Author's note~ Sorry for the delay... life and school happened haha. half asleep right now, I will look over again in the morning but anyway, please enjoy! thank you~

Three Months Earlier. Music Bank Waiting Room. 4:30PM. Yang Yoseob.

                  Whoever said love is the best feeling a person will ever experience is a dirty liar. Well, falling in love may be nice, in a nauseatingly sweet kind of way, but an unrequited love? Yeah, that’s the worst. You give that one special person all your love only to have your heart ripped out of your chest, thrown to the ground, and then stomped on, you know, for good measure. So, all things considered, I firmly believe that no one should fall in love and those who do are idiots just waiting to be heartbroken. Why am I talking about unrequited love? Well, I happen to be one of those idiots stuck in one.

                  “Hey, Yang Yoseob! Why are you spacing out?” Junhyung said, waving his hands in my face, “Hello? Is anyone there?”

                  I swatted at his hands, “What do you want?”

                  He took a step away from me, “Well someone’s in a bad mood. Let me guess; it has to do with IU sshi, right?”

                  I shot Junhyung a glare, “Shut up.”

“Someone’s a little cranky. What happened?” When I didn’t reply, Junhyung sighed, and dragged a chair over to where I was sitting, “Come on, sulking is not going to solve anything. Plus, we have to perform soon and if you keep this I hate the world expression when you’re on stage, the fans are not going to be happy. Do you want to make the fans unhappy, Yoseob?”

I looked down at my shoes, “No.”

“Ok, then, tell me what happened?” He said, while shooing away the curious members who tried to walk over and listen to the conversation.

“It’s just…” I sighed, “Eunhyuk sunbaenim gave IU sshi a couple ring and she accepted it.”

Junhyung stifled a laugh, “And this bothers you because…?”

“He gave her a couple ring, Junhyung, they might as well be married! I’ve been waiting on the sidelines, hoping that one day they would break up and then I would have a chance with her. But now,” I paused in hopes of willing away the tears threatening to spill, “it doesn’t seem like they are going to break up. It’s just; I’ve been in love with her for years, how am I supposed to get rid of these feelings?”

Junhyung stuttered, “Well, I mean, you know-” he hesitated, raking a hand through his brown hair, before beginning again, “I mean, in reality, exchanging couple rings doesn’t mean much. Plenty of couples break up after they exchange rings. Hell, even couples that are engaged sometimes break up before they actually get married. Don’t lose hope, and just keep on being the guy who supports her. Maybe she’ll realize you’re the one for her, and if not, well then, she’s a fool, and there is someone better waiting for you.”

I sniffled, “Wow, I didn’t know you could be so deep.”

Junhyung let out a dry laugh, “Yeah, well, don’t expect this to continue. I’ve only got about three motivational speeches in me.”

I smiled, “Thank you.”

Junhyung blushed, “No problem.”

“Beast members, can you please line up backstage now?” One of the staff members said.

Junhyung patted my shoulder, “Ready?”

I nodded stiffly, and headed to where the other members were standing.

As we were walking down the corridor, I noticed that Doojoon kept shooting worried glances in my direction, and I realized it was probably because he noticed my outburst in the waiting room. I gave him a half-hearted smile of reassurance, but he didn’t seem too convinced by it. When we finally arrived backstage, the first person I see is none other than IU herself, looking absolutely beautiful in a flattering gold dress that showed off her long legs. She noticed our arrival and immediately ran over to where I was standing.

“Yoseob oppa!” Ji-eun chirped, grabbing my hand excitedly, “It’s nice to see you. How have you been?”

God, if only you knew, “I’ve been pretty good. How are you?”

“Oh, you know the usual,” she avoided looking into my eyes, “Well, nothing I can’t handle anyway.”

“Ji-eun sshi, what’s wrong?” I gripped her hand tighter, but she pulled away.

“I have to go preform soon, but I’ll catch up with you later! Bye,” With that she turned and walked to speak with the backstage manager.

Ji-eun was definitely hiding something from me. If all these years of loving Ji-eun from the sidelines taught me anything, it was that she never behaves elusively unless there is a big problem. In general, she isn’t usually one to hide how she’s feeling or try to cover something up, so her avoidance of my eye contact was a warning sign. A huge, flashing warning sign on the side of bus with slashed brakes headed off the edge of a cliff. If only I had noticed the subtle hints, had noticed how she smiled less, how she drifted away from my grasp, maybe this hell could have been prevented. But that’s not the way fate works. And I would only learn later that I had fallen into an ocean of blood.

                                                                        ***

“Yoseob oppa! So, are you going to come to the after party tonight? It’s being hosted at my apartment this time, and it would really mean a lot to me if you came!”

I blushed, “Of course I’ll be there, Ji-eun sshi. I wouldn’t miss it for anything,” so much for trying to get over her, nice one, Yoseob.

“Perfect. Then I’ll see you later tonight, oppa!” She walked over to where Eunhyuk sunbaenim was standing and hugged him from behind. I grimaced and looked away, unable to stand watching the happy couple in action.

“You alright there, Yoseob? You look like you’re in pain,” Doojoon said.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” I mumbled, “Are you going to the after party?”

“I can’t. I have a schedule at a variety show with Kikwan, Dongwoon and Hyunseung. So, looks like it will just be you and Junhyung.”

“Oh, I see,” I sighed, “Shouldn’t you get going then?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to see how you were doing. You didn’t look well in the waiting room.”

“Oh, that?” I forced a smile, “Forget about it. I’m better now, really. So, don’t worry about it anymore.”

He raised his eyebrow, “Yeah, I don’t believe you, but I have to go now so I can’t really press the issue. But rest assured, I’ll talk with you once we get back to the dorm,” He mussed my hair before turning to leave for his schedule.

I pouted and fixed my hair. Doojoon hyung was too nosy. But I suppose, it’s nice to know that he cares.   

After we located Junhyung, our manager drove us to Ji eun’s apartment early to help set up. The drive was silent, save for the occasional humming of our manager, partially because Junhyung had decided to take a quick nap and also because I was too nervous to strike up idle chatter. It wasn’t like this was the first time I was going to Ji eun’s apartment, I mean she has hosted other events there and invited a few celebrities, and it’s not as though it’s just going to be the two of us, but I fear that once I look into her eyes, all my feelings for her will rush back and I’ll never be able to escape. I need to forget her; I need to move on, I chanted, as the car pulled into the familiar gravel road in front of Ji eun’s apartment. If only it were that easy.

Ji eun opened the door almost immediately after we rang the doorbell, a smile on her face, as she eagerly gestured for us to take off our coats and come in.

“Ji eun ah where should I put these chairs?” Someone asked from the living room.

“Oh, just leave them there for now, I will adjust them later.”

“Ok. Oh, hey Yoseob sshi, Junhyung sshi.” Hyukjae sunbaenim said, appearing at Ji eun’s side.

“Hello, Eunhyuk sunbaenim,” Junhyung and I said at the same time.

Hyukjae sunbaenim laughed, wound his arm around Ji eun’s waist, “Did you come to help set up?” We nodded, “Good, come this way, there’s a lot of food that needs to be unloaded.”

We followed him, almost like two lost puppies into the kitchen where the takeout had been placed. The three of us began unwrapping the food in silence until Ji eun entered.

“How’s it going?”

“Fine, we’re almost done,” Hyukjae sunbaenim replied.

“I have to say, Ji eun ah, I’m a little disappointed that you didn’t cook the meal. I was so looking forward to you dishes,” I said.

Ji eun scowled, “Very funny, and it was only that one time that my cooking ended up being burnt! I’m actually quite the chef, right Hyukjae oppa?”

He smirked, “Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.”

“Hey, watch what you say.”

“I didn’t say anything, dear. Now look, aren’t the guests arriving? You shouldn’t keep them waiting,”

“Oh, fine, I’ll let you off for now,” She turned and left.

Soon enough, all of the guests had arrived and were seated at a long wooden table. Ji eun sat in the middle and to my displeasure, Hyukjae sunbaenim sat on her right. I had the unfortunate luck of being placed directly across from the two lovebirds. The meal progressed smoothly, a few people getting tipsy, but no one was drunk enough to make a scene, however, hours of watching the happy couple made me a little irritated.

I wanted to cut his arm off, I decided, clenching my glass of soju tighter. He had his arm draped around her shoulder, his face scrunched up as he laughed at some dumb joke, and to make matters worse, they’ve been like that for hours. Junhyung nudged me after seeing my dark expression and told me to lighten up. Yeah, sure.

                  “Well, I have to go my dear Ji eun.”

                  Ji eun pouted, “What really? Do you have a schedule, oppa?”

                  “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ll text you tomorrow though,” He kissed her on the cheek, saying a few parting words to his friends, before grabbing his coat and leaving. Relief swept over me like a tidal wave. Finally, I didn’t have to watch them hang all over each other.

                  Not long after his departure, the rest of the guests began to leave, all of them having their own schedules or other parties to attend. Soon enough, only Ji eun, Junhyung and I were left.

                  “Well, thank you Ji eun sshi, everything was wonderful,” Junhyung stretched and yawned, “but I am afraid I must depart as well. I have a schedule tomorrow.”

                  I quirked my eyebrow, “No you-”

                  “Well, I’ll see you around Ji eun sshi. And I’ll see you, Yoseob ah, at the dorm later, “ He winked, “Don’t stay out to late.” With that it was just the two of us alone.

                  We didn’t say much, mostly because I was a nervous wreck, and cleaned up before Ji eun excused herself to go to the bathroom. I finished cleaning by myself and was standing in the kitchen waiting for Ji eun to return. After twenty minutes and still no sign of her, I decided to go see what was up. To my surprise, and horror, I walked up the stairs and saw Ji eun hunched over the floor, clutching her stomach.

“Ji-eun, what’s wrong? Are you hurting anywhere?” I ran over to her in a panic.

“I-I’m fine,” She wheezed, clutching her stomach.

“Obviously, you’re not fine. Would someone who’s perfectly healthy be crouched like this on the floor in obvious pain? What’s wrong? What happened? Do I need to call the ambulance, here let me-”

“Oppa, relax. Really it’s nothing. Just-” She cringed, “Just give me a minute. If you really want to help, just rub circles on my back.”

Neither of us said anything for the next five minutes. I rubbed her back, worry etched in my features as I waited for her pain to pass. After what seemed like an eternity, she sighed and tried to stand up. I grabbed her elbow and walked her to her bed.

“So, what was that Ji-eun? What’s going on?”

She bit her lip, “Oppa, you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?”

“I won’t tell a soul,” I swore.

She sighed, hesitating before turning her brown eyes to me, “I was and now I’m pregnant.”

It felt like the world had stopped spinning, and everything was in slow motion.

“Eunhyuk sunbaenim-”

“No. It was Kyuhyun Oppa,” she sniffled as tears started to wet her face, “I went to visit their dorm to meet Hyukae oppa, but then Kyuhyun oppa smirked and said Hyukjae oppa wasn’t there. I tried to leave but her grabbed me and forced me into his room. I tried to fight him away, but he was too strong. And then he…he…”

I grabbed Ji-eun and hugged her tightly, my own tears wetting the back of her shirt before mumbled half coherent phrases of reassurance. We sat there hugging each other and crying for god knows how long until I pulled back and looked into her face.

“Did you tell Eunhyuk sunbaenim?” I asked hesitantly.

She shook her head, “I didn’t want to burden him. I mean, I know how much he cares for Kyuhyun oppa, and learning something like this would crush him. Plus, he probably wouldn’t believe me.”

“Ji eun ah, just know, that I will always be there for you. I will always support and protect you. I mean, what are friends for?” I wiped the tears from her face, “But I think we should go to the police station and-”

“No!” She exclaimed, her eyes widening with panic, “Please, no. I don’t want the authorities to get involved. I don’t want the public to find out. God, my image would be-”

“Ji-eun ah, this is not the time to worry about your image. I’m more concerned about your health, and about locking up that sadistic bastard Kyuhyun.”

She flinched at the mention of his name, “No, Oppa, please. I know what he did was wrong, but I think he’s sick. I think he just needs help. Maybe if-”

“Ji eun ah, don’t try to defend him!” My heart clenched painfully when I realized just how caring and loving Ji eun is, “What he did was wrong, and you need to just stay away from him. Okay?” I hugged her, “I promise I will protect you. I will do anything to keep you safe.”

“Do you really mean it oppa?”

“Of course. When have I ever lied to you? You know how much I care about you. How much I lo-” I closed my eyes and exhaled sharply, “Just know that I will always be there for you.”

“No, what were you going to say, oppa?” She pulled away from me, “I just told you my biggest secret, so you can’t be keeping any secrets from me.”

I could feel my resolve slipping away, but I couldn’t tell her. Not now; not like this. So, I smiled and buried my feelings for her, like I always do, and told her to forget about it.  

“It’s nothing really. But more importantly,” I hesitated, “where are we supposed to go from here?”