It had been a month.

Things weren't even close to becoming fine and dandy and the rest of the members didn't know what to do anymore. Himchan's plan failed horribly, there wasn't a doubt about that and Daehyun and Youngjae were too stubborn for the rather intelligent thought-process of the maknaes. Despite the fact that they had with each other, the moment Junhong and Jongup pulled Youngjae away from the room while Daehyun was in the shower, it was as if Youngjae didn't care about Daehyun's existence. In the three days that he was kept away from Daehyun by the ever-cheery and upbeat maknae line, Youngjae hadn't said a word about the other. Himchan and Yongguk noted the same thing when they took Daehyun, the younger barely saying a word. If in the beginning, things were rather light-hearted and happy, it wasn't now. Everyone was suffering, lifeless, weak, confused, sad, lethargic. It was as if they all had forgotten what happiness was.

Himchan was worried, Junhong spaced out constantly, Jongup forgot to smile, Daehyun barely exhanged any words, Youngjae was struggling with bulimia, and Yongguk didn't know what to do anymore. However, despite everything, they all pretended that they were doing fine. Reason being that they were all clinging desperately to the hope that time would heal all their problems.

It started with a kiss. One kiss led to two, and two soon became three, and before they knew it, heated touches somehow became involved and everything kind of just downspiraled from there because after the third time they did it, became a ritual for Daehyun and Youngjae. A daily ritual for that matter. As for the downspiraling going on, well, things downspiraled even more so now than when Daehyun first stepped into the TS training room as B.A.P's sixth and final member, taking on the role as lead vocalist. Which consequently was also the fateful day he first met Youngjae and where most of their seemingly insolvable issues and problems with each other sprouted to the surface nonstop like blood red, poison fungi on steroids. Problems that could have, possibly, been avoided if the two of them simply looked past their differences instead of always pinpointing each other's flaws.

But then again, as fate would have it, and since life could be such a PMSing at times, things didn't go as smoothly. Obviously, considering the position these two were in.

Ever since the day Youngjae and Daehyun agreed to have that sort of relationship, things took a turn for the worse and all the nights after that day, Youngjae found himself crying next to the toilet bowl for some reason he refused to pinpoint, puking his insides out when he was sure everyone in the dorm was fast asleep. He tried so hard to convince himself that it wasn't because of insecurities or weaknesses. But when trying to justify his actions no longer mattered to him, he simply let himself go.

The darkness quickly set in and before anyone knew it, dinner time passed. Like any other day, he stood up, from the table, plastered a fake smile on his face for show, and offered to help Himchan with the dishes. Youngjae knew his own little routine all too well. After he cleaned up, he would tell the others that he would go shower with a chuckle and hum and once he the shower to drown out the noise, he shoved to fingers into the back of his throat and threw up the remnants of his dinner.

And just like that, Youngjae flushed the contents away. His shame, his guilt, his self-proclaimed weakness. The only witness to his self-harm was a wall which couldn't talk and himself.

At first, things weren't as ed up as this. In fact, it seemed as if things were about to go back to normal, even. At least, that's what Himchan thought and hoped for after seeing both vocalists' relatively passive behavior the day before the maknaes were supposed to drag Youngjae away from Daehyun and lock him up with them. But when, quite out of the blue, Daehyun began firing numerous verbal attacks on a certain blonde who happened to just step out of the shower with nothing but a tiny white towel sitting snugly (and dangerously low) on his hips, Himchan knew the civil attitude between the two was too good to last. And of course, since Yoo Youngjae never went down with a fight, he stormed towards the elder lying down leisurely on his bed and started yelling at him with all sorts of curses and taunts filled with scorn that would make even sailors cry.

When their faces were close enough to the point where Youngjae's minty breath fanned the elder's tan skin, Daehyun seized the opportunity he created for himself and crashed his lips with Youngjae's, successfully muffling the curses the younger reserved for him. Sensing that Youngjae was about to back away and slap him, Daehyun grabbed the other's slim but slightly fleshy waist and hoisted the younger boy on top of him, placing his hands firmly on his back as to prevent Youngjae from escaping his hold. Eventually, Youngjae gave in to the feeling of Daehyun's chapped lips working against his, deeming the feeling of being wanted and the pleasure and lust from the heat of the moment too good to be ignored.

One by one, the constricting articles of cloth covering them flew off and landed, temporarily forgotten, on the wooden floor. Skin on skin, tongue on tongue, touches were rough and dancing around the territories of animalistic. The air around them grew more suffocating by the second, the temperature rising steadily to an almost uncomfortable heat, the knowledge of what they were doing was wrong crept slowly up the pathways of their hearts. Almost. Everything was an almost. The pure lust and need countered the borderline unbearable conditions. Love wasn't part of that and both parties were more than willing to work and keep it that way. Mutual boundaries were created once again, similar to the time Daehyun had first met Youngjae.

They both had needs, they both wanted the feeling of being needed. The two were more alike than they wanted to be and they wanted, no, needed to erase that fact. They hated how the other was basically a mirror reflection of themself, flaws and all, acting as living memory from a past they were so close to out-running. Rubbing into their faces how weak they once were, and still are. So the only solution to their problem was to erase it and replace it, and there was nothing the others could do to stop them.

So the moment Daehyun walked into the room, semi-drunk, sporting an idiotic grin on his face and undeniably high on God knows what, Himchan exploded.

A harsh, solid slap was delivered and then Himchan sank to his knees and sobbed. Following him were the maknaes who were crying in each other's arms. In this time, Yongguk chose to watch in the background and wonder how things ended up like this, and why he let it happen.

Ignorance and blind hope. They all fell victim on their own accord.

Ok, so this might be a bit boring and there was a time skip but.....IDC anymore. I actually really really like writing this, despite the lack of regular updates (I"M SO SORRY. T-T). If you guys like it or not, I'm sorry. But thank you all so much for reading and sticking with me. LET ME LUVS U ALL. To those who have subscribed, I hope you know what you got yourself into xD LOL. Anyway, I'll explain things eventually if you think it's a bit confusing. For now, I shall send you off with cookies and tight PANDA hugs~ I love you all, seriously. Thank you for putting up with this fic.

Me Outtie~