*Please read the author's note for this chapter, thanks!!*

Kyuhyun drummed his fingers nervously on his legs, simultaneously hoping Sungmin would show up already and also that he would never show up at all. Dammit, Kyuhyun never felt nervous. Or so he told himself. The nerve-wracking feeling he was currently experiencing was absolutely killing his pride.

After talking to Yesung, he’d truly felt better and decided to confront Sungmin about how distant he’s been acting. The problem was, Kyuhyun had never been good at expressing his feelings. How in the world was he supposed to even bring it up? “So, hey, why have you been so preoccupied lately?” Kyuhyun wanted to bang his head against a wall.

After agonizing over it all of Tuesday, he finally decided to just man up and call Sungmin. What he didn’t expect, however, was for Sungmin to also say he had something to talk to Kyuhyun about. They agreed to meet on Wednesday at the same park they were at before.

At the moment, Kyuhyun was hating himself for arriving ten minutes early. It had to be the longest ten minutes of his life, and the sense of foreboding wasn’t helping. Initially, he’d tried to come up with things to say, or how he’d breach the subject, but he’d soon given up as his mind continually wandered. What did Sungmin have to tell him? Was he going to explain himself what was going on? Or was it something completely unrelated? Maybe he was just overreacting, and Sungmin wasn’t being distant at all? Was he just being incredibly stupid and insecure?

Kyuhyun wanted to tear his hair out.

Finally, Sungmin jogged up to the bench, greeting him with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Kyuhyun glanced down at his watch, inwardly marveling at how Sungmin managed to arrive right on time, exactly on the dot.

“Hey, I hope you haven’t been waiting for long.” Sungmin plopped down on the bench beside Kyuhyun, running a hand through his hair. Kyuhyun just shook his head, and couldn’t help but notice the space Sungmin left between them on the bench. He thought about scooting closer, before quickly banishing the thought.

“No, not at all,” Kyuhyun answered. Which was true, but it somehow felt like a lie since waiting seemed to have lasted much longer. “You said you had something you wanted to talk about too?” Might as well cut to the chase, Kyuhyun wasn’t sure he could take any more waiting and empty speculating. He wasn’t used to feeling this nervous for extended periods of time!

“Yeah, but you can go first. You called me first, after all,” Sungmin chuckled slightly, but it almost looked like a grimace. The tension and awkwardness in the air at the moment was suffocating, and Kyuhyun didn’t have it in him to start the “no, you first” game.

“Okay, I’ll go first then. But hey, just because I’m going first doesn’t mean I’m the lady!” Kyuhyun attempted to lighten the mood, but only felt his pride shrivel up and die as Sungmin seemed to force a laugh, once again looking more like a grimace.

Stupid, Kyuhyun, that was so stupid! What kind of a lame joke was that? What the hell are you doing?

Screw his pride, could he just shrivel up in a hole and die himself?

“Okay, well, it’s just that…” Kyuhyun paused, any words he’d memorized previously completely forgotten. “…I don’t know if it’s just me being stupid, but, I feel like you’ve been a bit…distant lately.” Sungmin grimaced for real this time, avoiding Kyuhyun’s eyes. That was all the confirmation Kyuhyun needed. He even felt a bit of relief knowing he wasn’t just imagining things. “Is something up, Sungmin-hyung? Is there anything I can help with or do?”

Sungmin was silent for a few moments, before taking a deep breath and staring straight into Kyuhyun’s eyes. Kyuhyun had to force himself not to look away at the intensity.

“Your right, Kyu-ah. Actually, I’m kind of surprised you noticed, you don’t really seem like the observant type…” Sungmin trailed off, a humorless smile twisting a corner of his mouth up. It took quite a bit of self-control for Kyuhyun to suppress his protest that, in his opinion, he was quite observant.

“I might as well cut to the chase and be straightforward,” Sungmin glanced down for a split second, his lips, before reconnecting his gaze. Kyuhyun couldn’t help but be startled by the determination, but also the underlying sadness swirling in the brown orbs.

“Let’s break up, Kyu-ah.”

Break. Up. Break up? Did he just say break up? What…?

“Wait what? Break up? What…why? I mean–” Kyuhyun broke off, realizing he was just blabbing. It seemed like the words hadn’t sunk in yet, they couldn’t have, because he didn’t feel anything except bewilderment.

Kyuhyun had been expecting a variety of things. Maybe the death of a family member, friend, or an incurable sickness of some sort. Or maybe financial troubles. Or even difficulty from an ex. But none of the scenarios he’d spun around in his head involved the ultimate.

“Just, just hear me out.” Sungmin suddenly looked extremely weary, and he no longer tried to maintain eye contact. “I really like you, Kyuhyun, I really do. But don’t you feel like this relationship has been a bit…forced?” He paused. “Especially on your part?”

What?! Kyuhyun opened his mouth to protest, to defend himself as a feeling of indignation and injustice welled up inside him, but Sungmin plowed on.

“I’m not saying you aren’t trying, Kyuhyun, or that you’ve done anything terribly wrong. I can tell you’re trying, really. It’s just…I’m not sure you actually like me, and that you know what you’re doing.” He smiled wryly. “I think you’ve mixed up your feelings.”

Now Kyuhyun was thoroughly confused. So Sungmin thought he didn’t actually like him? That he was “mixed up”? What?

“No, what are you talking about? Of course I like you! Is it something I did that made you feel this way? I really don’t understand what you’re talking about! And is it worth breaking up? Can’t we talk it out or something? I mean–”

“Sorry, Kyuhyun,” Sungmin cut him off as he stood up, facing away from Kyuhyun. “I’ve already thought about this a lot. I don’t want this to drag on longer and cause more pain. Trust me, just…just think about what I said. I think you’ll find you’ll be much happier if you can work it out. And…and I hope we can stay friends.”

With those words, Sungmin walked off briskly, leaving Kyuhyun staring at him open-mouthed, wondering what the hell just happened.

~*~*~

“I mean what the hell?! What kind of a break up was that?” Kyuhyun whined, hugging the pillow to his chest. “He didn’t even tell me what I did wrong, if I even did anything!”

Yesung shrugged weakly, unable to figure out what exactly would be the right response.

Honestly, it had taken pretty much all of his self-control not to cheer when Kyuhyun slammed their front door shut and announced to pretty much the entire apartment building that Sungmin had broken up with him. He knew it was bad, but he couldn’t help it! Even if his chances with Kyuhyun didn’t increase at all, at least he wouldn’t have to deal with the heartache of Kyuhyun dating someone who was not him.

But now, he was at a complete loss at how to react and comfort Kyuhyun. It would have been easier if Kyuhyun had been furious or something, he could handle a raging Kyuhyun. And as much as he hated seeing Kyuhyun cry, even that might be better as he could then just spew the generic “you’re way too good for him” and “you’ll find someone else better” crap to comfort him. He could even deal with a sulky Kyuhyun who refused to tell him anything.

But currently, Kyuhyun was having none of those reactions. Frankly, he was having none of the expected reactions of having a break up from a semi-serious relationship.

“You’re….whining, you know.” Yesung commented hesitantly. “Like a little kid who didn’t get to buy a toy he wanted,” he added.

“No I’m not!” Kyuhyun denied immediately. “I’m…venting.”

“Uh-huh.” Yesung deadpanned.

Kyuhyun pouted.

“See! You just pouted! You are totally just whining like a little kid!” Yesung was pretty sure that normal protocol was to not tease your friend who just suffered a break up, but he was also pretty sure this wasn’t a normal situation.

Kyuhyun looked like he was attempting to come up with a witty come back of some sort, but ended up just sagging back on the couch, clutching the pillow even tighter. He glared petulantly at Yesung. “Aren’t you supposed to be comforting me or something?”

At this, Yesung sighed. He moved from his position at the doorway and plopped down on the couch next to Kyuhyun. But not too close.

“Well, it sounds to me that, in the last half hour that you’ve been whi– I mean, venting,” he corrected himself, “you’re more, er, upset about the way he broke up with you than the fact that he actually broke up with you.”

Kyuhyun frowned. “Really?”

Yesung suddenly felt a spark of hope kindling in his chest.

“And, to be honest, you’re definitely not acting like someone who just suffered a heart-breaking break up. You seem more…confused than anything.

Kyuhyun seemed to be in deep though. “I guess that’s true.”

Yesung felt his heart pick up. “Maybe what Sungmin said was right. Maybe you don’t really like like him?” he suggested lightly.

“No, that can’t be right,” Kyuhyun rejected immediately, not noticing Yesung’s face fall. “I mean,” Kyuhyun paused, his brow furrowing in thought, “that wouldn’t make sense. I mean, I asked him out because I like him, and I don’t think my feelings have changed.”

Yesung bit his lip. Well, screw his hopes then. He swallowed, trying to think of something to say and not let his disappointment (understatement of the year there) show.

“How did you know you liked him in the first place?” Yesung settled on asking a question, and one that he was genuinely curious about. Sungmin was definitely good-looking in a very adorable kind of way, but what made him so much better than Yesung?

Kyuhyun’s grip on the pillow relaxed slightly as pursed his lips, deep in thought. “I dunno, I guess I just really liked kissing him that first night. And then, afterwards I really enjoyed talking with him. I really enjoyed being in his presence, you know? So I asked him out.”

“But don’t you enjoy being in my presence too?” The question slipped out before Yesung could stop himself, and he wished he could take it back the second it left his lips.

“That’s different! You’re so silly, hyung!” Kyuhyun laughed, his serious expression gone.

“Yeah, I know,” Yesung forced a laugh himself, feeling relief and hurt at the same time. Relief, that Kyuhyun hadn’t picked up on the hidden meaning behind his words. Hurt, because it seemed like Kyuhyun would never enjoy being in his presence in that different way.

“But that still doesn’t answer the question of why he broke up with me,” Kyuhyun sighed, once again pulling the pillow close to his chest. Suddenly, Yesung really wanted to be that pillow. If only Kyuhyun would cuddle him like that when he needed comfort. Yesung would gladly give it.

“Didn’t he say something about the relationship feeling forced?” Yesung asked.

“Yeah. And something vague like he knows I’m trying, but…..wait! That’s it!” Kyuhyun shot up from this slouched position, throwing the pillow on the ground. “I wasn’t being romantic enough!”

“Huh? Where did you get that idea from?” Yesung stared at him with a confused look on his face.

“It totally makes sense! He said I was trying, but he wasn’t sure I like him. I probably wasn’t making my feelings clear or something. And also said he really did like me, so there was no real reason for him to break up with me. And at end, he told me to really think about his words…that has to be it!”

“Y-Yeah,” Yesung agreed weakly. He really didn’t have the heart, or energy for that matter, to tell Kyuhyun that was probably not what Sungmin meant. Not that he knew what he meant either, but on the other hand he didn’t really care either. All Yesung cared about was how Sungmin managed to dump Kyuhyun and still hold onto his heart.

“But, what am I supposed to do? I mean, he already broke up with me,” Kyuhyun huffed, once again sinking back into the couch, crossing his arms. “Do you think…do you think he just wants to me to prove to him I love him? But, how the hell am I supposed to be more romantic?” He ruffled his hair, frustrated. “I thought I was doing at least a semi-decent job!”

Yesung gave a grunt, neither agreement nor disagreement. What could he say, after all? Give Kyuhyun sappy ideas of how to win back Sungmin’s heart? His own heart would probably break in the process.

“Like, should I get him flowers or something? I thought about it before, but I thought he might find it too girly or something.”

Yesung pictured Kyuhyun standing before standing before Sungmin, offering him a bouquet of roses with a confident smirk on his face. Yesung suddenly felt nauseous. 

 “Or maybe couple rings? But how would I apologize? Write a cheesy song or poem or something?”

Now Yesung imagines Kyuhyun putting a ring on his hand instead of Sungmin’s, softly singing an apology as he gazes into his eyes.

“Arghhhh but aren’t those things way too stupid? Why is this so difficult?” Kyuhyun growled.

Yesung stands up suddenly from the couch, pulling up a surprised Kyuhyun as he pushes him towards the door.

“Can you go…go get the mail, please? Yeah, go get the mail. I don’t think I, I mean, just sitting here sulking isn’t going to help, give it a rest. Sleep on it or something. Please get the mail!”

Before Kyuhyun could even protest, he found himself outside their apartment, facing a closed door. He frowned for a moment, rubbing his neck in confusion, before shrugging it off and heading towards the elevator to go downstairs to check their mailbox.

Yesung, inside the apartment, locked the door by habit and then slid down against the door, his eyes closed tightly. Why. Just why? Why did it hurt so much? Why was life so unfair? Normally, he would’ve been mortified with the way he’d acted, rambling and pushing Kyuhyun out of their apartment like that. But now, he didn’t even have the energy to care. He’d had enough. Kyuhyun was such an oblivious idiot, he doubted he’d even thought twice about his strange behavior.

Yesung breathed in a shaky breath, before exhaling. And again. And then he sighed, opening his eyes.

Thinking thoughts like that right now wouldn’t change anything, though. Kyuhyun would be back soon enough.

Sure enough, moments later, knocking from the other side of the door could be heard.

“Yahh, hyung, how could you push me out here like that? I don’t even have my key with me, and you locked the door? I didn’t even have shoes on!”

Yesung sighed with for the umpteenth time, before checking his expression and opening the door. He did feel slightly guilty for making Kyuhyun go get the mail without his shoes.

“Hehe sorry, Kyu-ah. But seriously, just stop thinking about Sungmin for now, stewing too much isn’t going to help.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right for once,” Kyuhyun conceded as he stepped through the door, earning a light slap on the arm. “There’s isn’t really anything special in the mail, mostly bills and ads. I think you have something from the school, though.”

“Really? Huh.” Yesung took the envelope from Kyuhyun, frowning slightly as he noticed the school logo on the corner. “I hope it’s nothing bad.”

He tore it open, unfolding the papers inside. Kyuhyun had moved on into the kitchen, setting the mail down on a counter. He began rummaging through the cabinets and refrigerator, looking for something to snack on.

“Hey hyung, mind if I eat the last bag of chips?” Kyuhyun asked as he was already opening the bag. Yesung didn’t respond.

“Hyung?” Kyuhyun questioned as he walked over, placing his chin on Yesung shoulder as he peered at the papers.

“The foreign exchange program? Berklee?”

“I…I think I was accepted,” Yesung breathed out in disbelief.

Honestly, he’d applied on a whim. Their school had program that students could apply for and, if accepted, the school would provide financial aid for them to study abroad. Most students applied just because. Yesung had heard about Berklee from Henry, a family friend who was talented (and lucky) enough to be accepted into the prestigious music school, and figured why not? He hadn’t been expecting to be accepted, however.

“Isn’t that some famous music school in the US?” Kyuhyun asked, and then whistled when Yesung nodded in affirmation. “But, hold on, is this the short term or long term exchange?”

“Um…” Yesung flipped to the second page, scanning quickly. But Kyuhyun found the bolded words before he did, reading them out loud.

For financial aid from Berklee College of Music, you must transfer and become a full time student on Berklee campus.

“Well then, that’s disappointing. Sorry, hyung,” Kyuhyun shook his head as he lifted his chin off Yesung’s shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Yesung asked, his brow furrowed.

Kyuhyun looked at him, surprised. “Wait, you’re actually considering transferring schools? But you worked so hard to get into this one! Remember, we said we were going to graduate from the same college and stuff!”

Yesung blinked. “Oh yeah…” And there was no way he would afford it without financial aid of some sort.  “But…I don’t know, this is a really great opportunity,” he said wistfully.

It was true, he’d worked his off to get into their current school that excelled in the areas of math and engineering. Yesung were decent at best in both areas. The only reason he tried so hard, and passed, was because of Kyuhyun. All he wanted was to be with Kyuhyun.

But at this point, he wasn’t so sure.

“Aww hyung, you can’t ditch me!” Kyuhyun whined, grabbing the papers from Yesung and tossing them onto the “junk mail” pile on the counter.

And then Kyuhyun pulled the puppy dog eyes that only show up once every blue moon.

“Fine, fine,” Yesung grumbled as he let Kyuhyun drag him into the living room to play a game with him. How was he supposed to resist Kyuhyun in the first place?

But later that night, when Kyuhyun was already asleep in bed, Yesung found himself retrieving the acceptance letter and packet from underneath a layer of random ads, and tucking it into a notebook in his drawer.

Just in case.

A/N: Hey! Yep, it's lahdeedah000, not SeoulStar this time. Basically, SeoulStar's going to be busy with her family restaurant for the rest of the summer, which means I'll be taking over updating for the time being. She's still gonna be helping me with the plot of each chapter and editing of course, so don't worry about that. ;) However, that does mean updates might not come as fast as I hoped, as you guys saw with this chapter. They still should be pretty regular though since it's summer, so don't worry! ^^ Thanks for your patience!