–

“Yah, how to do this, Kwangmin?” Yoora said confusedly. She looked again at the math operation in front of her. For the nth time, she flipped her book pages. “Ah… this one?” Kwangmin asked why pointing on the equation. Yoora nodded.

They were studying Math together because Yoora had to leave school for recovery process. “Uhm.. I’m not sure… Let me do it first.” he said to Yoora.

“Ah, I hope Youngmin Oppa were here to teach me. You are not as smart as him in Math.” Yoora said. Again, this made Kwangmin stoned. “Kwangmin, why he took so long to recover? It has been a month. Why don’t he call me once? He only sends me letters and flowers through you. I miss him so bad.”

“… He- he doesn’t want to meet you if he hasn’t fully recovered…” Kwangmin lied. “Let me solve this first, okay?” Kwangmin tried to change the topic.

All of the letters and flowers that given to Yoora was actually from Kwangmin. But he said it was from Youngmin. ‘This is the way I take care of her, Hyung. Please forgive me.’ he said in his heart.

On the other hand, Yoora was extremely curious. Why Youngmin hadn’t called her? Didn’t he miss her? Kwangmin also didn’t want to tell her the hospital where Youngmin stayed. However, she saw Kwangmin more than just a friend. Bit by bit, why she felt a warmer affection from Kwangmin more than Youngmin? Was it because Kwangmin was the one who stayed by her side?

—

Yoora was waiting for Kwangmin. Kwangmin promised to teach her English. When her door was knocked, she quickly went to open the door. What she saw there, was a blond haired guy with his back turned to Yoora, which looked like…

“Oppa!” she hugged that blonde guy.

“Youngmin Oppa… why do you leave me so long…?” she asked. Tears started forming. Youngmin didn’t answer. “Oppa! Answer me,” she said with a husky voice. She grabbed his shoulders and turned him around.

“O-” she was shocked by seeing the face in front of her. Yes, it looked like Youngmin, but she knew it wasn’t Youngmin’s face. This guy, was not Youngmin that she missed.

“K-kwangmin?” she released his shoulders from her grab.

His sharp jawline, his big eyes. Yoora was sure the guy in front of her was Kwangmin. But why he dyed his hair?

“Yoora…”, he said. Yes, this voice, it was Kwangmin’s. ” Mianhae. I- I’m Kwangmin.”

“W-what are you doing?” she asked, a bit angry. Maybe Kwangmin didn’t have an intention to fool her, yet she felt a sensation of pain inside her. Why? Why he had to dyed his hair, with the same hair color like Youngmin’s?

“Y-yoora…”

“Do you want to see my reaction? Do you want to try how it feels to fool a girl who miss her boyfriend?” Yoora asked with a hurted expression. Tears rolled down on her cheeks, but she didn’t care.

Right before Yoora slammed the door in front of Kwangmin, Kwangmin grabbed her hand.

“Yoora, listen to me,”

“No, let me go… Don’t fool me with that blond hair. I hate you! I hate-” Kwangmin already hugged her, letting her cry in his embrace.

“I don’t want to fool you. No. I do this because I want to have his presence with me. I want to be closer to him, so whenever I see my own reflection, I can see him. I want you and people around me realize that Youngmin hyung is always with us.” Kwangmin explained while holding his tears. Deep inside his heart, he missed his Hyung.

Yoora looked at him, closely, deeply. “But I miss him!” then she burst in tears, letting her tears running. Kwangmin hugged Yoora tightly, feeling the same thing. It made her tears wiped by Kwangmin’s shirt in his hug. ‘If only you loved me…, you wouldn’t have to suffer right now,’ his mind said, while looking at Yoora’s smooth hair.

He could smell her sweet scent. No, he wouldn’t let Yoora go. He would take care of her, just like what Youngmin had asked. He would do it in his way. He would love her, no… he had always loved her since the start. He chose to let her go for Youngmin.

Yoora broke the hug. Feeling Kwangmin’s intense stare, she could felt her face was warm. She blushed, and she didn’t know why. Was this mean, she started to love Kwangmin? No, she couldn’t do that. She would betray Youngmin. She would hurt him. She couldn’t do this.

She left Kwangmin without saying anything. She ran to her room. Kwangmin, in other side, could only saw her back which was moving away from him. “I will take care of her, hyung. I will,” he whispered.

Upstairs, Yoora recalled what Kwangmin had said to her.

“I do this because I want to have his presence with me. I want to be closer to him, so whenever I see my own reflection, I can see him. I want you and people around me realize that Youngmin hyung is always with us.” 

“There’s something weird about his words. It doesn’t seem right,” she said, telling herself. She felt it, there was something blurred, something that Kwangmin was hiding by saying that. Youngmin was clearly still with them. This made her curious. How far Youngmin was hiding?

–

“Kwangmin, give it to Youngmin oppa, okay?” Yoora asked with a smile. Kwangmin nodded without expression. ‘He always like that when I give him my letter.’ Yoora thought. Kwangmin thought this was another usual letter, but actually it wasn’t. Yoora had a plan this time.

After he said goodbye to Yoora, Kwangmin didn’t go home. Yoora, followed him secretly. Right, she wanted to know where Youngmin was. She believed Kwangmin would go to give Youngmin her letter. She followed him quietly, hoping she wouldn’t make any noise.

First, Kwangmin went to a florist shop. Yoora stopped two buildings before the florist. She saw Kwangmin’s back figure, which looked like Youngmin’s with that blond hair. Really calm, talking to the shopkeeper, asking white Lilies. Yoora saw the flower. Lily, white Lily. The flower that Youngmin gave to her at their first date, saying that Youngmin liked this flower very much.

She was right, Kwangmin would see Youngmin, that was why he bought those flowers. A smile was plastered on Yoora’s face, knowing she would meet Youngmin after a long time.

Kwangmin went out from the florist. He suddenly felt someone was following him. He looked around. Seeing that, Yoora hid behind a wall. Kwangmin found no one, so he continued to walk.

Realizing the situation had been safe, Yoora looked at Kwangmin. She could see Kwangmin’s back when he was walking away. Yoora followed him, trying not to be too close, yet not losing him.

Kwangmin took a bus. Yoora, however, was afraid if she got to that bus, Kwangmin would found out about her plan. She didn’t know what to do until she saw Kwangmin got into the bus. That bus, number 35, left immediately. Yoora, almost losing her mind, spotted a taxi.

“Taxi!” She waved her hand. The taxi stopped and Yoora got in. “Ajussi, please follow that bus.” She didn’t care how far the bus would go. She had to follow Kwangmin. She knew he was going to meet Youngmin.

The taxi followed the bus for a long time. The bus had stopped in several stops, but Kwangmin hadn’t get off from it. Until finally, when the bus reached the stop in a suburbs area, Kwangmin got off.

“Ajussi, stop!” said Yoora to the driver. “Here is the money, please keep the change.” she said. She waited for a while until Kwangmin walked from the bus stop, then she followed him walking.

He turned at a gate into a hill. Yoora kept following him, even though she doubted more and more about Kwangmin’s destination. Did he really go to meet Youngmin? Why did he go there?

—

to be continued…