“It’s a good thing you love her~!” said Kim Kibum, Jong’s friend more affectionately known as Key. This was the first thing I ever heard him say, but I knew then that I would never forget it.

            He’d just only walked through the door when he’d said it; after looking around our undeniably messy apartment, “Key” shook his head in what seemed like disapproval.

            “Honey, this is Key. Key, this is—”

            “Honey?” he smirked, reaching his hand out to shake mine.

            “Uh, you can call me Raina.”

            Key repeated my name. “Nice to meet you.”

            “You too—why do you go by Key, if you don’t mind me asking?”

            “I don’t mind.”

            I waited for him to answer, but instead he walked away and followed Jonghyun into the unpacked living room. By instinct, I couldn’t help but stand there, slightly aloof, awaiting a decent reply. This guy was something else; I was starting to understand Jong’s enigmatic description of him.

            “How long have you lived here?” I overheard him asking.

            “We got the keys on Tuesday.”

            “Oh,” he said, a slight nod, followed by a very immediate: “What’s for dinner?”

            Dinner? Why hadn’t we thought of that? I mean, we’d ordered a pizza, but I hadn’t even thought about making anything. Wait—of course not. Why would we? We just moved into this place! This guy was starting get on my nerves a little, but I didn’t know why.

            “Pepperoni okay?” I yelled out after them, watching Key’s face shift in disappointment.

            Key and Jong seemed to exchange a secret language all of a sudden, and they let out a mysteriously timed, synchronized laugh. Where was this coming from? I had never seen that expression on my friend’s face before.

            “Um… pepperoni is funny?” I tried, wanting to be in on it.

            “No, it’s just,” Jong giggled, “well, it’s a long story. An inside joke.”

            I pursed my lips into a small pout, but decided to let them have their weird male moment. “Er… okay. Well, there’s beer in the fridge—I don’t know what you like to drink, Key.”

            “Me? Water’s fine. I’ll help you get it though.”

            “That’s okay,” I said, and it was at that very moment that we kind of crashed into each other—he was coming toward me right as I turned around, unaware of our close proximity.

            The collision hurt more than I let on, and I blushed a little as he rubbed his shoulder. I’d never seen such a frail-looking guy. It was strangely attractive, in a weird way; I mean, he was effeminate but masculine looking at the same time. Androgynous? This was the perfect way to describe my first impression of Kim Kibum. It wasn’t that he was overly feminine; short hair, fair complexion, and “normal” boy clothes. But somehow, beneath the brim of his cap which failed to hide his almond-shaped eyes, the designer jeans that hugged his thighs with fashionable accuracy, or even the scarf and jacket that somewhat swallowed his small frame, I found myself drawn to him. His soft features, high cheekbones, and perfect jawline seemed unwarrantably cruel to judge against my own, and so it was that his prettiness both disturbed and intrigued me—how was it that a man could be so pretty? Prettier than me? This was my fear. I wondered then if Jonghyun thought this to be true—but Jong wasn’t gay, so the question seemed entirely irrelevant. Besides, Jonghyun was also a mix of strange effeminate masculinity; or was it masculine femininity? Either way, I always liked this about my Jong. With his soft features he was very beautiful, but still manly all the same. He preferred to be considered the latter of the two, and I was aware of a time he had been teased for his rather small build (far before he had taken the effort to bulk up some), so I rarely commented on his prettiness, for his sake. 

            “Mianhe,” I managed to say, even as the contact left me somewhat speechless. Something about Key made me uncomfortable from the very second he walked into the door, and the moment our bodies touched I felt a shock run down my spine. Why? It made little sense. Even if he’d been into girls, I was happily engaged. Off the market. Not interested in other guys. There was clearly no reason to be so responsive to something so small and insignificant.

            “Are you all right?” he asked all the same, still rubbing his shoulder. 

           “Um… yeah, I’m fine. You?”

            He said something back—something, but I have no idea what. Even to this day, I don’t know. My ears completely stopped working once I saw him break into that bright, charismatic grin. My heart seized. All reasonable functioning quit on me. I was mesmerized by the graceful parting of his small, soft lips, the shimmering whiteness of his perfect teeth, the way his smile pushed his cheeks up, causing his eyes to “smile” all their own... 

            Woh... what the heck? This guy isn’t good for me to be around, I tell myself, even though I wasn’t listening. 

            “What’s the matter, Squishy?” I hear Jonghyun call out. Jong—the supposed love of my life. I mean, as my husband-to-be this was only right. Right?

            “Eh? Nothing, nothing,” I answer him, obviously flustered. It was so wrong. So wrong...

            “ ‘Squishy’?” Key laughed. I could hear him laughing as I retreated into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. “If I were you, I’d call her Messy, judging by the state of things…”

            “Hey—I heard that!”

            I could see Key shrugging through the doorway, wholly unaffected by my words.

            “Well, we just moved in. Can’t be too hard on her; I’m sure she’ll make a great housewife—someday.”

            “What the heck? Are you ganging up on me?” I chuckled. “I already told you, I’m going to get a job. A real one. One that doesn’t consist of babying you all the time.”

            “Oh? I like her, Jonghyunnie. She’s got attitude.”

            Jonghyunnie? The nickname took me by surprise. He’d always implied they were close friends, but how close could the really be if it took me nearly five years to meet him? They didn’t hang out often, and Jong rarely spoke of him. But watching them together now, they seemed very close and comfortable.

            “Pfft. You would like someone with attitude, Bummie.”   

            Bummie…? I cocked my head to one side, amazed. Who were these people? Who was this guy I was set to marry? I suddenly had no idea. Which is exactly why I continued to watch them, intrigued, as we ate the poor excuse for a dinner out of the cardboard box it came in (dishes were one of the many things that remained unpacked).            

            “So… what’s a best man supposed to do, exactly?” Key eventually asked, sometime well into the evening. He seemed genuinely concerned about what was expected of him, and to be honest, neither one of us had really put any effort into figuring these sorts of details out.

            Jong scratched the back of his neck. “I don’t really know,” he laughed, awkwardly.

            “And I imagine you don’t either?” Key asked me directly.          

            Even though he was right, I didn’t really want to admit it, if for pride’s sake alone. “Well, you’ll have to hold our rings at the Western ceremony. I know that much.”

            “Fine. I’m good with jewelry. Next?”

            “I think you’re supposed to give us a toast.”

            “Easy. I’m good at performing. Next?”

            “You’ll have to look nice in all our pictures.” I smiled at him, God knows why, and he exchanged my smile with a cocky, know-it-all smirk.

            “Fashion is no problem for me either.”

            “Aren’t you supposed to throw me a nice party?” Jong teased.

            “Oh? You want guys or girls this time?”

            This was something I could not overlook. Not in the slightest—especially after I saw Jonghyun’s facial expression fall into a humiliating shade.

            “What the hell did you guys do in high school exactly…?” I blurted out, more out of curiosity than anything.  

            But they both fell silent then, which only made me all the more curious, and as soon as Jong replied, “Nothing, really,” I knew he was hiding something, and resigned to ask him about it later when we were alone.

            “Well, keep me posted,” Key said. “And I’ll plan you a perfect party, whatever you like.”

            “Nothing too disgusting, please,” I say, and as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I saw Key winking at me, as if to say he understood. However, I was so hung up on that small little gesture that I’d forgotten about the reason he’d given it all together.

            “But you should really set a date soon, ne?”

            I was still fixated on the wink. Why does something so simple seem so… nice? Charming? No way—I’m being silly!

            In the end, I argued with myself long enough to miss out on the rest of the conversation, and before long, Key said, “It’s time for me to be going now. It was nice to meet you Raina. Good to see you, Jongie.”

            Jongie? Their intimate names kept coming. I watched them hug goodbye. Something about these two seemed a little different, but I didn’t mind necessarily. It wasn’t jealousy I was feeling, but something else. Something I was having difficulty defining, and could not bring myself to express into words.