***NOT A POEM.***
***I just decided to put it in here.***

 

Background Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnHmXbkzm2U&feature=related (BIGSTAR: Think)

Underlined And Italics = song lyrics

Only Italics = Conscience

******

I wasn't happy.

At all.

I was downright fuming.

How dare he do that?

I threw my bag into the corner of the practice room and walked over to the stereo with my iPod in my tight grasp. I plugged it in and retsarted the song I was playing.

I set it to repeat.

Walking to the middle of the room, I got into position.

I danced away my anger; my sorrow dissipating slowly with each beat of the song. My thoughts were focused and my movements on point. I was even singing to myself.

"Baby I love you, I miss you"

 

The song was insanely depressing yet I kept dancing. I felt the tears in my eyes and my throat close up.But I kept dancing. The chorus came around again.

"Baby I love you I miss you"  Yeah right.You saw him. How happy he looked with her all over him. He doesn't love you. He never did."  My conscience berated me. I sighed and continued dancing, ignoring it.

 

"He played you like a video game. And won. You're hurting and he's happily swapping spit with another girl right now."

My conscience didn't shut up. I wasn't even aware that I was still dancing or that the song had played over 3 times already. My sadness had returned with a vengence, taking over my mind.

Tears fell from my eyes and my head started to hurt.

But I didn't stop dancing.

My legs were starting to become numb.

But I didn't stop dancing.

My arms were becoming stiff.

Yet I wouldn't stop dancing. Because if I did, all of my feelings would drop on me like a nuclear warhead. I didn't want to feel. I just wanted to remain numb to the harsh world around me.

"You knew it was gonna happen. It was too good to be true. Really? A nice, good-looking guy likes you? Not in any lifetime."

My conscience attacked again. I stumbled and my vision blurred. By now, I was bathed in sweat and the song had replayed all of 6 times and my limbs felt as if they were about off drop and my lungs were burning.

I knew it was too good to be true.

I knew it yet a small part of me hoped I was wrong, that someone truly liked me for me. I didn't think about it thoroughly enough. I just hopped at the absurd oppurtunity of someone actually calling me their girlfriend.

The words of the song finally got to me after I collapsed onto the hard wooden floor of the practice room in utter mental, physical and emotional exhaustion.

 

"My heart hurts so much right now, I’m so sad right now

I miss you right now, but I know I can’t see you"

I never thought a song could make me reflect on my actions. Especially a depressing song.

I was tempted to pick up my phone to call him, just to hear his voice. But I know it would be no use becuase he didn't love me like he claimed.

 

"I can’t forget you, I can’t erase you so I’m pressing your phone number again"

I smiled bitterly to myself as tears and sweat dripped off my face onto the floor.

 

"Do you know? Do you know love?

You really don’t know about my aching heart

Do you know? Do you know love?

You really don’t know about my aching heart"

 

No, he doesn't. Or he does and just chooses to sadistically trample it with kleats and a smile on his face.

 

"Baby I love you I miss you, I miss you so much

Now what do I do?"

I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

 

I'm gonna it up and move on with my life.I'm gonna get up and shake it off.

I try to get up from the floor but I'm just too tired.

"You're tired of the lies and sweet nothings"

My conscience came back and degraded me again. I must be mad; talking to myself.

Yes I was tired of lies and sweet nothings but I needed to get up and move on. I propped up on one arm and tried to sit up fully but I fell back down. New tears formed.

The floor was like a refuge.

The floor didn't judge me.

It didn't lie to me.It didn't even complain that I was lying on it, sweaty and nasty and sad.

The floor supported me. It held me up.

He could learn a thing or two from this hard, wood floor. I smiled despite my tears. I eventually laughed at the thought of the floor lecturing him.

I can do this.

It might take a little time but I'll feel better and get over it.

With my new mind-set and strength, I slowly sat up and got to my trembling, stiff feet.

Walking over to the stereo, I stopped the song and unplugged the iPod.

 

I will get over it eventually. But I would just have to think things through and take it one step at a time.