=♥Eunjae♥=

It’s been two weeks since me and my Umma arrived here in States. We stayed at my Auntie’s apartment where we will be staying for the next four months. Those four months will take cover of the process I’ll undergo. For the first two months, there will be various tests and therapy that I should take to prepare myself for the operation. And the last two months would be intended for my recuperation.

It’s been also a week when I got trapped inside this dungeon-like hospital room. I have no other choice but to follow what the doctor said since my health and life is at stake here. I should’ve been staying outside until the end of the month but there was one time that I collapsed because of the severe headache I was experiencing inside my head. I guess being away from Donghae wouldn’t do me any better. After stepping off the plane, I thought that I could be strong facing the consequences of my decision to take the operation. But when I realized that Donghae will not be beside me when that day comes, I felt weak and alone. I knew I still have Umma who never left me but she couldn’t take the place of Donghae’s presence. He could always manage to take the uneasiness and fear I felt inside me and no one was able to do that other than him. As days passed, I found myself being alone, depressed and sometimes crying inside my room with my thoughts drifting back to Korea where Donghae was. The pressure of being away from him made me weary until the tumor inside my brain responded negatively to my emotions. I fainted and woke up inside a hospital room. The doctor advised me to stay inside the hospital from that day on so they could monitor my health and start the observation if my system would really be able to take the operation.

I was sitting in my bed, staring blankly outside the hospital window. This was my usual activity since I was staying inside a hospital and couldn’t do anything that could cheer me up a bit. Though I wanted to take a break from the anxiety I was feeling, I couldn’t control my thoughts because I was undoubtedly missing Donghae. I became used to being with him after the day I knew that my condition was getting better. But now that I couldn’t see him, emptiness had taken over me.

Three knocks on the door pulled me from my reverie. It was then I realized that calm tears were again streaming down my cheeks. I wiped my tears away before the one responsible for waking me up from my trance could see them.

I took in a deep breath to take courage in uttering a word. “Come in.”

My mother came in with my doctor. I guessed they’ll tell me something about my condition since they’ve got serious looks plastered on their faces. Umma sat on the edge of the bed at my left side and took my left hand in her own hands. A worried smile formed from her lips, making me to think of the worst that was about to come. They exchanged glances and turned their eyes back to me.

“Eunjae … We’ve got news for you but we’ll let you decide if you prefer to take the bad news or the good news first,” Dr.Shin mumbled.

I shifted my eyes to Umma and Dr.Shin. “I think… I’ll have the bad news first.” I swallowed the lump in my throat as I said those words unsurely.

Dr.Shin heaved a sigh and stared down on the paperwork he was holding. Flipping the pages as he went through it for a few seconds, he stared up at me. “Eunjae,” he started and I was thinking that he was hesitating to go on. “…your conditioned has worsened. These past days of observation showed that the cause for the abrupt headache that made you faint last week was that the tumor was developing inside your brain fast. I’m sorry to tell this but the operation might