You actually become a lot closer to Jonghyun. He'd told you funny stories and always make you laugh. He'd always call you just to ask how you've been. You actually feel a bit relieved after all the stress you've been having lately. You were watching TV with MBLAQ and SHINee when BEAST came.

"Yo!" Doojoon said and sit with you guys.

Jonghyun automatically shifted closer to you to make space for BEAST to sit. And being and observant guy, Junhyung saw it all. More importantly he saw how you didn't look uncomfortable. He glanced at Joon who's sitting next to you with a frown and jealousy written all over his face. He decided to sit next to Joon.

"Hyung, she's with him for real now?" Junhyung asked and Joon glared at him.

"No!" he hissed a bit loud, making you look at them in confusion.

"are you guys okay?" you asked replied with a quick nod, then Jonghyun get your attention. He started to sing along when a girl group came out. Yoseob and key followed. You giggled at Jonghyun's attempt to act cute in front of you, receiving a slap from Key.

"ugly dino." Key mumbled.

"YA KEY !" Jonghyun stomp his feet, making you laugh even louder. 

"Jina! NOT FUNNY" he pouted.

"It is hyung" Mir, taemin and Dongwoon laugh.

While you were laughing around, Joon and Junhyung went outside to talk.

"I thought you're gonna talk to rain hyung." Junhyung opened the conversation.

"i was going to when he suddenly announced she's gonna get married to Jonghyun." Joon sigh.

"I don't want to lose her" joon continued.

"You won't. But Jonghyun, he's not gonna let her go easily. He likes her. And he knows that with her being with him, she can live peacefully" Junhyung said. Joon turned his head to Junhyung in despair.

"what should i do then? He kept calling her. 'how are you?' "have you eat?' 'what are you doing?' "what time will you be here?' " Joon mimicked Jonghyun's voice, and junhyung chuckled.

"jealous guy." he smirked.

"i'm not." joon blushed, making junhyung laugh.

"let's go back hyung. Just make sure she stays with you always." he said and drag Joon back inside, relieved that you and the guys still joking around, messing up with jonghyun.

***

"Jonghyun." Joon called him. 

Jonghyun followed Joon to the kitchen. "what is it hyung?" he asked.

"i want you not to get too close with jina.She's mine" joon said.

"I know she's yours." he said and then continued.

"but the fact that i like her and she will be happy with me, makes me wanna make her move on soon. She doesn't deserve to be with you. You're gonna hurt her all over again. She can smile now. She can laugh, really genuine laugh. Hyung, you want to take it away from her?" 

Joon didn't say anything. He's speechless. After a moment of silence he finally spoke.

"but her true happiness is with me, Jonghyun. Don't forget that. She belongs with me." Joon firmly said.

"If it's true, then she won't hesitate to quit WGM or even not joinin WGM in the first place." jonghyun said.

"She didn't want anyone to get hurt." Joon hissed.

"Well, it proves that your loves is second in her life. She has something more important in her heart than your love." Jonghyun said.

"She's kind. That's why." Joon said, more like trying to convince himself. Jonghyun's word without a doubt making him worry about him and Jina. Jonghyun let out a sigh.

"She's kind. But still, your relationship is not her priority. I can make her happier. If she's with me, she won't have to go through this. You seriously didn't think she agrees to WGm just because of her loved ones right? she wants to get out of the pain. That's why she said yes. She's trying to move on but you held her back. She told me everything hyung. And i know, she's trying to  move on. But you. You , hyung, you're the one who's making it harder for her. Making it harder for her to be happy. THAT'S why she said okay to this virtual marriage." Jonghyun spoke before he left Joon with a broken heart, a doubt for his relationship with you.

Joon can't say anything because he knows it's true. He's been trying to hold you back. 

'there, i said it. He'll back off right? he should.. and Jina should move on too...' Jonghyun said as he went to sit next to you and started to chat with you.

"i'm gonna get some snack first" you stand up and went to the kitchen to find Joon with his hands covered his face, sitting on a chair.

"oppa, what happened?" you touch his shoulder and he flinch.

"is it true?" he asked, his face is still buried.

"what is true?" you asked.

"that you agree to be in WGM not just because you didn't want us to get hurt, but because you want to run away. Because you want to move on and i'm being a fool who love you, i keep holding you back." he said.

You stared at him in shock.

"i-i..." you stammered, unable to say anything, your tears running down your cheek. You were disappointed at him, because of what he said. You used to try to move on but not anymore. You're trying to make your relationship work now, but with Joon doubting your feeling...

"you can't even answer me huh?!" He shouted and you jump.

MBLAQ, BEAST, and SHINee run to the kitchen, and they gasped at the view. You were trying so hard not to cry, but tears kept falling down, and Joon is now standing in front of you with anger in his eyes.

"it's not like that" your voice trembled.

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT? THEN WHY DO YOU SAY YES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!" He shouted even louder and this time you broke down and started to cry, making the audience shocked again since they never see you cry, except for G.O and Junyung and Jonghyun.

"she's crying?" Taemin whispered to Minho.

"I have to.. i- i have to." you sob.

"YOU HAVE TO?! THEN WHAT ABOUT ME?! DOES MY HEART NEVER CROSS IN YOUR MIND WHEN YOU MAKE THIS DECISSION?!" Joon Shouted.

"enough." a low voice said. Everyone turned and saw G.O walking towards you and Joon. He positioned himself between you and Joon, to prevent Joon hurting you even more.

"you shouldn't shout." G.O said in a calm voice, and the dorm is filled with dead silence.... and the sound of you sobbing.

"I shouldn't shout? Well TELL HER THAT SHE SHOULDN'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE THIS!" Joon shouted again and this time, G.O punched him.

"I told you not to shout. I'm your hyung. Show some respect and your voice is disturbing." G.O said to Joon who's now on the floor. 

You gasped and hurriedly went to Joon to help him up, forgetting that he just yelled at you a minute ago. Joon pushed you away and you fell on your . You winced.

"yah. you must be blind to do that. She help you after what you did to her." Another voice spoke up.

"Cmon, jina, let's just go" he said and pick you up from the floor, holding your hand and take you outside the kitchen, outside the dorm, back to your dorm. You still have a shock look in your face, ever since Joon pushed you hard until you fell. Your tears cannot stop falling.

He hugs you when you're in your dorm.

"don't cry jina. You know i'm here right?" he whispered and you cried even harder.

"i'm tired. I want to die..." you cried.

"don't. People would get hurt more if you die. They love you." he said and caressed your wet cheek.

"then what about what i feel? did i even cross their minds? I have to think about everyone's feeling. I can't hurt anyone. But in the end, i got hurt again, and again" you cried and he hug you again.

This time, he didn't say anything and so do you. He kept rubbing your back and hug you until you stop crying. Then he take you to your bedroom, putting you on your bed and sit on the floor next to you.

"Sleep now jina. You'll feel better tomorrow" he smiled.

"i'm afraid.. i want to go back to US. I want my brother..." you cried again and keep on mumbling Jiyong's name.

He sigh and touch your cheek.

"I'll call him now okay?" he said with a smile and you nodded.

He took your phone and call jiyong.

"jina!" Jiyong answered in joy.

"Hyung. it's not jina" he said.

"who's this?"

"jina needs you now. Please... please come and be with her." He said, not answering Jiyong's question.

"I'll be there in 10" jiyong said and hung up.

He went back inside your room and find you still crying, calling Jiyong's name.

"He'll be here in 10" he said. You look into his eyes and mouthed thank you.

"I'll be outside okay. Call me if you need anything." he said and you nodded.

He wait in the living room until Jiyong came.

"what happened to her?" Jiyong asked.

He told Jiyong everything and he saw how Jiyong's expression hardened.

"i'll go back now hyung. You should be with her" he said and left.

"thanks" jiyong said when he opened the door.

"for what?' he asked.

"for being with Jina, when Joon is being a jerk. For calling me." Jiyong said.

He smiled and nod before he close the door and Jiyong run to your room.

"oppa" you weakly spoke. He runs to you and hug you. his tears fell.

"Jina... i'm here now. I'm here. Oppa's here" he said and you nodded.

"oppa, i'm tired. I'm scared." you cried.

"oppa will be here always. I'll be with you jina." Jiyong tried to calm you down.

"Joon oppa.. he-- he" you cried.

"i know, ..." 

"don't hurt him. he has a reason to act like that" you said.

"Jina, stop hurting yourself. You should think about what you should feel before others...." jiyong said and cupped your face.

 Your eyes were swollen and read. He smile bitterly and wipe the tears away. He kissed you forehead and lie next to you.

"you're staying?" you asked him.

"I think I'll live here" Jiyong said.

"really?" you stared at him in disbelief.

"you don't want it?" he teased you. You shook your head and smile weakly.

"i want it. " you said.

That night, everything exploded and like a bomb, it can't be stop once it was lit.

***

2011/03/19 saturday

by seoulchae

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