Because of You

Hearts Will Never Change

Lila sat in her apartment in silence. It was the weekend, but she didn’t have anything special to do. The end of the year was slowly approaching right before her eyes and she couldn’t believe the year that she went through. First from seeing Sandeul again to getting to know Jinyoung all the way to ending up in the hospital again and losing the very first friend she made upon her return to South Korea. It just all seemed surreal.

            But there was only one prominent thing that was on Lila’s mind and that was Jinyoung. She felt so horrible on the inside because of how bad she hurt him. She figured that it would only be right if Jinyoung never wanted to speak to her or see her, but she couldn’t deny the feelings that she was having. She loved Jinyoung.

            While Lila would admit now that she still had lingering feelings for Sandeul in the beginning, those eventually faded away when she started dating Jinyoung. He became someone that she could trust and it seemed to be the other way around as well. It seemed like Jinyoung really rusted her, but the only thing she did was break that trust through her surge of feelings against.

            It wasn’t like the kiss was intentional and it wasn’t like she even really took notice of what was going on until after the fact, but the fact that it did happen was bothering her. Honestly, she was confused as to what the kiss possibly even meant. Did it mean that deep inside she had feelings for Sandeul that she herself didn’t even know about? Or was it something that was just a momentary type of thing that she couldn’t control? While Lila was sure that she was in love with Jinyoung, who was to say that something like that wouldn’t happen again?

             Lila was sure something like that would never happen again, though. She had already gotten over Sandeul long ago while in America, it was just that coming back stirred emotions in her since she saw him again after years of separation. The question was now how Lila would try to at least become friends with Jinyoung. She was sure that he wouldn’t want anything to do with her. She broke his trust and she understood. Perhaps she was too naïve to actually think that just saying she loved him would be enough to get him back, but it wasn’t a lie either.

            A couple of days passed and Lila hadn’t heard anything from the guys. It wasn’t until her phone rang one morning that she at least heard something about them. “Hello?” Lila asked picking up her phone.

            “This is Lila, correct?”

            “This is she,” Lila said as she tried to figure out who was calling. She figured that maybe it was a wrong number because she didn’t recognize the caller ID. “Is there something you’re looking for?”

            “Is it true that you’re the girl Sandeul and Jinyoung of B1A4 are fighting over?” the woman asked on the other line.

            “Fighting over?” Lila asked in surprise. “Whoever said such a thing?”

            “Is it true that you and Jinyoung are currently in a relationship?” she continued asking.

            “Huh?” Lila asked not knowing what to make of the situation. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            “You are the same Lila that they talked about during their interview, right?”

            “What interview?”

            “The interview that was published yesterday about B1A4. You were seen hanging out with the group a lot and you have already been confirmed to be in a past relationship with the main vocalist Sandeul, but is it true that you’re  in a relationship with Jinyoung?”

            “I-I’m sorry,” Lila stuttered before she hung up the phone. She had no idea why or how a reporter would call her about such things. For one thing she definitely did not know about the interview.

            “Lila!” Gongchan happily said on the other line when he picked up the phone.

            “So what’s this phone call I get this morning asking me about a whole bunch of questions?” Lila immediately asked, getting right to the point.

            “What are you talking about?” Gongchan wondered.

            “Apparently you guys gave an interview or something? I just want to know why this reporter woman is calling me asking me all of these questions about relationships and who in the group is fighting over me.”

            “Did you answer her?” Gongchan nervously asks.

            “No, I hung up on her, but what type of interview did you guys do?”

            “Sandeul-hyung talked a bit about a love problem during a recent interview,” Gongchan hesitantly started admitting, “and I guess they did some snooping around and found out about you and just came to conclusions.”

            “So now what does that mean?” Lila asked unsure of what all of that exactly meant.

            “That means that…well…I guess you might be in a scandal.”

            “A scandal?” Lila slightly yelled. “What do you mean I’m in a scandal?”

            “Well, it’s kind of like what you had with Sandeul-hyung when people started talking about your past relationship, but I don’t know if it’ll be as small as that…” Gongchan said thinking about it.

            “Oh…great…” Lila muttered.

            “But listen, we have another problem on our hands,” Gongchan hesitantly started, “and I was apprehensive about calling you…but since you called first I can just tell you.”

            “Another problem? Is it something worse than a scandal?”

            “Jinyoung-hyung is overworking himself. He spends every waking moment in the studio composing and recording and writing. As far as I and the other members know, he hasn’t eaten or slept, unless he somehow ordered takeout and slept on the couch in there, but we’re worried about his health.”

            “What do you want me to do about it?” Lila wondered. “It’s not like Jinyoung and I are exactly on the best of terms, or any terms for that matter.”

            “We were wondering if you would be able to come and talk to him. It seems like you’re the only one that can talk any sense into him, no matter whether you guys are together or not.”

            “Why can’t you guys talk to him or maybe one of the managers?” Lila asked. She saw no reason in her having to go to the company to talk with Jinyoung when someone else could. It wasn’t like he was even going to listen to her. Their last conversation made it clear that the two of them clearly didn’t know where they were at or what they should do with one another. The feelings still existed, but the trust didn’t. That was the biggest issue.

            “Even if it might be no use,” Gongchan started, “could you at least come and see if he’ll listen to you? We don’t know what to do with him. He just keeps going from our schedule to the practice room to the recording studio without any breaks and this has been going on for days. We’re really worried about him.”

            Lila sighed as she thought about it. She really didn’t see the point in trying to get him to listen to her, but maybe just trying wouldn’t be so bad. She was worried about Jinyoung and so was everyone else. The way Gongchan was describing it, Lila felt like if Jinyoung didn’t stop to take a break, he’d collapse from exhaustion.

            “I’ll…I’ll go,” Lila said finally making up her mind. “Just tell me where I have to go.”         

            “Really?” Gongchan asked, “I’ll text you where, don’t worry.”

            After getting the address, Lila made her way to the building. She was nervous about seeing Jinyoung and didn’t know if her presence would somehow anger him or disturb him in some way. but even if Jinyoung was alright with her presence, Lila didn’t know how she would comfort him. What words could be said? What was there left to say?

            “Thanks for coming,” Gongchan said with a smile when Lila reached the building.

            “No problem,” she said with a faint smile. “You sounded really worried about him. The others are worried about him, too, right?”

            “Of course they are. Sandeul-hyung has been saying that we should’ve called you for a couple of days now, but I didn’t want to disturb you.”

            “That’s alright, but I really don’t know what I could do to help. I mean, what if he’s not even happy to see me.”

            “It’s worth a shot, right?” Gongchan asked as they entered the building and walked up a flight of stairs. “I think what he needs right now is to confront his feelings. We think he’s cooped up in there because he doesn’t want to face reality and we think the only way that he’ll return back to his normal self is if he confronts his feelings. Hence, we asked you to help us.”

            Lila didn’t say anything as she looked at Gongchan, she couldn’t say anything. If Jinyoung were just really hiding from his feelings, then it turned the whole situation around. If Jinyoung really was running away from such a thing, then Lila figured there was no way she was going to be able to get through to him. He was basically running away from her.

            “Just…show me where he is,” Lila sighed. Gongchan nodded his head and showed Lila the door. Slowly Lila took a deep breath before she reached out for the handle and walked through.

            To Lila, the recording room was just like any room, really. There was a desk with a computer on it that had multiple screens for multiple purposes. There were tools and machinery that she had no idea how to use and there was even a little microphone stand and microphone for which she assumed was there if someone wanted to record something. And just like Gongchan previously mentioned, there was a couch on the other side of the room, but it looked like it hadn’t been slept on and there weren’t any food containers around making her worry about Jinyoung.

            “Jinyoung…oppa?” Lila hesitantly asked as she opened the door wider, but he wasn’t in there. “No one’s in here?” she asked aloud as she looked around the room some more, but there was no sign of life in the room. “I guess he left…” Lila said and as she was about to exit the room, she heard another door open from somewhere making her turn around again.

            “What are you doing in here?” Jinyoung asked seeing her standing at the doorway.

            “Where did you come from?” Lila asked.

            “There’s a bathroom connected over there,” Jinyoung said pointing in the general direction, “why are you here?”

            “I was…your friends…the other members, they’re worried about you,” Lila slowly said. She didn’t know how she could explain her appearance in the room and it was obvious that Jinyoung was not very happy to see her there, for which she didn’t blame him.

            But rather than being angry, though, Jinyoung just didn’t understand. He spent the past couple of days trying to figure out what he and Lila actually are and whether he would be able to take her back. She broke his trust and he didn’t know whether he would even be able to have a relationship with her after that. It just so happened that while he was trying to find out his feelings, he stayed in the recording room the entire time, unaware that time was moving around him.

            “Of course they’re always worried,” Jinyoung sighed sitting down at the desk. “They’re always worried about me, I’m their leader.”

            “But…I’m worried, too,” Lila slowly admitted. “The only thing that’s been on my mind recently is you. I wonder what you’re doing and I wonder how you’re doing. I wonder whether you’re eating well or not and I wonder if you think about me.”

            “That sounds like a song,” Jinyoung sighed as he began working again.

            “Look, I know that you’re probably not glad to see me and honestly, I wasn’t even going to come, but your members are concerned about you and they asked me if I could come and check on you.”

            “Why couldn’t they do it themselves?”

            “I don’t know, why don’t you ask them? Maybe if you ever left this room,” Lila said looking around. “Look, I know that as of right now, you and I barely have anything. We barely even have a friendship right now, to be honest and frankly, I don’t know how we got this way. Just last week we were at least on acquaintance terms and then it went downhill so fast. I’m not saying that you have all of the blame, I share it with you as well. We both have things that we should have fixed in our relationship and even now. I’m not saying this so that we’re instant friends since I’m pretty sure that that’s not going to happen. I’m just saying this because I’m saying that I care about you. I’m saying that I’m in love with you,” Lila said as she looked at Jinyoung, but Jinyoung hadn’t moved from his original position of facing the computer.

            “That’s funny,” Jinyoung scoffed as he turned around his chair to look at Lila, “Sandeul said the same thing, but do you want to know something? I would like to accept you, I really would, but I can’t trust myself to do so. I’m afraid that if I were to reconcile a relationship with you that you would just betray my trust again. If you did it once, who’s to say that you’re not going to do it again?”

            “I know,” Lila said nodding her head. “But I still want to be friends with you. If we don’t have the basis for a relationship, I just at least want to have a friendship with you. I can’t imagine what life would be like without you. In what feels like such a short period of time, you’ve come into my life and changed it around.”

            “Maybe,” Jinyoung sighed, “it might be difficult because of the issues that the company is having regarding you, me, and Sandeul. But maybe we can start over with a friendship.”

            “Maybe,” Lila said with a nod of her head as she moved closer to the door. “Well I was just sent in here to tell you that the other guys are worried about you and that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to show your face every now and then.”

            “Thanks,” Jinyoung said with a faint smile before Lila left.

            “I should be thanking you,” Lila said with a chuckle as her hand went on the doorknob. “Thanks, for everything that you’ve done for me. Whether I deserved it or not, thank you. I just wish I was able to give half of that back to you,” she chuckled. “Because of you, all because of you, I was able to be myself. Thanks,” Lila said as she finally left the room.

            “So, how did it go?” Gongchan asked as he approached Lila.

            “It was…alright. I gave him your message. Where did you go?” Lila asked looking around.

            “I was just walking around,” he said shrugging his shoulders. “Here, I’ll go back to your apartment with you.”

            “No need,” Lila said shaking her head. “I can go there myself. There are probably some things that you want to do here, right?”

            “Um…” Gongchan began.

            “You stay here, I’ll be alright by myself. I’ll see you later, Gongchan,” Lila said as she went towards the door.

            “See you later,” Gongchan said as he waved to Lila’s disappearing figure.

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Can Lila get Jinyoung to trust her again? Will the guys be able to help Jinyoung? Will Lila and Jinyoung get their happy ending?

 

Here's Chapter 31. Hope you enjoyed :D

 

And I am back! If you are subscribed to my other stories then you'll either see this message again or have already seen it, haha. But I am back and will be updating more frequently now! But like I said in the last chapter, which I don't know if you guys remember or not, this story will be ending soon, but there is an alternate ending. I think there might be two more chapters until this part of the story comes to an end? And then there will be the alternate ending that will take place after Chapter 26 and I'm not entirely sure how many chapters that will have, but wait for it!

 

I also thank all of you for sticking around with this story for such a long time despite my lack of updates. 

 

Have a good morning, good afternoon, or good night. See you soon :)

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Comments

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jinyounglove
#1
Chapter 2: Oh mo Jinyoung has a feelings towards Lila. By the way i really like the story
chocolategirl
#2
Chapter 31: I like Lila a lot better now, because she had the guts to actually talk to him. I wonder Jinyoung should had talked to Gongchan, I mean hello, Jinchan , not to change the plot or anything
sungkyunnie
#3
Ooooh I like this a lot
tiffani123456 #4
Chapter 28: Don't make eunji sound bad !!!!!!!
chocolategirl
#5
Chapter 30: YESSSS LILA HAS TO BE WITH JINYOUNG!!!!!!!!!!!!
tiffani123456 #6
Chapter 11: I want sandeul and Lila back together but jiyoung and eunji together too
xchessthebest
#7
Chapter 28: I kinda want Sandeul and Lila back together..
I mean Lila already kissed him on the cheek after asking Jinyoung for a break so0o..
Dnguyen
#8
Chapter 28: I hate having Sanduel and Lila together I like having Jinyoung with Lila
Jinla<3