Author's Pet

Title: 5/5

Great job on the full marks! It was eye catching, and it was punctuated correctly. When I searched your story, it was the first one to pop up. Good job! Normally, I'm very strict with the titles, and I usually dock at least one point, but yours is unique and eye catching, that I have no choice but to give it full marks. 

Appearance: 15/15

Honestly, I loved your appearance. Mostly, fluffy fanfictions include colors like red, green, blue, etc.. However, they don't look fluffy. Your appearance, however, screams out fluffy. It was a light pink color, with a bit of red orange here and there. Kudos to whoever planned out your appearance. 

Characterization: 9/10

Surprised? I hope. The way you execute your characters is very good, and I understood them perfectly. Jonghyun was the lazy writer who sold thousands of copies of his books. Key was the cute and innocent one, yet he had a curious personality. Taemin was the energetic, childish and cute one. I only have one problem with Onew.

You see, I don'tunderstand his character at all. You barely mentioned him, and he had only like two scenes. Honestly, I only remembered the scene where Joon was teasing Onew. Though, I only remembered Joon. Onew's character is not that well developed to me yet, and you could add more scenes with him or describe him more. However, your fanfiction is still ongoing, so you might've already planned this out. 

Foreword: 18/20

Don't get me wrong, your description was great. It summarized the whole story without giving out the main plot, and makes the reader curious. Your foreword was well executed, and I was happy that there was no author's note there.

However,

You added pictures of Key that weren't necessary. Also, your author's note/warning was in the description instead of the foreword. A description is a place where you put the summary, not your notes. The author's note should be in the foreword, or there should be none at all. 

Storyline/Plot: 24/25

Truthfully, I have only seen ONE fanfiction like this. I won't tell the title of the story, to protecet the author. Other than that, your storyline and plot was great. It was very unique and original, and I enjoyed seeing half-humans in the plot. It was original, and I loved it. 

Writing Skill/Technique: 24/25

But not a normal one. 

Correct: However, not a normal one.

But something is different with the animals.

Correct: Although, something is different with the animals.

And sure enough Jonghyun knew already what thoughts were crossing the kitty's mind.

Correct: Sure enough, Jonghyun knew already what thoughts were crossing the kitty’s mind.

But he managed to leave early and just when he was ready to head home, he was called and told to go to his office because a secretary was hired for him.

Correct: Though he managed to leave early and just when he was ready to head home, he was called and told to go to his office because a secretary was hired for him.

You can’t start a sentence with a conjunction. A conjunction connects words, phrases and clauses. It doesn’t start a sentence.

''Say…what’s the real reason you was hired?'' 

Correct: “Say, what’s the real reason you were hired?”

''Ugh…I told them that I’ll try writing it when my motivation get back!''

Correct: “Ugh, I told them I’ll try writing it when my motivation gets back!”

And Jonghyun just wanted to shot himself because of it.

Correct: And, Jonghyun just wanted to shoot himself because of it. 

It was moslty because of how you misused the conjunctions, but other than that, your grammar, punctuation and spelling fine. I also like how you wrote your story, it was very descriptive and I could imagine Key's puppy like eyes so clearly it scared me for a bit. Good job!

>> Total: 95/100

-- Reviewer: Ram

7th of Sep, 2012 --