It was a rather rough night of the sorts.

  I found myself tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable in my fluffy sheets. I grew hot and pulled the sheets off of myself and tried to sleep without the covers on. That plan failed as soon as the air came on. I tried the 'holding onto a log' technique by having half my body out and the other half under the covers. Still, that didn't work. Something had to change. This was the third night in a row where I had little to no sleep. What was wrong with me?

 I turned over again, clutching my fluffy white stuffed dog in my arms. Jaehyuk was passed out on his side of the room, snuggled tightly into a cocoon of blue sheets. His face was peaceful, calming even. I chewed on my bottom lip as I watched him sleep, the thoughts I normally stuffed back into depths of my brain slowly coming to surface. Those thoughts that, you put aside to think about later. The ones that are so incredibly important that if you don't find answers to them, it might mess up something in the future.

What am I going to do if something happens to Grandma? What will happen to us?

How can I support my brother after Grandma passes away?

How... How am I gonna get a stable job without an education?

How am I gonna do anything?

A nauseating feeling began to form in my throat the longer I thought about these questions. Quietly, I slipped out of my covers and left the room to the escape of the bathroom. Once I found the doorknob in the pitch black, I opened the door and walked inside. Flicking on the light, I leaned up against the counter and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked awful. Deep dark bags were set under my eyes, my skin was red and flaky and my eyes were bloodshot. Not to mention my hair was greasy and unkempt. I looked like . No wonder my brother doubted my whereabouts.

Sighing, I leaned up against the door and slid to the linen floor, curling into a fetal position. I should really start thinking about these questions. Not just for my benefit, but for Jaehyuk's. If I can't support him, they'd take him away from me and send him into foster care. Or worse, back to mom and dad. My stomach turned at the thought of their faces. I couldn't let Jaehyuk back into their hands. I have to protect him and stop being such a ty brother.

But, what if he is better off in a foster home? What if a family could give him something better than I can?

No. I can't think of something like that. I need to find a job. 

I in a deep breath and stood up. A shower. I needed to clear my thoughts. 

I carefully stripped myself of what little clothes I was wearing and stepped into the off white shower. Pulling back the curtain, I turned the knob and waited to immerse myself into the hot water. It wasn't long until the water began to steam and I dunked my head first into the hot shower of water, already feeling clean. The feeling of hot water running down your body at 3am is probably one of the best feelings in the world. I forgot about my thoughts and washed myself until I felt clean.

My shower lasted about 20 minutes until the water turned cold. After that, I left the shower and pulled my clothes back on and left for the living room to think for a little bit. I sat down on the recliner and turned the TV on, flipping through channels and prayed there was something good on. I stopped on a repeat of today's MBC show, Star King. I used to love watching that show when I was little. It was fun to watch the idols dance and I would attempt to copy them. Normally, I could copy what they did and I had improved my dance skills the longer I watched. But after my parents left us on the streets, I gave up dancing a focused on trying to get better grades so that maybe I could get a chance in a scholarship.

"Aiyaa, let me try..."

My skin raised into millions of goosebumps at the sound of that voice. I knew that boy anywhere. A smile crept onto my face as the blonde boy strutted out onto the stage. Jonghyun. He's been my idol since forever and I've always tried to be like him. But... I've long since strayed away. Though, there is still a part of me who wants to be just like him. To dance and sing on stage, dye my hair and earn lots of money. 

As he began to dance on the TV, a thought hit me hard.

I can dance.

I'm relatively attractive with make-up on.

I can sing.

I'm small and good at modeling.

Maybe... Maybe I could be like Jonghyun and save my brother and Grandma.

Quickly, I lept out of my chair and dashed back to the bedroom, yanking my laptop off the cord. Startled, Jaehyuk awoke with wide eyes. If I were him, I'd have been surprise too. It wasn't very often that I had bursts of energy like this.

"Hyung... W-What's going on?" he asked in a slurred voice.

I dropped my laptop on my bed and hopped to my little angel's bed, "Hyung has an idea. Go back to sleep sweetie." I whispered. With a peck to his forehead, I grabbed my laptop and dashed back to the living room. Flicking it on, I went to work trying to look for an Entertainment of some sort that was scouting this year. Site after site I looked, but my efforts were fruitless. Nobody was scouting and if they were, it was only for privileged schools who were doing talent shows. I was no longer in school and nor was I privileged.

The pitter patter of feet knocked me out of my trance on the computer screen and I saw my brother standing in the hall, a worried look on his face.

 "Kibum-hyung... It's 3 something in the morning... You need to get some rest if you're-" he paused to yawn, "...going job hunting tomorrow..." 

I smiled softly and beckoned him over, "I am going job hunting tomorrow... I.... I'm actually job hunting right now."

Jaehyuk tilted his head a bit and padded over to me. He slid comfortablly into a slit next to my leg and huddled close to my chest. "Those are just scouting dates... That's not job hunting at all."

I carefully pulled a blanket over his skimpy body and pulled him closer, "Remember when I used to dance for money out on the street near our neighborhood?"

Jaehyuk nodded into my chest, sniffing a bit. Poor baby must be catching a cold.

"I'm a good dancer and singer Jae... It just doesn't come out anymore because I've been so focused on getting a job and making sure you're safe. I can finally get back on track and maybe find a job. If I can get into these scouting groups and they like me alot, I can get a job. I can get money. Then I can take care of you and Grandma."

Jaehyuk smiled, "But Grandma said she doesn't need any help."

I ran a hand through his tangled mess of black hair, "We have to thank her for caring for us one day Jae. I can't think of it any better than giving her a place in our home when she can't care for herself anymore."

"Hey..." Jaehyuk gasped, pointing to the computer screen, "That...Jonghyun's company. SM Entertainment is scouting at my school...."

I felt my hear leap out of my chest. Maybe I had a chance at this. Maybe I could really get a job.

Jaehyuk sat up and clicked on the link to the scouting date, his eyes scanning the screen, "It says that the talent show will be taking place April 2nd of this year in the school audotourium at the end of the day."

"That's great! That'll give me a month to get ready and maybe come up with a dance.. or practice dancing..." I said, excitment building in my thoat.

"There's one problem..."

"What's that?" I asked, my smile fading.

"It's only for students..." Jaehyuk repiled.

My heart dropped again. Great. Back to ground zero.

"I'll talk to my teachers... I'll tell them the situation we're in and how important this is to our family. They'll understand and they might make an exception..." Jaehyuk sputtered, "I-I know a few teachers who really like me... They can get you through this. Meanwhile, you sign youself up for a job tomorrow and find a place where you can work on your dancing and singing."

I was surprised. This little brother of mine. He... He never spoke that much. Instead of arguing, I simply nodded and shut my laptop. Jaehyuk turned off the TV and pulled me off the recliner, practically pushing me to our room. 

I was stunned. Surprised. I felt every emotion at that moment.

I was on my way to doing what I loved.

I'm on my way Jonghyun... Just wait a little longer.

A/N: Busy Busy ;; Not sure how much I'll update anything but, here you all go. The long awaited Chapter 2 c: