Chaerin and Teddy left the practice room. In one hand Teddy was holding her bag, the other he was holding her hand. CL was smiling softly, they were walking to his studio.

Upon reach there he released her hand, she sat on the couch, watching him. He was amazing, he shined in her eyes.

She not only idolized him as Teddy from 1TYM. But Teddy himself. How he held himself. His knowledge of the industry, his "I-don't-give-a--what-you-think-about-me" attitude, and most of all how he was able to read a situation and handle it. She admired him, idolized him and yes wanted him. But years have passed. He was still the same and so was she. She still loved him and well the feelings weren't the same for him. 

He played a few songs for her, pulling her back in to reality. She was one of the lucky few who got to hear him rap and sing. It was rare since Teddy pulled away from the stage and instead stayed behind the scenes. She knew she was lucky to hear this. And she knew she shouldn't feel special but she hoped that she held a place in his heart. Somewhere no one could reach. She hoped she meant something to him.

But her wishes and his songs were disrupted by a tone playing, sweet and melodic. She looked up surprised. Wondering where it came from and noticed that Teddy turned off the music, he was then digging in his pocket, pulling out a phone. She was surprised that his phone, Teddy's phone, could ring a tone. He answered it.

"Hello, babe." The sound of his voice was different. It was kind, sweet and loving. Then she remembered.

Remembered why Teddy and her could never be. 

"No, I'm not busy..." Teddy glanced at Chaerin. Giving her a "I'm sorry please don't be mad" look. 

She smiled and nodded. Who was she to be mad at him. Who was she to him at all. She motioned for herself to leave but Teddy simply just shook his head, clearly telling her to stay. Teddy put his attention back to his phone. A soft, endearing smile playing on his lips.

Chaerin's heart ached. The pain similar to how she was feeling earlier in the practice room. She was falling back to her black pit of endless pain, self-loathing and what not. How worse could it get?

"No babe. No idol girl can compare. They are not you. You are real. Your the only one I see." Teddy said lovingly. 

It got worse. She sat rigidly still. She wanted to leave. She didn't want to hear any of this but she knew she had to hear this. She needed to hear this. To remind her.

Remind her that her love will never be accomplished. That she will never, ever be loved. By her fans, by the netizens and certainly not by Teddy. 

She gripped her hands tightly together. She sat there, the cool facade of CL washing over her. Chaerin was retreating back inside her mind. Hiding once again.

"Babe, aigoo, I'll come visit you soon. I love you." Teddy chuckled. He then hanged up, turning to Chaerin. Looking at her she had a soft smile on her lips.

"Don't tell anyone I was being all cute." Teddy laughed, scratching his head.

"I won't." She laughed with him. Her voice was smooth, normal. Not a hint of anguish, "How are you and Unnie?"

"We are doing good. I should really go and fly over to visit her." He remarked.

"But going to California...that's too far. And you have us to take care of." CL said carefully. She didn't want to tie him down but she didn't want him to leave.

Teddy and his long time girlfriend from his California were an amazing couple. When Teddy left California to go to Korea with Danny to debut as 1TYM she said she would still date him. Her love would not change. Teddy took all his chances to visit her even when 2NE1 went to the US. He would spend a lot of time with her. It was amazing.

Chaerin could not ruin that. She couldn't. But her need for love was blinding her. CL would then take lead. Making sure Chaerin wouldn't make a fool of herself.

"But Chae, I was thinking...maybe you should start producing for 2NE1 sometimes. Or maybe get another producer, ya know? Switch it up a bit." He grinned slowly, thinking she would like it.

CL smiled politely. Chaerin was slowly succumbing to the darkness within her. CL needed to fix this. She had too. She had to save Chaerin because no one else would.

"Mm, well we'll have to discuss this some other time. Hey oppa, actually I think imma head to the dorms. I am sleepy and not feeling well." With the CL swiftly grabbed her bag, leaving the studio.

Teddy sat there confused but shrugged it off. Not knowing the internal battles Chaerin was having with herself.

__________________________________

Chaerin walked fast and quickly through the building. She tied her hair up, pulling out her hoodie from her bag, slipping it on. She put on her hood. It was easy now. No one would recognize her as she was in her hoodie and had her shades on and it was almost 9 in the morning. She should be asleep. But she walked out of the building. 

Walking away.

She needed a place to hide. A place to let out her frustrations. But where?

She can't be out roaming in the public. Fans would attack her. She grimaced as she realized that. Where could she possibly hide. No one would offer her solace. No one would let her be Chaerin.

Everyone wanted CL. Her members needed CL, their strong and protective leader. Not the weak and fragile Chaerin. Teddy needed CL, the girl with rapping skills and confidence. Not the unconfident and love sick Chaerin. YG needed CL, the girl who would lead 2NE1 to stardom not Chaerin the girl who wavers. Her "fans" needed CL the girl they could either hate or love not Chaerin who was nobody to them.

Chaerin was backing away. CL was coming out. Chaerin was beginning to lose the boundary she set up for herself. When CL would come out on stage. Now CL was coming out in her daily life. Chaerin rarely made an appearance.

She was falling.

No one would catch her.

She somehow ended up at the roof of the building, at the edge of it. The wind brushing past her, rustling her clothes.

If she fell, no one would catch her. No one would care. She edged closer. She screamed, her fist balled up. Adrenaline rushing through her. Just a step closer. One step closer and she'd fall. Literally.

It wasn't that she was suddenly at the edge because of Teddy and his girlfriend but it was everything that had been happening to her. Teddy was just the trigger.

Teddy was the light. The hand that would appear in the darkness. But here she was once again in the darkness. Who would offer their hand now?

She felt a pair of strong arms hug her body. She stiffened. Not knowing who it was.

A familiar voice spoke, "Please don't jump, Chaerin."

Chaerin didn't answer. She was looking at the sky. CieL meant sky in french. If she was able to fly as high as the sky would other people's judgments and hatred reach her?

"You are more than this. You will be missed. Everyone needs you." 

She laughed at his words. No one needed Chaerin, they needed CL.

"You mean CL." She said softly as the laughter subsided.

"No. I mean Chaerin. If everyone needs CL, then I need Chaerin." he said his voice filled with sadness.

"Are you sure? Do you even know who Chaerin is? Who she used to be?" She snapped, turning around, she pulled down her shades.

Fierce cat eyes glaring at the eyes staring sadly back at her. She was breathing heavily. 

Smiling bitterly she continued, "I don't know who even Chaerin is. All I remember is the past! This industry warps you. I've realized that. I don't know if I can continue. Even if I quit music they'll come after me. I can barely take care of myself now. This is tearing me apart. I can't hold myself together anymore." 

"Just cry. It'll help." He said softly.

"Oh don't you know? The public would love that." she snorted. 

She made sure to never give anyone the satisfaction of seeing her cry. Not even herself.

"It's just me and you." He pleaded. He didn't want her to hold it in anymore.

"Leaders don't cry." She said, her eyes closing. A sad smile appearing on her lips.

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A/N: I was listening to Lana Del Rey. And her songs bring me to tears and I recalled CL saying that they listen to her. Ugh this is making me emotional thus this fic being all emotional. I heard but I am not sure if its true that Teddy has a girlfriend back in the states soo yeah. I hope you guys like it.

I don't if I would call this new guy who has yet to be revealed a love interest but we shall see. 

THANK YOU. For loving this fic and supporting it! I LOVE YOU GUYS. ;w; you are all awesome! 

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