Conflicting Emotions

Unheard Melody, Oblivious Love

 

Kyuhyun groaned softly as he turned over in his bed, sighing softly before cautiously prying his eyelids open. He glanced at the clock, sitting up in shock at the time. 1:32. In the afternoon.

Kyuhyun was about to throw the covers off in panic when he finally remembered that it was Saturday. They didn’t have school. He exhaled in relief, closing his eyes and letting himself fall back onto his back.

He rolled over onto his side, seeing a figure curled up under the blankets on the bed across the room. Kyuhyun smiled slightly. So Yesung was still asleep while he was awake. Now that was a first. But then again, he thought with a frown, Yesung probably went to bed even later than he did last night.

By the time Yesung managed to drag the half-dead Kyuhyun back to their apartment, it was already past 4am. And the second they stepped through the door, Kyuhyun had made a bee-line towards the bathroom, spending the next half hour puking his guts out with Yesung hovering like a scolding but worried mother hen. Once he finally finished, Yesung had shoved some anonymous pills down his throat before he even knew what was happening, and towed him off to bed.

But as he assessed himself now, Kyuhyun was glad to find that besides feeling a bit hungry and lightheaded, he’d had the worst of his hangover last night. Or rather, earlier that morning. Whatever pill Yesung gave him worked like a charm.

Speaking of last night…Kyuhyun lifted his hand to his lips, the memories crashing down on him with surprising clarity. Even now, he could almost feel that same tingle, that same warmth. He’d never felt anything like it before. Was that what people called love at first sight? Or maybe, love at first kiss?

It’d taken many (probably too many) girlfriends before Kyuhyun realized he was gay, and even after the realization he continued dating girls just for the sake of living up to his reputation. It was safe to say he’d never been emotionally attached to any of them at all, never really cared for them, much less felt anything special at all.

But that kiss with Sungmin, it’d lit his whole body on fire. The feeling was indescribable and it left Kyuhyun completely baffled. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve blamed it on the alcohol, but he’s already drunkenly kissed his fair share of people to be able to brush it off so easily.

The only plausible answer, it seemed, was love. What else could that feeling be? He surely couldn’t have imagined it. The feeling had been much too acute for it to have been a mere illusion or hallucination. Kyuhyun was never a believer in cheesy things like love at first sight, but now he could feel the doubt. The kiss had felt so good, he wanted to kiss Sungmin again, right now.

Kyuhyun snatched his phone off his bedside table, carefully making his way out of the bedroom as to not wake Yesung. He plopped down on the sofa, scrolling through his contacts until he came to a particular name. Did he dare? It was so early….was he being too bold?

Mustering up his courage with one deep breath, Kyuhyun pressed the call quickly before pressing the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Kyuhyun.” He silently congratulated himself for sounding casual.

“O-Oh hi Kyuhyun-ssi.” Sungmin, on the other hand, seemed a bit more flustered. He obviously wasn’t expecting a call from Kyuhyun this early. In fact, he hadn’t been sure that Kyuhyun would ever call him; people typically did things they regretted when they were drunk, and that was only if they remembered anything at all.

“Hey, how are you?” Kyuhyun kicked himself for asking such a generic question, only to kick himself again for not having any idea what he was going to say next. Think Cho Kyuhyun, think, you’re supposed to be a genius!

Luckily, Sungmin had recovered his wit. “Better than you, I bet. How hungover are you? Or are you still drunk? That would explain why you’re calling me,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“Hey, that’s not nice!” Kyuhyun protested. “I’m not even hungover anymore, much less drunk. And what’s wrong with wanting to call you?”

“O-Oh.” Sungmin suddenly seemed shy again, and Kyuhyun decided to take advantage of the silence.

“Are you doing anything today? Because I’m not, and I was wondering if you wanted to go to Lotte World or something. I haven’t been there in forever, but none of my friends can go, and I don’t want to go alone.”

The last part was a lie, but Sungmin didn’t need to know that. Sungmin seemed to be a bit shy, so hopefully the last part would help him agree. Kyuhyun, truthfully, would much rather see a movie than go to Lotte World, but he wanted to talk and get to know Sungmin better. No matter what, what happened last night had occurred as an accident when he was drunk, so he figured he should probably take it slow. Besides, Sungmin seemed like the type that would like games and rides.

“Oh. Lotte World? Ummmm, I think I’m free…” Sungmin trailed off slightly and Kyuhyun let him gather his thoughts a bit. Should he have chosen a movie after all?

“Yeah, sure, I’ll go with you!” He sounded a bit more enthusiastic now. “What time, and where should we meet?”

Kyuhyun resisted the urge to cheer aloud, looking down at himself instead. He took in the sight of the blue pajama pants he was currently wearing. He needed time.

“How about 3 pm, and I’ll just meet you right outside Lotte World? I’ll text or call you when I get there.”

“Okay, sounds good, see you then!” Kyuhyun could almost hear the smile in Sungmin’s voice, making him grin.

“Alright, see you!”

Kyuhyun leapt of the couch with a hoot of triumph. He did it! He set his phone down on the kitchen table before rushing off to the bathroom, taking a thorough shower. The entire time he scrubbed, shampooed, and conditioned, he ran through different topics they could talk about, witty comments he could make if there was an awkward silence.

After drying himself off with a towel in the bathroom, Kyuhyun make his way back to the bedroom to get dressed. Forgetting Yesung was still asleep in his excitement, he opened his closet door with a bit too much gusto, causing the hinges the creak in protestation. Yesung groaned slightly in his sleep, turning over and causing his sheets to rustle slightly.

Kyuhyun immediately clamped a hand over mouth to muffle the “” that had managed to escape. He crept closer to Yesung’s bed, letting out a sigh of relief when he realized Yesung hadn’t woken.

An overwhelming feeling of guilt spread through him as he remembered what he said to Yesung the night before. Sure, he’d been drunk and he knew there was no way he would’ve ever said those things if he was sober, but that was no excuse. Besides the fact that Yesung was extremely emotionally sensitive, Yesung was the one that put up with him, cared for him. Kyuhyun had always been the rude one, the irresponsible one, while Yesung was the patient one, the caring one. He was the one that always reminded Kyuhyun to get his homework done on time, to get enough sleep, to stay warm when it was cold.

Kyuhyun bit his lip as he pulled on his clothes silently, replaying the scenes from last night in his head. He’d apologized then, but even that was when he was drunk. It didn’t feel right to leave when he hadn’t even apologized properly. Kyuhyun wasn’t the best at things like that since he hated admitting he was wrong in the first place, but in this case he didn’t think he’d be able to shake of the guilty feeling unless he did something about it.

As he looked at Yesung’s sleeping form, and idea popped into his head. He contemplated for a moment, unsure if he would be able to succeed, but quickly brushed off his own doubt. He was Cho Kyuhyun after all, how could he fail at something so simple? A smirk found its way onto his lips as he glanced at the clock. He needed to be quick.

 

 

~*~*~

As Kyuhyun locked the apartment door behind him, he felt a sense of satisfaction and pride wash through him. Yesung was sure to be shocked when he woke up.

He turned his mind to Sungmin as he made his way down to the bus stop, boarding one almost immediately after arriving.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t feeling nervous at all. Just anticipation. The entire bus ride, he found himself mulling over things to say, which rides they would go on. Before he knew it he found himself in front of Lotte World, his ringtone sounding loudly from his pocket.

“Sungmin? Are you here already? I just got here and I’m right outside the front. Oh, okay, just a second.” Kyuhyun spun a circle, craning his neck to look over the throngs of people entering and exiting theme park. “Oh I see you! Just stay where you are!”

Kyuhyun quickly pushed his way through the crowd and towards a figure wearing a pink and white checkered shirt with beige khaki shorts.

“Hey! Have you been waiting for long?” Kyuhyun tapped Sungmin on the shoulder, causing the other to spin around sharply.

“Oh, Kyuhyun! No, I just got here too.” Sungmin smiled at Kyuhyun, scratching his head bashfully.

“Let’s go in then!” Kyuhyun tugged Sungmin lightly by the arm, causing Sungmin to flush slightly.

“Okay, what do you want to do first? You like rides, right?” Kyuhyun asked as they walked side by side in the indoor part of Lotte World.

“Yeah, I love thrill rides. I can’t get enough of them.” Sungmin grinned at Kyuhyun. “How about you?”

“Yeah, I like them too,” Kyuhyun smiled, but inwardly cringed at his half-truth. It wasn’t like he was scared of rides or heights or anything like that, he just didn’t seem to enjoy the feeling of his stomach being flipped upside down and inside out like everyone else did. Go figure.

“Great! So what do you want to go on first?” Sungmin asked eagerly.

“Um, whatever you want is fine.” Kyuhyun really didn’t know what to choose anyways.

“No, you pick first,” Sungmin shook his head slightly. “You’re the one who wanted to come here, let’s do what you want to do first. I’ve come here loads of times already.”

“No, really, I don’t even know what to pick. You can pick.”

“Oh come on, there’s got to be something you want to do!”

“Not really…”

“What do you mean, not really? You wanted to come here, right?”

“Y-Yeah, I mean, I just don’t—”

“gggggggrrrrrrrwwwwwwwwwwwllllllllllll”

Kyuhyun broke off midsentence, only to look down at his stomach guiltily. Sungmin stared for a moment, before bursting out into laughter.

“Okay I know! Let’s go get you some food first. That’s what you want, isn’t it?” Sungmin giggled, while Kyuhyun’s ears turned red slightly.

“N-No, I just…” he trailed off, not sure what to say in his defense, his face flushing with embarrassment.

“It’s fine,” Sungmin laughed as he pulled Kyuhyun towards the food court. “Did you even eat lunch today?”

“No, I kind of woke up at one-thirty.” Kyuhyun mumbled as he tried to get a hold of himself. His stomach just growled, for god’s sake! Why in the world was he acting so embarrassed?!

“Well, why didn’t you eat before coming?” Sungmin asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Well, I was kind of busy getting something—I mean, I was trying to get ready!” Kyuhyun stuttered, his brow furrowed as he cringed inwardly again.

Sungmin rolled his eyes. “And you didn’t even have time to eat breakfast? I doubt it. You, sit here.” He firmly pushed Kyuhyun down into a chair, ignoring his protests that he really wasn’t that hungry, before marching off. “I’m going to get you something to eat, just stay here.”

Kyuhyun sighed as he watched Sungmin go buy food for him, resting his chin on his fists. This was not going as planned at all. All his pre-planning had done was to make him look like a stuttering idiot who couldn’t even take care of himself. Maybe he was just overthinking this too much. Yeah, that was probably it. Just relax, Kyuhyun. Be natural. Just breathe.

But, speaking of food…Kyuhyun dug his phone out of his pocket, frowning when he saw he had no new messages. After checking Sungmin was still in line, he typed out a quick message, and pressed the send button.

 

 

~*~*~

Yesung put his chopsticks down as his phone announced that he had a new text. He hesitated slightly as his finger hovered over the keys, before pressing down on it with a sharp exhale.

 

Hyungg~! Y haven’t u txted me yet? Don’t u dare tell me ur not awake yet! Besides, I know that even u rn’t that unobservant! kkk were u surprised?

 

Yesung couldn’t help but smile at the aegyo-filled message with snarkiness in between, but the smile disappeared almost as soon as it came.

He’d woken up to find Kyuhyun missing from his bed, and so he’d ventured out into the kitchen in search for him. Instead of Kyuhyun, however, he was greeted with a large breakfast that he’d never finish by himself, and a note.

 

To Jongwoon-hyung:

Tada! Surprised? And yes, before you even bother asking, I DID cook this all by myself. And no, as you can see, the kitchen is perfectly intact and clean. I did NOT blow anything up, and the food is perfectly edible. Don’t worry, I tried everything myself so it’s not just me and my confidence. I know you’re shaking your head in disbelief right now, but trust me, it does taste good. But then again, being the strange 4D hyung that you are, you might think it tastes funny. But I assure that to normal people, it’s delicious. ;)

Okay, now read carefully, because I’m only going to write this once. But, I suppose you could reread this, but that’s not the point. The point is, I’m sorry, Jongwoon-hyung. What I said last night was so stupid and untrue, I don’t even know how I thought of it, even if I was drunk. You’ll always be my brother. Even if you get tired of me I’ll still stick to you, because you’re MY Jongwoon-hyung. But you’ll never get tired of awesome me, right? >:D

Oh, and in case you haven’t noticed yet, I’m not home right now, kkk. I’m at Lotte World with Sungmin from the bar last night, but that’s a whole different story. I promise I’ll tell you when I get home though. Eat up! ^^

~Awesome GaemGyu

P.S. Text me when you finish reading this, kay?

 

After finishing the note, Yesung felt so completely torn he felt like he’d explode. First, he wanted to melt into a puddle of goo at the sweetness of this entire thing. Kyuhyun almost never apologized, and the fact that he went through all the struggle and danger (yes, danger) to cook breakfast and write a note, said a lot. He almost felt like crying.

But then, he had to go and mention the whole brother thing, and Sungmin on top of that. Why?! Didn’t he realize how much that hurt? How it made him want to scream in anger and pain?

But of course not, how would Kyuhyun know how he felt? This was his own fault in the first place. If only he’d admitted his feelings to himself earlier, if only he’d confessed earlier. But no, he had to be a coward, and now regret it when it was too late.

But then again, even if there was no Sungmin, would he ever have enough courage to confess his feelings to Kyuhyun? Hadn’t Kyuhyun made it clear enough that he only thought of Yesung as his brother?

Yesung didn’t know what to do as all the emotions swirled around in him; the last thing he wanted to do was text Kyuhyun. What would he say? Thanks for the breakfast, brother?

He sank down onto the kitchen chair, his head in his hands. He stared at the food in front of him, before slowly picking up his chopsticks. He ate slowly, not even really tasting the food as his mind whirled at a hundred miles per hour. What would he do? What could he do?

That was when he received the text from Kyuhyun. Immediately, a calm sort of resignation washed through him.

What else could he do, besides stand behind Kyuhyun and care for him silently?

 

 

~*~*~

“And you said you weren’t even hungry,” Sungmin teased as Kyuhyun wolfed down the noodles that Sungmin had bought.

Kyuhyun pouted slightly as he slurped up his noodles. “Okay, maybe I was just a little hungry.”

“Yea, I’m sure, just a little,” Sungmin laughed again.

Kyuhyun mock glared at Sungmin, and was about to take another bite when he felt his phone vibrate. “Sorry, just a sec,” he looked at Sungmin apologetically as he pulled out his phone again.

“No problem,” Sungmin waved dismissively. Kyuhyun opened up his new text.

 

Sorry, I just got too caught up eating; I was so surprised it was actually edible! :P

 

Kyuhyun smirked slightly at Yesung’s bad diss, and quickly texted back.

 

Hyung, that was way weak. Anyways, glad to know u enjoyed it. I’ll talk to you when I get back, ok? Bye! ^^

 

He turned back to Sungmin as he put his phone away. “Alright, all done!”

“Who were you texting?” Sungmin asked curiously. He’d noticed the smirk, and it’d peaked his curiosity.

“Yesung-hyung. You know, the one who sang at your bar last night?” Kyuhyun replied with his mouth full of noodles. “I was just making sure he ate the breakfast I made him.”

“Oh really?” Sungmin looked at Kyuhyun with an eyebrow raised. “You cooked him breakfast but you didn’t have any time to eat yourself? That’s interesting.”

“Well it sounds weird if you put it that way,” Kyuhyun agreed. “But it’s, well, let’s just say it’s a long story. Yesung-hyung…” Kyuhyun chuckled as he broke off, obviously thinking of something funny pertaining to Yesung.

“I’m guessing you two are close, then,” Sungmin prodded, carefully gauging Kyuhyun’s reaction.

“Oh yeah, we’ve known each other since high school and we’re attending the same college, too. We’re actually living together now too because it’s a lot cheaper to share the rent than live on campus,” Kyuhyun explained, his lips curved upwards.

Sungmin nodded, his brow furrowed slightly. “So you’re in the same grade? But why do you call him ‘hyung’, then?” Sungmin asked, slightly confused.

“Because he’s older than me. I started school early and I skipped a grade,” Kyuhyun grinned cheekily, obviously boasting about his accomplishment.

“But then wait a second…doesn’t that make me your hyung too?” Understanding suddenly dawned on Sungmin’s face. “Yah! You sneaky little bastard! Last night, I clearly told you my age, but you didn’t tell me yours! All this time you’ve been speaking to me informally! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!”

Kyuhyun’s jaw dropped; he hadn’t counted on Sungmin being so observant.

“…Whoops?” He stood up quickly, tossing his half-finished noodles into the trash as he sprinted away, with Sungmin chasing after him.

“You disrespectful punk! You are so dead!” Sungmin threatened with a growl.

Kyuhyun only laughed as he ran away on his longer legs. “You’ve got to catch me first, hyung!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

A/N: Ah yes, Kyu is being an oblivious idiot and poor Yeye is suffering so much, but most importantly... I'm BAAAAAACK!!! /bricked. But really, I'm sorry for this super late update. School's started, and it (along with my many other activites) hasn't been too kind to me. (understatement of the year right there) But seriously, I've barely had any time to sleep, much less write. But here you go! So please leave COMMENTS, that way JayJayTeuk will probably update faster than I did, kekeke. Love you all!

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Liza_Blessedx2 #1
Chapter 13: I really enjoyed this fic....hope you come back and finish it sometime.
Cloud_woon
#2
Chapter 13: I hope you will still continue this fic,,,i wanna know what and how would things turn out.


Im guessing that jongwoon will accept that study thing in US..

Im really hoping for a happy kyusung and not a broken kyusung.

Kyuhyun and jongwoon they both need to sort out their feelings,,coz the more they behave like an idiot the more their hurting inside especially jongwoon.

Will wait for your update authornim...
Inscapez
#3
Chapter 13: huffff and to think that I was really happy with how things were going between them esp at the gaming part ! it was so adorable but then again kyuhyun had to plan that stupid idea of returning sungmin - it was cute to be honest - ughh and what's up with yesung ? he is being a really moody person even more than me - can you believe that - he is acting silly tbh and that's going to make kyuhyun drift farther and farther from him so I take back what I said about him accepting that program and i want him man up and confess to kyuhyun ! I don't care if kyuhyun rejected him or began to hate him nor do I care for sungmin feelings he is a guy and behaving like that is such a cowardly thing to do and I'm fed up with this because honestly how would kyuhyun know his feelings if he keeps distancing him self from him by how he behaves ! he should just confess to make kyuhyun feelings mixed and to make him confused and realize that the brotherly crap he always say is crap as I said !

I really hope you update this cuz u want to know what is exactly going to happen and how Yesung will deal with this other than running from it also I really like this fic so please continue it - sobbing -
Inscapez
#4
Chapter 12: I hope yesung would go to be honest because watching how kyuhyun behaved like he took him into granted made me realize upset and how Yesung accepted or rather forced to deny that program by kyuhyun made me more upset .. kyuhyun can be really dumb at times that's why I want yesung to leave even if it was hard for him but being and seeing kyuhyun with some one else hurts more you know it makes your heart ache .. but I hope kyuhyun will realize how Yesung is important to him if he wasn't around kyuhyun all the time and caring too much for him
Inscapez
#5
Chapter 9: hahahaha omg you are so true I'm so frustrated with kyu min right now that I even began to curse Minnie - sorry my cute rappit I know you are happy with your cute wife hahaha - but the thing is I'm really really more frustrated with kyuhyun who can be a real stupid person thank you very much
Inscapez
#6
Chapter 6: that idiot ! curse you and that brother thing choose kyuhyun huffff he is making me crazy but yeah it's typical for him to say that because that's what their relationship is a brotherly one .. BUT THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE CHO KYUHYUN OH HELL YEAH AND I MEAN IT I'M NOT GOING TO STAND HERE WATCHING MY BELOVED YESUNG GET HURT BY HOW STUPID YOU ARE UGHH
well I'm going to con8reading it's not like I can do anything but that - crossing her arms -
Inscapez
#7
Chapter 5: I like when jealousy hit kyuhyun like it's the most natural thing when Yesung comes near someone because its priceless and so adorable ! but the end left a bittersweet feeling in me just like how it did to Yesung because from this point onwards his suffering will begin huff curse you alcohol and curse you choose kyuhyun for drinking it
TheFanFicHoeX
#8
Chapter 12: That's just being selfish Kyu.
KrystalSeijuro #9
Chapter 13: GEE could Kyu be more oblivious than ever.. Seriously i hate seeing Yesungie so heartbroken but its his fault , he wont confess to that brat.. I Hope Yeye will go to the program or whatever it is so that Kyuhyun would realize Yesungs more important than Sungmin, But author-nim , please update !! im a new reader and i want you to have an inspiration to continue this ...