2;

A bittersweet smile spread across Bobby’s face as he sees Jisoo enter their waiting room. Jisoo, once from the group PinkPunk was also his friend. He really liked her as a person and she had a laid back personaility. Bobby liked her. He really did. These days, however, he felt rather uncomfortable with her. Not only because she had recently confessed her feelings to Hanbin, it was also because she knew too much.  Bobby’s eyes focused on her as she wrapped her arms around Hanbin for an embrace. His chest started to ache even though it was a common gesture she usually did with Hanbin, even before her confession. Hanbin, indifferently, hugged her back and greeted her. He had yet to reply to her confession, but their relationship seemed to be unaffected. Bobby couldn’t help but think, I wish I was her.

The three of them were friends. Bobby had been oblivious to Jisoo’s knowledge of his feelings until very recently, when she had also tagged along to DongHanbin’s Farewell Party. Unlike Hanbin and Bobby, Jisoo didn’t mind drinking and had drank just a little bit too much that day. When the party began to draw to a close, the majority of guests were slurring their words together or had passed out entirely after the evening of blasting music, alcohol and partying. Bobby, Hanbin along with DongHanbin, Yesung and Kangin were the only sober ones. The sober members had no choice but to help the wasted guests home. On that particular evening, Jisoo was assigned to Bobby and little did Bobby know about Jisoo’s habit of spilling secrets when she was drunk.

“D..Bobbyee~ you pprobably haave nooooo~ idea. But, I loovee Hanbin” Jisoo’s words slurred as Bobby struggled to keep her on her feet. Jisoo’s face closed into Bobby’s as she pressed into his chest. Bobby hated drunks the most. Sober Jisoo was very straight-forward and honest, which was a trait Bobby liked about her. Today, she was full-on clingy and annoying, reminding him how much he hated alcoholic beverages.

“I love him,” she repeated again, as if she knew that Bobby had forcibly ignored her the first time. Was she trying to tell him to back off? Even though Bobby knew she was clearly not in her right mind, Bobby couldn’t help but panic. Bobby tried to increase the distance between the drunk girl and himself without dropping her, as she evidently could not stand on her two feet by herself. His chest tightened, to the point where he felt as if he would suffocate. Why? And How? Bobby wanted to ask Jisoo. How did Jisoo know? Judging from her actions, it was clear to Bobby that she knew about his feelings for Hanbin. Had he been that obvious? He hoped not. He didn’t want to ruin what he and Hanbin already had either. In that brief moment, Bobby realised that he would never view Jisoo as the same friend ever again. Bobby really liked the girl even though he would never view her as a possible mate, she was like the sister he never had.

After snapping out of his deep thoughts, Bobby realised he had not replied to Jisoo’s outburst. Bobby quickly and awkwardly replied: “Oh..oh really? Er, that’s nice to know” and the conversation, if there was one to begin with ended. Silence came. Bobby hated awkwardness. He was an incredibly lonely fellow to begin with and knew that the trip to Jisoo’s home would be a long and painful one if they were left swimming in the sea of discomfort. After a few more minutes of silence, he clumsily asked:

“N-nice weather, hey?”

Bobby closed his eyes out of embarrassment. Nice one, Bobby. Smooth, real smooth. Out of all the things you could have said to a drunk girl, you go with ‘nice weather.’ If there was a shovel, I would have dug a hole and died in it already. Bobby slowly turned around to study Jisoo’s expression. It hit him hard then, it took him one look to realise that Jisoo was less drunk than he thought she had been. , she was acting. Before Bobby could even think to reason why she would do that in the first place, Jisoo slipped out of his arms.

“Bobby. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put on this act. I thought it would be an easier way to let you know about my feelings without changing our friendship. But, I realise its awkward any way. Bobby, you’re my friend. I want to keep it that way. But, I know you have feelings for Hanbin as well.” Jisoo grabs both of Bobby’s hands and holds them in a caring mother-like way. “I’ve seen how you look at him, Bobby. I’ve seen how you treat him and as much as I would support you two, I can’t.

“I’m sorry for saying this Bobby, but you know how wrong your love is. Even if people say ‘love can overcome everything,’ you know the truth. We both know how wrong it is. The whole world says it’s wrong Bobby,” Jisoo emphasises as she grabs a tighter hold of his hands. By now, tears brimmed both pairs of eyes.

“I know,” Bobby says, as he looks down, unwilling to look into the latter’s eyes.

“People will look at you differently. People will treat you differently. They will stare. They will mock. They will laugh. They will curse. Because that’s the true nature of society, the true nature of people.”

“I know.”

“So, please Bobby, you have to stop this, this is for your own good.

“I know.”

“Bobby.. please..”

“I know.”

“Bobby, listen to me…”

Bobby finally looks back into Jisoo’s eyes, his face covered in tears. “No Jisoo. Listen to me.” He was now yelling. “I know all of this. I know. You don’t have to tell me. You have no idea how hard it is. You have no idea how hard it is to look in the mirror and feel disgusted about yourself. You have no idea how hard it is when you love someone you shouldn’t have. You have no idea how painful, how many tears and the self-control, I need to tell have to stop yearning, stop falling deeper and deeper in love when the love can never be achieved.” Bobby struggled to draw breaths; he was panting heavily and sobbing.

“Bobby,” as Jisoo opened her arms, offering for an embrace, “I’m sorry.” Bobby leaned in and cried in Jisoo’s arms. He sobbed for what seemed like hours. He cried and cried until he felt that all the water from within his body had all been used up. After calming down, he hesistantly whispered into Jisoo’s ears.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell him or anyone. It won’t happen.

Ever.”
 

Lost in his own thoughts again, Bobby had no clue Jisoo had approached him.

Slap

Bobby jumped in pain. Jisoo had slapped him across his bare arm and it was now stinging red. “H-Hey! What was that for?” Bobby yelped as he turned his attention to his wounded arm. “I said hi, but you didn’t reply” she cheekily smiled.

He turned back to her, meeting her eyes. Guilty, Bobby apologised: “Sorry, I was thinking .. about things.” Giving him a knowing look, her cheekiness that was evident before was now long gone. It was replaced with a concerned look. Jisoo asked:

“How is everything going?”

Bobby carefully replied, “It’s hard. But I’ll manage.”

“Do you need me to help?”

“No, I can manage.”

“Are you sure? I can set you up on dates. That’ll put your mind off things.”

“No. That’s the last thing I need,” he strongly replied as he cleared some space on the couch and laid down. “Jisoo, I won’tell. Trust me.”

“I’m going to go sleep now.” Bobby said outloud, hoping that she would understand and walk away. Fortunately for Bobby, Jisoo was smart and knew that he wanted some space. Jisoo silently walked off and left Bobby in peace.

Jisoo, I’m sorry. I really do need some time. I’m jealous. I’m tired. I’m selfish and the last thing I want is help from you. Bobby cursed himself for having such vulgar thoughts. He wondered when it was that he started to become so mean and drifted off into a dreamless nap.