"You once said to me that I was sent by the gods to save you. You were mistaken. You were the one sent and I in need of saving."
-- Gannicus to Sibyl [Spartacus: War of the Damned]

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“If you look for it, I have a sneaky feeling that love, actually, is all around.”

She blew her nose for the nth time, the movie characters’ voices drowning her small hiccups as Love Actually’s scenes replayed for the third time on the plasma screen. Curled up on her couch, Sophie tried and failed to stem the half-laugh, half-sob elicited by such theatrical happy-endings.

god, she was being miserable.

December twenty-third finds her in this bleak setting of holiday spending – she wouldn’t call it celebration – locked up in her pad, a hill of crumpled tissue on the floor and one of her favourite Christmas DVDs on play. The movie would be repeated countless times every night until her self-pity-slash-depression session is pushed forgotten by the hoard of projects she had to again attend to.

She had turned down the Irene and Giana’s invitations to go out tonight partly because she didn’t feel like it and because she simply did not want certain facts rubbed in. For one, she can’t go home because the storm has rendered all flights cancelled until further notice. It almost broke her to phone home and tell her parents who had been as enthusiastic about her coming as she. Secondly, while everyone basked in the joys of the season, she was alone – albeit by choice – to spend it. Everyone had made plans for themselves. They invited her to come, being the good friends that they are, but to crash in as a third wheel or anything certainly didn’t appeal. She would suffer the holidays alone if it meant that.

Thirdly, she was and still is, single. This fact she had no way of knowing if inflicted by choice, chance or by curse. It might have appeared to most people that she’d had her share of dates, which was true, but for things to progress from there to the next level seemed to be something that wouldn’t happen for her. The case was either they matched too little, or too much, they didn’t ‘click’ or just that either of them was designed for the ‘friend’ or ‘just ’ category.

Of course, she’d like to think it wasn’t her fault. Sophia Grace Lee is a charming woman – easy going, independent, confident. She looked good, socialized well. Damned successful at twenty-six too. She might have little experience but she still had it nonetheless. Better than none, right? Her skills, in bed or otherwise, were definitely not beginner level.

What the hell was wrong then?

A click from the remote sent the movie backtracking to her favourite scene. The tissue box was already half-empty but she’d deal with that later. Between calming the hiccups and wiping tears, she wondered about her problem.

Four years ‘til her finish line – the countdown was inevitable. Everyone, and I mean it literally – from her family wondered how long it will be until she finds her own lifetime partner. Romantics, the Lees were. The only unmarried woman of marrying age in their family and she would expect that kind of pressure. It made her occasional home visits partly unbearable, but they were family and so she loved them still. The questions won’t stop, of course, and giving them answers of ‘getting there’ and ‘the right one hasn’t come yet’ did less to stem their curiosity.

Wasn’t anyone interested? Oh, plenty for momentary reasons. For forever? Zero.

Was she being too choosy? When he’s someone you’ll live and die with, I believe I have every right to be choosy!

Maybe she wasn’t getting into the game much? Game or not, it’s not my fault they refuse to make the winning move. I’m ready for snagging, for goodness’ sake!

The problem would be because she’s too shy. Darn shyness, I’ve gone, went and did all that but they respond like they’re fish and I’m a freaking whale about to eat them.

She burrowed into the couch and groaned. The last thing she wanted was to be a spinster. She doubted she’d live it down in her family, too. Everyone of the Lee females were married before the big three-oh. Some initially not by choice but still, they did. Turned out to be good marriages too.

That’s entirely beside the point, however. The finish line mattered less than the fact that she might not get her own happy-ever-after.

Sophia Grace Lee. Wedding planner. Forever ing alone.

Terrible.

For someone who made dreams come true for blushing brides and nervous grooms, she could not make it for herself. This was turning out to be more of a curse. Like a Midas’ touch or something.

She kicked the blanket and padded to the drawer for pen and paper. If it was going to be tonight then might as well get the job done. Sophie was going to list every prospective man and prove herself worthy of a miracle.

With any luck, by next year, she was going to be married.

___________________________________________

"I didn't think it really exists but yep, friendzoned."

Ten months to the date she’s made the list, dejectedly kicked her shoes off and sat on the curb of the street, pouting like a five-year-old who missed the parade.

Yoochun suppressed the urge to add 'Again' and crouched beside his friend, handing her a bottle of beer because there really was nothing else to do after picking her up from yet another failed date on a Saturday night.

Okay, so maybe things didn’t go too well for her. Having crossed out majority of names on her list, Sophie can very well declare that she had been more.. man-broke than before. Her dates had turned out to be either too refined (yes, as gay as day), too brusque, too quiet, sons of their egos, too good, too smart or too much the sons of their mothers.

It really was disappointing – how more and more men turn out to be the wrong ones. Did she have to date all of Korea to actually meet him? To say her self-humiliation was unbearable was incomparable to the way somebody seemed to enjoy pointing out the failure of her endeavours each time the chance appears.

"Well, we can do two things about it at least. One," he brought a finger up, "we can sulk over it and drink away until we both pass out," he grinned, "or two, you can look at the bright side and say, 'Hey, I earned another friend today!' "

Sophie looked at him with teary eyes and just pouted even more. This time, Yoochun had to laugh.

"Come here you."

 She allowed him to wrap his arms around her, resting her chin over his shoulder.

"What is wrong with me?"

“Well, for s