I think

Letting you go

Is more crueler than dying

Maybe I loved you too severely

Flashback

It was bright day in the park on Sunday morning, they decided to spend the days together and have a picnic, Yonghwa leans his head on her lap, they were very happy that day.

“Hyunnie, you know I love you right?” Yonghwa smiled at her.

“Of course I know it, Oppa... Nadu Saranghae”

“I won’t leave you, I promised…” They linked their pinky fingers together and sealed the promised.

“Just keep your promise, Oppa… because I can’t live without you”

“I will baby, don’t worry…” He pecked her lips.

Suddenly his cellphone rings and after a short conversation he ends it.

“Who is that Oppa?”

“It’s my friend baby, he tells me to help him do something…”

“Oh, so you wanna help him now?”

“No, not now… I can go there after this picnic” He smiled at her, his smile is like a vitamin to her, it can bright and lift up her day.

That was the first lie he ever told her, it wasn’t his friend who called him. It was his private doctor who wants to reveal his CT scanning’s result. Actually, it’s been a long time since Yonghwa got this severe headache which make his vision becomes blurry, sometimes he even can hear a thing, like being deaf. Then, he decided to get a CT scan. He’s got the intuition that he must be having something serious in his head and he was totally right. The doctor said that there’s a tumors inside his head and he should take an immediate action before he loss his vision completely and becomes blind. But, they can’t guarantee that the surgery will be succeed, he only has 40% chances to live, the other 60% is he will suffered a permanent disability or he will died immediately after the surgery.

He was devastated by that news, it was horrible. He said that he won’t leave her, but now he has to leave her whether he want it or not. Because he doesn’t want her to worry about him or even cry because of him, so he thought of leaving her without saying the last goodbye to her. He cannot think of any other way, because he doesn’t want her to find out about his sickness and he thought that if he leaving her like this, she will hate him and forget him easily, so that even if he died, he doesn’t have to be worried so much about how her go through her life. The night after he heard that news, he goes to her house and pretends like nothing happened. He act like he used to be, but slowly he moves away from her until the day he leave the country to US. Of course she noticed the change in his attitude, but she never thought that he could leave her all alone.

He doesn’t have any family anymore, his parents were died a couple years ago leaving and inherit a small business for him. The only friend he’s got is only Kang Minhyuk, they shared everything, Minhyuk is like a brother to him and a best friend. Minhyuk refused to let him leaving Seohyun just like that, but he has no choice at all. Minhyuk also known the consequences if he insists to say the truth to her, so he just follows Yonghwa’s decision and keep silence, even though he really felt bad about this. Minhyuk is also Seohyun’s best friend, so Minhyuk keep accompanying her after Yonghwa’s left. Hiding the darkest secret by himself and since then he never get any news from Yonghwa.

She cries all night longing for him, looking for his presence and going through her sleepless night all alone, no one seems understand her at all. She was so broken, she cannot breathe properly, and she locked herself in her room until everyone was so worried about her. Lucky, she still has her best friend who always being there for her, so that she didn’t do anything stupid like attempting suicide. She is aware that she shouldn’t waiting for him anymore even though her heart seems don’t want to let him go just like that. She needs to hear if he didn’t love her anymore, so that her heart will be more relief. But, she never had a chance to do that.

End of flashback

She gets out from the bathroom with a little courage that she had, she approached him and Jungshin again, distracted all her hatred and pain in her heart. She want to know is he just pretending not to know her or he really got amnesia and if he does she will smacked him in the head so that he could remember her again. At least, that is what she can think of right now.

“Are you okay now?” Jungshin asked.

She just nodded and flash a smile, then looked back at Chris.

“I’m Chris Jung” He smiled and holds out his hand.

“I’m Seo Joohyun, you can called me Seohyun” She forced a smile and shake his hand.

It was the same hand; she never forget the feeling when he used to hold her hand when they’re together. She missed him so much. She really hope he could remember all the memories they had. But she thinks it was impossible, how he could remember all the memories they had, if he even didn’t remember her at all. She was drowned in her own thought.

“Seohyun-ssi, are you okay?” His voice brings her back to reality.

“I’m fine…” She said.

“Do you want your usual drink?” Jungshin asked.

“Yes, I would love that…” She tried to hide her confusedness and sadness. She talked like nothing happened; she always succeeds in doing so, all she does is just smiles to anyone, so that they won’t know about her true feeling. She feels so pathetic right now. Then suddenly she thought of Minhyuk, she should tell Minhyuk to meet him too. Maybe he knows if it’s really him. She tried to call Minhyuk, but he didn’t answer the phone and she gives up, maybe some other time she will arrange a meeting for them.

“What about you hyung?”

“Just give me the same drink as what Seohyun-ssi ordered”

“Okay then.. You both just wait here” Jungshin gets up from his seat and smiled at them.

They have nothing to talk about and the situation is so quiet, but then the conversation is flow naturally. They talked so comfortably with each other, even though Seohyun still feel the pain in her heart whenever she looked at his face. But, she keeps pushing her hatred away for a while just to get to know him more, but he just so mysterious.

Jungshin brings the drink for them,

“So this is your favorite drink?” Chris asked her.

“Yes, hot chocolate”

Chris sipped the drink a bit and he said it was delicious. Seohyun just keep her poker face and drink hers carefully since its hot. Seohyun really want to tell Minhyuk about him maybe later.

“Oh gosh, I should go now” Chris looked at his watch.

“Sure, hyung… take care! Please come again” Jungshin smiled at him.

“See you later, Jungshin and Seohyun-ssi” He bowed and leaves the café.

“I guess I have to go too, bye Jungshin… thank you for the hot chocolate” She bowed.

“Naee… take care” Jungshin said.

Later at night

“Yobuseyo… can we meet at the usual place, naee” she hang up as Minhyuk agreed to meet at the usual place.

she walked to the usual ice cream store, where they used to hang out together even before Yonghwa left.  She arrived first and choose the table near the window. She ordered goguma ice cream for myself and waiting for Minhyuk to come.

“Hyunnie…” He called her as he enters the store.

“Aigoo, what takes you so long?”

“Just a bit busy with work, what do you want to talk about? I’m curious to dead” He chuckles.

“I think Yonghwa is back”

Minhyuk’s expression was drastically changes; he was shocked and cannot believe what she just said. But then he smiled again.

“Are you sure?”

“I think so, I met him just now in Jungshin’s café”

“I don’t want to put too much hope”

“You are supposed to be happy…” She frowned.

“Of course I will be happy if he’s really back, but seriously I don’t want you to get hurt again, so don’t put too much hope okay, maybe he just had similar face with Yonghwa”

“That is why I want you to meet him to make sure if it was him”

“Okay okay” He sighed.

“I will tell you if I meet him again”

“Okay, now eat your ice cream, it’s melting!” He smiled.

“Arraseoyo, do you want some?”

“Sure!” She feeds him some of her ice cream.

They were talked happily to each other, while from a far a guy watching them smiled happily to each other. It’s Chris.

Is that guy her boyfriend? Why I feel like something was stuck in my chest, it’s hard to breathe suddenly. I don’t understand. 

Chapter 3's song --->