched Jiyong’s back retreat down the corridor before the doors slid closed.  He was so different from what she’s seen on stage and his television appearances. He was much more down to earth and very cool about things. Not polished and proper like his G-Dragon image.

She reached the 5^th level and looked around. Still unfamiliar with where each room was. But the posters of Trainer Hwangssabu on the wall, each one with motivational sayings, became more and more apparent as she looked down the left side. She turned left and headed down that way.

Finding the large excise room was easy enough. It was very high tech actually, with treadmills each equip with monitors. The weight machines and free dumbbells were all lined neatly. All the other various machines were top of the line and there stood Hwangssabu, the master behind each of YG’s toned and muscular bodies.

“Annyeonghaseyo.” She bowed and greeted as he turned to her.

“Ah! Lee Lily-ssi right?” his voiced boomed loudly.

“Yes, nice to meet you.” She bowed again, dropping her gym bag to her feet.

“Call me Hwangssabu-oppa, we’re all family here!” He was a genuinely friendly and caring man she could tell and a smile tugged at her lips. He looked down at her, his massive arms propped up at his sides. “You must be very special, usually trainees don’t train with me personally. I only look after the debuted or soon to be debuted but you’re a trainee still right? You’ve been here a week now?”

Lily nodded as she stepped onto the scale he had put in front of her. “This is my fourth day as a trainee.”

He took down the states on a clipboard and told her to remove her hoody. He took her fat over body mass ratio and started to measure her with a measuring tape.

“You must be burdened.” He said with a sympathetic sigh. He looked at her briefly with a kind fatherly smile.

Lily thought about it for a second. “I am…”

He nodded with a grunt. “I’ve worked with all your seniors, mostly Big Bang and 2NE1 but they were very pressured. But your Jiyong-sunbae had the worst of it because he was labeled as a genius at such a young age. He was so burdened that while he worked on his body here, he would cry for the full hour. It was hard to watch but once he stepped off, he smiled so brightly. It’s a gift and a curse isn’t it?”

She didn’t realize it until now but deep down, she was pressured. She had wanted to enter YG as a regular trainee and accepted PSY’s invitation for the screening process. New York was her love and life but she did want to be famous for her work. Every artist has that greed to perform and be recognized for their own masterpieces. But then things got out of hand after that. Her reputation had followed her here to Korea and all of a sudden she was receiving special treatment from YG himself. But along with that special treatment, he had told her he expects more out of her, he expects her expertise even when she had told him that she wanted to just be a regular trainee. He wouldn’t have any of that and dismissed her curtly.

“Does it ever get better Hwangssabu-oppa?” she hadn’t called any older male oppa before. She never used those terminologies back home.  

The older trainer smiled as he patted her on the back, “Jiyong still is affected by it but the past is behind him now for the most part. Anyway, you’re weight is ideal for your height but you’ll still need to lose a bit more fat in certain areas. You should eat normally and we’ll start building lean muscle and put you on a yoga routine to enhance your flexibility.”

“Okay.” She nodded. She had expected it really, KPOP idols were stick thin and despite her being petite in frame, she knew she had to work hard to tone everything since her body was still soft and squishy.

“So what’s the hype all about Lily-ssi?” he asked with his back to her. He was also curious what made her stood out. He was shifting through a large bin, packed wit skip ropes and enhancement bands of all sorts.

She contemplated for a second though her guards were down a lot more than any other time she’s been here in Korea, she was still careful with her words. The trainer had that effect on people she figured.

Her arms went up and she gathered her long black hair into a messy bun, securing it with a black band on her wrist. “I uh…I’m not really famous since no one knows my face. But back in the States, I produced music for a lot of hip hop artists but my alias name was only represented on the credits. PSY-sunbaenim had met me by coincidence at one of the VIP parties he attended during his U.S. promotions. He spoke a lot to me because I spoke Korean as well.”

“Ah Gangnam Style was really big then wasn’t it? Seriously it was daebak! I see I see, so you never really performed or anything yet. But you must have worked hard to get that type of recognition. Anyway let’s start hmm?’

She nodded and followed behind him to a blue workout mat on the ground. She didn’t indulge that she really didn’t work hard; not at all actually, making music and composing songs had come naturally to her. Too naturally at times. More so than sitting down and talking to people about mundane things.

 They started to get down to the actual work out after that, an hour on the treadmill and half an hour of weight training. He gave her a package he put together with her nutritional plan and her schedule with him. He was strict with telling her she couldn’t be late for any of her appointments with him. He was after all, a very busy man.

“Thank you so much Hwangssabu-oopa!” Lily bowed with a bright smile. The work out had done her good as a stress reliever, her mind was at ease and she felt a lot more relaxed.

“Ah! Good-bye Lily! I’ll see you next week!” his loud voice boomed, resounding in the empty weight room. He waved cheerfully and Lily couldn’t help but smile broadly in return, bowing again.

It was 7 in the evening by the time she rode the elevator down to the main floor. She was starving. The lift stopped at the 3^rd floor. She quickly bowed as her heart raced, it was Kwon Jiyong who stepped on. He work casual jean shorts, designed with sever rips, exposing his muscular calves and patches of skin of his thighs. He wore a simple white v-neck and his arms, fingers and ears were loaded with silver and gold jewelry. How could a man be so pretty, she wondered.

“If I didn’t know better, I would think you’re stalking me, Lily-ssi.” He joked. His voice was smooth, it always was. He eluded confidence and an undeniable charisma.

“ah no, I just finished with my training.” She quickly explained with a bow. Her cheeks flushing.

“mmhm. Raaaatatata~” He made strange noises while looking down at his phone, his thumb scrolling and scrolling.  She remained silent then until he asked her where she was going now.

“To grab some food in the cafeteria.” She replied, staring at an interesting piece of dust on the ground.

“Since you’re hungry too. Want to grab some Chinese with me? I can’t find anyone to go with right now.”

The invitation shocked her beyond words. The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival to the ground floor. The doors parting for its occupants.

“Sure.” She nodded, not meeting his eyes. Butterflies were forming in her stomach.

“Let’s go to the parking level then.” He let the doors close back and pressed to the underground parking. Lily had noticed though she kept it to herself, why it seemed like he wasn’t on his way out since he didn’t press the floor before. Maybe he was still looking around for someone. She worried about entertaining him over the meal, she knew she was awkward and not the best to have as company.

Jiyong walked ahead of the ever quiet trainee. He didn’t know either why he had invited her out to eat with him. He didn’t know why he decided to leave Teddy’s studio abruptly after an hour an a half, unconsciously knowing that was the standard time of training with Ssabu-hyung. He didn’t know why he lied, he wasn’t even planning to grab food until later. He didn’t know why he hadn’t asked any of his friends, who he knew was more than wiling to go out with him if he messaged.

 He knew and could admit to himself, and himself only, that he looked forward to running into her. Yes, she was pretty, beautiful in a doll-like way, she seemed so delicate. But he’s known and partied with super models, gorgeous women that would throw their bodies at him and he was still unaffected. His eyes were only on Lee Chaerin and it’s been like that for years now.  But he couldn’t help the curiosity; he felt this pull towards this new trainee.

He drove them to a Chinese restaurant in the upper west side of the city. There was an exclusive 5-star restaurant that served some of the best Chinese food in Seoul but what he really liked about it was that the patrons there didn’t whip out their camera smart phones and snap pictures. He could eat in peace. It didn’t stop him from requesting a private room anyway. Caution was key to keeping his private life protected at all times.

The ride in the car was once again quiet though she relaxed a bit after accepting an offered cigarette. There wasn’t much conversation and Jiyong was at a loss for words on what to do. Why did he invite this girl again? Usually trainees or younger hoobaes would be yapping his ears off about this topic or that, all the while trying to catch his interest but this girl seemed content to just sit. They listened to his satellite radio, tuned into a station broadcasting in LA and he watched as her eyes became distant during particular Western songs.

“What do you like to eat?” he asked across the medium sized table. Their menus laying in front of them.

“Hmm..” her black painted nail tapped her lips as she concentrated. “I really like duck and dumplings.”

Jiyong nodded and motioned for a waiter who scurried over promptly. “Can we get the picking duck special and assorted steamed dumplings, also an order of sweet and sour pork.”  He grabbed Lily’s menu and his own before handing them back to the man.

“Very good sir, please wait a few moments while your meal is prepared.” The male waiter took a long look at Jiyong’s face but quickly pivoted on his heels and walked away as Jiyong gave him a side glance. He looked across from him and smiled as a giggle escaped her lips at the little scene.

“He was so startled.” She observed, fascinated as she glanced towards where the waiter disappeared off to. The private dining room was cozy, sections off with high wall dividers and furnished with deep cherry oak. The red carpet under her sneakers felt plush and bouncy.

 He leaned back in the high back chair and nodded his head in thanks as she poured him tea in the small ceramic cup before she poured her own.

“There was a time when I had went to a restaurant and the female waitress ignored the whole restaurant and stood by my table.” He shared and chuckled as she laughed in disbelief.

“Really? What happened then?” she leaned forward.

Jiyong stared into her light brown eyes and smirked when she looked away quickly. “Nothing really, she got scolded by the manager but it was really uncomfortable eating with someone looking right over my shoulder.”

“I could imagine! Sunbaenim is really popular so it’s understandable why she did it.” She complimented.

Jiyong crossed his leg over the other and twirled a chopstick between his fingers, his arm propped on the table. “Would you like to call me oppa instead of sunbae?”

She looked up to his expectant gaze and felt heat rise to her face.  “How could I…it wouldn’t be right for me to call you oppa since I’m still new and a trainee.”

Jiyong nodded in understanding but shrugged, “It’s my style, I like to be more casual with the hoobaes in the company. We’re more familiar with each other now right? I even let you ride in my car. Call me Jiyong-oppa from now on hm?”

Those light chocolate eyes looked up at his face tentatively, her pale smooth skin framed in a waterfall of black hair, Lee Lily smiled and Jiyong felt it hit him then.

“Yes, Jiyong…oppa.” Her small husky voice replied.

He felt his breathe hitch in his throat ever so slightly, the small skip in his heart beat, his eyes fixated at the vision before him. He felt it once more as he heard her call him oppa. He felt the pull, the curiosity mixed with a sudden forbidden attraction.

His phone rang, the white iPhone vibrating on the white table cloth. He glanced at the ID.

“Please, go ahead.” She reassured as she glanced down at the table.

“Excuse me for a second.” He picked up his phone and hated that there was no where to go outside of the private area they were in. Turning his body slightly, he put the receiver to his ear. “Uh Hunchae.”

“Oppa, the photo shoot was a success!” she cheered.

She had always called him after her schedules. She was one of the few people that were allowed to call him, besides s and YG personnel and close hyungs. His other friends and colleagues in the industry would strictly stick to SMS.

“Ah that’s great. Me? Just eating at Red Dragon’s right now.”  He glanced at Lily from the corner of his eye and saw that she was looking out and away from him, trying to give him as much privacy as possible.

“Oh really? Who with? Seungri better not order so much this time and make you pay.” Chaerin laughed lightly. He could practically hear her smile through the phone.

“No little Seunghyun isn’t with me this time. Don’t worry, I learned not to take his to a Chinese restaurant anymore.”

“What’re you up to?” he asked when there was a lull on her end. Maybe she was waiting for him to fill her in more and Jiyong knew he was keeping things pretty vague. Not like usual how she and he would tell each other every single detail.

“Uh…just going back to the hotel now oppa. Should I…let you go? You sound a bit preoccupied.” She asked with concern.

Jiyong felt a tad guilty but he would be seeing her tomorrow evening anyway. And besides, he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

“Yah a bit, I’ll contact you later hm? Ah, okay, okay, you too. Bye.”

He opened his mouth to say something once he turned back to his dinner companion but the waiter had chosen to come at that exact moment. Whatever he was about to say was left forgotten as their food arrived. They both took their arms off the table and leaned back as the waiter arranged the steaming dishes.

“Enjoy.” The waiter bowed and walked away.

“Looks good oppa! Here, let me serve you.” Her voice was higher than usual, he noted . It was his sensitivity to tone and pitches in music that he swore he could be a human lie detector.  He handed her his white plate and watched as she took from each center platter, neatly placing them.

While they ate their meal, Jiyong asking about standard things about how her training was going and her lessons. She would reply with that same voice, her cheerful answers would always remain short and vague. There was no real emotion or feeling into her replies. Standard politeness.

“Are you upset?” he asked finally when a silence fell upon them. He felt as if the small window he was allotted into seeing the real her was closing back a tiny bit. She seemed falsely sweet right now. And it irked him.

“No sunbaenim, why would you think that?” Lily asked with wide eyes.

She had been trying her damn best to be pleasant. And it felt awkward because she was sure that was his girlfriend or someone along those lines that just called. She could vaguely hear the feminine voice through his phone, he must be hard of hearing and understandably so because of all the concerts, clubs, speakers he was exposed to but the volume could reach her ears from across the table. He must like girls with cutesy voices and lots of ageyo from what she could hear. She reminded herself that she was just a trainee and this was a dongsaeng and big brother situation.

“Didn’t I ask you to call me oppa? And you seem upset. Why?” His slightly narrowed eyes pierced hers. He knew he was coming off intimidating but he didn’t care. He wanted to know what she was feeling and thinking right now.  He had to know. It was driving him nuts.

Lily shook her head, her hand placing her set of chopsticks down as her head bowed. The food was barely digesting as it is and now she was making the famous Kwon Jiyong mad. She must really be awkward, a complete disaster if her trying her best was getting this type of reaction.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” She spoke, for the first time her Korean had a slight foreigner’s accent. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m not upset. I’m really not. But I just don’t know how to act normal and be the normal Korean girl.  I’m really trying my hardest. I’ve never had another Korean male to call oppa to so it’s hard for me to remember. This is all so uncomfortable for me.”

Jiyong was expecting something but not an answer like that. She was so cute.

“Yah! Lily!” he called out, his voice laced with amusement. His smile dropped when her shoulders drooped lower and her body stiffened.

He turned serious as he drew circles on his half eaten plate of food. “I’m sorry laughed. It’s just…you were so adorable just then.”

She looked up at him in surprise. Her eyes staring at his soft smile.

He continued, this time looking straight at her. “You were trying and that was the problem. I want you to be yourself. I want you to act and talk how you usually would. I think it’s much better than this little act of the ‘Korean’ girl you think you should be. If you’re uncomfortable, then we can leave. If you don’t want to, than you don’t have to call me oppa-“

“No!” she burst out, surprising him. She leaned back slightly abashed as she shook her head. She calmed her voice, that smooth husky sound again. “I would like to call you oppa still...if that’s okay?”

Jiyong nodded, his own brown eyes soft as she placed more items on his plate.

“This duck is delicious oppa! Wah, here, try some of the dumplings too!” she exclaimed, taking tentative peeks at his face to read his expression.

Jiyong picked up a piece of sweet and sour pork with his chopstick and leaned across the table. He held it up in the air in front of . “Here try the pork, its good.”

“Ah…okay.” She stammered, her cheeks flushing as she leaned forward and took the piece into . She forced herself to ignore the fact that it was directly from his chopsticks and the fact that her heart was racing a mile a minute. She saw in dramas that it was normal for Koreans to feed each other and share like that.

It didn’t mean anything…