Beep. Beep. Beep.
 

The alarm is what woke Donghae. Slowly he opened his eyes and turned the alarm off. He stretched and rubbed his tired eyes.

Will Eunhyuk want to see me today?

Donghae asks himself as he looks down and grips Eunhyuk’s quilt between his fingers. He had spent two complete days without seeing Eunhyuk, after spending two complete weeks staying loyally by his side.

And is not the fact that he wasn’t with Eunhyuk that had Donghae bad, it was the fact that this was probably the hardest time for Eunhyuk and Donghae wasn’t there to support him. When Donghae was going through his toughest time Eunhyuk was there for him and Eunhyuk had been the one that brought him out of there, he just hoped he had the enough strength to pull Eunhyuk out of this just like he had done for him.

Donghae waited expectantly to get Eunhyuk’s call. He clutched his cellphone in his left hand and starred at the screen intently.

He’s probably sleeping. Or probably he just doesn’t want to talk to me. Maybe he is just eating breakfast. Or maybe he called someone else…

Donghae made lots of assumptions, alternating between logical and irrelevant. His mind was again playing tricks to him like it had been for days. He had been martyring himself thinking of countless scenarios where Eunhyuk just cut everything between them because obviously Eunhyuk hated him now.

Who wouldn’t? He was sure he would.

He had taken a part of Super Junior. But not just anyone… he had taken the lead dancer, the lead rapper, a composer, one of the members that actively go to varieties, and a great friend.

Donghae was sure: everybody hated him, especially Eunhyuk.

“Donghae? Are you awake?” Leeteuk’s voice was heard as the door to Eunhyuk’s room opened.

Donghae sat up on the bed and nodded to his leader. Leeteuk looked at him with pity.

“Hae… can we talk?” Leeteuk said closing the door and taking a seat next to Donghae. Donghae nodded weakly. Leeteuk breathed in and gulped before continuing “you see… I saw what you researched Hae… but I’ve already talked with our manager and he… he believes is better if Eunhyuk… if he doesn’t… continue… with us” Leeteuk said his voice quivering and loosing force with every word.

He stared at Donghae but Donghae could only stare down, not having enough strength to meet his leader’s gaze.

“I’m sorry” he suddenly blurted out.

“A-abou-t what, Donghae?” Leeteuk asked confused.

“This is all my fault…” Donghae said in a whisper followed by some tears falling of his face and directly to the quilt that covered his legs.

“Donghae…” Leeteuk whispered staring concernedly at his friend. In no time, Leeteuk pulled Donghae towards him making the younger cry in his chest.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… th-this is a-ll my fa-ult” Donghae repeated over and over again as Leeteuk his hair softly with his right hand while he rubbed comforting circles in his back.

“Hae it was an accident, it wasn’t your fault” Leeteuk said softly, trying his best to comfort his friend.

“Eunhyuk hates me” Donghae sobbed against Leeteuk’s chest, gripping his’ t-shirt fabric in his hands hard.

“No he does not, he never will” Leeteuk said firmly, hearing those words from Donghae felt utterly wrong.

“Yes he do-es… I do-n’t bl-ame h-him… it w-as my-”

“Donghae” Leeteuk interrupted him, he separated Donghae from his chest and cleaned his tears with his fingers “listen to me, there is no way Eunhyuk will ever hate you, you heard me? This wasn’t your fault and you need to go and talk to him, being here… it won’t help in any way” Leeteuk said sternly looking straight at Donghae’s eyes.

Donghae felt weak by the mere thought of talking to Eunhyuk.

He nodded and Leeteuk smile a little. He got up from bed and forced Donghae to his feet, and then he grabbed his arm and forced him out of the room so he could clean his face and have some breakfast.

After eating breakfast Donghae returned to his room to grab some clothes and then he took a shower. He got dressed up, grabbed cellphone and keys and then he left the dorms.

He got to the hospital and walked towards Eunhyuk’s room. He stopped outside the door, his heart beating hard and fast. He took a deep breath and then he entered the room.

Donghae opened the door; Eunhyuk was on the bed still eating breakfast. He turned around at the sound of the door opening and saw Donghae. He was wearing dark pants and a white v-neck shirt, his hair was a little messy, and he had a soft smile on his lips.

Eunhyuk was dressed in a white hospital gown and his face looked paler than normal.

“Hi” Donghae said softly closing the door after him.

“Hi” Eunhyuk replied softly pushing the tray of food away from him.

“No keep eating it’s alright…” Donghae said, motioning for Eunhyuk to keep on eating.

“It’s alright… I was going to leave it anyway…” Eunhyuk said running his hand through his hair.

“Oh…” Donghae started looking at the floor “you haven’t… eaten well?” he asked looking at Eunhyuk.

“Why are you here Donghae?” Eunhyuk asked suddenly staring up at Donghae. Donghae stepped back clearly taken aback.

“You… don’t want me here?” Donghae asked hurt.

“No it’s just… sit down” Eunhyuk said pointing at a chair. Donghae dragged the chair close to the bed and sat down on it. “You… you know I’m quitting Super Junior right?”

Donghae gulps hard and nods.

“I… I can’t dance anymore so it’s natural that I leave…” Eunhyuk adds.

They fall in an awkward silence, their gazes not meeting for a single second.

“This… this isn’t right” Eunhyuk is the one to finally break the silence and Donghae looks up at him. “You haven’t slept well right? Haven’t eaten well either… I… I know because I’m the same. You are worried for me… aren’t you? Rather than myself… I’m worried for you” Eunhyuk says and he meets Donghae’s gaze “the two weeks I was out you let yourself sink. What are you going to do now that you won’t have me there?” Eunhyuk asked him, a serious look on his face.

“But I will still have you… I mean… you won’t be there but I can still call you” Donghae said eyes never leaving Eunhyuk’s, Eunhyuk’s expression didn’t disappear “right?”

Eunhyuk looked down and sighed.

Donghae felt his heart cringe.

“Donghae I think… I think it’s better if we just… break it off” Eunhyuk said fist grabbing the sheets hard as Donghae grabbed the chair’s arms with equal force.  “I… we… I don’t think we’ll… we can still… I just… it’s, it’s hard… just-”

“I’m sorry” Donghae interrupted Eunhyuk’s blabbering and Eunhyuk turned to him surprised.

It took exactly 6 seconds for Eunhyuk to understand what Donghae meant.

“You… you think this was your fault?” Eunhyuk looked at Donghae who kept looking down “You think the accident was your fault?” Eunhyuk questioned again his tone raising to anger. “How… how can you blame yourself? You couldn’t control the car… you weren’t driving… just, just… how do you think this is your fault?!” Eunhyuk said exploding, hot angry tears rolling down his cheeks.

“I…” Donghae started his voice quivering; he tried really hard to keep the tears from going out and to eat out the sobs trying to escape.

“No, don’t do this, don’t torture yourself like this. It’s that why you left yourself fell? Because you feel guilty? Is not caring about yourself a punishment?” Eunhyuk asked trying his best to calm down.

Donghae opened and closed his mouth not knowing how to reply and not being able to do as he was battling with his emotions.

“Donghae, how can you be so stupid?” Hyukjae said voice full of anger, Donghae looked up at him confused “How can you even think this was your fault?!” Eunhyuk continued and Donghae looked down and shut his eyes hard. “Do you think I’m breaking up with you because I don’t love you anymore? Do you think I hate you or something?”

Donghae slowly nodded.

“Seriously?” Eunhyuk asked perplexed. “Donghae look up at me” Eunhyuk commanded his voice forceful. Slowly Donghae took his vision from his thighs to Eunhyuk’s eyes. “Do you think I hate you?” he asked again now that Donghae was looking straight at him.

“I… I woul-dn’t b-bl-ame you if you d-id” Donghae said softly not taking his gaze away from Eunhyuk.

Eunhyuk frowned and gripped the sheets harder. He was hurt, how can Donghae think that?

“What makes you think I hate you? What makes you think I don’t love you anymore?! I ing love you Donghae! I love you as much as I loved you before the accident!” Eunhyuk shouted, more angry tears coming down from his eyes and a few sobs escaping his lips.

Donghae bit his bottom lip softly. Keeping his tears from falling was getting harder and harder by every word Eunhyuk said.

Then, why are you breaking us up?  Donghae wanted to ask but couldn’t do so for fear of his voice breaking and the little strength he had left disappearing.

“You think it’s easy for me to separate us?” Eunhyuk continued looking down and letting his tears fall “It is not. I’m quite sure I’ll never love someone like I love you… I’m ing sure we are ing soul mates, and you know why I’m breaking us up?” Eunhyuk said before meeting Donghae’s gaze again, Donghae shook his head quickly “it’s for you” Eunhyuk said breaking up into hard sobs and uncontrollable gasps for air.

“You… you’ll be… b-b-bet-ter off wi-th-out me” Eunhyuk said before covering his eyes with one hand.

Donghae’s heart clenched painfully and he felt all his inside just shrink. He stood up on shaky legs and got closer to Eunhyuk  and placed a hand above his, the other placed carefully on his hurt arm.

“Go!” Eunhyuk half demanded half pleaded as he hit Donghae’s hand away. Donghae ttok a step back and stare at Eunhyuk with wide eyes. “Go Donghae… we’re over”

Donghae blinked rapidly in confusion and then slowly, carefully he stumbled to the door. He reached and looked back at Eunhyuk, and Eunhyuk looked up at him fighting off the tears.

Eunhyuk then mouthed Good bye.

And Donghae only nodded before he opened the door and then closed it after him. He slid down it and until he hit the ground and he hold his knees towards his chest.

And then finally Donghae let his tears fall.

I'm sorry it's short ewe

I hate myself for separating my OTP

then again I'm only good when I write angst

who am I kidding I

I'm sorry

ty update is ty

comment maybe? (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

ty reference is ty too