Donghae POV:

“Lee Donghae!” I startled as someone called my name. I put my pen down and looked to my front. I didn’t realize my eyes were very wide as I looked at Eunhyuk who peeked his head out from the door.

“Yah, were you paid to day-dreaming?” Eunhyuk stepped in and closed the door. I scoffed as he approached the cream-colored sofa and threw himself on it.

I leaned forward and placed my elbow on my big desk as I look at him. “Were you paid to humiliate me?”

“Oh, Hahaha, if there is such a job I would love to volunteer!” he laughed.

I chuckled as I got off my seat and headed to the sofa. I threw myself beside him—and sighed.

“Thinking about her?” Eunhyuk asked me a question.

I shifted my sight to him and we were like staring at each other for a moment. Alright, I admit, it was pretty weird. I smirked as I pushed his head away with my fist. He laughed.

“Tsk, yah! You are not paid to sit on you chair, thinking about Jessica Jung all day long, 365 days.”

I bit my lips. “Neo jinjja… And you are not paid to come to my room, sit on my sofa, eating peanuts, messing my room and telling me to stop thinking about her. I’ll cut your paycheck.”

“Wha—yah!” He grabbed my shoulder. “You’re my friend! How could you do this to me…” He made his sad, aegyo, puppy-dog, a sympathy-seeking-eyes-which-ask-for-a-punch face.

“Yah, Keumanhae!” I leered away, smiling.

He laughed. “Donghae ya.”

Seriously, I don’t know what can he do without me? He’s my best friend since elementary school. We’re always together. And I guessed that’s why people thought I’m gay. Plus he loved acting cute and he purposely act like he is a gay and my girlfriend so people thought negative thoughts about us. But seriously, I admit I really thanked him for that. Girls were afraid to approach me. That’s why I love him.

“Why are you always thinking about this girl?” He suddenly asked. I blinked my eyes without looking at him. “Every time you’re alone, I caught you day dreaming. Even at night, before going to sleep. Are there any time that you never think of her?”

I smiled at his question and bowed down my head. “Hyuk ah, you never feel true love, aren’t you?”

“Mwo? Yah, who said I never feel true love?! I loved someone once… but I moved on.”

I nodded my head. “Well, that’s why.” I could feel that he looked at me with a confuse look. “I love her so much that I can’t move on. I don’t have the energy to move on. I don’t have anything to move on. The day she walked out from my life, she brought everything with her—my heart, my energy, my mind, everything. The person who sits beside you right now is just a body—an empty body—that has nothing. Though it’s been a long time now, she haven’t gives me what is mine yet.” I paused and shook my head slowly. “I never even met her since.”

“Well, that’s weird. You should’ve forgets her by now. You don’t know how she looks like right now. Maybe she’s bald and has only 6 grey hairs! And 3 kids, big tummy!”

“Alright, you’re over-reacted.” I shook my head with a tint of smile. “I don’t know. It’s just, my feelings for her is like—so strong. I don’t think I care about her appearance. Whether she’s bald and has only 6 grey hairs, I… I can’t stop loving her.”

Eunhyuk sat there in silence. I shifted my sight to him and saw he bowed his head down, playing with his finger. “You… you really do love her, aren’t you?”

“What I feel for her is more than love.” I answered without hesitation. “I couldn’t find any words to describe how I really love her.” I played with my fingers too.

It’s true. I really can’t find any words to describe my feeling towards her. I just really can’t. Wait. Is that why she left? Because I couldn’t tell her how much I really love her to death?

“Well, she’s lucky.” I startled from my thought. “I bet she never gonna find someone who can love her more than you do.” He looked at me and smiled. “Do you wanna meet her?”

I startled, again. “Meet her? Of course I want! Are you crazy… I… ah.” I’m speechless. If ever I can meet her. That will be a true gift!

“I can help.” I startled at his three words. I looked at him with wide eyes. “Are you…” He nodded his head before I can finish my words. “I’m serious.”

“Alright. If you say, the ‘I love you’ three words, I would not surprise. But you said ‘I can help’ and that made my skin jump out of me!” “Donghae ya, I can help you find her. I’m your buddy. I will always be there for you like you always be there for me.” he paused. “By the way, you always help me. And now it’s my turn to help you. It’ll be a big pay-debt if I ever make you happy.”

I shook my head and smiled. “I don’t think I can ever see her.”

“What?! You don’t think you can ever see her?! Now, hold your horses! Tell me, who always wasting my time talking about fate, love and soul mate between you and her and now you’re telling me you can’t see her? Yah, if you guys are fated to be together, no matter how far both of you are, you guys are gonna meet someday.”

“Ah, ara, kultung ah. I meant, I don’t know I can meet her or not. I don’t know how will I react if I ever see her? I think I’ll go crazy. And then she sees me like a mad guy and she hates me even more.”

“Pabo. You love her. Go and take risks!”

I sat there, silence. He’s right. I love her. I have to take risks. I promised myself I’ll do anything to meet her again. I placed my hand to my chest. The rings, our rings, had been tied into a necklace that I wore since we broke up. And I never took it off. One thing why I precious these rings so much is that whenever I put my hand on my chest to feel it, I can feel my heartbeat, the exact how I feel every time she’s with me. Our memories popped out.

I tip-toed slowly, approaching the big shade tree in front of me. “Boo!”

“Aah!” Jessica screamed. I laughed as I cupped my ear. Her dolphin ultra-sound scream is one of her cute charm.

“Donghae pabo!” She hit me a couple of times.

“Araso. Araso. Miyanhae.” I apologized, giggling. She stared at me with her lips puckered. Oh, she’s so cute. How I wish I can tell her how much I really love her.

“I waited.” Her sulking face tickled me with her folded arms. If she were a food, I’ll absolutely eat her!

“Miyanhae. I promise I’ll never be late again. You can punish me.” I said with a cute voice as I nodded my head.

She leered away smiling. Without hesitating, I grabbed her hand. “Kaja!” I whispered and pulled her away. We ran to a place—a secret place—who only I know. We skidded to a stop as we arrived. I quickly covered her eyes with my hands.

“Donghae ya…” “Kwaenchana. Just walk, you’re safe as long as you hold my hand.” I smiled, excitedly. She smirked and placed her hand on top of mine. “Araso, I count the steps and you step one by one okay?”

I smiled and looked to the front. “One…” we took a step. “Two…” we took another step. “Three…” And so on. “… Nine… Ten… Araso.” I grinned with excitement and that feeling spread to Jessica too.

“Yah, Wae? Palli.” She shook my hand impatiently. “Ah, wait, wait. Alright, I’ll get off my hand in a count of three, okay? Count with me. One…”

“Two…” “Three!” I uncover her eyes fast and her eyes stopped exactly in front of her.

“What is that—Ki… kitten?” Jessica murmured as the kitten meowed. “Hmm, kitten.” I repeated. “Your kitten. Come on.” I pulled her to the kitten in the basket I’d prepared. We squatted on the ground.

She gasped. “Oh, neomu kwiyowo.” She straightly took the kitten and hugged it in her arms. “Kyeopta! Mine?” She played with its fur and I grinned with happiness. “Hmm.”

“Oh?” Did she find it? “Igae mwo? Huh, rings?” she stopped and looked at me with wide eyes. “H… hokshi…”

Oh no! Is she going to say she hates me and don’t want to be my friend anymore?! No! I can’t let it happened!

“YAE! CHINGU BANJI!” I shouted and that made her startled. I laughed awkwardly. “Friendship’s rings. One for you and one for me.” I took the rings off the kitten’s collar. “Tadaa!”

She laughed and hit my shoulder. “Chingu banji? Jaemi iseottneunde.” She leered away to the kitten and started to tickle its belly. What?! She didn’t even wanna ask? Is she even care?! I grunted frustrated in my heart.

I gulped. “C… c… can you put it on?” She shifted her sight towards me. “The ring?” “What do you think I bought it for?!” I rose up my voice, my shaking voice. She looked at me with weird look. “I didn’t ask you to buy it.” “Well…” I tried to look for a reasonable reason. “Because I… I value our friendships more.” Yeah! That’s right! Ha!

She smiled. “Araso.” She placed the kitten back in the basket and took the ring from my palm. “Ch… chogi!” I stopped her as she was about to put it in her finger. I snatched the ring right away. “Oh, wae?”

“I… Let me put it on.” There! I finally said it! Wooh~! My heart was beating so fast I’m afraid it’ll burst out of my chest. “It’s a friendship rings between us. So, I think, it’s best if I put it on for you and you put it on for me.”

She chuckled. “Like married?” her words seriously startled me to death and it made my heartbeat worst.

“Yah, I told you, it’s just friendship rings.” I couldn’t look at her eyes.

“Hmm, too bad. We could be a married couple in the school.” She smiled looking at me. My eyes widened.

“Yah! I’m kidding.” She laughed. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to be that scared.” She showed her hand in front of me. “Put it on.”

Wae? Waeragu?! Stupid me! Why did I have to put on a shock to death face?

Ahh!

I held her hand and put on the ring on her finger. She took my ring straight away from my hand and put it on my finger too. “Ja!” she looked at me and smiled.

“I pronounced, we’re best friend forever.” I declared. She nodded her head. “Best friend forever.” She repeated. “Ah, I’ll name her Haesica, combination of our name.” she looked at me with a happy smile. “The kitten.”

“She’s a boy actually.” I corrected her. “Oh? Jeongmal? But she looks like a girl.” I smiled—though, it was not bright like before. “Let’s just named it Buddy. Like you and me, two best buddies.” I suggested. “Ah, cuwa!” she grinned and tickled Buddy.

“Annyeong, Buddy! Nae ileumeun Jessica ya.” She introduced herself.

I sighed thought I smiled. It was supposed to be proposing rings. I was supposed to propose her, ask her to be my girlfriend. But it didn’t turn out the way I planned. C’mon Donghae. You have to have more courage.

“Oh, anhi!” Jessica suddenly yelled and it shocked me. She turned her head to me. “I don’t think he love the name Buddy.” I looked at her in what-are-you-talking-about looks.

“Let’s called him Love!” I startled. “Love? Why?” “This.” She showed me her hand that has the ring. “We’ll make Love to be the witness of our friendship.” She smiled.

I chuckled at her cute thought. “I don’t think he like the name Love.” “Then, we called him Love Ring.” She suggested again, still with the name Love in it. “You really love the name Love, aren’t you?”

“I just want Love to be our symbol for our love rings.” I startled. Love rings? “I said, it’s a friendship ring!” I nervously yell. “In friendship, there has to be love right?” She smiled again. “Like, do you hate me?” she suddenly asked. “What?! No! I lo…” I stopped.

She smiled. “You what? You hate me?” “I… I like you.” “You just like me? How sad.” I looked at her eyes that were staring at me. “I love you.” she smiled. I frowned. “I… I love you too.” she chuckled.

“See, in friendship, there has to be love.”

I don’t know but I suddenly feel… happier. I confessed to her, indirectly! I said ‘I love you’ to her! I’m really happy.

I stole a glance at her that was tickling Love Ring, smiling at her cute reaction. She laid Love Ring on her leg and she placed her hand with the ring beside my ring’s hand.

She wiggled her fingers and smiled. “It looks like a couple ring. I like it.” She stared at me but I blinked away, avoiding her eyes. “Komawo.” She said in a half whispering voice.

I smiled and slowly turned my head towards her. “Don’t lose it.” I said, in an ordering way though. “And you must promise me you’ll take care of Love Ring. I’ll come and visit him every week.” She laughed. “Araso.”

Well, to be honest, I bought the kitten for her is so that I can visit her often at her house. It will be obvious if I always visit her without reasons. I sighed as I Love Ring. I love you, Jessica. And I really wish you know that.

END OF Donghae POV