It took a while for Junsu to calm down, but Yoochun showed no motion to move away from him. After 15 minutes he had stopped shaking, after another 10 minutes and he had stopped crying but Junsu kept on clinging to his roommate tight.

"Are you ok?" Yoochun asked quietly as he Junsu’s hair to the side of his face, 30 minutes after everything had begun.

Junsu nodded his head slowly.

"Want to go to bed? I can tell someone you're going to stay in here for the rest of the day."

Junsu nodded again before Yoochun helped him to stand up. He felt embarrassed being this weak in front of other people, especially those who knew about him and was close to him. Even though he and Yoochun hadn't known each other for that long, he found it easy to think of people as his friends, and now Yoochun was one.

He lay down on the bed and Yoochun pulled the blanket over him, "Are you cold?" he asked.

"No," Junsu answered, "I don't know why I'm still shaking..."

"It's ok, it'll calm down soon," Yoochun assured.

Junsu looked up at the other boy, "Yoochun?"

"Yeah?"

Junsu hesitated and Yoochun sat down at the end of the bed, "What?"

Junsu sat up, folding the blanket around him and faced the other, "Why did you make all the scars?"

Yoochun looked down at his arms and Junsu continued, "You wanted to die, right?"

Yoochun sighed, "Sometimes I did, sometimes not."

"Why would you make all those scars if you didn't want to die?"

Yoochun gave a stiff smile, "When you hurt yourself, it's not always directed to suicidal thoughts."

Junsu frowned, "Then why would you-"

Yoochun stood up, "Why does it matter?"

"I-I'm just asking," Junsu whispered, regretting he even asked.

Yoochun looked at the floor, "Then stop asking about things you don't know about, will you?"

Junsu moved closer to the edge of the bed, "I was just ask-"

"I don't want to talk about it! Haven't you realized that yet?!"

The raised voice took Junsu by surprise, "Don't yell at me..."

"Then don't ing ask about it all the time!"

Yoochun groaned loudly and Junsu watched him carefully. This was a new side of his roommate he hadn't noticed before, and it was scaring him. Why didn't he want to open up? He had already opened up to him about a lot, but he just stayed as closed as ever.

"I... I'm sorry," Junsu said.

Yoochun sighed, "Get some rest, ok?" he turned to his own bed and picked up his phone, "I'll be going, see you later," and he left the room.

Something inside Junsu felt like it was breaking and the urge to cry once again overtook him. Had he gone too far? He knew Yoochun always avoided those kinds of questions so why did he keep on asking? Why didn't he think before he opened up his stupid mouth?

"Why am I always like this...?"



15 minutes later he laid covered by the blanket top to toe, secretly hoping the carbon dioxide would overtake all the oxygen. It was indeed getting harder to breathe, and the crying from before had made his throat thick and his nose swollen, making it even harder.

He had only himself to blame that Yoochun was angry at him, just as he had himself to blame that he couldn't save his brother.

"I can't even kill myself properly," he mumbled to himself.

Right then he heard the door open,

"Junsu?"

Junsu opened his eyes wide, it was Yoochun.

"Junsu, where are you?"

Junsu removed the blanket, sitting up slowly, feeling the fresh air hit his lungs. Yoochun looked like he had been running, because he was panting heavily.

He walked towards Junsu and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, I lost my temper."

Junsu blinked, "I-it's ok."

"I'm not angry at you, so well... um, I'm sorry. Let's watch a movie or something tonight, ok? Check the internet after something you want to see," he scratched his head, "I just wanted to tell you that. Bye."

A smile spread all over Junsu's face, as Yoochun left the room once again and nearly jumped out of the bed, opening Yoochun's laptop.


---


It was dinner time and Junsu walked down to the big room where all the "stable" patients had their meal together with nurses. Junsu didn’t like eating there, since seeing all the other people somehow made him feel sick. They were scary, really scary.

Junsu picked up one of the food boxes lined up on the table standing near the doorway. Some kind of spaghetti was served today, and it didn’t look tasty.

“Make sure you eat a lot and keep the strength up!”

Junsu jumped at the voice coming from behind him and turned around – it was a nurse.

“I know it’s not the best food in the world, but just drink a nice soda with it and it will go down,” she winked at him.

Junsu nodded awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

“With spaghetti, lemon soda is the best if you ask me,” she continued with a smile, “I can get one for you!”

Junsu looked at her walking into the kitchen, and then noticed Yoochun entering the hall.

“Oh, you’re here,” Yoochun said as he reached him, “Didn’t think you would eat.”

“Started to get hungry, but I don’t know if I’m hungry anymore. Look at this,” he showed Yoochun the spaghetti and he started to laugh.

“Just wash it down with some soda and it’ll be ok,” Yoochun smiled and took a box for himself.

Junsu looked surprised, “The nurse said the exact same thing.”

Yoochun looked up as the kitchen door opened and the nurse came out with a big lemon soda bottle in her hands, and started to laugh as he saw her.

“Aah, that is Jane,” Yoochun said and greeted the nurse, “She’s the only one I actually get along with here.”

The nurse greeted Yoochun cheerfully and Junsu looked at them, curious.

“Here’s the soda!” she smiled and handed Junsu the bottle, “Hope you’ll like it! Have to go now though, talk to you next time Yoochunnie!”

Yoochun nodded and waved her goodbye with a big smile.

Junsu looked at the other with raised eyebrows, “Do you like her or something?”

Yoochun turned to him, "No, she's more like a sister to me.”

“Sure,” Junsu rolled his eyes and gave Yoochun the soda bottle, “Let’s go.”

Yoochun smirked, “Hey, are you jealous?”

Junsu turned around, “Why should I be?!”

Yoochun burst out laughing, “Calm down, I'm joking!”




Once they were back in the room, Junsu walked to the laptop to show Yoochun what movie he had picked.

"This one?" Yoochun said and leaned forward to read the synopsis, "Yeah sounds good."

Junsu smiled as Yoochun picked up the laptop, putting it on a chair, pulling it close to the edge of his bed.

"How many pillows?" Yoochun asked holding two pillows in his hands.

"Huh?"

"Well, it's uncomfortable to only have one pillow to support your back," he gave Junsu the two pillows. "Put them against the wall," he said and walked to get the pringles he had stored in the cupboard.

After the pillows were in place, they made themselves comfortable beside each other on the long side of the bed and Yoochun pulled the cover over their legs. When everything felt warm and cosy enough, Junsu reached forward and pressed the play button on the screen.

As the intro started, Yoochun cleared his troath, "Um, before when I came back, what were you doing?"

Junsu stared at him, "What?"

Yoochun rolled his eyes, "Looked like you were playing hide and seek under your sheets."

Junsu looked away, "Oh, I was just... warming myself up."

"Sure you were."

Junsu snorted, "It doesn’t matter, does it."

Yoochun shrugged, "Pringles?" he asked and gave him the package who Junsu took gladly.



The movie was good, and they both sat glued to the screen, taking a chip once in a while. Junsu noticed Yoochun moving closer during the movie and their thighs were now touching.

Junsu didn't mind skinship, since it was something that he did himself without even thinking about it - it was a common thing in South Korea, but this time it kind of made him feel uneasy. He felt nervous and the warmth of Yoochun's leg against his didn't help.

He tried to focus on the movie but seconds later Yoochun moved, crossing his legs so that nearly half of his right bended leg laid over his left one. Junsu froze, the funny feeling forming in his body and he felt his face getting warm.

"Hey, what's the matter?"

Junsu looked to the side and was met by Yoochun's eyes, "You're all red!"

He laughed at him, and Junsu quickly put his hands against his cheeks, "It's just too warm, let's remove the sheet."

Junsu pulled off the cover, and took the opportunity to move a bit away from the other. The cold air felt good as his roommate no longer was touching him.

"Better?" Yoochun smiled at him.

Junsu smiled back, "Yeah,"

They continued watching the movie until the end and talked about it afterwards, smiling and laughing together.


~~

AN: Happy late Halloween everyone! hope you went to nice parties ;)