Length: 3/3 + bonus chapter

Summary: Soojung falls in love, again, with her replica.

part three

And once, you must fall in love with someone exactly like you. This will teach you who you are, and who you want to be.

Maybe they’re the perfect couple – that’s what everyone says.

Kim Jongin and Jung Soojung can be like Bonnie and Clyde, only they don’t kill people, but they live the normal lives everybody does. It’s the final senior year, and even if Soojung has never wanted to fall in love again, she did anyway. It’s hard – especially when it’s Kim Jongin, the first (and maybe, the only one) guy who ever makes her feel so comfortable about living life the way she does with her own.

She doesn’t remember how they met, or specifically, how they became together. It just sort of happened, and she doesn’t expect it to. He’s a good friend, and he supports whatever she does, and sometimes, he even tells her it’s okay to do crazy things once in a while.

Soojung likes how she can tell him anything, and get away with it, because Sehun doesn’t always let her do things her way. Usually, Sehun tells her to stop before she can create trouble, before she can regret it in the end – Jongin says otherwise.

“We’re bound to do stupid things once in a while,” Jongin reasons out.

And she assures herself that he’s right, that even if he gets reckless and really stupid once in a while, she admits that Jongin can be right in few things. He does things without hesitation, but with courage and the belief that he has another day to live if things messed up yesterday – Soojung adores that about him.

Maybe it’s because he’s everything she has ever wanted to be. Brave. Risk-taker. Real.

One night, they talk about love and relationship, and Jongin tells him she’s not his first. Soojung shrugs, because really, she doesn’t care if she wasn’t even if most girls did. Curious, Soojung asks him if he has ever been in love or if he has felt butterflies in his stomach for a certain girl. Jongin tells him no, and he surprises her with his answer of, ‘Love hurts, so I tend to stay away from it.’

Because deep inside, Soojung would have liked it if he admits of falling in love now.

Soojung is left disappointed with his answer; she doesn’t tell him that though. Instead, she lies, and she agrees with him on that but what irony is it that when they part ways, they tell each other the three words. Soojung, perchance, means it and Jongin probably does not – he says it for the relationship’s sake.

When Soojung arrives home, Sehun greets her by the door, armed with a rather comforting hug and a question of – ‘What is going on with you?’ At first, she doesn’t understand, because her mind is confused and it’s stuck in a tangled web of unanswered questions. She walks to her room, with Sehun tagging along behind her, and thinks about his question.

What is really going on with her? Is it Jongin? Or is it because of growing up?

So, the next day, Soojung is determined to find out what’s going on with herself, because lately, she’s been out of the world. It’s like she’s not even here, even if she is physically present. When she meets Jongin, he brushes his lips on hers – softly, at first, and then turns a little needy and rough until he breaks away.

What’s wrong? She asks her though she doesn’t sound worried.

Jongin scoots next to her, and lays his head on her shoulder along with a deep sigh. It’s been weird lately, he answers her five minutes later, his hand fiddling with her hair. I feel like I’m not here even though I am.

Soojung blinks, and the words fade away in the back of her mind. Perhaps, she’s found her answer.

When Jongin doesn’t appear on third period for Calculus, Soojung speculates that he’s somewhere with his friends – or alone – doing something else, something he calls ‘productive’. She doesn’t bother calling (even though Sehun keeps on sending her strange, hand signals from the back to ask about her so-called boyfriend, she plainly ignores him, or the fact that Baekhyun keeps staring at her as if he’s really concerned) Jongin’s phone, because she knows.

She knows too well of his activities – because if it were Soojung in his shoes, she would do the same.

That’s her answer. Jongin is too predictable that it becomes startlingly jaundiced. Their relationship, that is. Maybe she has made a mistake somewhere. Soojung used to think that having someone who she has similar interests with is the key to a successful relationship, but she’s wrong.

So wrong.

Daydreaming, she recalls the number of times they kissed ‘romantically’ and how she didn’t feel the sparks. She remembers Jongin surprising her countless of nights by tapping on her window with stones – though it wasn’t exactly a surprise, seeing as he’s been doing it every single night. They talk about the same things, and they always agree on their opinions. It’s strange.

Maybe it’s because we’re never meant to be together.

The Calculus teacher calls her attention, but she doesn’t budge. She’s too concentrated on her thoughts to even sink back to reality – now she’s somehow awake. What Soojung feels for Jongin isn’t real love, because when it comes to love, the real kind of love, the person changes for the better – Soojung notices. While she’s around him, she never gets better.

Instead, she gets comforted at the thought that somebody else is suffering like her, that somebody is else can go through the same thing as hers – and still become a friend.

So the next time she sees him, probably when he’s come back from being too crazy once in a while, she’ll tell him the truth.

And maybe, just maybe, break up with him.

pic © to angelectic