“Are you insane?!” Youngjae yanked Junhong and the rest of his lanky body through the door of the restaurant and sat down like usual.

“Maybe, but that’s not important.”

"Do you think we're part of some soap opera or drama or something? Did that brain freeze from earlier really affect your brain?" Youngjae leaned forward to tap Junhong’s head, the younger swatting his hyung’s wandering extremities away from him.

"I don't...think so?" Junhong ended with a great big smile on his cute, dimpled face. He was starting to feel like saying that line wasn't exactly the best thing to do at the time. He didn't regret it, but maybe he should have said it at a different time. Then again, there was no time like the present, right? Well, he could be wrong, but it was a little too late for backsies now.

“Then why are you asking me to run away with you? Junhong, we belong in B.A.P. Imagine how much your fans would-”

“They’d miss you too, hyung,” the younger pointed out, lifting his arms to rest them on the table. The red sleeve of the aeropostale rode up a bit, showing a small expanse of his pale skin.

By this point, Youngjae was ready to flip a couple tables and bang his head on the wall next to him. Was Junhong insane? Seriously, who the hell in their right mind asks someone to run away with them out of the blue? No one but Junhong, of course. Youngjae knew he shouldn’t have been so shocked since this was Junhong after all, but then again, he really wasn’t expecting anything this extreme.

“That’s not the point! Junhong, we can’t-”

“But hyung, we’ll only be gone for a day!” and so began Junhong’s bargaining. “I’ll do your chores for a month, I’ll cook for you, I’ll room with you, I’ll do anything! I promise it’ll only be a day. We’ll leave tonight and we’ll come back the day after tomorrow. We’ll even leave at exactly eight in the morning, if you want! Just, come with me hyung, please?” the pleading tone in Junhong’s voice almost made Youngjae break. Almost. But, the elder knew he had to be strong at the moment. Junhong was only acting out of  sugar-induced rashness from the ice cream. Youngjae knew very well how Junhong became after he just had ice cream. This was probably the ice cream talking. Again.

Just like it was the ice cream talking when Junhong promised to send Jongup Chris Brown for Christmas, or when he agreed to sign a marriage contract from a fan during one of their signings, and lets not forget the time when he decided to switch from rapping to singing in the training room (Youngjae thanked the heavens that that decision changed in a matter of minutes).

“But why, Junhong? Why now?”

“Why not? I think it’s the perfect time!” Junhong argued back, resembling a child who was being deprived of having a stuffed animal. “We have no schedules until Monday next week. We’ll be back by Sunday, Youngjae-hyung. I mean, sure Manager-hyung might kill us and Yongguk-hyung and Himchan-hyung might never let us leave the house, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.” The younger boy’s argument was ended with another cheeky grin.

The sound of a slap resounded throughout the room as Youngjae planted a firm smack on his own forehead.

“But Junhong...”

“But what?”

“We can’t.”

“Hyung, we’ll be gone a day. A day. Nothing more than that, alright? If you want, I’ll even call up Manager-hyung and-”

“Look, Junhong. That’s real sweet of you, but we just can’t, okay?”

“But-”

“It’s a no, Junhong.”

“Can you at least give me a reason?”

Youngjae stared at the brown orbs looking back at his, the eyes pleading for him to say yes. He knew Junhong deserved a reason but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He broke the connection by closing his eyes and reading the menu in front of him. He needed to play it cool and brush off the matter as best as he could.

“I’m sorry.”

The older didn’t dare meet eyes with the younger in fear that if he did, he would give in and say yes. Instead, he tried focusing on the words in front of him, trying to read them line after line to forget the conversation they had. No words were exchanged for a couple minutes since the both of them chose to cut the conversation short and pick out their orders.

The waiter finally came over, black apron tied neatly behind their back, holding out a pen and notepad to scribble down their orders.

“I’ll have one order of pad thai, please.” Youngjae peered above his menu, eyes scanning a few more times to see if he wanted anything else. “Oh, and some steamed dumplings too.”

“One pad thai and steamed dumplings. What about you, sir?”

“I’ll have panang curry, please.”

The two simultaneously shut their menus, piling them up on the corner of table by Youngjae’s elbow.

“Anything else?”

“No, thank you.”

“Your order will come shortly.”

With a nod, the waiter grabbed the menus and scurried off, attending to the other group of customers who just walked through the glass door. The room glowed a soft amber, the light touching the tips of the pink petals of the orchids sitting on the window sill. To their right, a small panel of pictures covered the wall, the lines of inked trees and cherry blossoms ran delicately throughout the separate pieces of rice paper. All in all, Youngjae couldn’t help but feel at peace after basking in the glow and the warmth of the cozy restaurant. The golden walls imitated sunlight and it made Youngjae feel all fuzzy and happy on the inside.

“If I was a waiter, I think I’d be drawing faces on my notepad half the time,” Junhong broke the silence, causing Youngjae to snap out of his reverie and respond with a snort.

“Yeah right. You’d probably be drawing love umbrellas with your name and-”

“Hyung!”

He was relieved to know that Junhong decided to drop the whole ‘run away with me’ subject.

---
 

“You are such an , I swear,” Himchan grumbled, shoving Yongguk for the millionth time that evening.  “Since when were you that aggressive?!”

“I don’t know what came over me. I’m just so disappointed, Himchan. Of all people, Daehyun was the last person I expected to do such a thing. I don’t want them to go down the wrong path, Himchan.

“But still, Yongguk! He didn’t deserve that crap you had to put him through! Didn’t you see how his hands trembled on the table? The boy’s gone through enough.”

“Who are we to say what they do and don’t deserve?” Yongguk walked to the couch with Himchan following in suit. The younger of the two switched on the T.V., flipping through channels before settling on  the movie, “Good Will Hunting”.  They both stared blankly at the screen until Yongguk spoke up once more. “You know, my mom taught me a long time ago that bystanders don’t matter. At the end of the day, the decision you made was your own and sometimes, if you make the wrong choice, you have to pay dearly for it.”

“They’re still kids, Yongguk! They don’t know any better.”

“Look, Himchan. I want to protect them as much as you do. But, they have to grow up at some point too and face the world. We can’t always be there to shield them from all the ugly things and pretend that everything’s okay. They need to learn that not all things will have happy endings and not all good people live good lives. It’s just the reality of things. So, we either guide them or we let them go on the wrong path and grow up without truly living.”

“I’d rather they not experience the pain.”

“Sometimes, pain helps a person grow stronger.”

“How strong do we have to be in order not to hurt?”

With that question, Yongguk turned his head to face Himchan who did the same. They stared at each other for a while, both rendered speechless. The two remained in that position, not moving, until the time came when Yongguk realized his answer and turned away again.

“Pain is what teaches us what happiness is like. To not hurt is to not truly feel happiness.”

---
 

“If you change your mind, the offer’s still valid until midnight, hyung.”

Youngjae almost dropped the black-inked pen he was using to sign the bill.

“You’re really persistent, aren’t you?” he raised an eyebrow, finishing the computation for the tip in his head and jotting down the rest of the numbers. Here he thought Junhong had actually dropped the whole thing and took his answer of ‘no’. Youngjae knew he was stupid for believing that Junhong would give up that easily.

“Well, if I wasn’t, I don’t think I’d be a part of B.A.P.”

“I guess you’ve got a point.”

The two members of the maknae line stood up and shuffled to the door, swinging it open to let themselves out. Greeted once again by the chilly night wind, they huddled closer together as they made their way back to the dorm. Both felt stupid for not accepting their Manager’s offer to pick them up after they were done. They just had to be stubborn and say something about exercise and whatnot.

Putting their hoods up to block some of the wind blowing their way, Junhong saw a familiar figure at the corner of his eye. In an instant, he was dragging Youngjae by the arm to the convenience store a couple shops down from the thai restaurant they exited not even two minutes ago.

“Wai-Junhong!” Youngjae found himself being dragged through another solid glass door (he almost faceplanted it, to be specific) by Junhong. “Oi! What’s the big ide-”

“Jongup-hyung!”

“Talk about serendipity,” Youngjae looked on with an amused expression on his face. “Better give them some alone time.”

By the time Junhong made a move to call out to Youngjae, he was gone (that was thirty minutes later, mind you).

“How’d it go?” Jongup asked, patting the seat next to him to signal Junhong to sit down. He handed the younger a small carton of strawberry milk which he gladly accepted. Jongup watched as Junhong stabbed the box with the straw and take a slurp before answering.

“He said no.”

“Told you.”

“Be quiet!”

“You’re the one being loud.”

“Whatever, whatever.” Junhong waved his hand dismissively, making sure to hit Jongup in the process. “I did tell him that the offer’s valid until midnight.”

The older blonde nodded his head thoughtfully, drinking the chocolate milk slowly as he pondered some things in his head.

“Your best bet is the window in our room.”

The curly-haired boy sighed, setting his box of strawberry milk on the round, metal table.

“This is Youngjae-hyung we’re talking about, Jonguppie-hyung. Once he makes up his mind, he rarely ever changes it.”

“I’m pretty sure we can make a rope of clothes to help you out the window.”

“Isn’t someone persistent today?”

“At least I remembered to buy bread and cereal for the dorm.” Jongup defended, pouting slightly and delivering a good punch to the younger’s arm.

“Hey. I’m not a punching bag, you jerk. If you’re gonna punch someone, go punch Daehyun-hyung. He needs some sense knocked into him.”

“So does Youngjae-hyung.”

“Well, there’s no A without a B, is there?”

Jongup merely gaped at the other, having lost him when it came to inserting single letters into conversations that were supposed to mean something.  Junhong laughed at the other and patted him on the back.

At least Jongup was Jongup again.

---

Youngjae knew that it was always in the middle of the night when his troubles came crawling back to him. It was always after the moments when he switched off his light and plopped onto the mattress, the moment when the moonlight beamed directly through the window and hit the foot of the crinkled blankets of his bed. It was always the time when he stared up at the ceiling above him and listened to the clock tick rhythmically in the background. For some reason, realization always seemed to crash down on him in the times when he felt the most alone.

When he managed to arrive through the front door a couple hours earlier, he was surprised to see a sleeping Yongguk on the couch with Himchan right next to him. Both had their arms folded and their heads leaning back, snoring lightly into the otherwise quiet room. What surprised him more, though, was that Daehyun was already fast asleep in their room. Usually, by this time, the elder vocalist was still up, ready to throw remarks about him to piss him off before he went to shower.

The dorm was peaceful for a couple hours, only the sound of Daehyun snoring quietly in the bed across from him keeping him company. He knew he fell asleep at some point but ended up waking up again because of another nightmare. They were coming up more and more recently and it was always about the same thing. It was always him surrounded in blood and carrying the limp body of his friend.

“Jungsu, what do you think I should do?” Youngjae whispered, nibbling on his bottom lip out of habit, wanting someone to answer him. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to find the right answer to all his problems. He felt like a little kid again, lost and alone on the playground while everyone else had someone they could call a friend. It was pretty stupid, he knew that much, but he couldn’t help but want everything to have an answer already. There were so many things left unsaid and so many questions left unanswered and so many possibilities for the future that Youngjae wanted to just stop and see if any of those vague uncertainties were going to be answered. That’s if they were ever addressed again.

He didn’t know how long he laid there, trying. All he knew was that when he checked his digital clock glowing neon blue in the night, it was already 11:53 and he was sure that everyone was fast asleep. Though his brain was screaming at him to stop, his gut was telling him to leave. Quickly he pushed himself off the bed, carefully opening the drawers to grab the necessary clothes and belongings for the trip. He stripped himself of his pajamas and pulled on a pair of jeans and a random white shirt before taking off. Slowly he shut the door, cautiously so that he wouldn’t wake anyone who didn’t need to be woken up.

His heart pounded in his chest, thudding almost painfully in his ribcage. He tried to step as lightly as possible while he made his way to the two youngests’ room. He passed by the stairway, hoping that he wouldn’t step on a loose floorboard and give off his position. With a few more steps and a turn of his wrist, Youngjae managed to enter the maknae’s room and let out the breath he had been holding in.

“It took you long enough, hyung.”

Youngjae jumped and clutched at his rapidly beating heart.

“Oh God, Junhong. You scared me again!” he whispered, going closer to the younger who was sitting with Jongup on his bed. He heard the two younger boys laugh a little before they too stood up from their position. “Jongup, you were in on this too?”

“Yep. Now, we better make this quick.”

While Jongup took out the long, rope of shirts and pants, Youngjae went by Junhong’s side and helped him pack a few clothes in his ivy green duffle bag. He could see the smile plastered like tape on Junhong’s face and he couldn’t help but smile as well.

“How’d you know I’d say yes eventually?”

Junhong looked at him, eyes practically glowing with happiness.

“I didn’t.”

Hello, my loves~ Looks like I'll have to keep this note short b/c it's 12am and I still have school and I need to shower OTL. LOL. Anyway, thank you all for subscribing, commenting, upvoting, and supporting this fic! I love you all so much. It really does mean a lot to me and I'm happy to know that people actually enjoy what I'm reading. ^-^ *tosses cookies*

Me Outtie~