I love my grandma.

 I really do. She's been through all of it with me. The tears, the anger, and the feeling of betrayal. All of it. And I share my secrects with her, confide to her my worries and even share a moment of quiet with her some evenings. So the situation I'm in, is something I've never experienced with her.

 She's yelling at me.

 Grandma has always been a softy toward her grandsons. I'll admit, I'm a bit spoiled. I think it's because she pity's us. Mom and Dad kicked us ( well, more of Jaehyuk came with me ) when we were really young. He was ten, he was five. I really don't remember mom and dad. Nor do I want to.

 " Boy! Are you listening to me Kibum? Pay attention to your grandma!"

 She gives my cheek a small slap, pulling me out of LaLa-Land. I sit silently, waiting for the reprimanding to end. This is what I love about grandma. She's tough. Unlike myself, who falls over and faints at the sight of a spider the size of a pencil eraser. I make grandma or Jaehyuk kill them.

"Kibum."

 I snap back into reality again, seeing my grandma had calmed down. There was a smile on her old, wrinkled face. It brought out the crows feet and smile lines as well as two wrinkled dimples. She took my bony, witch-like hand that was so new and tan-ish into her pale spoltched ones. I couldn't help but notice how soft they were. Just like a baby's.

"I know you've had it tough for a couple of years, but you're twenty now Kibum. You may not be in college, but you still need to find a job."

I looked away, feeling slightly ashamed.

 "Jaehyuk is gonna need someone to depend on. Who's gonna provide food and a home for him when I'm not here?" she added in a hushed tone, " just remember that."

 With a wave of her hand, I was free to leave and dash down the hall to my bedroom. Remember when I said I was spoiled? Well, I kinda am. I mentioned before that I'm a fan of Kim Jonghyun. The most gorgeous male you will ever meet in your entire life. His voice is a sweet melody, like he has a chorus of mockingbirds in his throat. His eyes are a beautiful rich brown, overlapping with lighter tones of ambers, like chocolate rivers. Smile, is to die for. I swear it can give girls/guys s when they see him...

 I love him. More than anything else in this world.

 But I know I'll never get as close to him as I want to be. He's a celebrity and I'm just a twenty year old gay boy who has no job, parents who hate him, no education, bad drinking problem... etc etc. I could go on and on about my flaws.

 I flaunce into my 'room' and flop down onto the bed next to the poster of Jonghyun next to my bed. Tracing my fingers over his face, I sigh and roll over.

 I really don't have a room to myself. Grandma is old, 85 to be exact. Living off social security checks with two grandsons who depend on her for food, stuck our butts in a run down apartment complex. It's not terrible. We just live on the 23rd floor of a 26 home apartment with two bedrooms and the occasional cockroach or huge spider.

 When I mean I really don't have a room to myself, I really mean I don't have a room to myself. One side has my bed with a pink comforter and several handmade blankets on it that ranged in colors and textures. And not to forget my family of stuffed animals. From bears, to birds, to reptiles and furry mammals and many others, I know I could never rid of any of them. Each had a special meaning. Surrounding my bed are picture frames, photos, hand drawn pictures, job applications, money in a bag ( I don't have a piggy bank) that's for a Jonghyun concert. Including a Jonghyun shrine.

 Let's all not forget I'm a 20 year old boy who has nothing else better to do.

 On the other side of the room; however, is a more boyish themed bed. Dark blue comforter with baby blue sheets. A few gray pillows here and there and a lone stuffed blue bear that looked to have better days. On the wall were picture frames, wall decorations and a few hand drawn pictures.

 On the bed lay Jaehyuk. My baby brother and the love of my life. He'd fallen asleep, sprawled out over the entire area of the bed. It was cute! I creep over to the bed and sit down next to my baby brother's curly head and gently reach over to brush a few honey-gld strands off of his plump cheeks.

 He stirs and slowly opens his eyes while making a low noise. "Hy-Hyung?" he asks, taking his time to sit up. As he tries to rub the sleep out of his eyes, I can't help but melt forom the adorable waves radiating off his body.

 I grab him and pull the startled 15 year old into my embrace and flop over onto the squishy cheeks with a huff and ruffle the crap out of his hair. "Do you even know how adorable you loked just now?! Gah~! What am I gonna do with you?" I say in ahoney sweet voice. Soon, I begin to tickle him and it soon turns into a wrestling match until we fall off the bed in a mass of covers and giggles.

 We perform our nightly ritual and change into our pjs. Mine being long pajama pants with faint, worn out fabric that had been worn away for so many years of use. He puts on a pair of plaid boxers.

 Usually, he'd hop into his bed and say goodnight. But I knew something was up the second he hopped into bed next to me, holdong my hand.

 "Neh. Hyungie. Where were you today? You didn't pick me up from school."

 I turn away, feeling a little embarrassed.

 "N-Nothing. I was here sleeping."

 He frowns at me and shakes his head before burying himself into my chest.

 "Says the boy who smells like alcohol and weed."

 He's too close.... 

 A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I do :3

 See you soon!

 -Kat