Soohyun was nervous to say the least. Hoon walked calmly beside him, an arms width apart and looking anywhere but at Soohyun. His heart dropped and he knew he would have to speak his words carefully. Very carefully in order for Hoon to believe him. Really believe him. Soohyun needed it desperately. 

 

"H-Hoon..." Soohyun stopped. The street was dark and deserted anyway, a good thing as Soohyun really wouldn't be able to confess if there was a crowd. "Hoon, when I came onto you, it...it wasn't just because I was ually frustrated. I didn't even realize it then, Hoon, but... Hoon you mean so much more to me than that. Than some frivolous tryst in the dorm. No, Hoon, I-"

 

"Love me?" Hoon interrupted, rolling his eyes, "I don't think you do, Soohyun. You just want to keep the peace within the band, right? And the fact that I'm being so cold to you is killing you, isn't it? Because it ruins the calm atmosphere. The members are questioning you, looking at you differently, right?" Hoon ranted. 

 

"It is killing me!" Soohyun shouted, surprising both of them. "It's killing me that you're so cold to me, but not because of the group. We've gone through worse than this, so much worse, Hoon. The last thing on my mind is how the other members think of this. I only care about you, I don't want you to see me as a bad guy, Hoon. I'm not. Or at least, I try not to be." Soohyun looked at the ground. 

 

"You're doing a lousy job then." Hoon scoffed and began walking again, this time back to their dorm. 

 

"Wait, Hoon, I-" Soohyun called, but Hoon wasn't listening anymore. Hopelessly, Soohyun stood in the middle of the sidewalk in misery. It had gotten cold with the setting of the sun, but Soohyun couldn't move. Hoon was rejecting him completely. And he hadn't even gotten to say the most important part yet. 

 

Instead of following Hoon back, Soohyun eventually began walking around in the cold, damp night. He kicked a few rocks and pieces of trash here and there, but noting kept his mind from his sinking chest. 

 

And boy, did this hurt. 

 

Hoon wasn't ever so harsh to anyone, not even during his worst arguments. He was so kind and caring and the fact he was like this toward Soohyun only confirmed his theory. Soohyun must have hurt Hoon beyond comprehension with his stupid mistake. 

 

If there was anything Soohyun regretted, it was that moment he pressed his lips to Hoon's. It had felt great at the moment, more than great, even. But right now, nothing hurt as much as that kiss. Touching his lips, Soohyun's hand came back wet with salty tears. 

 

He hadn't even realized he was crying. But he wasn't surprised. He wasn't one to ever hold back his emotions, he was usually straightforward. 

 

Maybe that's why Hoon was so upset and didn't believe him. Soohyun hadn't ever hid anything from them before, and why should his feelings of love be any different? Soohyun didn't understand why his heart had hid his deepest feelings from him. 

 

What a cruel thing to do. 

 

"What can I do?" Soohyun asked himself desperately, finally noticing how blurry his eyes had become from his tears. 

 

His phone ringing pulled his from his desperate thoughts. "Soohyun? Soohyun, where are you?" Kiseop rushed, worried, "it's nearly midnight."

 

"Oh...is it?" Soohyun wondered and looked around him and then told Kiseop his location. 

 

"Oh, I'm around there, too." Kiseop said happily. 

 

"You were looking for me?" Soohyun asked, shocked. "Why?"

 

"I was worried, pabo. And it didn't help you wouldn't answer your phone until just now." Kiseop mumbled. "Just stay where you are and we'll go back together, okay?" 

 

Soohyun mumbled an affirmative answer and sat at the bus stop bench. The buses had long ago stopped running, and Soohyun was shivering. 

 

It had gotten really cold. 

 

Kiseop was there after a while, and calling a cab. He sat beside Soohyun and didn't ask any questions. That's what Soohyun liked most about Kiseop. He didn't usually ask unnecessary questions when you didn't want to answer them. He seemed to know when you just needed the company. 

 

When the cab came, Soohyun was thankful for the warmth. And the warmth of Kiseop next to him. 

 

"Did Hoon get home safely?" Soohyun asked softly, looking at his hands. 

 

"Yeah. He looked upset, though..." Kiseop answered, studying Soohyun's face. It was tear streaked and his eyes were red. 

 

"It's my fault, Kiseop, he-" Soohyun stopped himself as a shuddering cough passed his lips. Kiseop scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Soohyun.

 

"Are you okay, hyung?" Kiseop asked, panicking slightly. 

 

"I'm fine. It's just..." Soohyun sighed and shook his head. 

 

"We'll talk once you get warmed up and at the dorm." Kiseop said, noticing they were almost home already. 

 

Kiseop forced Soohyun to take a hot shower and prepared warm green tea for his leader. 

 

"Thanks, Kiseop..." Soohyun mumbled from his bed, "I appreciate it..."

 

Kiseop sat next to Soohyun, "Do you want to talk about it...? About what happened with Hoon?" Kiseop soothed. 

 

"He...he wouldn't even listen to what I had to say... I...I messed up so bad, Kiseop. I regret everything about that morning and...and he's not taking any move to listen to me. He doesn't believe me when I tell him I love him, he wouldn't even let me say it." 

 

Kiseop sighed quietly out his nose and slumped his shoulders forward, "Hyung...it's because what you did hurt. If Jae-" Kiseop paused and cleared his throat. "If someone did that to me, I probably would do the same thing. It's serious business loving someone like Hoon loves you. And...and getting his hopes up like that..." 

 

"I know, Kiseop. God, I know. And I am sorry." Soohyun's voice cracked with tears, "I never meant to hurt him like that. I wasn't thinking, but that's no excuse. I just want-" Soohyun's voice broke off into a sob, "I don't care if he accepts my love afterward, I just want him to understand that I never meant to hurt him." 

 

"I know..." Kiseop sighed, patting Soohyun on the head, "I know. And it might happen sometime soon, don't give up, Soohyun. Or else he might really not forgive you." 

 

One thing that Soohyun thought Kiseop lacked in was tact, but his words were what Soohyun needed. Even if they kind of hurt to think about. 

 

"I'm exhausted, so I'm going to sleep. But, if you need anything, I'm here to listen." 

 

Soohyun nodded as Kiseop stood and moved to the door, "Kiseop?" Soohyun called out. 

 

"Mmm?" 

 

"Thank you so much." 

 

"It's what I'm here for, hyung." Kiseop smiled back and opened the door. 

 

As soon as Hoon heard Kiseop at the door, he hurriedly shuffled off back to his room, shutting the door. Leaning against the hard surface, he placed his hand over his stuttering heart. 

 

Everything Soohyun had said...had it been true? Soohyun didn't know Hoon was there, so why would he lie? That, and he sounded sincere enough. 

 

Looking around helplessly for an answer, Hoon found Dongho staring at him curiously. 

 

"What is it, hyung?" Dongho asked. 

 

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Hoon shot back, climbing into his own bed and facing the wall. 

 

"Hmph. Whatever." Dongho pouted and rolled back over to resume sleeping. "Just forgive him already." 

 

Hoon blinked in shocked confusion at Dongho's words. With his thundering heart, Hoon considered doing just that. 

 

 

 

One more chapter after this~~~ *hums*