Hello dearies! I think I owed you a lot so save the drama (coz there'll be a lot in this chapter!). What are you waiting for? Go read~ <3

It was a cold morning and the sun is still not out yet. The only light that was guiding him is from a series of lamp posts beside the road. Chanyeol felt shivers throughout his body as he walked at the deserted lane. He could feel his hands were getting numb even though he was wearing gloves; one of them was free while the other was holding a bouquet of flowers. He tried to switch the load, but it was useless. He looked at them helplessly as he continued walking. He breathed out a loud sigh. A small puff of air came out from his mouth. He watched it with nonchalance as it disappeared slowly into nothingness.

It was quiet, too quiet. If this was another day, it would have scared him to death walking around this area. Who in the right mind would go here at this time of the day? However, today was an exception. Today, exactly like in the past six years, Chanyeol always looked forward to this date. Every year, he would always ask for permission from his boss to take a leave. Of course, why not? This day, Chanyeol would have his annual ritual. Even the night before, his best friend Joonmyun did not even ask him why he bought a bunch of flowers. Joonmyun knew, even though they did not talk about it. And he understood it very well. Today was a special day for Chanyeol. Today was the only day he reserved for the most important person in his life.

Chanyeol suddenly became aware of the sounds of the twigs breaking beneath his feet. Every step he made as he went near that place became quicker. He walked in anticipation. His heartbeat was getting faster by the minute, and a wide smile appeared on his face as he stopped on his tracks. He stooped down as he put the bouquet of flowers just beside the tombstone. His eyebrows furrowed slightly a little as he saw a few dried leaves and twigs on it. Shaking his head slowly, he removed all of them. When he was satisfied, he made himself comfortable as he sat down on the ground. After lighting some incense and saying a small prayer, he smiled solemnly as he read the name written on the tombstone.

“Good morning, hyung.” He greeted cheerfully.

He knew he looked stupid, and he did not make any sense. However, today was his older brother’s death anniversary. This was the only time that Chanyeol goes to his grave. Most of the time, he would just talk to his brother when he was on the rooftop. He knew that even though he talked and talked, he knew no one would answer him. It was okay, he did not mind. Maybe at some point, he did expect someone to answer back. The thought sent shivers down his spine. He decided to push the thought at the back of his mind. He was in a deserted cemetery at this time of the morning for god’s sakes.

“I can believe it’s been six years already…” Chanyeol continued talking.

This was how it has always been. Whenever he felt down or bored or just wanted to talk to talk about his day, he would always go talk to his brother.

“How are things up there?” he chuckled. “Or is it down there?”

He laughed bitterly at his humorless jab.

“Hyung,” Chanyeol said. “It’s been a long time, isn’t it?”

His tone suddenly becomes serious.

 “You must be really pissed off at me right now. It’s been a year since I last visited you.”

Chanyeol sighed.

“But you hear me, right? You’re listening to me right now?”

He started playing with a loose thread on his gloves.

“Or are you still sleeping, you lazy bum.”

Chanyeol smiled to himself.

“Well if ever you’re listening…”

He heaved a sigh.

“Lately, there are a lot of things happening in my life. You know what; I had this job the other day when I looked like a host. You would have laughed your off if you ever saw me. It was really embarrassing. I had to wear this super shiny suit. You could see me miles from where I stand. Also, Joonmyun, you remember him, right? I told you the story of him and his best friend? Well, there are a lot of developments lately… I still hate his best friend though. Joonmyun is working under him right now. It’s weird, isn’t it? Well, it’s a long story. Well it’s because of this guy…”

Chanyeol cut himself short.

“Hyung, I met someone.”

Chanyeol did not even know how to continue. He felt a bit uneasy when he started talking about Baekhyun. It was like confessing a well kept secret to his brother.

“Aish… I don’t even know how to begin. Let’s just say I met this guy. He was small, but he’s really noisy. And he popped in and out of my life. When I first met him, he was super wasted, and he threw a bottle at me. He also threw up. Then the next thing I knew, he shows up to my work and got Joonmyun fired. But he was the one who helped Joonmyun find a job, so I did not say anything. And the last time I saw him, we both got arrested. It’s crazy, right? What a troublesome person…”

Chanyeol laughed a little, but the smile slowly faded from his face.

“But even though he’s like that, he always smiled. He could be very stubborn, and I guess that is why he always stood by what he believed in. He always talked in a loud voice, but he was really nice especially to his friends. Sometimes when I see that stupid smile on his face, I felt sad. It’s like his smile was a bit more than what is expected. The other night, I saw him cry… I did not know what to do, hyung. He seemed really sad.”

Chanyeol breathed out. He scratched his head embarrassedly.

“How did I even end up talking about that guy anyway? Hmmm. Hyung, I know that if you’re here, you’ll know what to do. You always know what to do. I don’t want to see him cry again.”

He breathed out a soft laughter.

“I can’t even believe I said all those things. But you’ll always understand, right?”

Suddenly, a soft ray of sunlight shone down the tombstone. Chanyeol knew it was time to leave.

“Whoops” He said as he stood up. “I didn’t notice the time. Your family might be arriving soon.”

Chanyeol grinned slightly.

“Hyung,” he said while tears suddenly stung his eyes. “I wish you’re still here. I really, really miss you.”

He let out a sound between a sob and a laugh.

“If you’re here, you would’ve slapped my head right now.” Chanyeol sniffed as he quickly wiped the tears from his eyes.

“I’ll talk to you soon, hyung.”

The bell was ringing when Kyungsoo entered the school gate. It was so unlike him to be this late, but for some weird reason, his alarm clock did not work that morning. His father forgot to wake him up as well, so after showering and eating a very quick breakfast, he immediately left the house. Unlike Minseok, Kyungsoo was not used to being late to school. He had never been tardy ever, ad he does not have a plan to smear his pristine record because of today. That is why with all his might, he gave it his best to reach the school on time.

Kyungsoo thought about all the things Minseok had talked about before. He regretted not listening to him while his hyung gave him tips to avoid being late. If anything, he really needed it right now. Kyungsoo knew he was not a fast runner. He was a hopeless case. On the other hand, he knew that he cannot give up this easily. Their school has a policy that if you came in late, you are supposed to do the morning exercise, and Kyungsoo did not have any plans of doing that ever in his life. He saw the videos that the other students took before. They were not pretty.

That is why a great sense of relief flooded in his system when he barely made it through the entrance while the gates were closing. He stood there, trying to catch his breath. He held on to his knees for support. However, he was really happy. Deep inside, he was doing a victory dance. Because of his happiness, he suddenly shot up his fist to the air as a sign of his triumph.

When he finally realized the silliness of his actions, he put his hands down right away. As normal as possible, Kyungsoo started to walk towards his classroom. He saw a lot of students on their way to class as well, so he decided to blend in with the others. He was still feeling awkward. For the past few days, even though he and Jongin patched things up between the two of them, Kyungsoo finds it uncomfortable to be hanging out with Jongin. So, even if Minseok and Tao did not approve, he chose to hide his friendship with Jongin on the down low.

Jongin did not like this set up one bit either, on the other hand, Kyungsoo felt satisfied. At some point, he was still afraid that something like what happened that afternoon in the gymnasium would happen once for a second time. He was afraid that he would get hurt again. The feeling he experienced that time was beyond he could bear, and he did not want something like that to happen once again. He felt guilty, because he was not able to five his one hundred percent trust to Jongin. It was selfish, and he knew that, however, Kyungsoo thought that in the long run everything will improve little by little.

Kyungsoo walked past the noisy crowd in the corridor. There were a lot of students frolicking and loitering outside the classrooms. They were all waiting for the teachers to come in. Kyungsoo was beyond glad that he made it. When he opened the classroom door, however, he saw that Jongin was not there. More often than not, Kyungsoo would always find him sleeping when he comes in, but to find an empty seat, this was something different. Kyungsoo looked around curiously for a few seconds to search for a sign of Jongin, but there was none.

Frowning to himself slightly, Kyungsoo made his way to his seat. He sat back down silently. He felt really weird that there was an empty seat beside him. He wondered why Jongin is absent. Is he sick or something? Kyungsoo decided to send him a text. He pulled his phone from his pocket, but an idea burnt through his mind as he looked at his phone’s screen. If this was any day, he would not really care. On the contrary, when Kyungsoo looked at the date, he knew something was up.

He knew all about this, because it happened like a pattern. Kyungsoo did not notice at first, but eventually, he figured it out. It was quite easy, but he did not know the reason underlying this strange occurrence. For all the years that Kyungsoo liked Jongin, he did not let this little fact pass by his judgment. Nevertheless, he decided to send a message to Jongin to check up on him. He immediately received a reply:”

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry. I can’t come to class today. I’m feeling under the weather.”

Lies…

Kyungsoo knew they were lies.

He was certain.

Why?

…Because every year, on this exact date, Jongin would always be absent in class.

“What the--- ow…!” Kris quickly turned around when he felt someone bumped on his back.

There he saw sprawled out on the floor, Joonmyun was lying on his back carrying what was supposed to be a tray of coffee. It took a while for Kris to register in his mind that the coffee were spilled all over the floor. Joonmyun immediately sat up and tried to fix his mistake.

“Oh my god, that was stupid…” Joonmyun stood up and started to clean up the mess on the floor. “I’m so sorry, President.”

“Joonmyun,” Kris had a small smile on his face. “You know that we have to stop meeting like this.”

That was so cliché. Kris wanted to slap himself right now. He wanted to crawl into a box and just put himself in a corner of a deserted storage room and just stayed there for the rest of his life (or at least until Joonmyun was out of his sight.). Fortunately, the latter did not seem to hear what he said, since he was still trying to wipe the mess. Careful to hide the relief on his face, Kris tried his best to hide the nonchalance in his voice as he cleared his throat. For the first time in the past five minutes, Joonmyun looked up at the towering person hovering about him.

“It’s okay, Joonmyun.” Kris said. “You don’t have to bother cleaning. I could call maintenance. They’ll be here in a bit.

But Joonmyun shook his head defiantly. “No, sir, I’m fine, I can manage. You don’t need to trouble yourself.” He continued cleaning.

“Joonmyun,” Kris kneeled down with his one knee and held up the other boy’s wrist to stop his actions. He must have held on too tightly, because he saw Joonmyun winced slightly as their eyes locked into a gaze. Kris immediately loosened his grip as soon as he saw this. Nevertheless, he refused to let go. It was the only way to make Joonmyun look at him, and get his attention.

Kris saw Joonmyun looking at him intently, and then he saw how his eyes looked at him to somewhere else. He saw how Joonmyun’s face registered a frown when something caught his attention. Kris felt uncomfortable when Joonmyun returned his gaze towards him. He was looking at Kris with his eyes blinking. He was so distracted from Joonmyun’s stare that he did not notice that the smaller boy had managed to free his hands from his grip. He only become aware of this when he saw Joonmyun’s gentle hands reaching out to him. Acting through his instincts, Kris started to pull away. On the other hand, Joonmyun had already held on to his left arm and he frowned some more.

“Why…?” Kris finally breathed out the air that he did not notice he was holding in.

“Oh my god…!” Joonmyun suddenly gasped. “I ruined your shirt! I’m so sorry!”

Kris breathed out a soft laugh. He did not know if it was because of disappointment or relief. He looked at the large coffee stain on his shirt that he did not notice until Joonmyun pointed it out.

Joonmyun was flustered. “What should I do? It must be really expensive! President, I swear I’m going to replace it!”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kris said to calm the other boy down. “It’s just a small stain; nothing like a good laundry to fix that.”

“But…” Joonmyun started to say, but Kris cut him off.

“No buts…” Kris said with finality. “You’re such a worry wart, Joonmyun.”

He stood up and reached a hand to help the other boy stand up as well.

“I just…” Joonmyun looked up at him sadly. “I always cause you trouble.”

Kris smiled at him encouragingly. “No you don’t. Don’t underestimate yourself. Besides maybe I want the trouble.”

He then saw a smile ghosting on Joonmyun’s lips. Kris tried to restrain himself, but he could not. He patted the smaller boy’s head gently. He was about to say something, when he heard someone coming out from the corner.

“Joonmyun,” a voice called out. “Where are you? Are you here?”

Kris turned around and saw Yixing standing behind him. Kris noticed how Joonmyun lighted up when he saw Yixing, but at the same time it did not escape from Kris’ attention how the singer intently looked at the two of them. Kris removed his hand from Joonmyun’s head.

“Yixing-ah,” Joonmyun said. “I’m sorry. I spilled your coffee. I’ll just go down and get another one.”

“No,” Yixing said too quickly as he made his way past Kris and held on to Joonmyun’s arm. “Let’s get it together.”

“Okay,” Joonmyun answered him with a smile, and then he turned to Kris. “President, I’m sorry again.” He bowed two times.

Kris bowed ever so slightly. “I told you it’s okay. I’ll see you around.”

Joonmyun bowed once more, as well as Yixing. Kris watched the two walked away from the place. He keenly took note of how Yixing held on to Joonmyun protectively, and how Joonmyun seemed oblivious of it all. Kris smiled to himself bitterly. He might have underestimated the mess he was going to get into.

“Minseok! Pay attention!”

Minseok jumped from where he was standing, and he nearly dropped his music sheet. He must have looked pretty silly since his actions earned a lot of laughter from his classmates. He had no idea how many times their voice teacher had scolded him since the start of the lesson. However, he did not seem to care about it as he looked aimlessly once again.

Minseok had been distracted ever since he stepped out of his apartment. For the first time in weeks, (and let him emphasize: WEEKS) Tao did not pick up Minseok to go to school together. At the top of his head, he somehow expected it would happen eventually. Well, he expected, but he did not hope. He wanted to deny it to himself, but he somehow felt sad. He kept telling himself that he should be happier now that he was finally free from Tao’s “unreasonable” protectiveness, but deep inside he knew that he was just kidding himself.

Maybe I’ll just see him in class. Minseok tried to convince himself with that. He questioned himself why he was feeling this way. He just thought that maybe he just became too attached to Tao these past few weeks that his absence felt foreign for him. He just pushed all these thoughts at the back of his mind as he walked miserably to school, since he realized that he was starting to sound like a whiny drama queen. However, he was surprised when he came in the classroom to find Tao’s seat empty. He figured that Tao might be coming in late, but he never arrived. Minseok knew he was worried, and when he tried calling Tao’s phone, his calls were rejected. Minseok was not the type to worry. Of course, he knew that Tao has the right to be absent (or play hooky) if he wanted, but as he stared at the rejected phone calls he made, his mind could never be at ease. During these times, Minseok always think of the worst case scenario.

He could only be anymore relieved as he heard the lunch bell go off. Minseok bumped to a few people as he absentmindedly made his way to Kyungsoo’s classroom. He did not even have enough care to notice the disapproving stares and sounds that people had been aiming at him. When he opened the door of his friend’s room, he found Kyungsoo seating alone.

“Hey hyung,” Kyungsoo greeted him. “You’re alone today? Where’s Tao-hyung?”

“Hey,” Minseok settled down on Jongin’s vacant seat. “Tao did not show up today.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo replied, and then he paused and looked at Minseok with wide eyes. “Oh!”

“What?” Minseok raised his eyebrows.

“Interesting…” Kyungsoo answered cryptically.

“What’s interesting?” Minseok tapped his foot impatiently. “Just spill it, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo looked like he was unsure of what to say. “I just thought it’s strange, that Jongin’s absent too.”

“Oh, yeah…” Minseok nodded. “That is strange indeed.”

“But,” Kyungsoo added. “I think it’s more strange that he’s been always absent every year on the same day.”

Minseok stared at his friend. “How’d you figured that out?”

Kyungsoo’s cheeks turned red. “I… I just noticed.”

Minseok chuckled. “I can’t believe I’m friends with a stalker.”

“I’m not!” Kyungsoo said defensively. “I just noticed it!”

“Okay, dude.” Minseok shook his head. “That’s it. I can’t take this anymore.”

“What?” Kyungsoo asked as he watched his hyung standing up and making his way towards the door.

“I’m sneaking out.” Minseok said as if it’s nothing serious. “I need to know what’s happening.”

“Who’s the stalker now?” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath.

Minseok rolled his eyes. “Touché, my friend. However I noticed you’re following me.”

He laughed as he saw Kyungsoo blushed even more.

“So what’s up with the President being all over you earlier?”

Joonmyun nearly choked on his coffee as he looked at an expressionless Yixing staring up at him. “What?!”

Yixing did not say anything, but Joonmyun knew that his friend is not amused. They were sitting at Baekhyun’s office, waiting for the manager to finish his meeting with Jongdae’s crew. Today was the start of rehearsals for Jongdae’s comeback, and Yixing’s presence is essential always. Joonmyun had to give his friend the credit. Yixing had been working too hard lately, aside from the fact that he was going to be promoting with Jongdae in the upcoming weeks, he would soon be releasing an album after that. And then, there would be the concert tour soon. In Joonmyun’s perspective, Yixing must be really tired right now.

“I’m sorry…” Yixing trailed off after a few minutes of silence. “That was rude of me to say that. Forget I asked.”

Joonmyun looked at Yixing intently. “Well, for the record, nothing is going on, Yixing-ah.”

The coffee tasted bitter in Joonmyun’s mouth. He did not miss the accusatory tone in Yixing’s voice earlier in which Joonmyun has no idea why. The President was one of the nicest people in the office, and Joonmyun respected him. He did not know what to say after that. God knows that if Joonmyun could just say it out loud, he would broadcast to the world to which his heart belongs to; if he could say it out loud. Unfortunately, he cannot. Yixing started another conversation, and Joonmyun was more than willing to oblige.

He was happy that the two of them were able to restore their friendship slowly but surely. At some point, Yixing was finally letting himself meet Joonmyun half way. It was a huge improvement, and people around them were quite happy about it. Even though Baekhyun did not say anything, he would be ecstatic every time Joonmyun and Yixing would talk to each other, and even Jongdae congratulated Joonmyun a few days earlier. He cannot believe his ears when Chanyeol was all supportive when Joonmyun opened up to him about his feelings with Yixing.

He cannot say that he was not uncomfortable with the situation. Actually, he was afraid that Yixing might feel awkward if he ever finds out about it, so Joonmyun tries his hard not to show anything. He was actually contented with how the things were going on at the moment. Besides, Yixing did not need all those unnecessary crap right now, and Joonmyun would make sure he would not be a burden to him.

“Joonmyun,” he heard Yixing calling him.

“Huh?” Joonmyun asked in return.

“Do you like someone?” Yixing asked bluntly.

It took a few seconds for the question to register in Joonmyun’s mind. “What? Do I like someone?”

Yixing nodded in return.

“Why are you asking this all of a sudden?” Joonmyun laughed to hide his nervousness. “That’s a bit random, don’t you think?”

“It’s not random.” Yixing said. “We’re friends. Don’t friends talk about those kinds of things?”

“Well I guess so.” Joonmyun sighed dejectedly.

“So, what’s your answer then?” Yixing cocked an eyebrow.

Joonmyun let out a sigh once more. “I do like someone.”

“Oh.” Yixing said plainly. “Do I know him?”

Of course you do. Joonmyun thought of saying, but he let it go. He would rather not answer.

“That’s disappointing.” Yixing said when he noticed the lack of response. “Is it that Chanyeol?”

Joonmyun laughed out loud. “No, that’s too funny.”

“Baekhyun?”

“No. He’s like a brother to me.”

“Do you like the President?”

Joonmyun stared at his friend. “Why do you always drag the President into the conversation?”

“That doesn’t sound like a ‘no’ to me.” Yixing retaliated. “Besides, I don’t like the way he touched you earlier, that’s all.”

Joonmyun was getting exasperated. He was going to answer when they heard a sudden knock on the door. Joonmyun stood up immediately and found a delivery boy standing in front of him.

“Good morning sir,” the delivery boy said. “This was to be delivered in this office.”

“What is it?” Joonmyun asked, but his question was answered when the man brought a huge flower wreath into the office. It was the kind of wreath that Joonmyun had only seen in funerals. It brought chills to Joonmyun’s spine and Yixing immediately went to his side. The two of them looked at each other. Why would anyone deliver funeral flowers to Baekhyun?

Just then, the office doors opened. Joonmyun and Yixing heard Baekhyun’s and Jongdae’s voice talking. However, when the two of them got a good look inside, Joonmyun saw how Baekhyun’s face turned white when he saw the flower wreath. Jongdae was fast enough to pull Baekhyun into a hug as a spine chilling sound emanated from the latter. Joonmyun watched as Jongdae pulled the crying Baekhyun outside. He also heard Jongdae scolding someone on the phone and telling to get rid of the wreath as soon as possible. Back inside the office, Joonmyun felt the fear gripping him. This was the first time he had seen Baekhyun so… broken. He made a move to run after his friend, but Yixing told him not to, that Jongdae already had it under control. There were a lot of questions in his mind, but this was definitely not the time for them. However, that did not mean the fear he was feeling was fading. Reaching aimlessly, his hand tried to seek Yixing’s, and when he found it, he was quite relieved that his friend held onto him. He felt Yixing giving his hand a squeeze, and like always, this was enough to calm Joonmyun down.

“Where are you going after this?” Sehun reached for Luhan’s hand.

“I need to go to work.” Luhan answered smiling as he intertwined their hands together. “I need to make a whole new set of wardrobe for Yixing by the end of the week.”

The two of them were eating lunch together. For Sehun, it was a break he needed the most. These past few weeks had been very stressful, that is why he was so delighted to just eat lunch with his boyfriend, even if it was just for an hour. He would have tried contacting Baekhyun as well for the lunch, but he knew better. He knew what day it is, and Baekhyun did not need any reminders. Even though Sehun pretty much had an idea that his best friend was well aware of what was happening.

Sehun had always pretended this day never happened. He had a lot of practice over the years, and he was pretty much ignorant of it now. Well, maybe not that ignorant, but more of he learned how to get by without hurting himself. Years before, he would have been really pissed off really hard when someone reminds him of this day. But he realized that it did not help him one bit, nor it did help Baekhyun. That is why he decided to just be the selfish person he is, and not say anything.

“What about you?” Luhan asked in return. “Where are you going after this?”

“Well,” Sehun started. “I have a meeting here.”

Luhan pouted. “So that’s why you made me drive all the way from the other side of the city. You have to be here, you lazy .”

Sehun chuckled, and kissed the back of Luhan’s hand. “And I appreciate the effort.”

“Hmph,” Luhan pouted a bit more, yet never letting go of Sehun’s hand.

“You know,” Sehun said playfully. “If you pout anymore than that, I’m gonna kiss you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Luhan rolled his eyes. “You say those things, yet I clearly don’t see any results.”

Sehun did not waste any time to reach over to Luhan to give him a quick peck on the lips. He felt so relieved that he could not help but smile.

“There’s your result.” Sehun saw a small grin playing on Luhan’s lips.

“And I’m happy about it.” Luhan answered. He looked at his watch and almost flipped when he saw the time. “Oh my god, I need to leave now!”

Sehun whined. “Do you have to? Can’t you just stay here?”

Luhan laughed. “Baekhyun would kill me if I’m late. Honestly, your best friend is quite scary sometimes.”

Sehun laughed at the comment. “Fine… I’ll just walk you outside.”

When the two of them were in front of the restaurant, Sehun’s hand lingered a bit too long with Luhan’s, which caused a minor hit from the latter.

“I miss you already.” Sehun said as he kissed Luhan’s forehead. “Can I pick you up, later?”

“Of course you can,” Luhan answered. “Maybe you could spend the night at my place too.”

Sehun smiled teasingly, “Sounds like a good idea.”

Luhan smiled and reached for Sehun to give him a goodbye kiss. Sehun was about to let go of Luhan when someone called for him.

“Sehun-ssi?”

Sehun whipped his head around to search for the voice, and saw the person he was going to meet, one of the producers for his upcoming project. Deep inside his consciousness, his soul was rolling his eyes right now. How he hates this douche bag with a not so squeaky clean reputation, but what could he do; he was a client and douche bags like him were what make the industry go round. That is why Sehun had learned from long time ago that he just needs to it. However, Sehun did not like how this guy looked at Luhan; it took longer than what was necessary.

“Luhan,” the man said. “It’s been a long time.”

Sehun noticed how Luhan tensed up, and gave a small nod at the producer. Sehun was surprised that the man knew his boyfriend, but he never had much time to dwell on that, because Luhan had whispered him a goodbye and was walking away already.

“Mr. Hwang,” Sehun reached out his hand. “Should we continue this inside?”

“Sure,” Sehun noticed that the man has a smirk on his face as he watched the back of Luhan. Sehun did not like that one bit.

As soon as they sat down on the table, the producer did not waste any time to interrogate Sehun. “So you finally learned the tricks of the business, huh?”

Sehun looked up at him blankly. “I don’t know what you mean, sir.”

“Come on,” a grin which disgusts Sehun to the pits of his stomach appeared on the other man’s face. “Don’t try to blindside me on this one. You’re hiring one of them right now.”

“Like I said sir,” Sehun’s heart was starting to beat irregularly. There are a few words in that statement that does not fit to his liking. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What is this?” The producer’s smirk became wider. “You know? Luhan? I haven’t seen that pretty face for the longest time.”

Sehun eyed the man with contempt. “What about Luhan?”

“So how much did you pay for that, huh?” Sehun balled his fist, and pursed his lips. “Might’ve been way higher since the last time I hired him. Amazingly good in bed, wasn’t he? I have to admit I want to take a second round with him. I know you get it. Well, since he’s yours right at the moment, I’ll just wait for you to get tired of him. Man, it’s rare to have that good of a .”

Sehun did not say anything, nor did he let his emotions gave him away. Everything at that moment was a blur. He did not know what happened, he just let everything went out mechanically. He felt like a robot answering when it was needed.

After the meeting was over, Sehun proceeded into one of the stalls in the bathroom, and locked himself in. Once inside, he immediate punched the bathroom wall. He punched it again, and again, and again. Even if streams of blood were coming out of his fists, he did not stop. He went punch after punch, as he beat the poor wall in front of him.

He did not make any sound.

He did not feel any pain.

He did not care that his fists were bleeding.

He did not want to stop.

Because deep inside his heart, there is an ache that was greater than anything he was experiencing outside.

"Hyung, do you ever think about what could have been?” Jongin asked silently as he took a bite from a steamed bun that he was eating.

“Since when did you become this philosophical?” Tao asked in return with a tone of amusement.

Jongin shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know… I just… I mean, what if there’s an alternate reality that’s existing right now where all of us were happy and all those stuff.”

“But we’re happy right now.” Tao replied plainly. “Aren’t you happy, Jongin?”

“I guess.” Jongin answered. “But you know what I mean, hyung, don’t you think so?”

From his peripheral view, Jongin saw his brother nodding in agreement. The two of them sat peacefully on the river bank, eating their snacks. They just came back from the cemetery, and since they were not planning to go to school anyway, they just decided to just spend the afternoon doing nothing. Jongin was worried. Whenever this day comes every year, he always had the same fear deep inside of him. Somehow, he would always wish that he could just forget it and skip it, but he did not have any choice. Everyone involved, including his brothers would always and forever be chained to that unfortunate event. However, even though Jongin’s heart did not want to, he must endure going through it. He knows that his Tao-hyung did not like it either.

“Hyung,” Jongin called out. “Do you think Baekhyun-hyung would come with us next time?”

Tao lied down on the grass. His face squinted in a way that made him look like he was struggling for an answer. “He’ll come around one day.”

Jongin nodded. He had asked this question a lot of times before, and Tao would always answer him with the same response. Jongin would always be satisfied after that. He knew that it was not easy for his Baekhyun-hyung. He understood him. In fact, he understood to well why his eldest brother was having a hard time forgiving. Lord knows, even he and his Tao-hyung were still not over it.

Jongin lied down beside his brother. Raising his right arm, he traced the long forgotten scar that he made years ago. It was the mark that would forever remind him of his cowardice. Jongin looked carefully at the other small slashes around it. These were the ones which are slowly fading away through time. It took him years to look at them properly. He was scared that one day; they would come haunting back at him. But right now, so far, he felt like he was safe.

“Stop thinking about it too much.” Tao said suddenly.

“Yeah, I know.” Jongin answered silently. “I’m just not really a huge fan of today.”

Tao laughed. “Well, for the record, I hate today as well.”

The two of them fell into a comfortable silence. Jongin closed his eyes. He somehow felt calm as he listened to the occasional splashing of the water or the footsteps of the passersby or the sound of a passing bicycle.

“There you two are!” A loud voice interrupted the tranquil atmosphere which caused Jongin to open his eyes all of a sudden. His vision was just adjusting for the view when he saw his brother already sitting up. Jongin followed suit. Turning around, he saw Kyungsoo and Minseok running to where they were sitting.

“Aish,” Tao scratched his head. “Minseok, what are you doing here? You shouldn’t be playing hooky!”

Minseok had his hands on his waist. He somehow towered over the two brothers. “Says you…! What are you doing here?”

Jongin laughed a little which caused Minseok to cold him too. “You, Jongin, you should’ve known better than to support your brother from missing school.”

“Calm down, Minseok.” Tao interjected. “I know you just came here, because you miss me.”

Minseok looked like he was gonna explode. Jongin was sure he could see steam coming out of his ears already. And he answered his retort.

While the two older boys were fighting beside them, Kyungsoo looked at him with reproach. “You told me you were sick in your text. What happened, really?”

Jongin looked at Kyungsoo apologetically. “I’m sorry, Kyungsoo. We just had to attend to some family matter.”

“Oh, I see.” Kyungsoo gave him a smile. “Well, I’m relieved you’re all right.”

Jongin returned with a grin. “And I’m glad you came here too, Kyungsoo.”

“Guys,” Tao called. “Minseok said he’s gonna treat us today!”

“What!” Minseok gasped. “No, I’m not!”

However, Tao was already pulling him away. “Come on! Don’t be such a killjoy! I’m extra hungry for your treat today!”

Smiling to each other, Jongin and Kyungsoo followed the two noisy people in front of them. However, the four of them had not walked that far when a gang of six students block their way.

“Tao,” one of the leaders say. “It’s been a long time, isn’t it?”

Yixing was on his way to meet Jongdae in the practice room. He and Joonmyun did not have any idea what happened back in Baekhyun’s office, though the two of them decided that it was better if they did not ask anything. Yixing walked alone in the corridor. He liked the silence that followed him. It cleared his mind even more. Although this morning, there was worry in him more than usual. This was when he saw the President patting Joonmyun’s head earlier. Somehow, he could not get the visual out of his head. The first thing he felt when he saw that was fear. He was afraid that the President might just use Joonmyun at some point, like what happened to him. On the other hand, he could not help but to feel a bit jealous as to how Joonmyun seemed to be at ease with the President, and the fact that Yixing could not even be at ease with his best friend at close proximities does not seem to help with the problem. Yixing did not even know how the two even knew each other.

Yixing let out a miserable sigh. He was not really the person to pry, but somehow in this case, he felt like he should now everything. He tried pushing asking Joonmyun about the President’s topic, but it was useless. He did not find out anything. At one point, he did not trust the President with Joonmyun. Even thought it might just be caused by his very unreasonable mind, he felt like there would be a huge possibility that his best friend will be hurt in the process. He might have been over thinking. He was not even sure why he was drawing conclusions like that or assuming this and that, but there was a monster deep in his stomach that needed to be fed with these kinds of things.

As he walked aimlessly at the empty hallway, he saw a tall figure rounding out on the corner. Even though it was still far away, Yixing could recognize it any time. He wanted to just melt behind the wall behind him, or run away or something, but he was pretty sure that the President had already spotted him, so he just told himself to hell with it and continued walking. When they were close enough on the other hand, Yixing was determined to give the President a generic greeting and bowed his head. However, when they had already passed each other, the monster inside of him kind of took over and let himself speak.

“Don’t ever touch Joonmyun again.” Yixing heard himself say.

Against the silence of the deserted corridor, it was hard to miss the sudden halt in the President’s steps. Yixing felt himself turn around, and found himself face to face with him.

“I’m sorry?”  Kris’ asked in monotone, never giving anything away.

Yixing did not know where the sudden confidence was coming from; after all he was talking to his boss. He should be shooting himself right now.

 “I think I said that don’t you ever dare touch Joonmyun again.”

There was a grin ghosting on Kris’ lips. “I think you’re not the one to decide about the people I touch, Yixing.”

Yixing glared at the President. “Oh, I remember now. You could just do whatever you want, whenever you please. Isn’t that right? I think I distinctly remember that from the time when you came knocking on my door, drunk in the middle of the night, and slept with me.”

That… That was a foreign territory. Yixing knew that someone must mention it sooner or later, and he knew it would have to be the one. He immediately saw the displeasure in Kris’ eyes as soon as the sentences flowed out from his mouth. The President did not waste any time to pin Yixing against the wall. But Yixing did not fight back; he did not feel afraid despite the intense gaze that he was receiving right now.

“That was uncalled for.” Kris said in a scary calm voice.

Yixing looked at him directly in the eye. “If you want a plaything, just use me instead. Don’t go hurting someone else.”

Yixing suddenly felt the President pulling him into a harsh kiss. This time, Yixing was able to push him away. He felt the President’s breath ghosting around his ears.

Kris spoke with a barely audible whisper that was only meant for Yixing to hear. “For the record, I will never have the intention of using Joonmyun as my ‘plaything’. Unlike what I did to you, I would never ever hurt him. You just made yourself a tough competition. Besides, aren’t you supposed to be focusing yourself in your work? You’re not supposed to be distracted with trivial things.”

Yixing watched hopelessly as the President walked away from the scene. He felt himself in a daze.

Just around the corner from where he was standing, Yixing was oblivious of the fact of Jongdae witnessing the whole ordeal in front of his very own eyes.

“Jonghyun,” Tao immediately stepped in front of the four. “What the are you doing here?”

The gangster kid named Jonghyun, smirked back at him. “Aww that’s nice. That’s how you say hello to an old friend?”

Tao rolled his eyes. “I don’t remember you being my friend ever.”

Jonghyun stepped in front of him and tilted his chin. “It’s nice seeing you again, Tao.”

“Stop saying my name.” Tao did not break his gaze from Jonghyun “It sounds so wrong coming from your filthy mouth.”

Despite everything, Tao’s mind was racing. He knew that Jonghyun was bad news, and right now, he needed a way to bring Jongin, Minseok and Kyungsoo as far away from possible. He could fight Jonghyun and the others by himself, but he had to make sure the other three would not be hurt. He was just lucky that the in front of him was not taking interest at the others… yet. On the other hand, on the unfortunate event that Jonghyun begins to turn his attention from him, he would have to let Jongin know to run away as fast they could.

Tao has no idea why, but somehow Jonghyun made his way back to the city. It had been years since Tao saw him, and so far, he was glad. Tao met him during junior high. Those were the days when Tao would always ended up in the headmaster’s office every day. He would always end up fighting people around him, but his school could not expel him since his grades were topnotch. A lot of gangs wanted to recruit him, but he never joined any. He did not want to be tied up. Besides, Human Relations was not his forte, so being in a group has never been an option.

That was when Jonghyun came in. He was so damn persistent to get Tao to join his gang. He tried everything, but failed… a lot. It annoyed Tao to bits, and it even came to a point where they had a fight to death bet which almost proved to be nearly fatal for Tao. It did not end, of course, since Jonghyun got knocked out. But after that, he did not see Jonghyun since then. Somebody told him that since Tao won by default; Jonghyun fled the city because technically, it belonged to Tao. He did not know the purpose of Jonghyun’s sudden return.

“So,” Jonghyun said cockily. “It’s today, isn’t it?”

Tao raised an eyebrow. Of course Jonghyun remembered. Today was the number one reason why Tao even became a delinquent in the first place. A lot of gangs suddenly knew about his sob story, without him telling a single soul.

“So what if it is?” Tao answered. “I’m surprised you still remember. Despite your moronic face, you have some pretty sharp memory.”

Jonghyun’s smile dimmed a little. “Careful now…”

“I can’t believe you just came here to send your condolences.” Tao said.

“Of course not,” Jonghyun gave a dramatic sigh. “I’m here because I heard from some of my sources that you had started to get soft. You know I can’t just leave this city in the hands of some guy like you.”

Tao smirked. “Oh please, I don’t ing care. Claim this city if you like. Just get the hell out of my life from now on.”

Jonghyun clicked his tongue and turned his eyes at the persons behind Tao’s back. “So I guess this tall guy behind you is little Jongin?”

Tao immediately put his foot in front of his brother to block Jonghyun from coming near Jongin.

“You’re as protective of your brother as ever, I see.” Jonghyun smiled.

“Don’t ever lay your filthy hands on him.” Tao felt like everything was going too fast.

“Let’s see…” Jonghyun went around looking at the other two. “I don’t know who the other one is, but I’m pretty sure that the one with the cute cheeks is Kim Minseok.”

It took every inch of his willpower to hide his surprise when Jonghyun mentioned Minseok’s name. He knew that it was the signal that everything would be getting serious from that point. As swiftly as he can, Tao looked up to the sky and punched the bridges of his nose with his thumb and index finger. This was always a signal that he learned from his Baekhyun-hyung. They used this when they were kids as a sign of danger was coming, whenever they played hide and seek.  He knew that Jongin understood the message immediately and bolted away pulling Minseok and Kyungsoo in his wake. Jongin was a fast runner. He could bring the two to a safe place, and if he was lucky, he could even call for help.

Tao did not waste any time, and placed a punch right on the nose of the first two guys who tried to run after his brother. He swore loudly as he felt his fists ache. Man, he did not realize that he was this out of shape. Okay, two down, four to go… This would not be easy, since Jonghyun was still there. Four persons against him, he did not realize that somebody landed a punch on his face until it did. He barely had time to feel the blood trickling from the side of his mouth, because he had to dodge a kick.

“Is that all you’ve got?!” Jonghyun shouted at him. “I can’t accept that you were able to beat me if you’ll play like that.”

“You wish.” Tao landed an equal punch on his face. God that felt good.

However, As Tao looked at the four guys in front of him; he knew it was a lost cause. He did smile though; at least somehow he managed to forget what day it is. He told himself to just it, and then proceeded to just do what he can. He was growing tired, and Jonghyun was still out there in a better shape. Tao was about to give up when somebody came, and knocked out Jonghyun in one punch. He did not know him, but hell; it did give him a boost of confidence. They managed to knock out the other three, but Tao was at his limit. His body hurt a lot, and he knew that he had so many wounds in his body right now. He turned to face his savior. All he was sure of was that a guy, a bit taller than him was giving him a smile.

“Don’t give up just yet. They’re still waiting for you.” That was the last thing he heard before he out.

“I think he’s waking up.”

“Do you think I’m blind? I know!”

“Hyung, please wake up…”

“Jongin, don’t pressure him too much!”

“Minseok-hyung, you’re so noisy!”

“Whoops, my bad…”

Tao slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was an unfamiliar ceiling, a bit too low for his liking. It felt like he could touch it. He reached up his arms and sure enough, he did felt the ceiling on his hands. That’s strange. He thought, and then it finally hit him. He was lying on the lower bunk of a double deck. He wondered where he could be. He slowly turned his head to his side and saw four faces staring up at him, three he knew very well, and the other one, well, not really.

“Where am I?” That was the first thing he said.

“Hyung,” Jongin looked relieved. “I’m glad you’re okay. You’re in the house of Minseok-hyung’s friend.”

“Oh,” That was all he was able to say.

“What you did was stupid and reckless.” Minseok said looking like he was about to cry, and he then proceeded to hit Tao’s arm, which hurt A LOT.

“Tao-hyung,” Kyungsoo said after restraining his friend. “Thanks a lot for saving us.”

Tao attempted to smile in return. “How long was I out?”

“You were out for a couple of hours.” Jongin replied. “I already called hyung to pick us up here. He said that he’s going to just drop by at the office, and then he’ll go here right away. Oh, he also wanted to let you know that he’s going to pulverize you he sees you.”

Tao chuckled. He still felt sore all throughout. He tried to sit up, but the pain was making it impossible.

“Don’t try to move so much yet.” The other guy who he did not know suddenly said. “It took a long time for us to apply the bandage and all.”

“You were the one that save me.” Tao said when he was hit by the realization.

“You were doing fine.” The tall guy said. “I just gave you a little assistance.”

“Thank you.” Tao said.

“It’s nothing.” The tall guy replied. “If Minseok did not call me, I wouldn’t even know that something’s up.”

“Huh?” Tao turned to Minseok.

“Oh, I forgot to introduce you two.” Minseok said. “Tao, this is one of my senior from my work, Chanyeol-hyung.”

If Jongdae was able to hear everything that unfolded earlier in the corridor, he made sure to hide it from Yixing. At some point, he felt blindsided. He did not expect any of these from happening, especially not from Yixing. This was not part of the plan. It would be really hypocritical of him if he said that his ego was not hurt from earlier. He felt angry yet defeated at the same time. In all honesty, he wanted to work with Yixing for the longest time, however, he knew himself that he had some ulterior motives aside from that. Jongdae knew that from the moment he signed the contract with the other company; he would not be able to see Kris anymore. That was unacceptable. The only excuse he could ever have to stay within the company’s proximities was to work with one of their talents. That was where Yixing came in. He knew it was for his own selfish reasons, but it was a win-win situation right? No one would lose anything. No one would get hurt. At least, that’s what he thought about the nature of the relationship between Kris and Yixing. But what could he do now? The truth hurt a lot.

“Jongdae-hyung, are you alright?” he heard Yixing calling out to his side.

Jongdae barely had enough time to react. He noticed that his hands were starting to shake once again. And it was slowly making its way throughout his body. No. This could not happen this early. He drank his medicines earlier. He cannot be experiencing an attack this way. Jongdae tried to scramble to the other side of the room to get his pills, but when he tried to take a step, he nearly toppled over. Fortunately, Yixing was able to catch him.

“Jongdae-hyung…!” Yixing gasped.

“Yixing…” Jongdae tried to say with trembling lips. “Get… my… pills… from… m... my bag.”

Yixing immediately went to find the bottle of medicine from the bag. He immediately made Jongdae swallow a pill. A few tormenting minutes later, Jongdae felt some signs of him calming down. He felt really weak after that. Yixing sat quietly beside him, assisting him every now and then, making sure he was okay.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Yixing.” Jongdae said finally after making sure that he was okay.

Yixing shook his head. “It’s okay, hyung. Do you want me to bring you to a hospital?”

“No,” Jongdae said firmly. “I’m okay here.”

“Are you sure?” Yixing looked at him carefully.

“Yes.” Jongdae assured him with a smile. “I must’ve freaked you out a lot, didn’t I?

“A bit,” Yixing smiled shyly. “But hyung, are you alright? Are you sick or something?”

Jongdae shook his head. “It’s just an anxiety attack. I’ve been experiencing a lot this past few years.”

“What?” Yixing looked at him.

“Yeah,” Jongdae trailed off. “That’s why I went to America, to get myself healed. Well, I thought so, until I started experiencing it these past few weeks.”

“All the more reason you should go to the hospital, hyung.” Yixing pushed on.

“Not right now.” Jongdae shook his head once again. “Can you imagine how the media’s gonna sell the story if they find out I’m going to a psychiatrist? They would have a field day. I’ve seen them blowing issues out of proportion a lot of times. I could almost see the headlines right now.”

“But hyung, don’t you think it’s a bit harsh on your side?” Yixing said. “Your health is in danger. Who knows what if you get an attack while you’re performing onstage?”

Jongdae smiled. “I’ll be fine. You’re too kid, Yixing. But I can manage by myself.”

“Hyung, if you ever need anything…” Yixing trailed off, but Jongdae understood.

‘“I just need to ask you a very small favor.” Jongdae added.

“What is it?” Yixing asked.

“Please,” he pleaded. “Don’t ever tell anyone about what happened… Not to Kris, not to Baekhyun, or even Joonmyun…. Okay?”

Yixing nodded, but did not say anything after that, and Jongdae was grateful because of that. They continued rehearsing after that. A few hours later, Baekhyun arrived with Joonmyun on his wake. Jongdae took it as a sign that their time was up. Yixing was kind enough to wait for Jongdae to close up the practice room. The two of them went down together. From afar, Jongdae could see Baekhyun and Joonmyun waiting for them in the parking lot. Yixing insisted that he help Jongdae when he brought his things to his car.

“Thanks a lot today, Yixing.” Jongdae said.

“No problem, Jongdae-hyung.” Yixing said kindly. “If there’s any problem you could call me.”

Jongdae nodded. He watched Yixing as he started to walk away. Before he could stop himself, Jongdae reached out to him and hugged him from the back; his chest resting gently on the younger’s back. He could feel that Yixing froze from his touch.

“I know this is not logical,” Jongdae started saying. “But right now, just give me a minute. Let’s just stay like this.”

He somehow felt Yixing letting go after that. Jongdae knew it was out of concern, but it was okay. He felt relaxed in some way. From his distance, he saw Baekhyun and Joonmyun watching them. Jongdae tried his best to ignore them, but he could not let go of the way Joonmyun looked at the two of them. Even when Jongdae closed his eyes, he saw the look of dazed confusion and the fear of impending betrayal from Joonmyun’s eyes. The look he had grown accustomed to.  Jongdae tightened his grip on Yixing, as if that would make everything okay. He knew it would not, yet he was willing to fool himself for just a few seconds of illusion.

I’m so sorry, Joonmyun-ah.

“Are you sure that’s the right address?” Baekhyun called his brother Jongin once again, just to make sure.

“Yes hyung, I’m pretty sure I checked five times.”

“Fine,” Baekhyun answered exasperatedly. “How’s Tao? Is he still awake?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Baekhyun replied. “Make sure he stayed that way. I need him conscious so that I can knock him out later.”

“Will do...”

“Okay, I’m on my way.” Baekhyun said. “I’ll be there soon.” And he hung up.

“So it’s really our apartment?” Joonmyun asked in amusement.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun sighed. “Who would’ve thought?”

“Well, it’s a small world after all.” Joonmyun smiled at Baekhyun. “I’m just glad you’re brother’s safe.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips. Of all the days that Tao could make any trouble, it would have to be today. Baekhyun knew he could never get angry at his brothers, but this was way beyond reasoning. Tao just put his life in danger once again, and as much as he tried to ignore it, Baekhyun was really scared. He could not fathom the idea of losing anymore of his family. He had always dreaded this day, even though he thought that the next year, he would be ready, he still had not gained enough strength to visit their graves. Yes, he was pretty much sure that he was past the stage of forgiveness, yet he could not get past the stage of forgetting. The aftermath of that certain incident was too hard to take in. Baekhyun had taught himself to guard his feelings that it may have been too much.

On the other hand, just like himself, his father was having a hard time forgetting the events as well. He had always blamed Baekhyun for what had happened, and he refused to believe otherwise. Every year, whenever this date comes, his father would always send him a wreath of flowers. This was how he showed his son that he had never forgiven him, if he was not going to be miserable about it, he would make sure to bring Baekhyun down with him. This mental torture had been going on for years, and his father had no intention of stopping any moment. That was why when Baekhyun saw the flowers from this morning, he went ballistic. Luckily, Jongdae was there, and he had the wreath get rid of immediately. It took a while to calm himself down, as floods of memories went through his head. All the regrets will always accompany him.

When Baekhyun arrived at the apartment with Joonmyun, he suddenly remembered something. This was the first time that he was going to see Chanyeol since the night that he cried at the rooftop. Baekhyun felt his heart beat beating fast. Well, he knew that he would not be able to hide from Chanyeol forever, might as well meet him up soon. But what was he supposed to say to him? Baekhyun did not want to be awkward with him, of all people. He tried to steady his breathing as Joonmyun led him to his apartment.

“I think I’ll just ring the doorbell since they’re already inside.” Baekhyun heard Joonmyun mutter to himself.

As soon as the door opened, Baekhyun almost jumped when he saw Chanyeol towering in front of them.

“Oh it’s you guys,” he said nonchalantly. “I thought you were these guys’ brother. Why are you here, Baekhyun?”

Joonmyun smiled. “Well, because he’s those guys’ brother.”

Chanyeol’s face blinked for a few seconds then said, “Of course you are.”

“Baekhyun-hyung,” he heard Jongin called from the inside. “I didn’t know this was Joonmyun’s house too! What a coincidence, huh?”

Baekhyun and Joonmyun went inside. Baekhyun immediately went to check on Tao, who looked a bit better than what was he imagined in his head. A rush of relief flooded into him. After a few scolding, Tao managed to promise that he would not do anything like that again. Baekhyun still grounded him for a month. Joonmyun insisted that they stayed for the dinner, and he even offered to cook hot pot. Baekhyun, who did not want to trouble his assistant anymore, tried to decline, but Joonmyun did not stop until he said yes. The four high school boys were all delighted to extend their stay. While Tao continued to sleep in Chanyeol’s room, Jongin, Kyungsoo, and the ultimately cute chubby boy (who Tao seemed to like a lot) named Minseok helped Joonmyun in the kitchen. Baekhyun meanwhile, settled himself down on the couch due to the overcrowding in the kitchen.

“So,” Baekhyun felt the couch shifting. “I can’t believe those were your brothers. They seem tall.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Oh, shut up, Chanyeol.”

“So what’s up with you?” He handed Baekhyun a can of beer.

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun asked as he drank from the can.

Chanyeol shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. You just seem out of your game tonight.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun put the can on his lips, but did not drink any. He put the can down on his lap.

“Bad day…?” Chanyeol stretched after he drank a few gulps from his own can.

Baekhyun shook his head. “No, more like I hate this day.”

“That was harsh.” Chanyeol commented. “Why do you hate this day?”

Baekhyun was about to tell Chanyeol to mind his own business, but when he turned to look at the guy sitting beside him, he stopped. Baekhyun realized that for all those times that he had became vulnerable, it was always when he was with Chanyeol. He had given a lot of his emotions away to a person he barely knows, Baekhyun found it strange and fascinating how at ease he could let go. Maybe it was the lack of reactions he received from Chanyeol. No, it was not like that. It was more like Chanyeol did not judge. Sure, he would always say what was on his mind, but he never took it personally. That was why it was too easy. Baekhyun considered this for a second before trying to talk once again.

“I…” Baekhyun hesitated for a moment. “I hate it, because today was my mom’s death anniversary.”

“Oh,” Chanyeol looked at him. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It wasn’t even like that.” Baekhyun tried to maintain his voice. “My mom died in a car crash, but she wasn’t alone. She’s with her lover.”

The last sentence came out as a whisper. He expected that he would be a weeping mess right now, but it did not turn out that way.

No tears came.

When Sehun picked him up from work, Luhan immediately knew something was wrong. The whole afternoon he was worried, because of the man that Sehun was supposed to be meeting. Luhan knew it was a previous client of his, because he had this glint in his eyes that he recognized every time he met someone from his past. As much as Luhan wanted to run back to Sehun, and took his boyfriend away from that man, he did not do it. He figured that if he does that, a lot of explanation would be needed rather than letting it go. Who knows? Maybe that guy would not tell Sehun anything. The truth is Luhan was afraid that Sehun would find out about his past. He dreaded it from happening. He knew that there was a huge possibility of him finding out since they both work in an industry where a lot of Luhan’s previous customers worked in. He knew it was just wishful thinking that he could protect Sehun from the truth. Luhan knew that eventually, he would have to come clean. He just never realized that it would be this quick. He never even had time to prepare a speech for this moment. What scared him the most was the fact that there would be a huge chance that he was the possibility of losing Sehun. He had no strength at all to imagine his days without Sehun’s smile, Sehun’s gaze, Sehun’s kisses, Sehun… Just plain Sehun.

The ride back home was too quiet. No one was saying anything, and it confirmed Luhan’s suspicion even more. Usually, the both of them would tell each other about their day, or just tell sweet nothings. But tonight, this was different. And Luhan knew Sehun was aware of his uneasiness. Everything felt surreal right at that moment. Luhan found it hard to believe that the truth was not sinking in, or rather, he was refusing stubbornly to believe that this was happening. As he looked at the blur of passing buildings outside the car, he bit his lip from trying to say anything.

When they arrived at his apartment, nobody was still talking. Even after they went inside, Luhan did not turn on the light. He figured that the light illuminating his face would give up more than he intended to. Luhan heard Sehun closed the door from behind him, he stood rooted on his spot, with his back on his boyfriend. He knew Sehun was just standing a few feet from him, but the distance between the two of them seemed farther than that. Nobody made a move to erase the gap that was obviously standing in the way.

“Sehun,” Luhan said with trembling lips. “Say something… Anything.”

The pregnant silence that rested between the two of them seemed like an eternity to Luhan. He would have done anything to make Sehun talk right at this moment. He longed to touch the man behind him, but he did not dare. He was afraid he was going to get burnt.

“Why didn’t you tell me.” Luhan heard Sehun say. “Why didn’t you tell me about your past?

Luhan let out a breath of air. He wanted to laugh, but he cannot. Slowly, the ice in his heart was starting to build up. He was pretty sure that he was going to stop functioning anytime soon.

“Does it matter if I tell you?” Luhan heard himself say. It sounded so heartless when he thought about it.

Silence.

“Of course it does.” Luhan heard the restraint in his voice.

“Why?” Luhan continued. Somehow he felt as if his heart was disconnected from his entire being. He felt like he was a robot. “It’s not as if you needed to know.”

“I needed to know.” Sehun said forcefully. “Because we’re…”

Luhan knew he was pushing Sehun away. The way Sehun paused made everything complicated in Luhan’s heart. He knew what was coming. Sehun knew as well, but nobody dared to say anything.

“We’re what?” Luhan tried to push the two of them to edge some more. At this moment, he just wanted to fall. “We’re what, Sehun? What are we? We’re fake. We’re just in an arrangement. We’re just playing a game. I don’t really think there’s a need for…”

Luhan felt his arm being yanked, and he soon realized that Sehun had him pinned against the wall. They stood there eye to eye. Luhan saw the fear manifesting on the other’s eyes, obviously reflecting his gaze. Nobody dared to look away.

“Have you heard the way he talked about you?!” Sehun’s face was filled with anger. “How he called you names, how the way he described you like you were just an object that would be sold at any price?!  How he talks so lowly of you because you were a…”

But it seemed like Sehun was not going to finish his sentence. Luhan bit his lip. “Say it, Sehun.”

Sehun just looked at him with no intention of opening his mouth.

Luhan felt a lump on his throat as he opened his mouth to talk. “How he talks so lowly of me because I was a ? …a ? …a e?”

Luhan saw the anguish on Sehun’s face when he heard those words. “It’s pretty much the same as sleeping around, Sehun. The only difference is that, I was getting paid.”

Luhan felt his breath hitch as he felt Sehun’s grip on him tightening. For the first time, Luhan broke their eye contact and looked at his side. From the light illuminated from the moon, Luhan saw the back of Sehun’s hands, and the fresh scars that was imprinted on them. Seeing them, Luhan’s heart began to shatter into pieces.

“Sehun,” Luhan said in a low voice. “You’re starting to hurt me. It hurts a lot.”

Sehun’s grip loosened in a slow pace.

“I think you should leave.” Luhan said finally.

Sehun turned around, and walked towards the door. He paused as he held onto the doorknob.

“Luhan, I never really cared how you were a or a or a e. What I cared about is the fact that you don’t love yourself enough. Because if you lay down a million different versions of my lifetime in front of me right at this moment, I would choose the one where I have the version of the Luhan that was by my side right now. No matter what his past may be, it’s the main reason that led him right next to me.”

Luhan listened with his eyes closed with his back against the wall. His hands were balled into a fist so that he could restrain himself from running after Sehun. When he heard the door opening, he brought himself to ask Sehun one last question.

“Hey, Sehun,” Luhan called. “Remember the night when we first met?”

Luhan was not sure if Sehun would respond, but eventually he heard his voice. “Of course, it was the night at the playground.”

Luhan made sure that the door was closed when he finally spoke once again.

“Wrong answer.”

At that time, Luhan finally let himself go. He finally permitted the tears to begin falling. He sobbed shamelessly on the floor. The back of his right hand covering the sounds that were being produced from his mouth. Even though the two of them did not say anything, they both knew the truth behind their cryptic words. At one point or another, they both knew.

The both of them finally lost the game.

Oh, so much angst in this Chapter.

I did not expect that it would take this long to write this. Oh well!!^^

I cant believe I put another SHINee member cameo in here. I dont' know why everytime I write my updates, my SHINee feels are always high.

Anyway,

Okay I know... Guys, easy on the tomatoes, okay? Some of you might be bothered by the fact that I made some 'badboys in this chapter. But all in good time my dears.

Gah I can't even....

Thank you so much as always, especially the fact that you guys stuck by me even though I updated after a long time.

Thank you, Thank you!

Don't forget to comment or something! You can ask me anything if you got confused about something~

Just not for spoilers, okay? lmao.

Thanks for reading!

And thank you to the wonderful comments, I appreciate them all!!

Till next Chapter~

Jaa nee~