Chapter - Unconditional

Lily didn’t see Jiyong again for over a week after their lunch at the Red Dragon. She felt disappointed for the first few days but reasoned with herself that he was famous and a very busy person. He didn’t have time to play around with a trainee anyway. What happened at lunch was once in a blue moon.

Every day she would come to the company and attend her classes there. First thing in the morning was her Japanese class which was already quite advance and then her vocal lessons at night. There was no need for her English tutor nor for her creative writing class. In the night, Lily found herself in her small studio that YG-sajangnim gave her but nothing was produced. She was coming up empty handed. She’s never experienced this in the States before. A lack of motivation and creativity. Her mood was getting her down and she tried to shake it off but to no avail.

 She was home sick. Going home to an empty apartment was becoming more dreadful. She was lonely. She had not been able to be friendly with the other trainees here. And knew no one in Korea. She was ready to throw in the towel. Her progress was at a stand still.

Pushing away from the studio monitor, she walked over to the desk and slid into the lone chair. There was a two seater leather couch against the wall and a separate door for a recording room that could fit one person and that was all that could fit in her small studio. Logging into her personal laptop, Lily signed into Skype. Scrolling down her hundreds of contacts; she saw who she was looking for. Pressing the call button, she saw the green light for the webcam on her screen turn on. The image of her was transmitted, her long black hair pulled into a side braid, her body swallowed in an oversized grey sweatshirt and her tired eyes.

The call rung for a few seconds before a groggy voice answered. The call said it was connected through a mobile.

“What?!” a voice snapped in English.

“Nicki…” she called out.

Lily was choking up just hearing the familiar voice. She hadn’t conversed in English for over 2 weeks. A vast different from her entire life living in the Western hemisphere.

“Lil!” she sounded more awake now.  The black screen flashed and an image appeared beside her video feed. The person had her phone’s camera.

“Babygirl, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry for calling so late, I forgot it was morning over there.” she stared at the screen as the woman adjusted herself on her pillow. Nicki Manji was her stage name, a famous female rapper from Young Money. And she was also a dear friend and a sister in arms to Lily.

“Shut up, it’s fine. What’s wrong?”

Lily flashed a teary smile as she gazed longingly at her friend, the urge of wanting to be in the city where she was hit her like a wave.

“I miss you, I miss home, I miss everyone. I don’t know if I can do this anymore...” She admitted finally. She had avoided talking to her friends back home because they would worry unnecessarily but right now she needed someone. A comforting ear.

“Home misses you, I miss you and every en one misses you. “ she replied, her face illuminated as she a side lamp. “But you wanted this. Don’t back down now because it’s hard. That’s not the bad that I know.”

Lily laughed as she leaned on the table, resting her head on her folded arms. “I don’t feel like a bad here. Everything seems so proper and I can’t seem to get how to act right, I stick out Niks. I stick out like a sore thumb.”

“You know music. This is nothing strange or new. You breathe and live music Lil’ Lil. Don’t get shook just because you’re in a new place. Music don’t change.”

“But it doesn’t matter if I know music Nicki, I can’t seem to get in my comfort zone. I don’t fit in here.”

“And your point is…?” she mockingly waited before smiling at the camera. “You went to Korea to stand out babygirl. Not to conform and be like all these other KPOP idols, girl I would disown your if you turned out to be a candy pop star. Act like Lee Lily, what any one thinks.”

“But all the other trainees don’t seem to like me because I’m getting special treatment.”

“Those ratchets are just jealous! They don’t know it yet but you are on another level then a trainee. And YG realized that once he contacted you remember? What you got, you deserve. Because in this game babygirl, you and me know best that no one will be happy for your success. It’s a dirty industry so take what’s yours.”

Realization hit her and she looked back at the screen as Nicki continued.

“Do YOU. You’re a monster on the mic and you better not forget that. You went there because you wanted to finally be able to perform your own and do it better than what those kiddies had to offer. You’re the game changer Lil. So don’t you ever, ever, change. You hear me?”

Lily sat up straight as she slowly nodded, her mind turning over and over what Nicki just said. She is the game changer. Why was she so concerned with fitting in? It was true, this studio was hers and she shouldn’t feel bad for it. If those other trainees that snub her and ignore her don’t like it well too damn bad. She was doing her thing and those girls would kill for her position but this was her rightful place.

“So what if-“ Lily stopped mid-sentence as she squinted at the monitor. Nicki had fallen back asleep. She smiled gratefully before cutting off the call and closing the lap top.

Her resolved renewed, she turned back to the large monitor with a blank document. Her fingers hovered above the keyboard for a second, she could feel her adrenaline pumping and the familiar rush as a song formed instantly in her mind. It was only a matter of time before she could get it out through her fingers. She fully immersed herself, forgetting the world, forgetting where she was, and even forgetting Kwon Jiyong.

She was in her element and damn if she didn’t miss it.

“What?!” she exclaimed, shock written all over her face.

“I’m putting you as the newest addition to our girl group.” Yang Hyun Suk repeated, leveling her with a stern gaze.

“I came to debut as a solo artist. That was the agreement.” She bite out, her temper flaring.

They were in the boss’s 7^th floor office. He had called her in early morning which was fine because Lily hadn’t left her studio for 2 nights now. She was pouring out songs from right, left and center. And as an artist, sleep, food and shower were the least of her worries as she rode the wave of inspiration.

“That was the intention, yes. But circumstances have changed and I want you in the girl group.”

Lily stared at him, not backing down. She refused to act like the prim and proper girl here; she was born and raised in Queens for sakes.

“And if I say no?”

The older man nodded, expecting the resistance. “Then we’ll be postponing your debut until the girl group gains a foot hold in the market.”

Her light brown eyes darkened along with her mood, “So you want to put me in a sinking ship of a group? Risking my own success?”

“If you are so arrogant to think that, then get out of my agency. You are talented, I will admit that. But that is not the mindset I will tolerate from a rookie, a world star or even my own children. You may produce music but there are plenty of people that can replace you.” His words were sharp, his tone getting angrier by each passing second.

“YG Entertainment doesn’t see any, you hear me good now, ANY artist of mine as a ‘sinking ship’. The motto here is Family and do you know what Family means? Unconditional. Therefore we lend support to every one of our members here.” He calmed down a bit suddenly, taking in a deep breath. His tone was less harsh as he leveled the seventeen year old music prodigy with a stern gaze.

“I understand you want to debut as a solo artist. I understand you are disappointed but just because you are in a group, doesn’t mean you can’t promote solo either. Just like Big Bang, 2NE1, Su Pearls, they have branched out into units, soloist while maintaining the group. Think about it carefully, I will give you to the end of this week to decide.”

Lily’s expression was stone cold as she didn’t bow to leave; instead she raised her chin just a bit higher and faced him head on. So he wanted her to play the trump card in his failing girl group? This was an ultimatum finely disguised as a ‘postponement’ and when her goals were on the line. It didn’t take her any time to ponder. Well played, Yang Hyun suk.

“Fine. I’ll do it.”

He nodded, his expression not changing.

 “You start training with the girls Monday. They are still doing promotions with radio schedules for the rest of the week. We will announce your addition by a month’s time. You can go now.”

She bowed respectfully, though her hands were still clenched into tight fists. She walked briskly to the door though she could hear his heavy sigh just before the door closed behind her.

Lily burst into the roof top, the steel door hitting the wall at the force. Her hands fumbling with her pack of cigarettes as she walked out into the cool night.  Her vision blurred as tears kept streaming down her cheeks. She was ready to quit.  She was ready to scream her lungs out. Her frustration was beyond her at this point. She swore she wouldn’t give up but was this all worth it? Her dreams felt like they were slipping through her fingers. She felt like a bloody en pawn.

She hated being here. She hated being alone here. She hated not being able to rely on one but herself here. She hated this.  She was tired of being strong. All she wanted to do right now was smoke and cry.

“Lily...?”

Her entire body stiffened. She didn’t dare raise her head.

That was not a voice she wanted to hear right now.

“What’s wrong?” Jiyong had stood up from one of the lawn chairs. His own smoke in his hand, his outfit was coordinated as always, even when it was just lounging clothes.

She turned away and tried to go for the door. This wasn’t what she needed right now. She wanted to find a hole and hide. She couldn’t face Kwon Jiyong right now. Her sneakers moved quickly towards the way she had come. Her hands clutching the metal handle of the door.

But before she could yank it open, a pair of strong arms encircled her body from behind. She froze as she felt his arms pull her tighter against his chest.

Her head bowed as more tears came forward. How long has it been for someone to comfort her physically? She forgot what it felt like for someone to hug her, she had been too busy preparing and surviving.

“shhh...” he cooed in her ear, his arms giving her a squeeze.

She could feel him lean his chin on the top of her head as he started to slowly rock them back and forth.

“It’s not the first time that someone had came up here in tears. This path is hard but you’re not alone. We’re all family here.” His voice was soothing, he understood all too well how stressful things could get. Disappointments were inevitable.

She nodded. Lily wiggled and felt his arms slack a bit but it was just enough room.  Acting on impulse. She turned her body and buried herself in his chest. Her arms encircling around his back gently. She could feel his hesitation for a second before his arms wrapped themselves around her as he continued to hold her close. Kwon Jiyong smelt nice, she noted, he wore an enticing cologne with a hint of spice.

Jiyong had been surprised by the sudden appearance of the one girl he was trying to avoid in YGE. He had come up to the roof top of the company for a quick cigarette, half hoping and yet half dreading she was up there too. Relief and disappointment hit him at once when he saw that the rooftop was empty.

He had decided to drop in real quick after grabbing dinner with Teddy and Gummy at their house. There were some USB files and folders he needed for the next few projects he had planned out. Yes he was working on his vacation. He couldn’t help it.

After hanging out with Chaerin for the day last week, they had ended up in a sudden argument. A feat in itself since they haven’t fought in so long, he couldn’t remember the last time. For some reason she seemed irritable and kept pestering him about this and that. And it didn’t help that when he told her that he had actually grabbed lunch with a female trainee. She went off on his . To which he didn’t understand because he thought honesty was always key.

He had defended himself instead of backing down. He believed he did nothing wrong. He grabbed lunch, that was it. Chaerin didn’t even give him for going out for dinners with model friends in Japan or club events in America at the Playboy mansion last year. So why now when it was just a young seventeen year old trainee from the same company? The argument got ugly when she threw in his face that he was acting ‘differently’ with her. He didn’t even know what that even meant, he retorted back. He ignored the hurt in her eyes, he ignored the guilty tug at his conscience.

 They still haven’t made up yet and it was stressing him out. This is why he hated relationships, it just got so messy. He thought they understood each other well enough after all these years. So he had told her before cutting the call that to make her happy, he wouldn’t associate with Lee Lily anymore. She didn’t reply nor even acknowledge the promise.

So it’s fine. I’m just doing a sunbae’s job to support their hoobaes, he thought to himself as he guided the both of them to a pair of lounge chairs. She was still a kid. He was a 26 year old man, much older than her already.

This was just his duty as a senior.

That’s all.

End of Chapter

Author's note: Sorry for the long wait, it's been a transition  and I was debating on continuing this story. As some may already be aware, I am the formerly known Scibbbbler, original author of this fic and will be posting under this account. This fic was written as an underdog theme for my friend whom some have met already. Will try my best so please support me warmly.

*bows*