It’s impossible to keep this secret dating going without any of the fans know it, and this seemed to be the day to reveal myself. Or maybe not. To be honest, I was well aware that I am taking a risk in making this decision. If Jinki were to find out, I figured that I will be doomed, so I kept it as a secret from everyone. However, I just really wanted to carry out this idea of mine, because after seeing how loved SHINee was by their fans, I couldn’t help but feel grateful and wanted to give something back to the fandom, even if this would just be a small gesture.

I held the heavy bag with my both hands, then stretched it out to make a final checking on the contents inside. Happy with the bags of cookies I prepared, which also had SHINee-related stickers attached onto them, I got off the taxi after paying and head straight to the venue of the concert. There were a number of people scattered around the venue, some of them were buying several official merchandise at a booth, while others were gathered in small groups singing or dancing excitedly. I spotted a couple of the fans waving the banners in their hands and handing out colorful placards to others for their fan project. I didn’t hesitate to join them, and gave them the bags with a polite smile plastered on my face.

“Can you... Also distribute this to every other Shawols?”

The bags were still held in my hands, because the fans looked at me in disbelief or confusion and their hands were hesitating to accept the cookies.

“May I ask who are you?” One of them asked.

“Me? I’m just someone close to them.” I was scratching my head nervously when I answered her question, while my eyes were avoiding theirs.

“By them... Do you mean...?” The words trailed off, but I knew what she was implying.

“Enjoy the cookies, I’ll see you next time, maybe!”

Before she questions further to my true identity, I hurriedly take my leave as Jinki’s words rang in my mind in a split second, I guessed my conscience was speaking to warn me of my actions.

“Let’s play this game seriously.”

---

I was scrolling through my newsfeed when some of the SHINee members entered the room in rushed steps. I looked up from the small screen, then saw Jinki, Minho as well as Jonghyun hurrying to remove all the accessories they were wearing for the previous performances. The three then wasted no extra second to take a breather when they cooperated with the stylists to get their outfits changed. All the while Jinki was doing his job, he didn’t forget to check with me if everything was okay and I just nodded away nonchalantly while reassuring him for the n^th time that “Nothing’s gonna happen, so chill.” and “Stop worrying”.

Everything seemed to be progressing smoothly, until a commotion was heard from the back in the changing area. I stepped up from my seat and went to the source in curiosity, but I was positive I heard Jonghyun’s voice. It really turned out to be him, and he was disagreeing strongly with wearing the funky looking jacket held in the stylist unnie’s hands. The stylist unnie was stomping her feet in frustration, demanding him to wear the jacket all for the reason that it was specially ordered by Mr. Lee.

“It’s ugly as heck!” Jonghyun protested.

I almost face-palmed myself over witnessing the petty argument happening before my eyes, so I narrowed my eyes doubtfully at the strong-willed Jjong.

“Really, dino?”

“Just look at this weird !” He turned to me immediately and pointed at the jacket aggressively.

“Just wear the weird , you’re putting her in a difficult place.” I shrugged after spending a whole three seconds on looking at the, honestly weird-looking, jacket.

“Out of so many outerwear here, can’t you just pick another?” He averted his gaze back at the stylist and voiced out adamantly. The stylist sighed and shook her head.

“Jjong.” I hastily interrupted them before they had the chance to continue on their endless squabble again.

Jinki and Minho were done changing to a new appearance for the upcoming stages, and Minho was yelling for Jonghyun to hurry up since Taekey were still waiting outside on stage. Jinki called my name as he peeped into the changing area, asking me what was going on but I ignored him after a glance and put my attention back to Jonghyun.

With an icy tone, I said to him, “Do you want me to smack you?”

Upon hearing that, he shuddered and found no words to respond to me for a moment. It was then the roaring dinosaur instantly changed into the harmless puppy Jjong. The stylist standing across him muffled a laughter, but quickly regained her serious posture and stood firm with the jacket still dangling in her hands.

Jonghyun stared at the jacket unwillingly, then stole a careful glance at me. I was still glaring at him, pointing to my watch indicating that he had no choice since he was running out of time.

“Fine.” He pouted in defeat and took the jacket with him. He wore it immediately on his way out and Jinki gave me a quick thumb’s up, but he had to add another comment that irritated my ears.

“Nice one, sleepy head.”

This time, I directed my glare at him, “Oh, now you want me to smack you too?”

He saw my raised hand and immediately knew I was serious. Before anything happens, he shook his head nervously and pressed his lips together into a straight line, then proceed to back his way out the room with a playful wink. When the three of them finally left, the stylist unnie thanked me but I just giggled and patted her shoulder, telling her that I understood her hard work dealing with these bunch of kids. But well, at least Kibum and Taemin who came in next were much well-behaved.

---

After a memorable ending of the concert, everyone was preparing to leave the venue as soon as they could. I assisted the staffs in moving the stuffs back to the van, while the five SHINee members who were done keeping their belongings followed after their manager to the exit. When I was done with my tasks, I quickly joined in the others to board the assigned van, but the crowd of fangirls gathered outside the venue made things somewhat difficult. There were people pushing and screaming, and the limited number of guards were obviously struggling to clear the pathway for the members and control the situation altogether. Due to all the chaos and the mass amount of people, sweat continuously dripped down my temples and I was growing more irritated as the minute passes by.

Something that happened after didn’t help the situation at all.

Just as Taemin was on his way to slide open the door to the van, a girl appeared out of nowhere between the members and went overboard by grabbing Taemin by his shirt. Taemin almost stumbled when she did so, but the girl was still focused on her attempt to garner his attention to her. Everything happened so suddenly, so we were all shocked and speechless for a moment. The guards were immediately alerted on the situation and were pushing through the crowd to get her away, but I quickly decided to act first after seeing the pushing and pulling between the both and the girl who was even about to assault the others nearby.

“Hey! Get off!” I shouted as I reached my hand to pull the girl’s arm. Rudely enough, she returned me with an icy glare before pushing my hands away, causing me to almost lose balance and fall.

“Aish—” When I regained my stand, I almost cursed aloud, only to be interrupted by Kibum with “Oh no, you don’t!” beside me who was trying to get in between the girl and Taemin.

Everything was still so uncontrolled as the time ticked away, and that was when Jinki was angered.

He pushed through the crowd of people from behind and came to us, then pulled Taemin away from her grip in a harsh manner. Taemin couldn’t even react properly to the sudden force, and the girl was then turning her target to Jinki. I almost cursed the second time, but as soon as Jinki knew what she was up to, he frowned at me and my words were left unfinished once again. Then, he looked at the girl in the eyes and said something in his dead serious tone that had even sent a shiver down my spine.

“Please refrain yourself from doing this.”

The girl must have felt the same, because she was no longer forcefully grabbing anyone nor pushing away others the moment she heard his demand. The guards then finally took her away from the scene and we got on board safely after all the hassle.

However, I was sure that Jinki’s temper hadn’t died down.

The atmosphere was tense and silent in the van, and I attempted to get his eyes to focus on mine. When he did, he let out a heavy sigh and scolded mercilessly, “Why did you do that!”

“The guards were too slow and Taemin was hurting.” I tried to explain my decisions, but the exhaustion must have caught up with me that my voice came out weak and tears were collecting in my eyes for some reason.

“No excuse.” He replied shortly and turned away his gaze on me.

I began to sob. Kibum noticed the change in my state, he hurriedly put his warm arms around me to calm me down even though he was extremely tired to even do anything from the looks of it. He tried to defend me and shot back at his leader, “Yeonggam, seriously?! Why are you yelling at her?”

“She could have hurt herself, for God’s sake!” Jinki retorted back.

And that was when my tears broke out even more, but I knew that they were no longer just tears of exhaustion, but also from feeling touched by his sincere words.

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