Makiko's Review!!!
My hidden talent?
Title: 3/5
Your title is short and that's a brownie point for me. I don't like very long titles. I'm being a Grammar Nazi here, if you don't mind. It just bothers me a little bit that the 'H' in hidden and the 't' in talent isn't capitalized. If it was, it would seem more professional. But some readers don't particularly care, so it's fine just the way it is. ^ ^
Description: x/10
Description - It's short, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It will tempt the viewers to read the first chapter to see what will happen.
Foreword - Again, it was short, but it definitely did give the readers a bit of something to expect in the story. There just a few mistakes I would like to point out, though.
"And the only people that I can trust enough to help me is the newbies at camp...Teen Top."
The error in this sentence is the use of the word 'is". Replace the word 'are' in place of the word 'is'. The reason why this is correct is because 'are' identifies something plural, or more than one. Since 'newbies' is more than one, the word 'are' should be used instead of 'is". Another error ~ When you type out 'I'm', the letter I is always lowercased. Did you type it like that on purpose? It seems like it, but I'm not sure myself. xDD
Poster: 4.5/5
I really like the poster. I think it really shouts, "Spooky". I was about to say that you should have given the person a more casual picture to use for the poster, but Teen Top acts cute in most of their casual group photos anyway. xDD
Plot: 10/10
The plot is really interesting! I love it! It's a plot that can be able to be worked with, and it wouldn't be boring to update. Well, at least that's what I think. It's the kind of plot that people would expect a lot from, and that's a good thing. ^ ^
Grammar/Spelling: 3.5/10
There are many grammar and spelling errors, but I'm not going to point them all out to you. I'll just point out the most important ones you need to remember ~
Your and You're have totally different meaning. They are easily mistaken for each other, but they still have different meanings. 'Your' is a possessive pronoun used to define someone's possession. Ex: Can I borrow your Teen Top CD? 'You're' is a contraction which means the same as 'you are'. Ex: You're sure you don't like Niel?
Their, there, and they're. These three have different meanings, and I'm certain that I saw you misuse the word 'their' when you should have used 'there'. "I just sat their in awe as..." You used the word 'their' correctly most of the time when you used that word, but you probably misunderstood the meaning of that word in this sentence. The word 'there' should have been used instead of 'their'.
There are many other careless mistakes that everyone makes, and I'm not going to list them. If you want me to personally correct them for you, I'd be happy to ~ You can ask me on my AFF wall. ^ ^
Ending: x/10
The story isn't complete, so I'll just leave this blank. ^ ^
Writing: 29/40
Your writing style is easy to understand, and displays a good sense of imagery. It was smart of you to place pictures to show the reader how the rock climb and lake looked like, but try to work on descriptive descriptions so you don't have to go looking for pictures. (: Overall, I like your writing style. ^ ^
Chapter Titles: 4.5/5
I thought the chapter titles were fine. It was related to the chapter, just like it's supposed to be, so you did a good job on that. The only reason why it's deducted a half point off is because of the capitalization problem just like what I described earlier on your title.
Format: 5/5
The format made the story easy to read, and that's great! Readers tend to enjoy this kind of format the best, since it isn't all clumped up into paragraphs.
total = 79.5/100
oh, what the heck. I'll just round up your score. c:
80%
Advice! > w <
- Work on descriptions!
- Do not change your writing style. The way you write is fine the way it is ~
- Make sure to check on Word for careless grammar and spelling mistakes~
- Remember to capitalize your titles correctly! ~
♥Makiko's Message:
Hey, I loved your story! Even though there wasn't a lot of correct grammar and spelling, I could still understand what you were talking about. So don't feel to bad about my comment on that part. ^ ^ You know, I just might - *clicks subscribe button* I like your story a lot. ^ ^ Don't give up on fanfic writing ever. Sometimes grammar and spelling isn't all that matters. What matters the most is the way you tell the story.
ChunJi says:
❝ MIANHAE, L.JOE! The little ghost children told me they'd kill me if I didn't do this! TT A TT !! ❞
___________________________________________
Thank you sooooo much Makiko for the awesome review.
Your the best!!!
I'll work harder on making it better.
So thanks again to Makiko at Lemonswirls!!!
And I know I haven't updated in a while but I promise i'll update soon.
THANK YOU <3
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