Jonghyun never really thought about his uality, so it did kind of caught him by surprise when all of a sudden he was crushing on a boy. He had always found the typical "teenagers question their uality when going through puberty" complete bull because he was already sixteen, and never had he really thought about whether he liked girls, boys or both. He just never had a reason to.

He had always fallen in love with girls, at one point he even thought he had a crush on his guitar, so saying that it wasn't slightly scary to be crushing on a boy would be a lie. He couldn't help but feel a little scared, because all this was so new to him.

But then again, the butterflies in his stomach when he as much as thought about him were so overwhelming that he didn't even acknowledge the anxiety anymore.

It was a wonderful feeling, but at the same time also a really frustrating one because he couldn't seem to muster up the courage to go talk to him. 
All they did was secretly look at each other, catch each other looking at them and awkwardly smile.

Jonghyun had found out that his name was Kibum, he was fifteen and it didn't surprise him when he heard from a friend that Kibum really liked to draw. He had taken notice of his small, hands with his pretty, slim fingers and nice nails. They were kind of really perfect and Jonghyun bit his lip as he thought about those pretty fingers locked with his.

There were times they would cross each other's paths when walking down the corridor, their eyes locking and cheeks flushing and lips turning into shy smiles. All of it was really awkward, but it felt so good. Because for some reason, Jonghyun didn't feel so self conscious. He had caught Kibum looking at him more than once, and it never failed to make his heart flutter in a way he thought it was going to burst out of his chest and fly away.

None of his friends knew about his little crush, maybe they were already a little suspicious because of his constant daydreaming and zoning out but if that was the case, they would've asked and about it a long time ago.

He was never the type to hide his emotions, he could care less if his friends knew about him crushing on a girl, and even if this time was different because it wasn't a girl but a boy, he didn't care. If they'd ask him about it, he'd tell them, he had never really thought about the consequences of falling in love with someone from the same gender and he wasn't planning on thinking about such thing any time soon.

If people truly cared about him, they would care as less about the situation as he did.

-

Jonghyun was in the cafetaria with his friends, eating lunch like they always did. He had spotted Kibum from the moment they entered, sitting at the table across from them with his friends. He was poking his salad, looking down at his tray in disinterest and Jonghyun's heart fluttered.
He tried to look at him in the most subtle way possible, occasionally bringing his fork to his mouth, glancing up to watch his pretty crush sitting there nibbling on his food, trying not to choke on whatever he had just stuffed into his mouth, and looking back down.

He was sitting at the table with all of Minho's football friends, they were also his friends but all they really talked about was football and other boring sports Jonghyun didn't care about so he didn't bother to join their conversation, carefully keeping his eyes trained on Kibum.

When the boy looked up all of a sudden, their eyes finding each other, Jonghun found himself drowning and not having the urge to look back away. His palms began sweating a little, he noticed, and all the chatter of the kids around him got blocked out as all of his attention went to the beautiful boy looking at him with those big, brown eyes.

The right corner of his lip slightly curled upwards, a little grin/smile appearing on his lips that had something unintentionally seductive to it while all he really tried was for him to come over as friendly, not a player.
When he saw an adorable shade of pink creeping up the others cheeks he couldn't help but congratulate himself, feeling proud to be able to let his crush blush with just one, tiny little smile. He felt more than just accomplished, he felt as if he was floating around on white, fluffy clouds in a clear blue sky on a beautiful Spring day. It was wonderful, really, to see his crush reacting to him in that way.

Kibum had quickly looked down at his tray when he noticed Jonghyun's smile got bigger because he was blushing, and the older boy swore there was a sudden eruption of butterflies in his stomach as Kibum tried to hide his face behind his fringe.

He cocked his head to the side a little when suddenly a boy came from behind Kibum, covering his eyes and putting his finger to his mouth for the others at the table to keep quiet. Jonghyun noticed Kibum was surprised at first, but then giggled and he saw him guessing the intruder's name. 

When the boy pulled back his hands and Kibum looked up, the stranger bent down and left a big, wet kiss on his cheek. 
Jonghyun narrowed his eyes, grip on his fork getting stronger and jeaousy bubbling inside of him. Who did this kid think he was.
He couldn't just walk up to his crush and kiss him like it was the most normal thing in the world. Jonghyun's jaw clenched, watching how a little smile played on Kibum's lips. So he was happy that the other guy kissed him ? Why was he smiling ? He didn't smile at him just a minute ago.

Jonghyun quickly looked away, sighing internally and realizing he had lost his appetite. He stood up, faking a smile at his friends who sent him confused looks and telling them they would meet up later that day, grabbing his bag and fleeting out of the cafetaria. He swore he could feel a pair of brown eyes piercing in his back.

He speed walked down the hallways, avoiding from bumping into other people and keeping his head cast down. His emotions were just overwhelming and it had caught him off guard. He didn't know where all this was coming from, he never knew his crush had such a huge impact on him. 
He made his way to the back of the school, where normally nobody was at this time and where he first saw Kibum. He slid down the lockers and sat down on the tiles, wrapping his arms around his legs and pulling them to his chest.

He laid his forehead against his knees, exhaling slowly and swallowing thickly. His hormones were running wild and only now he realized how confusing puberty really was.

He wasnt' just jealous, he was also angry. Why did Kibum just let the other kiss him.

He sighed.

Biting his lip in irritation, he squeezed his eyes shut. His heart was pounding, he wasn't sure whether is was because he was angry or because he was thinking about Kibum again. It was pounding so loud, Jonghyun swore he could hear it echoeing through the hallways as if it wanted to reach his crush's ears.

He bit back a smile as he thought about the younger boy. He was so bipolar, he realised. One moment he was almost shaking with anger, the other he turns into one big puddle of pink heartshaped goo, all giddy and bubbly because of the mere thought of Kibum.
He couldn't helpt it, his crush was just too pretty, too cute, too perfect.

His tummy tingled, a soft pink appearing on his cheeks and his teeth sinking into the soft flesh of his bottom lip. He held his breath as he thought about Kibum and his pretty hands, wondering how soft they would feel and imagining his slim fingers in between the gaps of his own. He thought about his nice hair and how it always looked so good. How y it was when he would flip his bangs out of his eyes or how cute he looked when he would come back from P.E. and still had his bangs pinned atop of his head.

He thought about his clothes and how nice they always were, his pretty brown eyes that could look at him so lovingly, sweetly, almost longingly.
His long legs, his flat chest, his pink lips.

Jonghyun sighed. Puberty .

-

Jonghyun was leaning against the wall next to the door of Minho's history class, his teacher got called sick a minute before last period and they couldn't find a substitute anymore. His best friend had promised to come home with him again so that they could do their chemistry homework together. Jonghyun was determined to not fail that subject again this year.

There were already a couple of kids in the corridors but none he really knew or could socialize with, so he decided to awkwardly stay at his wall, hoping time would go faster. He blinked a couple of times, his eyes occasionally drooping because it had been a long, exhausting day and it had to take a loud, obnoxious laughter or a bang of a locker for him to shoot up from his dozing off.

His fatigue, however, turned into the complete opposite when he saw a familiar figure walking out his way. He tried to lean against the wall as casual as possible, hands behind his back and eyes trained on the lockers in front of him and not on the person coming out his way, heart pounding in what seemed every part of his body when his crush turned his back on him and opened his locker.

Jonghyun gulped, staring at the other's backside with wide eyes and a straight face. Kibum seemed to have not noticed him and he took advantage of that, eyeing his crush from head to toe.

He shivered. Not too broad shoulders, nice back, a waist where his hands would fit perfectly, nice and long legs. Jonghyun closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down and biting his bottom lip to prevent something like a groan from escaping his mouth.
Kibum was wearing acid washed jeans tucked in black Doctor Martens and a black v-neck, he looked stunning as always and Jonghyun felt his mouth water when Kibum bent down to grab a book that had fallen down with being too clumsy.

He quickly shook his head, looking down to the ground and trying not to look at the other for too long. He knew he'd lose it if he did.
Stupid, stupid hormones.
He pursed his lips together, contemplating on saying hi since he didn't have anything to do anyways. But then again, how the hell was he supposed to just casually walk up to his crush and say hi while all they had ever been around each other was awkward.

He sighed softly, and Kibum seemed to have heard it as his head swiftly turned around, flipping his bangs to the side in the progress and staring at Jonghyun. The older boy's eyes widened, his body tensing up and noticing that the freshman reacted the same way.

See, Jonghyun thought, awkward.

He slowly exhaled through his nose, watching how Kibum tried to smile at him as natural as possible but miserably failing. Jonghyun opened his mouth just slightly, wanting to say something but not able to get something decent out.

"U-um," He said dumbly, fingers knotting together behind his back as nervousness engulfed his brain and body. "H-hey," He croaked out, showing Kibum the smallest smile he had in store for him. At this point, he swore his brain stopped working because he didn't even think when he stepped forward shyly, hands finding their way to his pockets.

Kibum turned around entirely so that they were facing each other, an evident blush on his cheeks when he shot a quick look at Jonghyun's open shirt that partly revealed his chest. Jonghyun had the feeling he was going to faint.

"Hi," Kibum said in a slightly high pitched voice, fiddling with his fingers and awkwardly looking at Jonghyun.

There was no point of turning back anymore, Jonghyun thought, this was it. He had to talk to him, he had to stop being such a coward and talk to him like the man he was.

"My name is ... Jonghyun," he stated embarrassedly, showing Kibum another one of his smiles, this time a little bigger and less shy. He took his hand out of his pocket and stuck it out.
"I'm Kibum," The other replied, still a bit shy and still slightly blushing as he lightly grabbed the others hand and shook it.

Jonghyun's stomach almost exploded, little light bulbs or something akin to fireworks erupting in his stomach when their hands touched. Kibum's hand really felt as soft as it looked like. Just  incredibly soft and perfect, he would sell his soul to be able to hold them forever and leave gentle kisses on them.

He almost forgot to let go, shyly scratching the back of his head and taking a step back when he noticed it was getting a little awkward again. 
Jonghyun didn't miss the disappointment flashing through the others brown eyes, quickly looking down to the empty space between them and wishing that it wouldn't be there, wishing he could wrap his arms around the other's body or place his hands on his waist, closing the distance between their bodies and pressing their lips together like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"I was just ..." Jonghyun began quietly, not really knowing what to say to someone like Kibum standing right in front of him, "Uhm, waiting for my --" he looked up, watching how Kibum was staring at him so lovingly and it took him a lot of strength to not kiss him right there and then, "friend." He finished, slightly in a daze as he gazed back at the other.

It took the school bell ringing for them both to jump up out of their trance, the two of them furiously blushing and looking anywhere but each other. The door of the classrooms opened and pupils started streaming out. Jonhyun was relieved when nobody noticed the awkward tension between him and Kibum, not like anyone cared.
His cheeks were still bright red when Minho came out of the classroom with his friends, laughing and telling each other goodbye as they all went their own way.

Kibum had quickly turned around to continue his rummaging through his locker when he noticed Minho walking out their way, frowning confusedly as he saw Jonghyun awkwardly standing in the middle of the corridor, looking at Kibum's back with still a slight blush painting his cheeks.

"Uhm, Jonghyun ?" Minho tried to catch his attention, surprising his friend as he looked up at him in horror. "O-oh, hi,"
"What are you doing here ?" His friend asked, eyes going from Jonghyun to Kibum and back. He raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing ?" Jonghyun squeeked out and noticed Kibum's body tensing up. He tried to ignore the supsicious look his friend gave him and ran a hand through his brown locks, trying to keep it casual and non-awkward. "Uh .. let's go ?" He asked, relaxing his muscles so that it didn't seem he just had his first conversation with his crush. If you could call it that, of course.

"Yeah ... sure," Minho said, still suspicious but shrugging it off after a while. Jonghyun faked a smile, waiting for his friend to sling his bag over his shoulders and heading for the exit afterwards.

He subtly turned his head a little, watching Kibum as he walked away and taking a shaky breath when Kibum looked back.
He showed him a small smile, heart fluttering and twisting when his crush gave him a shy smile in return.

He really had to stop doing that though, 
not realizing he would smack against a row of lockers a second later.

***

shaking an crying because it was not my intention to update this late.
Hope you guys enjoyed this, please let me know. waffles for everybody ! yey !

The very last part is kinda rushed because it's already 3 am, forgive me okay ? love you ^^