If Only It Was Erased

The Stubbornly Remaining Memories

The Saying That Times Helps You Forget

That’s All Wrong, You Still Remain With Me

Chris’s POV

I still couldn’t believe what I just saw. It was me the one who made her suffered, all those tears when she looked through my eyes, it was sad tears. Piece by piece of my memories flooding my mind, I closed my eyes for a while, my head throbbing hard. I tried to remember everything, but it was not a complete pictures. I grabbed my cellphone, trying to reach her. But it goes straight to her voicemail.

“If you listen to this, please call me back. I want to talk to you about something important.” I ended the voicemail with heavy heart.

I keep looking at my phone anxiously, hoping that Seohyun will call me back. But it was never happened as I finally drifts off to sleep on my bed until the next morning.

“Hyung…” Jonghyun called me.

I opened eyes slowly and massaged my head a little since the headache still there even after a couple hours of sleep.

“Something happened?” I asked.

“Not really, I was just worry about you. Did she call you?” Jonghyun asked.

I shook my head and got up slowly, reached the bathroom to refresh myself while Jonghyun made a simple breakfast for me. I joined him in the kitchen after I finished taking a bath and stuffed one toast bread inside my mouth then sipped on my coffee slowly, I’m thinking hard at the moment. Trying to figure out how to explain to Seohyun, I knew that I don’t remember our memories years ago, but I will try my best to gain it back. For my sake and hers, but even if I could not recall those moments, I really wish that she could understand me and accepted me for who I am.

END of POV

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Seohyun’s POV

My phone is inactive since last night, I still try to put myself back together and I don’t want him to distract my thought from anything. I wanted to move on, but it’s not as easy as I thought before. The truth is I really wish that Chris was Yonghwa, because deep down I know Yonghwa was still alive and if Heaven let me meet him once again, I will cherish every moment of it and I won’t waste it, even if my heart still not heal completely, but I don’t care as long as I can have him in my arms again.

I decided to turn on my phone and there’s a voicemail notification, I opened it and my heart skipped a bit, it was his voice. For a second I forgot that it was Chris, I listened to his words carefully.

Should I call him? What should I do? I’m afraid… I don’t know what to do..

But then, my phone rang in sudden, I was startled a bit and saw Minhyuk’s name on the screen.

“Yobuseyo…” I answered.

“Yobuseyo, Hyunnie… where are you? Do you forget about our appointment?” Minhyuk asked.

“I’m at home, I don’t feel good today… I think I will skip this time.” I said.

“Are you alright? Should I come to your house?” I can hear how worried he is.

“I will be alright, besides it’s not a good time. I’m not in the mood to have anyone around now.” I said truthfully.

“I won’t bother you then, have a  good rest…” He said again.

“Thank you… See you later” I ended the call.

Then, another phone call coming… She received it without seeing the name on the screen.

“Hello… Seohyun-ssi?”

“….Hello…” I paused for a moment, hesitated to answer.

“It’s Chris. I have something important to talk to you, do you have time? Can I come to your house?” he rushed.

“It’s not a good time today, I don’t feeling well…”

“What’s wrong? Are you sick? Have you go to the doctor? How about take meds?” He was anxious, I can hear it all over his voice.

“I’m fine.” I said in short.

“But, it’s really important…”

“Please… don’t… ” I haven’t finished my word.

“I don’t know who I am back then, but I know who you are. You are someone important to me. And honestly, I cannot remember a single thing about us, but I know you are special to me, so please don’t fall in love with other guy. I know this is crazy and you might think that I’m insane, but I will try my best to recall my memory… and even if I couldn’t, please give me a chance to make new and happy memories with you.” He finished his words.

I don’t know what to say, I’m speechless and I have no words left to say to him. Tears flowing down from my eyes, my endless hope about his return, my constant nightmares and day dream about him, my prayers has finally been answered.

“Now, I realize why my heart beats so fast when you’re near. My heart recognizes you. I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused, I know you’re suffering because of me and I’ll try my best to make it up to you from now on…” He talked softly.

“I… I don’t know how to respond to what you’ve just said to me. I’m confused. You broke my heart and you wish to take it back now, do you know how hard it is to live without you? You promised me that you will stay beside me, but you leave me, you leave me all alone” I was full of rage and sadness, but I still managed to talk even the tears threaten to flow down anytime soon and I choose to end the call before I broke down on tears.

Oh my god… Oh my god… I never thought it could be this hard… I want him back, yet I want him to feel how I feel years ago when he left me all alone.

I curled into a ball on my bed, I sobbed uncontrollably.

 I wish I was brave enough to let him go, I wish I could live like a normal person. But, I still wonder how to live happily when your other soul abandoned you and left without saying goodbye.

END of POV

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Chris put on his casual clothes before drive to Seohyun’s house. He was really worried about her. He will spend the rest of his life trying to make up his mistakes. Even though, he never really knows who he was and how’s his personality back then, and whether he treats her well or not. He was on the blurred lines. He really wished that she could forgive him and so they can start over. If he ever get the chance, he will treat her right and make her the happiest person in the entire world.

He finally arrived in front of her door, he knocked on it several times, but no one opened it. He knew that she must be at home, so he tried knocking several times more.

She peeked in through the hole on her door and sighed deeply when she saw the person outside. It was Chris and there’s one more person walked toward her door, it was Minhyuk. She decided not to open the door until they both leave her premises.

“You’re Chris, right?” Minhyuk greet him.

“Yes, what are you doing here?” Chris asked him.

“I’m the one who are supposed to ask you the same question? What are you doing in here?” He seems irritated by Chris presence.

“I want to talk to Seohyun.” Chris answered coldly.

“For what matter?”

“It’s none of your business. I know you’re always with her since I left. But you don’t have any rights to intervene anything between me and her.”

“Wow… now you remember? Do you know how hard it is to keep your dark little secret? Do you know how much guilt that I need to bear whenever I saw her? You have no idea at all and you better keep your mouth shut, because it’s me who are here, next to her on her darkest time.” Minhyuk poured his anger out.

Seohyun stunned for a moment at the back of her door as she heard what Minhyuk said, so Minhyuk knew about Yonghwa’s whereabout and never told me about it. He knew everything, but chose not to talk, even though he knew how much I suffered. This is was all lie and I don’t believe any of them anymore.

Chris stared at him for a while, couldn’t believe what he said. “Tell me… tell me what I told you back then…” He grabbed on Minhyuk’s t-shirt and pressed him on the door.

“Let me go!” Minyuk punched his face, make his side lips covered with a little blood.

“Tell me!” Chris shouted, wiped the blood off his side lips.

“You tell me, you have brain tumors and need to go to US to get a surgery, you said you’ve only got 40% chance to live, the doctor said either you died or you suffered permanent disability for the rest of your life. I guess, you are lucky, huh?” Minhyuk was pissed.

Chris felt like he wanted to puke, he sat down on the porch trying to process everything that Minhyuk said. Minhyuk keep staring at him while clenching his fist out of anger.  

In sudden, Seohyun opened her door. Both of the guys looked at her in surprised.

“You both need to leave now!” She shouted angrily.

“I won’t leave until you invite me in.” Chris said stubbornly.

“Hyunnie, are you okay now?” Minhyuk asked.

“Suits yourself! I’m not okay! You lie to me, go away!” Seohyun pointed finger at Minhyuk and slammed her door.

“I’m sorry for causing all this mess” Chris said.

“I will never forgive you for what you’ve done.” Minhyuk left.

Chris got up and decided to sit down inside his car, waiting for her to come out. But that day, Seohyun never leave her house. Chris got back to his penthouse in vain. 

To Be Continued.....