I slept peacefully. I didn't have a nightmare. It was probably because I slept with Young Hae. After a while I felt something press against my cheek. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Young Hae kissing my cheek.

"Appa? Your awake? Did I wake you up?" 

I shook my head. "Aniyo." 

Young Hae gave me a hug.

"Appa, When am I going to school?"

"Next month. Be patient my little Hae." 

She nodded. "Arraso."

I kissed Young Hae's forehead. "Go get changed and come down to the kitchen. I'll make you some breakfast. Arraso?"

She nodded her head. 

She walked out of the bedroom and strait to her room which was once the storage room and also the place where I kissed Christine for the first time and then Minwoo caught us. I chuckled. "That pabo Minwoo" I thought to myself. 

Speaking of Minwoo nothing has changed with him. He broke up with his girlfriend because he found out that she had with another man. Sometimes, I still feel sorry for the poor guy. But he seems to be doing just fine now. Also, Jeongmin is still the same flirty guy he is. He's still trying to pick up girls with his so called "CHARM". Hyunseong finally found his soul mate. Well that's what he tells me. He's always been known as the least popular member but I guess someone chose him for the kind guy he is, not what's based on his looks. Donghyun got married with hyorin from Sistar. Surprisingly they were secretly, madly in love with each other. And lastly my brother Kwangmin. He is still living happily with Chizuru. With their two twin girls Kyoungmi and Kyunghi. The twins are now five years old and Chizuru is pregnant with another baby on the way. I wanted to be exactly how Kwangmin and Chizuru are right now. Fruitful, and creating a big family but ................. its no longer possible anymore. Now that Christine is gone I feel so............ alone. Well, as for Boyfriend........... We are still a idol group but we have been taking a long break for 5 months now. Too much has been going on but we promised our fans that we would be back on stage again once were ready to take on our idol lives. Minwoo, Jeaongmin, and Hyunseong still work on some solos but as for the rest of us, fate got to the best of us.

I walked downstairs and started making breakfast. Animal shaped chocolate chip pancakes. It was Christine's favorite. Young Hae really likes it to. I got a glass of orange juice and set it on the dining room table. 

When I was cleaning all the things i used to make the pancakes and spotted a butcher knife for cutting meat. It was really attracting me. I felt like picking it up................ Maybe even cutting my neck with it to. Yea. I really feel like doing that. I slowly picked up the knife and placed it in front of my neck.

"YOUNGMIN STOP IT!!!" Kwangmin ran up to me and took the knife out of my hands. 

Kwangmin's POV:

I walked downstairs and spotted my hyung placing a knife in front of his neck.

"YOUNGMIN STOP IT!!!" I yelled. I ran up to him and pulled the knife out of his hands. 

This isn't the first time I've caught him trying to commit suicide. Ever since Christine died he's been suicidal many times. Sometimes he just loses his mind and decides to do these kinds of things. Almost every night he's been having nightmares, but every time when he sleeps with Young Hae, he no longer has the nightmares. Once in a while he cries in the bathroom as well thinking no one ever hears him but we all do. I hate to see my own twin do this to himself. I can't bare to see this anymore. This has to stop.

Youngmin's POV:

I snapped out of my trance once Kwangmin took the knife out of my hand. I was being suicidal again.

"This has to stop." Kwangmin sighed. 

I was about to speak until Kwangmin spoke again.

"Youngmin. I care very much about you. Your my twin brother for crying out loud! I love you. But you need help." Kwangmin hugged me.

"Hyung. I hope you'll feel better soon." and with that being said, he walked away. 

"I-I need help." I mumbled to myself. 

help.

HELP.

Christine used to help me all the time. Not only me but everyone! If we ever had a problem or needed to finish something. She was there.

A few seconds later Young Hae walked into the kitchen. I'm smiling again. I like smiling. Smiling is good. Very good. 

"Appa, did you make breakfast?" 

I nodded. "Yes my little Hae!" I brought the plate of pancakes to the dining room table and Young Hae sat down. 

"Woa!! Tabakk!" Said Young Hae.

"Eat up!" I said as I kissed Young Hae's cheek. 

She smiled brightly and nodded. I sat next to her and ate some pancakes as well. I the small television we had in the kitchen and changed the channel. I put on Porroro. Young Hae's favorite cartoon. I enjoyed watching it with her. makes me feel like I was a kid again. Young Hae started to laugh. Porroro just slipped on ice. I laughed to. I wonder what it would be like if Christine was watching porroro with us too.