My name is Han Soomin, but my friends on school always called me the quite nerd. I’m 17 years old, senior year in high school. Quite, like being lonely, love to smile but always worried inside. They said, I’m quite smart and some of my friends said I’m beautiful without my glasses (I used contact lens once when I broke my glasses accidently, but it’s really uncomfortable with that contact lens). Yes, I wear glasses but not like the other nerd use the big frame, I use the small one. They said I’m kind and love helped other people. There’s a queenkas gang in my school called Miss A. Miss A not just queenkas from senior year but there’s our junior too. Fei the leader is my friend in elementary school until now of course, and there’s Jia she’s my best friend since elementary school too, and there’s Min my so kind neighbor and she’s my friend since junior high school (yes, she’s move here since junior high school), and the last member is Suzy she’s my lovely cousin, I’m older one year than her. You know, the queenkas isn’t always love bullied the nerd some of them was really kind like my best friends. Some of my friends in school asked me like ‘Why you didn’t joined with the queenkas?’ I just said ‘Not really interesting, I just happy become their friend.’ That’s the truth though.

            I know, you want to know about the kingkas right? Yes, there’s kingkas gang in my school. We called them Infinite. They are kind too, not just to me but to all of the student and teacher. But sometimes they can be like pass the class and didn’t do their homework. I can said they’re just too lazy. Infinite has 7 members. The leader, Kim Sunggyu. He is the kindest for me, and he is smart too. He is Suzy ex-boyfriend but even they broke up, they’re still friend (No! Best friend. J). The second one is Jang Dongwoo. He is the cheerful person I ever met, he is kind and love to make jokes with Sungyeol, he is Jia’s boyfriend. The third member is Nam Woohyun. He is the greasy one, he loves flirting with girls but he has the warm heart and kind, he is in the same class as me. And he is Min’s boyfriend. The next member is Lee Howon but we called him Hoya. He is a little bit mysterious, sometimes he can be so cold sometimes he can be so kind. But he is really kind to me, bold it. Kind to me. Next is Lee Sungyeol. He is the choding one because sometimes he acted like a kids, and he like make jokes with Dongwoo, and he is my childhood best friend. But he is the smartest in Infinite, he is in the same class as me and Woohyun. Next member a little bit mysterious, he is the mysterious one beside Hoya. His name is Kim Myungsoo but we called him L, he is our junior, he is 2^nd grade and in the same class as Suzy. Last is Lee Sungjong, the diva boy. I called him diva because he is really pretty. He is our junior too, he is very kind and love to smile. They always treat me like I’m part of the queenkas, very kind.

            Okay, back to me. What? You asked me I have a crush or not? Of course I have! Yes, one of the Infinite’s member. I’ll tell you. I have a crush with someone I called ‘the one who really kind to me’. Oh, you know it? Yes, he is the one. Yeah, Lee Howon or Hoya. You know, every time I with him I felt my heart beating faster like when you were done with marathon. I tell Jia about my condition ( She said she want to be a doctor so I asked her). And she said I’m in love with him, because she said she has the same problem when she saw Jang Dongwoo. And here I am now, fall in love with him, Hoya. I still didn’t know what to do with this feeling. What? Of course I tell Sungyeol, he’s my childhood best friend though. And of course he promise to me he won’t say to the other beside Jia.

            Oh! I forgot! I am a claustrophobia. Do you know what is that? No? I’ll tell you. Claustrophobia is a phobia to be on small room without window or light, you know like lift or small room like small warehouse. How can I got this phobia? I got this since I was 5 years old. It’s like traumatic. I was trapped in the lift with my father and the lift broke down when one of fire fighter try to escape me. And I didn’t what happened next, when I woke up I was in the hospital and few days later I knew that my father died because he try to escaped me. And now, I can’t went in to the lift I just… scared that I can’t get out from there. Every time I went in to the lift or small room without light or window my breathe become hard and I become panic and the scene when my father try to escaped me suddenly appeared just like a movie in my mind and my mind stuck and if I can’t escaped I fainted. It happened few times. Who knows about this? Just me and my mother. And that’s the reason why my house have so many windows and my mom didn’t make small room. Every room in my house totally big and have few windows and bright light. If you came to my room, you can saw it’s big enough for myself and there was so many windows and totally bright light when night come. Yes. I can’t sleep without lights. If I have to sleep without light, I will sleep first when my room partner sleep. But sometimes when the light suddenly off, my breathe become weak, my body become cold and shaking, and I got cold sweat.

            Okay, that’s about me. And this is my story.

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