“What are you doing?” Luhan asked, sitting on the couch beside Yixing. He was hyper-focused - a rarity - on his laptop screen and reading something in Korean. Luhan narrowed his eyes a bit and leaned forward.

“Kris reads this book when he’s sad.” Lay said, his eyes traveling over the page. “It’s really weird. And some guy just got stabbed.”

“Stabbed? Is the book about killing people?” Luhan asked, and Lay shook his head.

“No..I don’t think so. I’m just not sure what it is about.” Lay sighed, slumping back. “I don’t really get it.”

“Email it to me. I’ll read it too.” Luhan said, smiling a bit. Lay nodded and switched tabs, sending Luhan the link through facebook instead and then leaning on the other.

“Kris has a facebook.” Lay said suddenly. “I looked it up, the week he got here. I sent him a friend request. He never accepted it.”

“Maybe because he had just met you.” Luhan said, opening the app on his phone and looking vaguely confused for a moment. “How did you type his name?”

“It’s in English. Kris Wu.” Lay explained, leaning over and switching Luhan’s keyboard before typing it for him and pulling up a profile with a grainy old picture of Kris. Luhan smiled, hitting the request button.

“He’ll add me, and you, and everyone else.” Luhan said confidently.

“I don’t know...” Lay said, sighing. “Sometimes I think he’ll keep certain distances forever.”

“Like what?”

Lay’s head snapped up, and he saw Kris standing in the doorway, looking like he’d just stumbled out of bed. He scratched his head sleepily and moved over to the couch, sitting beside Lay and dropping his head on the other’s shoulder.

“I just...I sent you a request on facebook a while back.” Lay explained, and Kris laughed a little.

“I haven’t been on facebook since I moved here.” Kris said, stretching a bit and yawning. “It’s blocked on the school computers.”

“Couldn’t you use the app?” Luhan asked, and Kris blinked at him for a moment.

“I don’t have a cell phone.” He said, kind of surprised Luhan hadn’t noticed. He knew Tao and Sehun didn’t have cell phones either, and he’d always shrugged it off. It was never really important to him. Everyone he wanted to talk to was readily available anyway. Lay seemed tense.

“Here, log in on my laptop.” He said, pushing the laptop into Kris’ lap and pulling out his own phone, his fingers flying over it so fast Kris almost felt dizzy, so he looked away.

It took Kris several minutes to remember his log in information, and by the time he did he realized he had no idea how to switch the keyboard to English, and he reluctantly asked Lay for help. The other laughed and switched it quickly, and Kris logged in to an explosion of messages and notifications.

“I thought you didn’t have any friends.” Luhan said, raising a brow, and Kris shrugged a little bit.

“Just because people add you on facebook doesn’t mean you’re friends.” Kris mumbled, clicking into the friend requests and confirming everyone - from Umma to Chanyeol, literally everyone he cared about in Korea had sent him a request - and then clearing out his notifications. It was mostly people tagging him in stupid chain posts, a handful of people on his old basketball team tagging him in yearbook photo uploads, and a few people asking him to translate things for them. None of that really bothered him at all, but when he clicked into another tagged photo his heart almost stopped. “.”

“Even I know enough English to know you just swore.” Luhan said chidingly. Kris cringed a bit, clicking through the photos and wondering if he could delete them before anyone saw.

“Who’s that?” Lay asked, and Kris closed his eyes.

“Someone I used to know.” Kris said, and Lay leaned in closer, looking at the name and then looking at the messages at the bottom of the screen.

“Well, he’s trying to talk to you.” Lay said, and Kris glanced down with a sigh before logging out.

“He’s not important.” Kris said, handing the laptop back and stretching back over the couch. Lay didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push the subject.

“Umma left money for us to order pizza. Are you hungry?” Lay asked, poking Kris’ stomach, and Kris groaned.

“Starving is a more accurate word.” He said, poking Lay’s side with his toe. Lay yelped and dove into Luhan’s lap to save himself, and Luhan laughed so hard there was little more than a squeak coming out.

“I’ll go order.” Lay said, pouting and heading to the kitchen to get the takeout number. Luhan snickered before looking at Kris, his expression becoming more serious.

“Minseok’s just worried-” Luhan started, and Kris shook his head.

“He’s right. I mean, maybe I’m not the kind of person to shoot up a school or something, but I am temporary.” Kris said, shrugging and sighing a bit. “I’ve always been temporary. It’s okay.”

Luhan closed his mouth and looked down at his lap, his shoulders slumping slightly as he nodded. He swallowed and fiddled with the edge of his shirt for a moment, thinking to himself and going over what he wanted to say before looking up and speaking again.

“We all care about you, you know.” Luhan said. “You’re not just some kid and you’re not the first one to be brought in from somewhere else. Lay was adopted when he was little, and Tao and Sehun are special circumstances...but my parents decided they didn’t want me anymore when I turned 13. I was lucky Sehun’s aunt and uncle adopted me. Lucky Sehun’s parents trusted me to make me his godfather. Unlucky that they all died in a plane crash six months later. But still, we get it. We know what it’s like to be randomly thrown into a new dynamic. Minseok’s parents threw him out when we were 16. Up until then...Sehunnie and I were staying here.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?” Kris asked, not even looking at Luhan.

“Because it’s not fair and it’s stupid.” Luhan said, pouting. “That you spend all your time thinking that you’ll leave and we’ll forget you.”

“Luhan, I’m going to be sixteen in two weeks.” Kris said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t matter if I stay or go at this point. In two years, whatever progress you think I’ll make or life you think I’ll live won’t matter, because I’ll be on my own. And maybe you’ll remember or forget me, it won’t matter. I won’t be here. Even if Umma lets me stay, everything has a time limit. Six months in my record. I’ll never have a family. And maybe I don’t forget anything either, and maybe I’ll think about you guys in a few years when I’m staring down my own empty life and trying to decide if it’s even worth it to keep trying, but Minseok’s right. I’m temporary, and Tao’s better off not getting attached. Isn’t that what I’ve been saying all along?”

“So you never get attached?” Luhan asked, his voice thick. There were tears in Luhan’s eyes, and Kris could feel himself starting to shake. He laughed, looking up at the ceiling instead because he just couldn’t deal with this.

“I get so attached it feels like my skin is being peeled off every time I leave.” Kris said softly. “It hurts more than you could ever imagine, to spend your whole life wanting something so badly. Every time I get a taste of it, I lock onto it so hard it feels like my bones will break from the pressure, and then it hits me, just a little too late, every time, that I shouldn’t have done that. And then I shut down, and they throw me out because I stop progressing or whatever as part of their family. My own caseworkers can’t handle me. They quit all the time. I may not be intentionally hurting people, but like I said. Minseok is right. I’m temporary, and it’ll hurt when I leave. And there’s no doubt at all that I’m going to leave.”

“Ge..” Lay whispered from the doorway, actual tears slipping down his cheeks, and Kris shook his head. “Gege, please-”

“I’m going back to bed. Headache.” He lied, getting up and going back to his room, closing the door tight and slipping into the bed. His chest hurt, even if his head didn’t, and it wasn’t the anxiety. He took slow, shaking breaths and hugged his blanket tight to his chest, trying not to think about everything.

Seeing Henry’s name and face pop up all over his account had been like a punch to the gut. But it had also reminded Kris of why he’d been resisting for so long. He was in so deep with Lay and Umma, and he really, really, didn’t want to leave. Adoption was...way too much to ask for. But he wanted to stay so badly. He didn’t even realize he was shutting down until he woke up to Umma petting his hair at three in the morning. He was too tired to process much, his eyes not really focusing on her as she spoke softly to him, pressing something into his hand.

“Kris.” She said, her tone a little sharper, and he woke up a bit more, his eyes clearing up a bit.

“Huh?” He asked, taking a deep breath to try to wake himself up. She laughed.

“I said try not to break it, okay?” She said, and Kris blinked, his eyebrows coming together.

“Break it?” He echoed, and she tapped the thing in his hand.

“It’s prepaid, like Lay’s. But it’s connected to the house wifi and it can text and make calls.” She said, and Kris blinked, looking over and processing that she had put a phone in his hand. A smart-phone, too. He woke up much more quickly, sitting up and shaking his head.

“No, no, this is too much.” Kris said, trying to push it back to her, and she shook her head.

“No. I think this is just right.” She said back, kissing his head softly and pushing him back down on the bed. “Go back to sleep baby. We’ll talk in the morning, okay?”

“Umma...” Kris said, overtired and overwhelmed as he laid back down, letting her pull the blankets up over him. She laughed softly, petting his hair gently for a minute and watching how quickly he started to fall back to sleep.

“I love you, baby.” She said softly, kissing his head again and standing up to leave. Kris shifted a little, settling in further.

“I love you, too.” He whispered.

Comment, please. :3

This chapter was a lot of fun to write.