Junsu opened his mouth to reply, but somebody big and strong (and so dead, if Junsu had anything to say about it) pushed him roughly from behind.  He choked on his words and spun on his heels, intent on giving the offender a piece of his mind and a punch to the shoulder.  Nichkhun raised his hands guiltily but pushed Chansung towards him, who grabbed him around the throat and whispered furiously, “Jin Young-hyung is coming!”

Junsu’s eyes widened and his brows flew to the top of his forehead as his brain careened and jack-knifed into a very solid steel wall.  He had completely forgotten that his CEO would be coming to speak to them.  Everything was just happening too fast.  The exhaustion of their concert, wrong feelings escalating too fast in the most inopportune of moments, that growing closeness and comfort that could only lead to disaster, it was all too much.  Junsu suddenly felt very tired. 

“Ah, just the person I wanted to see,” Park Jin Young was a small man but that didn’t make any difference.  He was as intimidating as heck and his reputation as an eccentric jokester and adoring father figure did not lessen his keen acuity and shrewdness.  Everybody suddenly froze and fell quiet.  The tension stretched tightly.   JYP went straight to Junho and clapped him on the shoulder lightly, but Junho felt his nails dig too deeply that he knew that he was in for it.

“We missed you in our little meeting.  I didn’t even congratulate you yet on a very job well done. You should not have ditched us just because you’re cherished one was missing.  She was here with Junsu the entire time.”  He waved his arm back to gesture at Junsu. 

“I’m really sorry, hyung,” Junho bowed respectfully.  He knew that JYP hated it when not all the members would join his mini-congratulatory meeting after big public events like this.  As CEO, his schedule was packed and almost never permitted any allowances, so he couldn’t afford not to stick to how things were ordered and he used the little time they had after these kinds of events to inform them of important information. 

But when Junho suddenly found So Eun missing, he panicked and assumed the worst.  The Korean paparazzi and sasaengs were ruthless in their pursuit of the meatiest scoops about their target groups and Junho definitely did not want any of them near So Eun, so he ran out with Chae Won in tow and both searched high and low around the stadium to find her.  Good thing that she was just with Junsu hyung in the next room.  He knew that of all the members his oldest hyung would be the one he could trust the most to take care of her.  Still, he would have to ask him why he and So Eun were acting rather oddly…

“It’s just that So Eun went out and we couldn’t find her.  Crazy people already tried to get to her when she arrived so I panicked and didn’t think and I ran to look for her all over the place.  Please, forgive me, hyung.”

“Oy, I guess it’s quite alright,” To Junho’s relief, JYP swung his arm around him and patted his back.  “I knew what it was like to be young and…well, just don’t do it again.”  Junho lowered his head to hide his blush.  Hyung always had to embarrass him like that!

“Well, it seems like we haven’t been introduced yet by my hotblooded son, so I’m Park Jin Young.  Kim So Eun, then?”  JYP walked to So Eun and held out a hand.  So Eun took it and bowed.  His grip was firm yet impersonal, like a true professional, but she felt some iciness in his demeanor when he smiled at her.  So Eun was not stupid.  She knew that her stint in “Music and Lyrics” have gained her and Junho a following that desperately wanted and even expected them to be together in real life and news articles in recent weeks have suggested that this notion was turning out to not just be some sort of elaborate fantasy dreamed up by delusional fans.  But she also knew that the kpop world does not subscribe to such ideas because their primary currency came from fans who wanted their boys unattached and available. No is good enough for their perfect oppas, after all.  It would only be a detriment to Junho and to the group if Junho would pursue his affections for So Eun and JYP knew it.  She could almost see the subtle disapproval coming at her in waves. 

So Eun dared to turn around and peek behind Junsu’s shoulder to So Min when Chae Won had captured JYP’s attention.  She knew he was a big fan.  He was all sweet beams and indulgent affection when he greeted her.  So Min clutched at Taec (wasn’t she just eyeing him hostilely a few minutes ago?) her eyes bugged out and staring at JYP’s back.  So Eun caught her eye and So Min bit her lip, her gaze filling with pity and concern.  So she saw that, too. 

“Don’t worry about him,” Junsu’s voice rumbled low from somewhere near her forehead.  His breath blew gently against her cheeks.  She shivered.  “He’s harmless.  All he can do is look tough and frown nastily but he’s really not going to stop the two of you.”  He uttered the last three words quietly.  Easy for him to say.  She could still feel goosebumps in her arms from when JYP fixed her with a look that shot daggers, even as he grinned and told her that she was even more beautiful in person.

Wooyoung, thank god, shattered the silence (save for JYP’s chatter) with his usual appropriately guileless arrival.  He looked around at the people gathered in the equipment room, all whom seemed speechless all of a sudden (then again, Jin Young-hyung was talking and he has never seen anybody get a word in edgewise when that happens).  This alarmed him since everybody should be happy and excited.  Their concert was a huge success and everybody loved them!  This was no time to be standing around, looking grim and hushed.

“Jinyoung-hyung!”  Everyone jumped and turned to Wooyoung.  They had forgotten about him.  Boy, could he shout.  “We’re tired and hungry and you only told us useless things during your mini meeting so I want to relax and enjoy now!  Let us go to that club across the street!”  Ever the King of Tact, that Wooyoung, but everyone was grateful at his interruption.  Trust him to snap everything back to reality.  The other members whooped and clamored for the same thing as the girls chuckled nervously.  Chansung and Nichkhun tackled Wooyoung and clung to his neck. 

“Alright, fine.  You can go, but let me speak to Junho first.”

“What for, hyung?”  Junho turned to So Eun, but JYP pulled him outside the room.  “I have something important to discuss with you.  It won’t take long but it is important so you can just follow them.” JYP pointed at each one of his charges. “You all can go ahead and leave.  Junho can go by himself.  Don’t have too much fun because there are things in your schedule tomorrow.  Oh, except for Junsu.”

Junsu looked at him, confused.  “That’s why you don’t miss meetings, fool.  I let you off easy because it wasn’t something big.  I’m giving you the weekend off since I would need you 24/7 next week, no complaints and no questions.  Got that?” Junsu nodded, still dumbfounded.  Not something big, his right buttcheek.  What the hell would he need Junsu so desperately for?  JYP never gave any unauthorized, hastily scheduled vacations.  The other members eyed Junsu jealously and grumbled. 

“Oy, but So Eun needs to be properly disguised if she’s going to go outside!  They might recognize her and do something bad!”  Junho turned to Junsu.  “Junsu-hyung, you take care of her, okay?”  Both Junsu and So Eun tried to protest but Junho and JYP was gone.  Aish. They turned to look at each other then back away.  There was something in the air between them, simmering with repressed emotions and words unsaid.

“Ok, here’s what we’re going to do,” Junsu pinched the bridge of his nose then touched a finger to the fan pinned at the crown of her head.   “I guess we’ll have to take these off first.  Then, we’ll have to braid your hair, put it to the side then cover your head with a hoodie.”

“Are all these “preparations” necessary?” So Eun asked wryly, using air quotes.  She waved her purse at him. “I have a scarf and shades with me. I can just use them again.” But Junsu just shook his head and exclaimed that crazy people had crazy feelers for recognition and they worked with scary accuracy so they had to devise a method to better hide themselves in public. In fact, he gloated that his years as a trainee had endowed him with a very good kooky radar and bragged that he was also very good at the art of evade and escape.

So Eun just shook her head.  He was so odd.  In fact, the situation they found themselves in was indeed very strange.  It was as if nothing happened the past few minutes.  It was as if the moment they shared did not happen at all, and So Eun didn’t like that thought.  Because when it got down to it, So Eun really felt happy during that time of candidness and quirkiness.  She had felt so buoyant and free.

To distract her thoughts from its sudden unwelcome turn, she looked at her other friends.  They didn’t seem to be faring better.  Chae Won had her brows furrowed as she held out the dark and heavy coat that Nichkhun had proposed she wore.  She shook her head and argued to the poor Thai prince.  So Min was being her usual stubborn self, but she was actually complying with Taecyeon, who smiled cheekily at her.  So Eun had to remind herself to talk to her later about this new development. She felt a light prick at her head. 

“Ow!” So Eun clapped her hands at the area instinctively.  Junsu ignored her glare as he began taking off the heavy pins one at a time.  “Sorry, but I had to do it.  You would feel better if you took them out now.” She sighed and took out the gem drops, which connected like a net, from behind her head.  When all of her sageuk hair accessories were taken out, she immediately felt better.  Though her scalp still itched, at least her head felt lighter. 

“Sorry,” he smiled faintly at her but she wouldn’t let his charm work at her this time (how did he manage to look so dashing without even trying?).  She was still hurt at his actions and tone earlier.  “Why?” she demanded, frowning.   “The hair doesn’t matter.” 

“It does, actually.”  Junsu swept his fingers through her hair, sending little tingles that reached the tips of her toes.  She felt heat spread from her neck all the way to her ears.  She must be glowing red, lighting up for all to see, but nobody paid them any attention.  Raucous laughter burst out from behind them as Nichkhun finally got Chae Won to wear the coat, tie her hair back, and put on big framed glasses, making her look like a little kid playing spy.  She was not amused.

But So Eun and Junsu didn’t notice. “What are you doing?” she managed to stutter out.  His actions felt so intimate.  Junsu did not know what came over him but seeing tears spring up from her eyes when he pulled the heavy fan pins stirred something in his chest so he threaded his fingers and moved them through her hair to ease the irritation.  He knew it was a mistake so he willed his fingers to drop to the lower part of her long hair and braided it to the side.  He distracted himself by pulling a heavy coat across her shoulders, putting the hood over her head, and finally pulling away.  “You look…” She looked perfect and still beautiful. “…ready.”

He shouted at the others, who were still teasing Chae Won.  “Let’s go! Stop teasing her, you morons.  You’re giving kpop idols a bad name everywhere.  We’re not brainless monkeys who cackle annoyingly, y’all hear!”  The members chucked their hats and scarves at him.

Walking towards the club, which was only a block away, was not an easy affair.  They had to keep their heads bowed and they had to hurry along as they tried to slip quickly and silently between the people on the streets.  It wasn’t even midnight yet so there were still plenty of people out and about.  Chae Won looked enviously at Khun, who had her tucked underneath his chin, because the guys sported only shades, long scarves, and hats.  The heavy coats were really overkill.  “We’re almost there, noona.  It’s all going be worth it because the club is awesome!”  He grinned wildly at her and she melted.  He was so heartbreakingly cute and adorable, with his deep brown eyes, straight nose, long eyelashes, and baby cheeks.  Not to mention, he lived up to the title of Prince by patiently wearing her down with a gentle voice and proper mannerisms.  No wonder So Eun named him her ideal type.   She smiled back encouragingly, her optimistic spirit back and it was Khun’s turn to melt.  He tightened his hold around her, hoping for a chance, praying, because this was a girl who was blunt and playful even as she was warm and elegant.  He has never met anyone quite like her.  It was only a short time that he has known her, but he really wanted just one chance. 

On their other side, So Eun and Junsu had to keep uncomfortably pressed up to each other.  His arm was around her, a hand clamped on her head, as he practically carried her.  So Eun tried to match his pace, but she kept stumbling and tripping kept secure only by his hold.  It didn’t help that they could smell each other’s scent and feel each other’s breaths.  “Could we go slower?” So Eun pleaded.  Her feet (and heart) can’t take anymore of this.  Junsu looked down at her panting face and cursed himself for forgetting.  “Your shoes?”  So Eun nodded. “They’re screaming!  They hurt so much I could almost hear them, I swear.” Junsu guffawed, unable to stop himself.  She’s just full of surprises. “It’s not funny!”  Junsu knew that.  His mind reeled as he tried to come up with a solution.  He turned back to her.  “I’ll fix it. I promise.” Would you?, she wanted to know.  She wasn’t even talking about the shoes anymore. 

“I’m really sorry, and not just about the hair either,” he admitted.  She looked up.  His eyes were trained ahead but his expression looked softer.  “Oppa was an idiot.  It’s because he didn’t know what to do.  Stuff like that wasn’t supposed to happen, but it just did.  Do you know how scary that feels?” So Eun pressed closer, wordlessly accepting the apology because his sudden honesty affected her.  Did he feel the same way she did, astray and perplexed, at everything that’s happened in just a single night?  She thought that it would be awkward if she voiced it out loud but she actually felt better by this confession.  Silence would only make it worse so it was better to get it out in the open.  But there was something in his statement that bothered her.

“Oppa is not an idiot because at least he admitted it.  I was the coward who made it a big thing.”  She paused and thought about her next words.  She was not some kind of radical feminist, but her parents taught her independence and strength. Who was she to question the teachings of those older and wiser than her?  “Who said that stuff like shouldn’t happen, anyway?” He stared at her, startled.  “I didn’t like your implication, oppa.  I can decide on my own what should and should not.  Still, I was pretty scared, too, so you’re not alone.” He couldn’t help but admire her forthright manner at handling the situation.  She was no damsel in distress, that’s for sure.  (And he still wondered why he felt the way he did, so quickly? His mother always did say that the heart chooses no place, time, nor person.  It just beats.)  But it made things more complicated. Still, he savored that sentiment. You’re not alone. No, he definitely didn’t feel like he was.  But why did it mean so much more? She smiled at him, shy with a pink tinge on her cheeks.  “I forgive you, by the way.” He was dazzled. She felt like she was floating again, the pain on her feet gone and forgotten.  It was the start of so many things and their emotions were raw and scrambled, pulling and fighting, drifting and swaying. But everything felt, even if it was just for that moment, as it should be.

Chansung and Wooyoung walked silently behind.  They scratched their heads and looked at each other curiously as if the world has suddenly gone mad.  Taec and So Min were all smiley as they whispered at each other, the whole world forgotten, so different from their initial impressions of each other.  She was quite pissed when he almost throttled her and he was taken aback at how feisty she was.  Their argument nearly evolved into a shouting match, but Taec inadvertently prevented it by making a joke (Taec-hyung was such a softie, sometimes.  He always injected humor even when situations became sticky just because he didn’t want things to go wrong.)  It was corny and didn’t make any amount of sense, but So Min unexpectedly sniggered and everyone else joined in at the absurdity of it all.  Taec finally dropped his “beast” reputation and really talked to So Min as himself, all corny jokes and trippy feet and dorky laugh and man-child persona.  So Min only took a few seconds to become endeared. Chae Won and Nichkhun couldn’t meet each other’s eyes after that one look, but even the two saw their glowing faces and shy smiles.  Khun was no talker and Chae Won was no explosive and brutally frank So Min, but they didn’t need words to express their attraction.  They couldn’t see Junsu and So Eun up front, and, frankly, they didn’t even want to think about it because they knew how deep Junho’s feelings went and Junsu wouldn’t try anything that messed up their group dynamic.  So Eun was still Junho’s special person and they knew that even imagining an alternative to that was only going to end badly.  So Wooyoung turned away from the thought, content and satisfied that things didn’t become too bizarre, but Chansung still held on. 

Though the youngest, he often saw things others didn’t because he thinks too much and didn’t let issues go.  He had seen how shaken up Junsu was when Junho proclaimed dramatically that he was going to bring So Eun backstage after the concert, so rattled that he had scrambled madly to the safety of the recording room.  When they found them, he also saw how the two looked at each other, as if nothing and nobody else existed, their feelings undeniable.  Chansung was bothered because he knew the storm that would inevitably result if this attraction was not nipped in the bud.  Idol groups were held together by mutual trust and when it’s gone, it would be nearly impossible to reconcile the members, no matter how much they tried.  (Which was what exactly went wrong during the Jay debacle.  No amount of trying could fix what went wrong at that time.) Chansung knew that Junho had rightful claim by virtue of having met So Eun first, getting closer to her more than any other girl he had ever met, and expressing his desires clearly to his brothers so that he explicitly made known that So Eun was untouchable, but that just sounded so wrong.  Because So Eun was not a thing to be made dibs on.  She was a living, breathing human being fully capable of making her own decisions so if she chose Junsu, was that really so bad? Besides, it was about time Junsu had somebody who made him happy.  He more than deserved it as he was always their silent pillar of strength, who cared for them at the worst of times and who was a true leader that didn’t ask for recognition even as he complained and protested that they needed to get their own s together because he was too old a hyung to do it for them.

  He knew that So Eun and Junsu wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize 2PM.  They weren’t selfish and they cared about Junho way too much, but would it be asking for too much if Junho would be the one to step aside for two people he cared about?  He was fickle, after all, his passions quick and bright but burning out just as fast.  Did he even stop to think about what he really felt for So Eun beyond their whirlwind initial meeting?  That would be so Junho, desires burning bright yet fading out just as quick.  Chansung’s head hurt.  Everything was just messed up.  He looked up.  The skies were clear and the moon shone replendescently, blissfully ignorant of the troubles that plagued mere mortals down below.  It must be the full moon making everyone go crazy.

A song drifted in the wind

I don’t know you but I want you

All the more for that

Words fall through me and always fool me

And I can’t react

“You know, oppa,” the honorific flowed easily from So Eun’s tongue.  “You really are kind.  Thank you for everything” Junsu wondered again at how random she can be.  They had arrived at the club with no further incidents.  The others had already gone inside.  The two had hung back to give So Eun’s feet a breather.

“What are you talking about?”

So Eun just shrugged.  “It’s just that, you made things so much easier and you always thought of the others before yourself.  I can see, you know.  You don’t have to say anything.”  She meant it, too.  He was one of the kindest men she met and she owed it to him to follow his example.  This was it.  No matter how she felt and no matter what potential this has, she would not pursue it.  She would put her foot down and use her head, not her heart.  She bowed.

“Do you know that it’s bad when people say things they don’t mean?” he barked.  So Eun looked at him, shocked.  But he didn’t really seem mad…

“Don’t say thank you If the other person didn’t do anything to deserve it,” he continued, softer this time yet still gruff and with arms folded.  “It’s too precious.  And don’t call me kind because I don’t deserve any of it.  Don’t say it again unless I really do something for you that would warrant any thanks, got it?”

So Eun nodded.  Ok, she wouldn’t in the future.  She beamed.  He smiled back.  He held out his hand and she took it.  Then, they went inside to their waiting friends.

Wooyoung and So Eun was chatting amiably when Junho finally joined them.  They were sitting at a VIP room while the crowd hollered and partied downstairs.  The boys, who usually brought girls and other VIPs in the room, opted to just chill with the lady friends that accompanied them tonight.

“You’re here.  We missed you,” So Eun smiled up at Junho when he plopped down next to her.  He swung his arm to embrace her to him.  His expression was withdrawn, so unlike the happy go lucky guy that So Eun had talked to in Skype and the phone increasingly since the month they spent together doing their variety show.  She rubbed his arm, but she pulled away, suddenly uncomfortable.  “Something wrong?”  Junho shook his head and glanced down at her.  “It’s nothing.  Hyung just wanted to talk about things.”

“Mind talking about it?  That was pretty weird of him,” Chansung sat across from them, nursing a beer.  “Nah, I shouldn’t but you’ll hear about it pretty soon.”  Junho looked around, sensing somebody was missing.  Khun and Taec were lounging on the far corner of the room, also drinking, while So Min and Chae Won looked down at the dance floor below, fascinated by a girl and a guy dancing to a strange dance called bachata.  They looked like foreigners and they danced pretty damn well.

“Where’s Junsu-hyung?” 

“Right here.”  Junsu had returned from when he disappeared right after dropping off So Eun.  He was carrying a small bundle in his arms.  “Good of you to join us, kid.  We thought Jin Young-hyung has eaten you alive.”

“Haha, funny.  And you damn hyprocrite, where did you come from?” 

“Taking care of your responsibilities.  You haven’t even noticed, did you?”  Junsu plopped the bundle on So Eun’s feet.  So Eun peered down, surprised.  They were a pair of shoes, black with pink stripes. 

“Oh,” she whispered.  She looked at Junsu, eyes widening.  “For me?” 

Junsu nodded.  “You can’t take back thank yous so I had to work backwards and give you something to be grateful about.”  He smirked.  “Besides, you don’t want to hear those screams anymore, do you?  They must sound awful.”  So Eun laughed with him.  They were staring into each other’s twinkling eyes, sharing a quiet joke all their own.  It wasn’t a very good one, but it didn’t matter one bit. 

Junho frowned but squashed the uncomfortable feeling of being left out.  Junsu-hyung was just being nice and he was grateful that somebody was also concerned about So Eun.  Junho’s mind was out of it the whole night, so anxious was he about the concert and JYP’s talk didn’t help matters.  He admitted that he had completely neglected the girl he claimed to like so much yet couldn’t even provide a nice pair of shoes for to help her hurting feet.  He looked critically at the shoes.  So Eun didn’t really like pink and the shoes were two sizes too big for her anyway.

“Hyung, thanks for the concern, but those shoes doesn’t really suit her.  I’ll go ask noona--,”

“No,” So Eun approached the shoes with glee.  “They’re perfect.”  She took off her shoes then her socks and proceeded to put them on, but they obviously fit too big.

“Here, look, you can do this.”  Junsu knelt at So Eun’s feet, took off the shoes, and picked up the other footwear she discarded.  He rolled the socks and stuffed them inside the big shoes.  He inspected the red silken shoes before doing the same.

“Hey!” So Eun protested.  “Those are set pieces!  You’re ruining them.  I’m supposed to bring them back.”

“Well, which is more important, the actress or the costume?  They can replace these easily, but if you hurt yourself, they are off worse than if I didn’t use the shoes.”  Junsu rolled his eyes as she pouted.  He was right, but it still didn’t make her feel any better, but her vexation didn’t last because when Junsu put the shoes on her feet, they fitted snuggly and comfortably.  Her feet felt warm and toasty.  “I guess you’re right,” she admitted grudgingly.  She fixed her with a look of gratitude that made him feel the same way: warm and toasty and nice.  He coughed unable to meet her gaze.

And Junho looked on, unable to explain that sudden weight in his chest.  So Eun looked to him, glad and ecstatic that her feet were feeling better and Junho grinned uneasily.  There was nothing else he could do because he liked seeing her like this.  It just hurt (a tiny bit) that it wasn’t him who made her look that way.  He suddenly felt a flash of jealousy and hurt, but immediately felt guilty afterwards.  How could he even think that about his beloved hyung, who took care of him when he felt down and pessimistic and who made him laugh with his eccentricity whenever he was too serious and impatient?  He shook his head and turned back to So Eun.  They started chatting away about every subject they can touch on having missed their late night talks the last few week due to the comeback preparation.  It was a lively and carefree talk full of laughter and teasing, and Junho forgot his earlier troubles.  As the two became absorbed with their conversation (with occasional interruptions by So Min, Wooyoung, and Taecyeon.  Chae Won and Khun were talking softly in their own corner, oblivious to the world, while Chansung lapsed into silence, just watching the couple), Junsu watched and listened, a sad smile on his lips, but nobody noticed.

“I’m sorry that we had to go early, but time waits for no one, especially an actress!” So Eun cutely saluted the members as the three girls bowed goodbye.  It was 30 minutes pass midnight when So Min declared that they had to go.  Amidst protests, Chae Won and So Eun nodded in agreement and got ready to go. 

“I promise to call you,” Junho told So Eun as he helped her up and followed them to the top of the staircase.  “I want to see you more since we’re really back in Korea this time.  I swear I’ll try to spend more time with you.”  So Eun nodded and promised the same.  They heard snickers and tittering in the background.  Wooyoung teased Junho about the nature of his bold declarations: all talk and no act, but Junho just punched him on the shoulder and tackled him to the couch.  Taec snarked about monkeys and empty words and Junho pulled him in.  The rest laughed whilst shaking their head.  Boys will be boys.  “Junsu-oppa,” So Eun called out to Junsu, who stood apart from the farewell group, watching the people downstairs.  He looked up.  She bowed.  “Thanks for the shoes again.”  She hesitated.  “It was a nice night.”  Junsu just nodded.  Yeah, he supposed that was one way to put it.  The girls gave one last wave goodbye, having turned down their offer of walking them to their car, and went downstairs. 

The boys sighed longingly as they watched their backs disappear below until they were out the door.  Now, those girls were something else.  “So, it seems like some people got some explainin’ to do!” Wooyoung hollered as he turned to Khun and Taec, who still had their looks trained at the girls’ wake.  They snapped back to attention at their unofficial maknae’s loud voice.  What was he saying?

“Come on, we could totally see it, how you two were drooling after Chae Won-unnie and So Min-unnie!  Whatever happened to our infamous and notorious noona killers.”  Taec fixed Chansung with a look that would have rendered him dead and Khun threw a pillow at him, his face reddening.

“Well,” Khun stuttered.  “They are very pretty.”

“But we’ve met pretty girls before…”

“Well, she’s different!”  Everybody looked surprised at Taecyeon’s outburst.  The big man suddenly looked shy at their scrutiny.  He cleared his throat. “I meant that, um, that uh, their Kim So Eun-shi’s best friends!”  He turned to Junho for an escape.  “They should be treated with respect and cared for because So Eun-shi is important to Junho, who’s important to us.”

Junho frowned at his hyung.  “Don’t use So Eun-ah for an excuse!”

“Aigoo, why is everyone shouting?”  Junsu languidly went over to squeeze between Khun and Taec.  “What’s so bad about liking them?  These two are single and they are single, too.  It’s not like its dating time already, merely admiration and having crushes.  I bet you two are just jealous.”  Chansung and Wooyoung dropped their jaws indignantly, but Junsu patted them on the head roughly.  “Now listen to hyung, and stop talking so loudly.  I’m tired and sleepy.”  He stretched and went to the open window.  The breeze felt good against his skin.  The lights of the city still couldn’t obscure the beauty of the moon and the stars that shined down on him.  He felt at peace.

The other members joined him.  “You know, hyung,” Junho nudged him with his elbow, his mouth smirking and his eyes bright.  “You actually made sense there.”  Junsu shoved him lightly.  Of course, he made sense.  He always did.

“Wow, we’re really back, huh?” Wooyoung said in a hushed tone.  He looked out in the city with wonder and awe.  He forgot just how beautiful the skylights looked at night.  They dotted the green and gray landscape with elegance and grace.  It moved him to silence.

“Yeah, it’s been a long time.” Khun said quietly.  “I’ve missed it, this city.  It might not be my hometown, but I hold it dearly in my heart.  I think it’s because I’ve found a family here that proved that you don’t have to have the same blood to share the same heart.”

“Yeah” Junsu simply breathed out and all of them put their arms around each other, content and blissful, because no matter how crazy their lifestyles get and no matter how bad the things they have to go through to reach the top, they would not stop.  They would keep on fighting and pushing and being the best they can be because they were 2PM.  They were the beastly idols that had good and decent hearts who wanted a normal life but can’t because they were who they were and they wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Junsu remembered their trials at the beginning.  Each member were already acquainted in one way or another, but Junsu had always been the most distant and reserved, having been raised by a taciturn and silent father.  Furthermore, he would always pick making music over social interaction so the others naturally drifted from him.  It was Junho, with the bold spirit and loud voice and the stoic expressions, who had first reached out a hand to bring him closer to the members.  It was Junho who got comfortable with him first, the one who first, the one who always knew first about his problems and thoughts and dreams.  It was always Junho who somehow pulled him out of the darkness and showed him that here they were, 5 brothers brought together by fate and music, and he was an integral part of and to them.  He closed his fist, digging his nails in his palm trying to crush his feelings.  He could not do that Junho.  He would not.  Whatever happened tonight, he vowed to make it the last time.  He made a note to himself to call his omma once they got home.  Time to use his weekend vacation.  Maybe the air in Daegu would clear out his head. Now, If only feelings were really crushed so easily…

“Hyung, let’s go,” Khun implored.  They were the only remaining members by the window.  Junsu nodded and began walking back, but Khun still stood rooted to his spot.  His eyes were on the moon.  He looked like a little kid.  “What’s up, Thai prince?”

“Do you think it’ll last forever?” he whispered.  He turned to Junsu.  His eyes looked lost and a little bit afraid.  “I mean, it’s easy to say that we’re going to reach the top without stopping, but is it really realistic to believe that?  We’re still young!  We don’t know what will happen in the future.  What if one of us messes up in a big way?  Are we just going drop him just like what we did to Jay?   We barely made it through that one time!  I really thought that the group was going to disband.  What if I mess up big time?”  Khun was almost shouting now, his words rushing out angrily.  Junsu has never really seen him like this.  He was always the voice of reason, the one who remained calm and sensible when things got tough.  Junsu didn’t know what brought this on, but it didn’t really matter because each one of them had similar sentiments.

“We’re just humans.  We make mistakes, but when we do it, the world seems to think that it’s a freaking crime against humanity and make a witch hunt out of it.  I feel like everyone is just waiting and wishing that the freaking perfect Thai prince will make a wrong step before descending like vultures in forums and news sites demanding for my head.”

“Is that what you think?” Khun deflated at Junsu’s tranquil and casual tone.  All the anger suddenly went out of him.  “Do you really think that what people think about you is the same as what we know about you?  Please, Khun, don’t flatter yourself.  You’re no prince who wouldn’t hurt a fly and who is always responsible and freaking perfect all the time.  You’re an irritating holy terror when you have to just shout us deaf every single morning just to wake us up.  You have the biggest case of obsessive compulsive disorder I ever did see and you drive us up the wall every time you unleash it upon us.  You’re passive aggressive and a sneaky sly fox who use your pretty and innocent face to hide that manipulative nature inside.”  Junsu flicked his finger hard on his forehead and Khun winced at the sting, but it was nothing compared to the snugness and bloom he suddenly felt in his heart.  No insult has made him feel as warm and toasty inside before.  His smile was radiant when he flashed it to Junsu.  Just leave it to his gruff and big hearted hyung to say the right words.

“What you smiling like a pabo for?  I just insulted you ! But hey it’s true, though.  You’re human, Khun.  You’re just like us and we treat you no different than anybody.  You’re not some perfect being who we expect to never mess up and become the poster boy for the “Being an Angelic Human who might as well not exist since they’ll just be food for dogs for Dummies: Kpop Edition”.  Well, maybe others do, but not us because we actually know you.  What we think are all that matters because we are the ones close enough to you to kill you in your sleep.  Now those are the people you need to keep close.”  Junsu winked.

Khun laughed uproariously, fears and doubt dissipating like mist.  “Right, how could I have forgotten?”  He swung his arm around Junsu and they joined their brothers inside.

“We have a surprise for you!”  Chae Won and So Min dragged the tired So Eun towards the end of the street, where a black car awaited them.  So Eun just slumped on top of the hood.  She couldn’t formulate a coherent thought, so exhausted that she was.  “Is this going to be mine?  Could one of you drive?  I’m tired.”

“Nope, sorry but this car has a rightful owner.  I can just afford to lend it to you for the weekend,” So Eun looked up, shocked, as the driver got out of the car and pulled her into a suffocating hug.  “Yura-shii!!!,” she didn’t even care that she couldn’t breathe.  So Eun matched Girl’s Day’s Yura’s squeeze and exclaimed, “I missed you so much!  How come you haven’t been able to come and see me?”

Yura led her weary friends inside, So Min sat at the front while Chae Won and So Eun shared the back, and drove off through the empty streets of night time Seoul and out of city.  “Sorry bout that.  But it’s the life of a Kpop idol, even if underrated.  We’ve been going on promotional trips after promotional trips for the last couple of months!  This is my first vacation this year.”

“Where we going?” So Eun murmured groggily.  She noticed that they were going away from the buildings.  “We’re taking you to your belated birthday trip!  Sorry we couldn’t hang out with you on your birthday like we wanted to.”  So Eun just shrugged and dropped her aching head on Chae Won’s shoulder.  She stifled a yawn.  “It’s a’right.  I understand.  We were all so busy.”  They all had prior commitments and busy schedules on So Eun’s birthday two weeks ago.  So Eun even had to spend the day filming though she did get a very delicious cake from the staff, treats and gifts from fans, and a heartwarming celebration from her “Horse Healer” family and a nice dinner celebration from her actual family (her mom even called).  The small group of friends that mattered all called and texted to wish her a happy birthday (including a birthday song in 5 different languages from Junho over Skype.  She couldn’t even imagine how bad they sounded in their respective countries but it was the thought that counted.)  All in all, she was content on how she spent her birthday.  But she did miss her best friends.

“Ah but it’s not enough, so we decided to treat you on a trip to Daegu!”  So Eun yawned again and tried to smile gratefully at her friends, but she couldn’t even move her face muscles appropriately.  “Thank you,” she said simply, genuinely grateful.  “But what about my work?”

“Oh don’t worry, we took care of everything already.  They were very understanding,”  So min pointed a thumb to the back of the car.  “We have your script because we know you’re still going to be thinking about work, and Yura-shii even picked up your school assignments from home.  Don’t worry, we got you.”

“Right, just don’t worry about anything and sleep,” Chae Won tucked her closer and rubbed her head.  So Eun hugged her unnie around her waist and closed her eyes, enjoying the soft hum and the relaxing swaying movement of the vehicle.  Suddenly, she felt something hot trickling from her eyes down to the corner of her lips.  closed up, her nose twitched, and she sniffled. 

“So-Eunnie,” Chae Won murmured, looking down in alarm at her face.  “Why are you crying?”

“Because you said not to worry, but I think I should.  I think I should worry a lot because I can’t control my feelings.  I’m bad, unnie.  I’m such a bad person.”  So Eun snuggled closer, her hold tightening.  “I didn’t want this to happen.  I really didn’t.  I’m sorry.”  Her toes curled inside the black and pink shoes.  Against her wishes, they still made her toes feel nice and toasty and the memory associated with them still filled her with peace and warmth, even as her heart felt raw and drained.

Chae Won just held her as tears continued slipping from her closed eyes.  She didn’t make a sound save for the occasional sniffle, but the older woman knew how badly she must be feeling because she saw it.  She was aware just how much things went wrong that night and she was the only one.  That hollow feeling of knowing alone was frightening and lonely, Chae Won realized, but not knowing what to do to alleviate the situation was worse.  She met So Min’s eyes, who has turned around to look worriedly at So Eun, and Yura’s eyes, looking through the mirror with hooded yet sharp eyes.  She shook her head.

So Eun raised her head after a few minutes and drowsily looked out the window.  She smiled faintly at what she saw.  “Don’t blink,” she whispered before dropping her head back down and dozing off.  Chae Won raised an eyebrow and looked out.  The roads were dark and they sped quite fast, but she could just make out a gray statue of an angel in front of a sinister looking house that stood on a hill overlooking the freeway. 

She looked down on her sleeping friend.  What?