► 回见 (Hui Jian) ft. 刘璇 Liu Xuan: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5reXTx0p8E

轻轻说回见 换来一生纠结

The soft goodbye got exchanged with a lifetime of entanglement

My phone vibrated. Could it be her? After what went on last week, I had been worried. The two of us had been friends ever since we were ignorant little kids. We played together, laughed together, cried together and grew together. Ever since we became friends, we had never once left each other’s side – apart from those times where school and our daily activities separated us and boy, if I had to admit honestly, I hated those times.

‘I’m at the airport now. Don’t bother looking for me. Take care. ‘

What? Airport? Was she leaving? I had heard my parents talking about her parents’ plans for migration but I had thought that was just them. I thought she could stay here, with me. I would take care of her, like I always had.

Take care? How could I possibly take care? Take care of myself? I couldn’t, that was her job and mine was to take care of her. All these years, we had been doing a good job. The two of us stuck to the responsibilities of cheering one another up when we were down, and that silly girl also found it amusing to take on the role of my mother and nag me into tidying up my room.

And now she was leaving? I couldn’t believe it, and I wouldn’t. And suddenly, I felt my vision blur.

声音没改变 回旋在那一夜

Your voice hasn’t changed, echoing on that night

‘I love you. ‘

That voice. Ever since she left, that night has been replaying in my mind over and over again. The night where we had a sleepover and she fell asleep on me while watching a horror movie. Yes, she was cute like that. Unlike the normal females who would screech and scream while watching those made up fictional characters climb out of a television box or pop out of unthinkable corners, she had the ability to sleep it through. That was one of the reasons I always told her how proud I was of her, because she was so brave.

As always, I just let her be and stayed in the position we were in. But suddenly, she stirred and I heard those three words shoot right out of . I froze. No, I didn’t freeze because I abhorred the thought, I froze because I actually liked it and I felt a tug at the corners of my lips.

That’s when it got bad – I had doubts. Was she saying that to me or was she just dreaming?

‘I love you. ‘ in a dream while watching horror movies, what were the odds? I decided not to ask her and just let nature take its course, not that I could have done better at the moment where I found that I might have some feelings towards my best friend.

And now that she was gone, I wish I had actually asked.

我们的世界 等待在重叠

Our worlds are waiting to collide once again

Every day, I attend the school we used to go to. During recess, I sit at the table where we used to sit at together. After eating, I go and sit by the tree or the basketball court where we used to spend hours on end in laughter or even just silence.

Even though I was one year her senior, we spent all our in between break times together and perhaps, it was also because of that, that rumors of us dating were rife on campus. Initially we used to deny it, laughing till our tummies ached, but with the passing of time, neither of us denied it and it felt like the most natural thing to just look at each other whenever we heard related comments.

I never actually stopped to ponder, but now that I do, I wonder. Did we stop denying because we got too lazy to deny or did sparks just develop somewhere in between, so naturally that neither of us detected it?

Right now, I have no answer. But I believe I will get it someday, because I will find her and when I do, the first thing she’s going to get from me is a scolding and the second thing – a hug.

Our worlds will collide once again, it’s just a matter of time.

你说的诺言 一天会实现

The promise you made will be fulfilled one day

She always said that we became best friends because of the promise  I made to her – to be there for her. The truth, however, is that she was the one who made the promise that started it all, just that she may not know.

As a child, I was pretty lonely. I had no other siblings and as a result, I was pretty introverted as well. Whenever I saw the other kids, I would feel like an outcast. I wouldn’t approach them, nor talk to them.

She was different though. The first time I saw her, I felt something special. No, it wasn’t love since I was only five then but it was something else about her. I had the urge to talk to her, to play with her. The only way I was able to express it however, was through bullying her – stealing her candies, playing with her toys, you name it.

Once, she suggested we play hide and seek and I didn’t want to play – I had never been a fan of that game. So, I did what all kids my age would do. Okay, maybe not all kids but I lied. I told her I was afraid she’d never be able to find me and then her answer changed it all.

‘ Don’t worry, no matter where you are, I’ll find you. ‘

It may seem like a simple sentence with not much depth to it but believe it or not, from then on I fell in love with playing hide and seek and till this day, I hold on to her word of finding me. She’d better come back and fulfill her promise.

回忆种在我指尖 长成泡沫飞满天

轻轻触碰 轻轻地破灭

Memories are planted amongst my fingertips, growing into bubbles that fill the air.

Breaking gently with each gentle touch

I remember this game I used to make up as a child. I used to play it whenever I was bored – the finger game. I remember spending hours on end sitting in the corners of my room playing by myself whenever I was alone.

I would look at my fingers and recollect. The thumb would mean happy memories; the second finger would represent sad memories, the middle finger – angry memories, the fourth finger – fun memories and the pinky – memories of promises made. This was a way for me to ensure that I could remember all the times in my life.

I was so used to playing this game that for a period of time, I was so conditioned to it that just by looking at my fingers; memories would seemingly pop out like bubbles and float all around me.

After she left, her shadow seems to linger in the bubbles floating around me. But whenever I attempt to touch them, they'd disappear.

气息停留在昨天 感到你在我身边
轻轻的爱 轻轻地蔓延

The aura freezes at yesterday, I still feel you by my side.

Our gentle love will slowly spread.

She used to love pinching my cheeks and I used to complain all I could but really, I didn’t mind at all. She had this habit of doing the same to marshmallows, pinching them till they turned all sticky before she would pop them into . I always laughed and about this weird habit, and whenever she pinched me, I would ask her if my cheeks were her personal marshmallows to which I never got an actual answer..

Somehow, I’ve been feeling a continuous pinching going on at my cheeks. I don’t know why, I don’t bother either, maybe because it feels so familiar – just like her touch. It makes me feel like she’s right beside me.

But the thing is she’s not.

- To be continued.

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