So Eun fidgeted with the strap of her purse while her feet twisted back and forth with her metatarsals as pivots.  She, So Min, and Chae Won smiled nervously at each other as people streamed pass them. The hall was so cramped and sweaty but they didn’t know the way so they had to stay there as people pushed and shoved all around. One crew member went so far as to jostle them with his elbow in his haste causing So Min to yelp and grumble about Nam Ji Hyun’s disappearance (“She could have pointed us where to go!  Her members can afford to lend their leader for a sec!).

           It was finally the end of 2PM’s awaited comeback concert, and they were all invited backstage to join the boys for a celebration.  Go Ara and Kim Bum declined the invitation and went home, citing drowsiness and fatigue, but all three knew better.  So Eun smiled fondly, thinking back on the awkward courtship of her two closest university friends even as they tried to keep out their growing feelings for each other from the public.  There was always something going on between the two of them yet the tension was largely unacknowledged, but their simmering attraction really came to head during the post-BOF era when speculations and rumors and so called ‘evidences’ of a real life romantic relationship between the series’s own Ga Eul and Yi Jung surfaced left and right.  So Eun herself never felt anything remotely romantic for Bum and only felt awkward about the whole thing since she was the captain of the Go Ara-Kim Bum ship, so she denied all claims (pointedly to Go Ara) and pushed her friends to just fess up.  Of course, no one suspected since all eyes were on the Soeul couple.  When they finally told her, hand in hand and with enormous grins, the real score she couldn’t help but give props to her role as matchmaker, instigator, and distraction.  Give props where props were due, after all.

          So Eun was jolted out of her thoughts by the sudden crushing sensation of being hugged by a taller, curly-haired figure that seemed to materialize out of thin air.

“I miss you. I miss you. I miss you!”  Lee Junho almost lifted up his favorite actress and might have even swung her up in the air if the close quarters permitted.  He just felt so happy to see and hear and feel her again.

“Oy Junho-yah, I can’t breathe!” So Eun gasped from the strong embrace but instead of pounding her fists at his chest, as she initially wanted to do, she instead wrapped her arms around him because she had really missed him, too.  The happy and warm sensation at seeing him perform as if the concert was just for her still nestled within her chest. 

          Junho let her go but kept her close.  Seeing the stadium packed to the brim and hearing their fans shout at the top of their lungs in support of their idols was gratifying and exhilarating, but nothing still beats the sight of her upturned, smiling face at that moment. It has been far too long.

         “Get a room you two!” The moment was broken as Wooyoung and Taecyeon came barreling towards them.  Wooyoung jumped towards Junho and put him in a headlock.  Junho’s arms flailed and his legs kicked at Wooyoung while Taecyeon squeezed beside So Min, his laughter full and loud at their antics.  “I wanna see the beautiful unnis, too!”  Chansung ran with long strides, but bumped clumsily at Taecyeon and two other people running from the opposite direction in his haste. 

          “Yah, watch out will you! You’re not exactly small, you know. You’re going to kill us!” So Min shouted and pushed back at Taec as she and Chae Won nearly toppled over, but Nichkhun, who popped out from the opposite side, caught Chae Won neatly.  “You alright?” Nichkhun asked her, all charm and smiles.  Chae Won nodded and smiled back, but another person coming from his side tried to slide past them cleanly but failed causing Nichkhun to steer Chae Won, along with everybody else, towards their waiting room backstage with his muscular arms trapping the small female.  “Um, I think we better get out of the way.  Let’s go this way.  Uhh, no, this way I mean.”  Nichkhun reached over Chansung and opened the right door and all of them came inside.  The girls immediately stumbled towards the couches, exhausted. 

            Taecyeon turned to So Min, who was still fuming, and Chae Won, who looked red and sweaty.  “We’re really sorry ‘bout that.  People are just hurrying to finish up and go home.  It’s been a busy day for all of us.”  He bowed and the rest of the boys followed suit.  The girls bowed back, though So Min still looked a little put out, especially at Taec who she still eyed with narrowed eyes.  So Eun looked around.  There was one member missing, and So Eun knew exactly who it was.  She became aware again of the swirling emotions she had felt during his “Alive” performance.  Seeing Junho again made her push the moment at the back of her mind, yet she was always aware of its presence, as if somebody was looking at her disapprovingly. Why did she feel so guilty, anyway? Nothing happened! Liar. So Eun almost slapped herself.  Whatever it was, something definitely happened.

             The other members were giving introductions to her two friends so nobody paid any attention to her. She took the chance to walk towards the opposite wall where a door was barely visible.  So Eun the Explorer, that was her childhood nickname though her dad always (teasingly) begged to differ.  She retained that sense of adventure and endless inquisitiveness even to this day.  Friends always said that it contributed to her constant absentmindedness.  She seemed rude and not paying attention because her mind was a million miles away, so concentrated on her immediate fancy that nothing else mattered.  True to this character, So Eun turned the handle, went inside, and was immediately in by the hundreds of people crowded inside one tiny room.  People bustled about everywhere with their bodies always touching those next to them, but none of their attentions seemed to extend pass their businesses, whether on their laptops, Ipads, phones, or on plain writing paper.

             So Eun then felt a strong tug on her hand before being dragged towards a secluded corner of the room. (She liked that she was taken by the hand and not by her wrist and she wondered why it seemed so important.)

             “What are you doing?” Kim Junsu frowned down at her, every bit as intimidating as he seemed onstage. The look he gave her was curt and cutting, causing her to shrink back.  Of all the people who can get lost backstage how did it end up being her?  Junsu knew that Junho would invite her backstage so to spare the little sanity and dignity he had left (since most of his senses had conveniently deserted him at one of the most important nights of his life.  And all because of a girl, too, and one who is tied to one of his brothers at that.  How ed up can his situation get?) Junsu ran with his tail between his legs and headed for the one place he knew he would never meet her in, the audio recording room where technicians and engineers managed the equipment and sound effects.  It was also where the audio track of the concert was recorded to be packaged and sold in stores.  The behind the scenes activities have actually slowed down and people were getting ready to head out, their businesses finished and all were ready to go home, despite So Eun’s initial reaction.  Junsu himself has gathered and arranged his musical pieces, which had lain in stacks on the lone keyboard in the room haphazardly strewn around the poor instrument since not even the anxiety of such a big event can stop him from composing the night before.

             “You’re not supposed to be here.  Where’s that fool, Junho anyway?  He’s supposed to be taking care of you,” Yep Junsu was flustered because seeing her from far away was bad enough, but her standing so close looking more beautiful and more helplessly charming than he previously realized (she was thinner in person and paler but seemed tougher, somehow, than what people would think on the outset.).  He needed to get her far away from him, definitely. “Such an irresponsible human, that kid.  His mouthy and obnoxious but so not dependable.  At all! But what do I expect?  He can’t even take care of his cat properly.  What is it with kids these days?  Do they just really leave their things laying around, expecting somebody else to pick them up.  Well, yeah, I do that, too.  And I think I’m actually much worse, but so what?  I’m their hyung.  Daegu boss!” Aw gee, what the hell was he saying? He really needed to control his mouth, but it’s something that he can’t do anything about.  He bombasts when he’s nervous and this girl is giving him all kinds of feelings he shouldn’t have (couldn’t have).

               So Eun watched as the tall, broad-shouldered, and very manly person in front of her muttered and shifted his eyes back and forth, obviously annoyed and jumpy.  She supposed that she was supposed to feel bad, apologize, and curse at her naïve curiousity and insatiable drive to prod and poke at things best left untouched (again) if not for Junsu’s imposing presence that rendered her helpless to do anything other than just to scrutinize him with an open expression of wonder.  He was way taller than she expected and though not as big as the others (and she shyly remembered how people were commenting how he was the one who rarely showed his body at one of her forays to that blackhole called Twitter.) his upper body was broad and well-toned.  The thick black frames he wore couldn’t obscure his sharp chiseled features.  In a nutshell, he was heart-stoppingly handsome and irresistible with a dark allure that held So Eun bothered and bewildered (because she couldn’t admit that she was attracted because that would bring up a whole another situation even So Eun the Explorer wouldn’t explore), but he seemed to be sputtering and nagging at the moment, so different from his “beast” image, that So Eun couldn’t help finding their current circumstances really funny.

               “Is something the matter, sunbae?” she suddenly blurted out, stopping his monologue.  He wanted to jump up and shout “Yes, there is most definitely something wrong!” but his surprise at her casual tone made him meet her eyes (which he had been avoiding like the plague since it was the whole point).  Her sweet brown eyes had an unexpected calming effect on him, as if the earth had finally stopped wobbling madly on its dangerously unstable axis. Never mind, then.

               “No, there isn’t.” He said it haltingly but he could breathe easier now so it came out clearly and sincerely. He rubbed at his face to keep from gawking awkwardly. “I just um…,” he scratched his head, trying to find the words.  “I just thought that since that happened earlier, you know, you wouldn’t really want to be with a whole bunch of people all up on you so, um, quickly.”

                “Oh no, it’s fine,” she was smiling now, dimples blinking in and out. The air around them sighed and shifted smoother than before as the tension eased then faded away.  The heat around her ears has gone and her pulse that had been beating furiously since their encounter slowed to its normal rate. Relieved and giddy, she breathed out, “Why? Do you think that only male idols gets followed around and kowtowed to whenever they’re out in public? If you must know actresses and actors receive plenty of love and support from their fans as well.  They also try to film us, take pictures, touch us, and even kiss us!”

 “No! I didn’t mean it that way!  I was just trying to say—“

“Gotcha,” she said teasingly, making a gun sign pointing at him.  She smiled sheepishly and bowed. “I’m sorry, sunbae, but it was just too funny seeing you so defensive!”

“What?” Aish, that was uncalled for!  He really was worried about her. “You almost gave me a heart attack! Gee, you try to worry about others and they just tease and call you names, but when you try to hand out some tough love, they complain. Really what am I supposed to—“

                She burst out laughing, her whole body convulsing with mirth, and pretty soon he joined her, his head tilting back and his chest rumbling pleasantly. There was a faint hint of silliness and whimsy surrounding them, now.  Even they were surprised how quickly they got so comfortable with each other.  “That mischievous glint in her eye and the way her body just so sort of laughed at me.”  He remembered.  Everything was going to be alright.

               Once they calmed down, Junsu remembered his manners. He held out his hand. “By the way, I’m—“

“I know.  Kim Junsu.” How could he still think that somebody wouldn’t know him? She held out her hand, but it was the wrong one so she switched, but he did the same thing at the exact same time so their hands uselessly went up and down in the air as they put their best efforts to accomplishing the very hard task of shaking the other’s hand.

                He eventually just grabbed both of her hands in his and they both shook and bowed.

“There.”

“Right.”

“Excuse me,” somebody carrying heavy equipment pushed passed them causing him to instinctively pull their joined hands together, prompting her to slam softly to his body. She was so surprised (since she had forgotten that there were still a lot of people in the room with them.) and accidentally climbed on his feet, pressing closer still. He immediately pushed her back gently, but there was still a slight pressure resting on his feet.  He looked down and found hers on top of his. “Your shoes.  They’re…an interesting choice to wear at a concert.”

               “Oh,” she got off and held out a foot.  She had completely forgotten about her delicate red silken shoes.  She had even overlooked the long white socks she wore with them, which clashed horrible with her green, elbow length-sleeved polo and pink shorts.  She wiggled her toes. “They are pretty, right?  And they even matched the stage.  Not to mention that they made for easy getaway since they make you faster.” He snorted.  Was she always this free spirited and laid back?  He wouldn’t mind talking to her forever.  In fact, he wouldn’t mind capturing the way he felt at that moment and bottling it, to only be brought out at the worst of times.  He was still cynical Junsu, after all.  Too much happiness might cause his brain cells to combust.  She shrugged.  “I was filming before I came.  I was in a hurry that I even left my driver and took the train.  I forgot I was only halfway out of my costume.”

                “Well, it explains those.” He swept his hand tracing the outline of her hairline.  She brought her hands on the top of her head and felt the ceramic fans encrusted with small gems lining the top contour of her forehead.  Her hands fell back and felt the rows of gem drops radiating from the fans towards the middle of her hair.  She had also forgotten about those. Well, a princess’s job is never done.  Far be it from her to just check her role at the door after filming hours. It was not how she got things done.

                  “I should really take them off,” she muttered but the condition of her hair was forgotten once she realized that there were only a handful of people left in the room.  Huh, funny the way time seemed to hold still whenever she is aware of him.  She spied a keyboard at one corner and went over to it.

                  “Do you play that?” She sat down and thumbed at the pages neatly arranged in front of the black and white keys, each music sheet separated by song with colorful flags.  “Wow! You know so many songs!” Though knowing how to play the guitar was her secret pride and joy, she admitted that she only knew, at most, 7 songs.  She only started learning well into her senior year of high school, after all.  But she knew that the songs on the sheets were not just a variety of beautiful and eclectic songs but also original ones that came straight from the soul of the man with her.  Oh to have the spirit of an artist.

                   He nodded as he came to sit beside her.  “I was lucky enough to persuade them to bring it here when we were rehearsing.  It just wasn’t the same without some kind of instrument here.”  He turned it on and pressed a key.  Not too shabby but to an experienced ear, it still sounded way too synthetic.  The real thing soared above the clouds and reached out to tingle people’s hearts.  It still weren’t the same.

                  She squinted at the title of the song on top of the pile.  “Falling Slowly”.  She loved that song! She tried to play it in the guitar but it didn’t sound as good as when Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova played it.  She looked at the first note.  She knew where that was.  She played the note in the keyboard.  She played the second and third note too but got stuck on the fourth one.  She glared down at the black and white keys as she tried to remember her lessons all the way back from middle school.  All she remembered was that she didn’t really like the piano.

                  “It’s this one,” He pressed the right key and started over, playing the first part flawlessly.  It was amusing watching her expression changing as she tried to defeat the challenge before her, a frontier that she would not back down from. There was that spunk that toughened her look a little, he suddenly realized.  

                  “See, it’s in this key.  There are different types and each one corresponds to a certain hand arrangement.” He arranged her fingers properly on the keys as she watched in awe.  So this was how musicians work.  This was how they gave life to the feelings they expressed in small ovals and lines.  It was quite mesmerizing.  Especially with the way the guy beside her worked, with compelling intensity and great concentration that mirrored her own dedication to her acting work.

                  “If you arranged it like that, then you could play the first notes with one hand without difficulty.” She removed her left hand and asked him if he could demonstrate what he had just explained.  He did.  His long, narrow fingers danced across the plastic ceramic keys delicately, each note echoing almost mystically.  The room was empty now, save for the beautiful couple playing equally beautiful music.  They did not notice.

“Then,” he whispered, his voice so close that she felt it move through her.  Dazedly, he found the spaces between her fingers on the other hand and played the second part.  Their fingers barely touched but they glided effortlessly across the keyboard.  Her fingers danced with his as if she knew the song by heart and matched him in grace and rhythm.  Sweet and gentle music swelled around them.  “That’s it.  There you go.” His voice was but a wisp of breath then, each nuance and timbre wrapping around her and holding her close.  Both raised their heads and turned slowly to look at each other. Their gazes met again, one questioning and searching the other steady yet so sad. Their fingers continued to play well into the fourth verse.

Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice

You’ve made it known

Falling slowly, eyes that know me

And I can’t go back

                   “So Eun-ah!” Junsu and So Eun sprang away from each other and their eyes darted towards the doorway.  Chae Won’s eyes were wide as she stared at her friend.  So Eun just blinked back.  She suddenly felt dizzy and lightheaded, as if she had been suspended in the air just a moment before Chae Won’s interruption.  She stood up, revealing hers and Junsu’s still intertwined hands.  Chae Won only took a second to understand before taking a step forward.

                   “We were looking for you,” she said, ignoring their joined hands, which the two seemed to have forgotten.  “You just disappeared.  Junho-ie was worried.” At that, Junsu sprang up.

                   “There you are!” Junho ran in, oblivious to the tense air, and tried to move pass Chae Won, but the older girl blocked his way.  “Junho-ie,” she turned to face him.  “She’s fine.  She was just curious, that’s all.  Our So Eun the Explorer.”

                   “You should really be watching her more carefully.” Junsu reached the two in three strides, pulling So Eun gently with him.  “It was chaos earlier. She could have gotten lost if your hyung didn’t rescue her,” he chided playfully.  “Here she is now.  Better take care of her before she’s taken away.” Junsu then moved to place So Eun’s hand to Junho’s already awaiting palm, but something compelled him to stop.  His heart moved too painfully in his chest.  So he took Junho’s hand and wrapped it around her wrist. The sensation of her fingers slipping from his grasp left him cold.  He hurried to the adjoining waiting room where the three came from.

“I need to get something from the studio.  I’ll be back quickly.”

                  “Wait!” So Eun tugged her wrist free and strode to where Junsu stopped when he heard her voice.  Junho froze as he watched, the hand that held So Eun shaking, as if he lost something really important. Chae Won looked on helplessly, not knowing what to do. 

                  So Eun stared at Junsu’s back, her stormy expression boring holes straight through him. Don't he dare walk away. “What did you do that for? That was so rude!” Why was she speaking softly? Junsu turned his head and matched her tone.  “What did I do?” he tried to sound casual but the words came out hoarse, like he was shouting too loudly but was only overlooked. He forced his face to remain straight and unaffected.

                 “Exactly! What was that?”  She puffed her cheeks, disappointment and dismay spilling out of her in waves.  “What was with the wrist grabbing and the taking care and the taking away?”  His words just rubbed her the wrong way.  He might have played it off as a joke, but she was not amused.  It sounded so condescending and caustic.  And that gesture. What was she, a pet? Freely given away without a second thought from one member to another?  Where was the funny and dorky musician with the sensitive and calm verve and vigor? She wanted to throw all her questions to his face just so that indifferent and stony façade he now wore would crumble because, more than anything, she wanted to know why her chest felt heavy, why her mind scrambled madly because all she could see and hear and feel were his fingers barely brushing hers, the music and his voice softly melding and swirling all around her, and his dark eyes, so haunting and dejected. And why everything suddenly felt like they were falling slowly all around her yet she could not, would not, let them. Because Junho was there, looking lost and confused.  She could not do that to him, not after everything they've shared, but she needed to know, damn it.

A/N: The song "Falling Slowly" does not belong to me. I wanted this chapter to be longer since I thought that the concert has taken far too much of the story but I would be able to finish that part next chapter.  Thanks!