Once I know I was away from him, very far from school, I spotted a bench and sat on it. The next and last thing I wanted to do was to cry but there I was bawling my eyes out not caring about the onlookers who are probably judging me right now.

This time, it took longer than usual to get home and a much longer time to get to sleep.

The next day, I woke up with puffy eyes. I think I cried too much last night night thinking of the whole situation. I felt guilty for just leaving him there but then again, I gave him what he wanted. Time. And a lot of it. I gave him the chance to explain himself. Don’t call me rude, I’m just as affected as he was, or even more broken.

All thoughts aside, I decided to head for the shower. I looked like a complete mess when I looked at myself in the mirror. A complete mess the whole thing was.

I didn’t want to bump into anyone so I left for school early and just bury my head on my bag while waiting for school to start. This time, I was the first to reach class and am so thankful for that. The whole late night thinking and puffy eyes made me feel sleepy and before I know it I fell asleep.

“Noona. Noona.” I felt someone poking me. Oh great, if he doesn’t stop, I’m going to snap at him.

I turned to my right to glare at the person and it was none other than Zelo.

“Omo! Noona! What happened to you?” Oh great, that was damn soft Zelo. You don’t even need a microphone when standing on stage in the auditorium. Before you know it, all eyes were on me. Oh great. Today’s not going to be any better.

I turned back to face the window since I was sitting on the inner side of the two-desk seating arrangement, right next to the window.

“I’m sorry noona. I didn’t mean to but what happened?” This time, more like a whisper.

“What do you want to know?” I guess that question caught him off-guard as he wasn’t expecting a word, what more a question from me.

“Why… That?” He pointed at my puffy eyes.

“I thought you and your hyung tell each other stuffs. Didn’t your hyung tell you since you told him about me?”

“Ah that…”

“Don’t ah that me. And you acting all surprised seeing me here when you first came here. What was that all about?”

“What do you guys want from me? What happened last year, I got it okay. Is it not enough that I’ve been suffering alone the entire year ever since the incident happened? You guys really have no mercy on me, just leave me hanging here with nothing to rely on. Nothing. Your hyung didn’t even come and find me. What gave you the right to suddenly ask about me? And your hyung suddenly appearing out of nowhere? Gosh, you guys are funny people. Thought I could rely on one of you since we got closer but guess not. But who was I kidding? Even such little expectation could disappoint a person so greatly. This world is really a cruel place to live in huh?”

Zelo was definitely taken aback by my sudden confrontation. I guess I talked too much for someone who has been keeping quiet for so long already. I couldn’t take it anymore and just rant it out at him. Why him? At least he knows of something rather than other people who don’t even know the truth and basically just twisted the whole truth.

I sighed and left the class for the toilet because I know, my hair’s all messy and my face, please don’t even start. I hope I got the message across to him because I really can’t take it anymore, especially crying the whole night, thinking about what happened the past year. I’ve missed out on a lot being depressed, shutting myself from everybody. I too want to be happy. This whole thing is affecting me greatly and I want to find my happiness back.

Once at the toilet, I headed to one of the sinks and splashed my face with water many times. I guess it’s time to face reality and get over it soon. While thinking and thinking, I thought of what I saw last year that made me what I am today.

Flashback

“Younha! You going tonight?” Jiyeon asked me.

“Nah. I’ve got assignments due soon and I’m not even halfway through. I guess I’d be up all night trying to get this done. Furthermore, I’m going on a date with Daehyun oppa tomorrow. So might as well sacrifice today for tomorrow.” I totally didn’t notice the smug expression on Jiyeon’s face when I mentioned about the date tomorrow.

“Ohh… But I’d be alone later! Or should I not go?”

“No silly. I know how badly you want to go to this party. You’ve been talking about it the whole week. And you have many other friends than me. The B.A.P oppas will be there too. I’ll remind them to take care of you, just in case you know.”

“Okay Younha! Thanks! Then I better hurry home to prepare for the party!” She squealed excitedly.

“Take care!” I hugged her.

~

All these assignments are making me feel so tired. I should have known and started early or at least get one done. I looked at the clock and was shocked to see that it’s close to 2 in the morning. Thinking that I’ve done enough, I decided to stop. At least I know more than half are done.  I took out my phone to text Daehyun oppa, wondering what he was doing at the party.

You must be wondering which girlfriend must have been crazy enough to let her boyfriend go to a party without her but it just so happened that way. He wanted to hang out tonight and I told him I have tons of assignments to do. He offered to accompany me but I told him that he’d get bored watching me do my assignments that I won’t be able to entertain him. Finally, giving in, he decided to just go ahead to the party with the other oppas.

‘Hi oppa. What are you doing now without me? – Younha <3’

I waited for several minutes and no reply. Hmm… He must have been having so much fun. I decided to head to bed.

~

Someone clearly didn’t want me to have the sleep that I deserved when I felt my phone vibrating non-stop. I took it hoping to see Daehyun’s name on it but oddly, it was Jiyeon. Without hesitating, I picked up the call. I waited for the person, which was not Jiyeon, to speak and I quickly got off my bed slipped on my sweater and out the house.

I cannot believe what I just heard. Is that some kind of joke? I knew I had to trust both Jiyeon and Daehyun but then if you’re at a party, anything can happen. Anything bad can happen. I quickly made my way to the location which wasn’t far from my house.

The moment I reached the mansion, I barged in without having to greet or whatever and looked for the person who called. I spotted the B.A.P oppas and I saw shocked written all over their faces. After several minutes, I went upstairs, I searched everywhere for them and when I opened the door to one of the rooms, I literally broke down, thinking where I could have gone wrong in this relationship.

There on the bed, both bodies , the girl on top of the guy. Jiyeon turned to look at me, shocked. She quickly took the blanket to cover their bodies before facing me.

“I…”

“You’re a ing . A ing . A ing . That’s what you are.”

When I turned around to leave, I saw the B.A.P oppas looking at me, guilty and shocked too.

"Younha!" I could hear Youngjae's voice calling out to me.

~

When I came back to class, I didn’t see Zelo in his seat. Was he reflecting? Hah! I don’t think so.

A few seconds later, Zelo came in with his hands in his pocket.

“Noona,” he took out his hands from his pocket and placed a candy, attached to it was a small note, on my desk.

I looked at him, questioningly.

“Don’t ask. Just… Just read it and that’s for you. I’m sorry.”

Please give me a chance one more time. I didn’t mean to cause you all the misery.
Please meet me at the park, the one that we used to go to together.
I’ll wait till you appear right before me.

- D.

“Noona, please go.”

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

There's a bit of vulgarities thrown but not so much that's why I didn't rate it as M. Sorry you underaged people. Heh.

Anyway, it's about to end. So thank you guys.

And have you guys watched their Crash performance? I cannot I cannot! They're too adorable! And Daehyun, I love it when his hair is down. I can't get over their performance. Kept on replaying. I thank whoever who uploaded their performance.

the_sphinx: Hahaha. yeah! We can! I'm sure I'm not the only here who's in love with him. Heh. haha. It's okay to guess. (: