Tears don’t Fall

---

 

 

“Dr. Kang? How did the tests go? How’s my sister?” Hyoyeon mustered all of her courage to ask the doctor about Taeyeon’s condition.

 

“Ms. Kim, your sister’s brain seems to have sustained minor damage.” The doctor tried to ease Hyoyeon, he sensed that she is extremely worried over her sister.

 

“based on the MRI, we’ve determined that her limbic system particularly her thalamus and amygdala took most of the damage.” Hyo started calm down, luckily Sunny is always beside her.

“Hyo, please don’t cry we still need to hear the rest of what Dr. Kang has to say” She held Hyo’s hand and calmed her down.

 

“The Thalamus relays messages to the cerebral cortex. Since the thalamus is damaged; it accounts for your sister’s loss of motor functions.” Dr. Kang paused and waited for Hyoyeon to calm down.

 

“The amygdala on the other hand, stores memories that are associated with emotional events. Since it has also sustained some damage; it’s very likely that you’re sister has a form of memory loss that may be associated with anything traumatic or emotionally damaging for her.” Dr. Kang removed his eye glasses and massaged his eyes.
 

“Doctor please, tell me will she be able to fully recover?” Hyo asked rather weakly

 

“Yes; therapy, medication and a lot of rest will certainly help your sister. As I’ve said before your sister will fully recover but it will take a lot of time.” Dr. Kang reassured Hyoyeon. The latter just nodded and weakly smiled.

 

“How about the amnesia you mentioned earlier… will she regain those painful memories?” Hyoyeon asked
 

“Ms. Kim with regards to the amnesia, if there is really no need for her to remember those painful memories, I suggest not forcing her to remember but if in case her memories come back it would be best that you and your friends would be there to support her.”

 

“Should we just tell her what she forgot or should we just wait it out?” Sunny asked

 

“Ms. Lee it’s best that you let things naturally happen, like I said earlier don’t force her to remember. It might do more harm than good.”

 

“Thanks Dr. Kang, I really appreciate everything you’ve done for my sister.” Hyo bowed to Dr. Kang after she got up from the couch.

 

“Aniyo, there’s no need for you thank me Ms. Kim, as her doctor it is my responsibility to do everything I can for your sister.” Dr. Kang smiled for Hyoyeon and excused himself as he had to make his rounds for his other patients.

 

 

Tiffany

 

 

LET'S GO!!!!

 

With bloodshot eyes I watch you sleeping

The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading

 

It’s been a couple of days already since TaeTae first woke up, yesterday Dr. Kang had her go through an MRI and a few other tests. Hyo and Sunny just left awhile ago to speak with Dr. Kang. Leaving me alone to take care of TaeTae; I watched her sleeping peacefully, I sat closely beside her bed. I didn’t want to leave her side. I know I caused her a lot of pain and I know I am the one to blame for all of this. I know I don’t deserve to but I hope I can have a chance to make things right.

 

I reached for her hand and held it tight. It might be wrong but it felt right for me to hold her hand. I unconsciously smiled a little but my smile didn’t last long when I felt TaeTae move a little causing her hand to slip away from me. The warmth I felt from her hand slowly faded and at each passing second I sorely wanted to regain that warmth I get from holding her hand. I reached for her hand again but I stopped myself when I remembered… the day TaeTae left me.

 

 

Would she hear me if I called her name?

Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

 

 

 

“TaeTae~” I rubbed my eyes I woke up, I heard someone opening the door, I knew it was TaeTae, she’s been drinking lately with Soo, Yuri and her sister Hyo.

 

“Go back to sleep Tiffany. Go now to your room.” I watched TaeTae walking past me she didn’t bother to look at me.

 

“Tae~ please forgive me… p-please?”

 

“Forgive you? How could I!? You threw everything away! All of this to you is nothing! Everything to you is nothing! I’m leaving this house tomorrow; I’m so sick and tired of you Tiffany!”

 

It broke my heart over and over again when she said those words to me, how I wish I could take back everything that I did to her. I begged her, I didn’t want her to leave, not seeing her again is the worst thing she could ever do to me… and it is what I dreaded the most.

 

 

The following morning I woke up early and headed straight to TaeTae’s room

 

 

“Tae… Please don’t leave… don’t leave, I made a mistake please… forgive me.” I fell down to my knees and I tried to reach for her hand but she didn’t seem to hear me. I watched her walk away.

 

“You don’t need me around; I can’t stand to be here in this house, with you… I can’t live in this house of lies and with you in it.” My vision was foggy from crying, I heard the keys clanking down the floor. I picked up her keys and I slowly watched her walk out of the door and into her truck.

 

 

There's always something different going wrong

The path I walk is in the wrong direction

There's always someone ing hanging on

Can anybody help me make things better?

 

 

TaeTae when you walked away I became a mess, I became destructive, whenever I was at work all I ever thought about was you. One day I just exploded, I felt so disgusted with myself that I quit my job. I couldn’t stomach all of the people around me especially Wooyoung… he reminds me of my shame… he reminds me of you, the most important person in my life that I took for granted.

 

“What!!!!??? Ms. Hwang you shouldn’t do this, please reconsider… you’re one of our best writers we couldn’t afford to lose someone of your caliber.” My boss was surprised out of his boots when I handed him my resignation letter, my dad waited for me outside my boss’ office.

 

“I’m sorry Mr. Park, it’s just that I really need to leave, I’m leaving for the States and I might never come back, after everything that I’ve been through… I just need to be somewhere else.” I bowed to him one last time as I walked out of his office.

 

I opened the door and was surprised when I saw Wooyoung sprawling on the floor with a bloodied face while gripping his stomach.

 

 

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

Her conscience calls

The guilty to come home

 

 

“You!!! Piece of trash!!! Thanks to you I lost who would have been my daughter-in-law! And thanks to all you people my daughter’s a mess!” I’ve never seen my dad this angry before. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the building.

 

We were already in the car and dad had just started the car’s engine and began to drive away. I looked at him and he didn’t even look or speak to me. I wanted to talk to him but before I could even say a word…

 

“Do you know that Taeyeon was already preparing to propose to you? Remember that dinner she prepared for you back then?”

 

“She even called me ahead to tell me about her plan, she wanted to surprise you so asked me to keep it a secret.” Dad didn’t even look at me; it’s as if he’s too disgusted to even look at me.

 

I remembered that dinner…

 

 

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

Her conscience calls

The guilty to come home

 

 

I entered the house and I could still faintly smell the wonderful aroma of the dinner TaeTae prepared. Damn, I totally forgot that we were supposed to have dinner. But work got in the way, I had to do overtime. If only I didn’t have to meet that ridiculous deadline my boss gave me I would have been out of the office earlier. I tiredly opened the door and I saw TaeTae sitting in the couch, she really had pissed off look on her face. Sigh… how can I fix this now!? But I really have no energy to deal with this now… I’m too tired and I’ll fix this another day… right now I’m just bushed from all the work. She had her arms crossed and was waiting for me to explain…

 

“Mianhe~ TaeTae… I really had a long day at work; I had to meet the deadline…”

 

“B-but?! Why didn’t you call me, do you know how hard I worked to prepare all of these?”  I watched her point to the food she prepared on the table; I know I was stupid not to call her. But I just didn’t see any reason why she would make a fuss out of it.

 

“Mianhe~ TaeTae” I tiredly replied as I took off my heels, they were killing me.

 

“Could you at least still have dinner with me, Pani-ah please?” She begged me to eat with her, I know I should… but I already ate.

 

“Oohh… uhm... sorry TaeTae I already ate at the office; Wooyoung bought some food for us.” I rubbed my neck and replied to her meekly, I know she’s going to hate me more.

 

She didn’t speak a word and got up from the couch and started to put away everything on the dinner table.

 

 

Stupid! Idiot! I should have realized that she was planning to propose to me that night. Idiot! Dumb ! I slapped myself and cried silently, as my dad drove us back to the house.

 

The moments died, I hear no screaming

The visions left inside me are slowly fading

Would she hear me if I called her name?

Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

 

 

Hyo and Sunny returned to the room, they had just finished talking with Dr. Kang. I could see that Hyo’s eyes were swollen, I don’t know what Dr. Kang told them but I’m hoping for good news. Against all odds I’m hoping to hear something good.

 

“Hyo? What did Dr. Kang say?” I asked her, it’s been hard and for awhile she didn’t like talking to me, but she finally came around and became a little more trusting of me. I know I have to thank Sunny for changing Hyo’s mind. She wouldn’t have allowed me to stay beside TaeTae.

 

“Fany-ah… please calm down okay? We’ll tell you everything Dr. Kang told us earlier.”

Hyo held on to Sunny’s hand as she told and explained everything that Dr. Kang told them. I couldn’t even say anything; all I ever did was cry.

 

“Fany-ah don’t cry… please stop crying we need to be strong for Taeyeon’s sake” Hyo comforted me and encouraged me, I was a bit surprised… I didn’t think of all people she would be like this. I just nodded and wiped away my tears.

 

“Fany-ah, when TaeTae get’s out of the hospital someone needs to take care of her full time, we can’t ask YoonYul to take care of her because of Yoona’s sensitive pregnancy and SooSica are busy with work.” I looked at Sunny who was a little worried as she played with her and Hyo’s fingers.

 

“Although Sica would most likely help you out most of time but she also have some responsibility with her and Sooyoung’s restaurant. Seo on the other hand well… she’s currently busy with her doctorate so I can’t be certain if she would be able to help us a lot…” I just nodded and continued listening to Sunny.

 

“Lastly Hyo and I are going to be busy with our song and dance studio. For the next 3 months we have to train a group of upcoming female pop idols”

 

I’m actually glad that I get to take care of TaeTae, what else should I be doing anyway? All I know is that I need to be next to her. All I want to do is take care of her and I really meant it when I said that I won’t give up on her. However part of me is scared I’m afraid that TaeTae might hate me when she regains the memories she lost. I’m scared that she might just push me away. But even if she did that I won’t give up, I will prove myself to her even if it takes a lifetime.

 

“Don’t worry Sunny, Hyo you don’t ask me cause I will take care of TaeTae and this time I’ll never leave her side and I intend to keep my promise this time.” I confidently smiled for them.

 

“Fany-ah… you do know that if Taeyeon regains those painful memories she might push you away…” Hyo reminded me what I was thinking about earlier…

 

“Hyo, I know… and I fear that more than anything… but even if she hates me and pushes me away I’ll never leave her side.”

 

 

There's always something different going wrong

The path I walk is in the wrong direction

There's always someone ing hanging on

Can anybody help me make things better?

 

 

For the months that followed I took care of TaeTae and accompanied her for her therapy sessions. Most of the time it was just me who took care of her but occasionally whenever they had some free time the girls help me out; specially Hyo, Sunny, Jessi and Soo. Yuri on the other hand was rarely around, although she still doesn’t talk to me. She was certainly around whenever she had time to. She’s been very busy working and taking care of Yoona. I just learned that Yoona is now in labor and is about to give birth to her and Yuri’s first daughter. I would have wanted to go but TaeTae just is in no shape to be left on her own.

 

“Hey, TaeTae~ do you know that Yoona just gave birth to a daughter? Jessi sent me a text message earlier.” I talked to TaeTae as she sat down on the wheelchair while looking at the sunset. We were at the balcony of her beach house.

 

“TaeTae, you need to get better soon, because I really miss you and I also have a lot to say to you. Of course you also need to get better soon so that you could meet your best friend’s daughter.” I smiled and cupped her cheeks. I really hope she’ll recover soon.

 

A week has passed and things seems normal, Yuri and Yoona came over and visited TaeTae. I’m not entirely sure if Yuri would even bother to see me so I tried to stay away from her.

 

“Hey! Fany-unnie! How you doin’ these past few months huh?” Yoona hugged me after I opened the door for her, Yuri and their little angel. She looks so cute she looks more like Yoona than Yuri that’s for sure.

 

“Omo! Yoong~! Look at you! You’re s just got bigger!” Yoona chuckled while I was surprised that Yuri laughed at what I just said.

 

“Yah! Mushroom! You’re erted as ever! Yul take a few steps further away. I don’t want our little Krystal to catch the Byun virus!” Yuri just nodded and went to TaeTae. Showing off her daughter.

 

“So you decided to name your little angel Krystal?” Yoona just nodded and showed her signature alligator smile.

 

Yoona and I started catching up, while Yuri stayed close to TaeTae. I never imagined that these two would have a baby together. Well they have been pretty much the most solid couple in our group. They rarely argue and have been together for the longest time. Afte what seemed like an hour of talking with Yoona, I heard the loudest cry ever!

 

“Uwaaahh!! Oooowwaaahhh!!!!!!” Baby Krystal woke up and cried, it appears that she’s hungry already.

 

Yuri became rattled and hurriedly went to Yoona’s side. She carefully handed baby Krystal to Yoona, Yoona carefully placed baby Krystal on her arm as she lifted her blouse slightly so that she could feed Krystal. Of course I looked away I didn’t like to get a peek at her . I’m sure I’ll get in trouble with Yuri if I did. I left them in the couch and I went to the kitchen to get some refreshments for Yoona, Yuri and me.

 

“Excuse me okay you guys?  I’ll just get something for us to drink and munch on.”

 

 

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

Her conscience calls

The guilty to come home

 

 

I was busy in the kitchen, preparing some iced tea and three slices of cheese cake. I didn’t notice Yuri had walked in on the kitchen.

 

“Here let me help you with that…” I looked up and was surprised when Yuri helped me slice the cheese cake.

 

“Yul— I… you don’t have to…”

 

“Tiff, I’m sorry if I was cold to you, it’s just that I couldn’t forgive you and I just couldn’t help but get angry…” Yuri continued slicing the cake; she didn’t look at me although I could certainly see her blushing a bit.

 

“Yul, I understand and believe me I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to punch me back then. Honestly more than anyone I was afraid of you the most; I know I hurt you a lot.”

 

“I know that you’ve been TaeTae’s protector since you guys were kids, I know she means a lot to you… I know I’ve said this countless times already but I just want you to know that I’m really sorry for everything that I’ve done.” I held Yuri’s hand and apologized sincerely.

 

“I know Fany-ah… and thank you… I know I’ve never said this to you when you arrived but I also believe that you’re the only one who could bring Taeyeon back to us.”

 

 

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

Her conscience calls

The guilty to come home

 

OH!

 

YEAH!!!

 

 

We finished preparing the refreshments and walked out of the kitchen and entered the living room. Yoona is still feeding Krystal and TaeTae well she’s barely moved and as always spaced out. Yuri went beside Yoona and fed her bites of the cheese cake. I certainly envy them, seeing how sweet they are makes me miss the times TaeTae and I had back then. I smiled and tried to feed TaeTae some of the cheese cake.

 

“Open your mouth TaeTae~ I have some yummy cheese cake for you~!” I giggled and showed TaeTae my eye smiles as I slowly moved the piece of cheese cake closer to .

 

She opened and started chewing the cheese cake. There were some smudges of cheese cake on left on her lips. I thought I should wipe it off but I had another idea.  I don’t know if it was right but I was just caught in the moment.

 

“Omo! TaeTae~ you have some cheese cake on your lips let me clean it for you~!” I kissed her lips and away the cheese cake on her lips. Yoona and Yuri were surprised with what I did but they were more surprised when…

 

“P-pani-ah~” TaeTae spoke for the first time in months it felt so good to hear her speak my name. I was so shocked that I immediately started crying and hugged her tight.

 

I called everyone up and pretty soon HyoNy, SooSica and Seo arrived at the beach house. Hyo and Sunny arrived first. That night all nine of us got together on a more pleasant and happy occasion.

 

 

This battered room I've seen before

The broken bones, they heal no more (no more)

With my last breath I'm choking

Will this ever end? I'm hoping

My world is over one more time!

 

LET'S GO!

 

 

The months that followed things were more enjoyable for me and TaeTae. She could clearly speak and hold a conversation. I remembered how confused she was when she started asking about the things that happened while she wasn’t herself. She was so surprised to learn that Yuri and Yoona now have a daughter. It took awhile for her to be accustomed to things. Specially since she still can’t walk although she can move her arms and fingers. But what I worry about most was the fact that she still didn’t remember what happened to between us… my infidelity… our break up… her suicide attempt. The only thing she knows about her situation was that she was in the hospital because of an accident and that we… we are still together.

 

“TaeTae~ can I tell you something…” We were in the balcony gazing at the stars and the crescent moon. The sound of the waves hitting the beach were so soothing it helped me relax and have the courage to tell her about the things that happened between us.

 

“W-what is it pani-ah?” TaeTae looked at me and wondered what I was going to tell her.

 

“TaeTae, I’m not you’re girlfriend anymore… you broke up with me…” TaeTae was surprised and she looked at me wondering if I was joking.

 

“Come on Pani-ah stop kidding around why would I break up with you? You’re the one I love and the one I want to spend the rest of my days with.” She held my hand and tried her best assure me that she loves me. Tae how could you love me if you remembered everything that happened between you and me?

 

“TaeTae… I made a serious mistake… I broke your heart and cheated on you… *sob~* I took you for granted because I didn’t stay strong *sob~* I b-became weak and I betrayed you… I-I cheated on you *sob~* with my old co-worker Wooyoung…” I started crying as I told her what I did… I covered my face and continued crying.

 

I was surprised when Taeyeon wheeled herself closer to me, I didn’t notice that she got out of her wheelchair and wobbly walked in front of me. She supported herself with the balcony’s railings and she got in front of me and kneeled down in front of me and hugged me tight.

 

 

Would she hear me if I called her name?

Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

 

There's always something different going wrong

The path I walk is in the wrong direction

There's always someone ing hanging on

Can anybody help me make things better?

 

 

“Pani-ah… please stop crying, I don’t know what happened between you and me but even if I knew everything all I know is that in my heart… I never stopped loving you.” TaeTae cupped my cheeks and looked me in the eyes, her eyes were red and puffy, I could see a tear forming.

 

“B-but TaeTae I-I caused you so much pain… *sob~* if I didn’t hurt you, you wouldn’t have to hurt yourself *sob~* how could you love me when *sob~* I was the reason behind your attempt to end your life…”

 

 

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

Her conscience calls

The guilty to come home

 

 

I felt something weird when I felt TaeTae tightening the hug even more. I felt her cringing and as if she was in pain. I felt her breathing heavily but as I tried to pull away from the hug she held me in place. I could hear her groaning slightly in pain.

 

“TaeTae what’s wrong?” I became alarmed and tried to check what’s going on

 

“Are you okay?” I managed to ask her

 

“My head hurts…” TaeTae stifled a reply as she gritted her teeth.

 

For awhile she hugged me tightly and didn’t seem to respond to me. I felt her nuzzling her head on my shoulder. I became extremely worried I don’t what’s happening to her. I just hope she would tell me what’s going on? I know I couldn’t pull away so I hugged her tighter and whispered to her ear.

 

“TaeTae are *sob~* TaeTae*sob~* please don’t leave me I love you *sob~* all I want is to be by your side… I don’t deserve to have you but I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to have you back in my arms again.”

 

Your tears don't fall

They crash around me

Her conscience calls

The guilty to come...

 

 

TaeTae pulled away from our hug, but I was surprised when she kissed my forehead and wiped my tears away with her thumb. I blushed and stopped crying; I looked at her and saw the most loving pair of eyes looking at me. She looks at me the same way she used to look at me. I don’t know if I deserved her but I just felt guilty. I turned my head away from her…

 

“Pani-ah… please don’t cry… I still love you and that never changed. I tried to take my life away because without you I will never be complete. Without you I am nothing.” I don’t know why but could it be that she finally remembers everything? I looked at her I could see that she knows what she’s talking about.

 

“Pani-ah you brought me back to life and if you didn’t stay by my side I wouldn’t be here today. You kept me alive; you’re my reason for living.” TaeTae cupped my cheeks and kissed me lovingly. I felt shivers down my spine and I felt like we were kissing again for the very first time. She broke our kiss and asked me…

 

“Tippani Hwang Miyoung can we start again?”  I smiled happily and nodded as I leaned in and kissed her lovingly.

 

 

*Here’s the third chapie of The End of a heartache, enjoy you guys! Please read, comment and subscribe! ^_^ *

 

 

-AnDroGeNie-