I cant live without you
I cant live without you
Here I am another tired day
practice stage
well but it's okay
I am happy doing that
at least i am doing it with people I love the most
My boyfriend and his bestfriend
speaking of my boyfriend
where is he?
we go out from car together and until now i cant hear his voice.
i go out from room and check living room, there is no one
kitchen, no one there
i check all appartment
even Jae hyung's room
heh? why there's no one here
ahhh one second before I called my boyfriend there's text coming
from: Chunniee XD
To: Xiahgasm XD
Su, sorry like usual Jae hyung having brak down he missed Yunho and Changmin Alot
I accompany him drinking. well at least keep him not to any guy he meet. U can rest first. I have the key
Love u
Sighh. To be honest I dont like this. I understand that Jae hyung missed Yunho hyung and Changmin alot. But I am his boyfriend right?
Why he doesnt meet me first at room saying goodbye directly. Well yeah I am jealous but I cant tell anyone. People will think I am too protective.
Ahh Maybe I need sleep like Chunnie said.
I took shower and fell a sleep.
Somehow in the night I woke up. hmmm Strange I never woke up at this hour I look at the clock it's 3:22 AM. I was deciding to go to sleep when then i hear someone
. I froze , who is that?
I hear that once again. I recognize that is Jae hyung's voice
"Ah, chunnie, please.... more.....I need you...."
I really feels like time stops. I wish I misheard
I dont know what happen i move my body towards the door and open it.
I...
I wish I die right away
I say My boyfriend ing his bestfiend @livingroom
and He , My boyfriend. The one who claims only can love me and lust after me just and kissing .
I dont know what to do. Looks like they dont know I am watching them. I turn back at room. And sit on the floor
I do nothing my tears flowing non stop but really I dont know what to feel or what to do.
Later I hear the stop. It's all silence. I open my suitcase take a few of my clothes and go.
Honestly I dont know where to go. It's 5 am and where should I go?
Manager hyun? Big no he will tell Yoochun And Jae just a second after I go to his place.
Yunho and Changmin's place? Super Big NO NO
first I will be grilled with SM security
Second what should I tell them? No biggie Yunho hyung My boyfriend Just ing yours. It's usual right?
Call me idiot. In the end I stay at my room. I cant sleep. I..... I... Empty just empty
Sun already rising . I dont know for how long I am at this state. I started hearing voices. I heard Yoochun panic with Jae Hyung.
I pretend to be asleep.
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I feel like zombie. I do all my activities but my mind is not there. Jae Hyung and Yoochun keep asking me what happen. I just answer I am just too tired.
They are not telling me what happen. Act like usual. I dont I should laugh or cry with this situation.
Now break time Yoochun lean on me, I feel disgusted near him. But I cant confront it. I am afraid. I excuse going to bathroom. I need to calm myself.
When I am back and just want to open the door, I hear Yoochun and Jae Hyung speaking
"Relax chunnie , I know we were wrong but Junsu Doesnt know about what happen and that was not our first time."
"I know Jae but i feel guilty more and more to Junsu. We must stop."
I saw Yoochun crying and
and Jae Hyung kissing him.
I froze. Until I hear Manager hyung's voice calling us.
Jae Hyung see me and then Yoochun see me.
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After Manager hyung called us. We need to get on stage at that time . And somehow we keep busy maybe even to think what will happen next. Yoochun
I get another schedule with my musical team.
so we cant talk about what happen.
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I walk around our appartments. Somehow i dont want to go home. I keep thinking and thinking.
Who am I fooling? Myself? Maybe Yoochun fallen out love with me. After all he and jae Hyung are soulmate right?
I need to end this.
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To: JYJ Yoochun
From: Xiahgasm XD
Yoochun, let's break up. I am okay but I wont go home, I dont know until when. Thank you for all. -Junsu-
To: JYJ Jaejoong
From:Susu XD
Jaejoong Hyung. I wont go back to home. Dont have to wait . Thank you. -Junsu-
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Yoochun POV
I am in deep . I keep calling Junsu but nobody answer. Jae keep saying sorry and crying. I dont know what to do. Yeah I was wrong.
I
I dont know what happen. I love Junsu. Hell I even will die for him.
I am so stupid.
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I dont know where Junsu stay. We just meet only for JYJ Bussiness. He avoiding me. I am stressing up much.
I cant take this anymore. Hell He can punch me or kill me. EVerything is better than see him like zombie . Keep faking smile but seems so empty.
You can say Fortune goddes with me. We have break and in changing room only left with three of us.
Junsu just about want to go out from room. I stopped him
"Junsu, until when you want to be like this. We need to talk."
" Junsu answer me, hell punch me. I cant stand like this. U really make me in misery."
Junsu turned his head trying not to see my face. I hold Junsu head and turn his head to see me
"I am right in front of u, what? u cant talk? We need to talk. I love...
"What Yoochun? You love me? Please just stop all the acts!! u wont ing Jae Hyung if u love me!!!!"
" You are in misery? Tell me what should I feel when I see my boyfriend ed his bestfriend? TELL ME!!!! WHAT JAE HYUNG? STOP CRYING IT'S ME WHO SUPPOSED TO CRY NOT YOU."
"SHOULDNT YOU FEEL GLAD THAT EVERYWHERE U GO YOU HAVE LOVE AND WARM. HECK YOU EVEN BEGGED YOOCHUN LIKE A "
SLAPPP
"..."
" Su.... I .. I am sorry. I dont mean to do that. Just I... cant stand you calling him like that."
then Junsu just stand still. I beg on his knee and crying. I never see Junsu like that. He is so scarry. No reaction.
" Jae Hyung, I am sorry, Yoochun right I shouldnt call u that. Yoochun, Let's just keep our relationship only bussiness"
"SU.. please... I am sorry please... dont do that.. I..."
"Dont say you love me. I beg you. and hahahahha who I am fool myself believe that you love me so much.Sorry Yoochun I need to go, I have another schedule"
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I keep trying to asking forgiveness to Junsu. Doesnt work. He even giving back all my gifts for him. The jewelery, couple tshirt, all. He doesnt tell anyone , atleast that's what I know.
Well Junho doesnt start trying to kill me so I take that Junsu doesnt tell anyone. And he keep do jobs like zombie. No laugh or smile really. I really feel like I am dying.
It's already 6 months and he doesnt change. He maybe laugh infron people but people who know him the best will know he much hurting inside. I asked him to join me to againts SME.
And I make him suffer more than anyone. I feel my phones vibrating.
" Chun, ..... Junsu .... had accident with car...... he is in ..."
I ran and go with my car as fast as I can to hospital after hearing Junho's call
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HEADLINE NEWS : JYJ DISBAND AAFTER JUNSU DEATH AND YOOCHUN DISSAPEARING, JAEJOONG GOING SOLO."
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There's a man at the cemetery he always come at night visit a grave crying and screaming sorry. The man looks like a beggar. The man keep scereaming non stop until he lost his voice.
sometimes he whisper
"Junsu take me with you, I cant live without you"
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