Is That All We'll Ever Be?

{1,610 words}; edited

We have been friends forever. Maybe we weren’t childhood friends, and maybe we just knew each other since almost 5 years ago. Since then, we have went through thick and thin together. We met when we were about to graduate from elementary school. Having to know each other while applying for a high school. From there, we just clicked off like we were destined to be best friends.

We play together, eat together, watch movies together, prank people together. You could say that we were partners in crime as well. We could talk about anything. Anything except for the topic about... love. Somehow, we grow awkward when we try to talk about it. We always tried to change the topic, no matter how much we wanted to know who the other person has a crush on.

Although I did not dare to tell him, but I always kept my feelings in my heart. My feelings towards him. But now, I doubt I can hide my feelings anymore, as I felt the pain in my heart. It felt like my heart was slowly cracking into pieces, as I hid my tears and looked into his direction.

“Congratulations! Myungsoo-ah! You’ve done well.” People in the surrounding were congratulating him. He confessed his feelings to one of our mutual good friends, Minhye and she accepted him. She accepted his feelings, and they became an official couple. Of course, I should feel happy for them. I know deep down inside my heart, Im still happy for them, but somehow, all I could feel now is the pain in my chest. For some reasons, I just felt like escaping from this place.

Although I do admit that Minhye and Myungsoo are fit for each other, but the selfish part of me wants me and him to be together. I know that would be impossible now, and thus.. I think its time for me to give up.

--

Bell rang, ending this horrible day. I quickly packed my stuff before quickly getting out of school, avoiding Myungsoo, unlike the usual routine of waiting for him at my locker. I took the long way out today, so as to avoid Myungsoo to the maximum and went home immediately. I never knew when I started to like him, but all I knew was that when I realised that I fell in love with him, I never knew it was going to be so hard to forget about him. Thank god it was the weekends, I could go to the seaside for as long as I want.

Whenever I’m sad or feeling down, I would always go to the seaside. Feeling the sea breeze blowing through my hair and hitting onto my face. The sounds of the seagulls and waves washing upshore. Those were things that manage to calm me down and make me feel happy again.

Without hesitating, I immediately went to pack my clothes for 2 days into my backpack, and went off to buy a plane ticket to Busan. Busan was really near the sea, and I always went there whenever I am free. The people in the market knows me really well, as I was a loyal customer to them, furthermore I came from Seoul and it was rare for someone from Seoul to go to Busan every now and then.

Those people made me happy too. I am not those kind of people to stay sad forever as well, and that’s because I know that whatever happens, people will have to move on. Exploring Busan around for the next 2 days, I was reluctant to leave Busan, but I still had to go back to Seoul. Returning to Seoul, I promised myself that I will no longer be as sad anymore, and that I will use my heart to congratulate Myungsoo and Minhye being together.

The week passed by rather fast, and I was rather thankful that Myungsoo and Minhye did not do much skinship, otherwise I would fear what was going to happen to my broken heart. I wonder if he remembers. I thought. It was already wednesday, and the coming Friday would mark the 5th year of our friendship. I wanted to celebrate with him, but I didn’t know what to do, and I really doubt that he actually remembers the day. However, I thought to myself, that was the only day I am going to be selfish, to take Myungsoo for myself, and celebrate with him our 5th year of our friendship, before really letting him go, once and for all.

However, I was even more disappointed when he said that he did not have time to celebrate with me.

“Myungsoo-ah! Do you wanna go out with me on friday, like just hanging out or something?” I asked Myungsoo like how I would normally.

“I’m sorry Melody! I have a date with Minhye on friday. How about Saturday?” Myungsoo said while frowning.

“Never mind then. Its fine.” I replied while smiling weakly. I think he really forgot our anniversary already so I just pushed away the thought of celebrating with him.

--

Friday came. The sun shone brightly into my eyes as I took a peek around my surrounding. School starts late today and I did not have the mood to even go to the school. I forced myself out of bed and prepared myself to go to school. I was devastated when I was on the way to school. Myungsoo and Minhye were helding hands while walking to school, oblivious of their surroundings. They looked very sweet together, and they looked like they were talking about sweet-nothings to each other.

Running away from both of them, in the opposite direction, I decided to ditch school for the day. I ran all the way back home, wiping my tears as it flowed down my cheeks.

Distracted, I got a call from my distance cousin, I sniffed as I picked up the call.

“Hello?” I croaked.
“Hey Melody! You okay?!” My cousin said.
“I guess so...” I replied coldly.
“If you’re feeling down you can come find me you know? Your vacations in one week after all.” My cousin suggested.

He made sense, I should go visit him as well. Anyways, its just one week of school, it doesn’t hurt to skip a week of school as well. I agreed to his suggestion as he booked me the earliest ticket to go off to USA, which was around midnight. I decided to pack everything in my luggage first, distracting myself with that.

I was unable to think of Myungsoo, as whenever I thought about him, the tears just drops down from my eyes uncontrollably. I knew my eyes were red and sore at late afternoon. I was really hungry, as I haven’t been eating since morning.

I stayed at home, and went online to twitter. Friends were spamming my twitter mentions, “Where are you Melody?” “Why aren’t you in school?” “Hey, you okay?” One tweet caught my eyes though. Minhye wrote a mention to me. “I thought I saw you today. Why weren’t you in school today, Melody?”

Despite my efforts for calming myself down after crying for so long, upon seeing Minhye’s tweet, I started crying again. I did not make a reply to everyone’s mentions, but instead, I tweeted, “I’m leaving today...”

I killed time, and evening came by. I was famished by then, without energy to do anything at all. But as stubborn as I was, I did not want to eat. Until I got a bell ring. I slowly went to the door as my legs slightly wobbled from the lack of sugar I have. I looked through the peekhole, shocked to see Myungsoo outside my door.

I was about to walk away when Myungsoo shouted. “Melody! I know you are in there! Come out!” My heart softened a little, but I still did not want to open the door. “Happy 5th anniversary Melody!” He shouted as a last resort. At that moment, all I wanted to do is just see him, and embrace him. I opened the door slowly, as he barged into my apartment and hugged me tightly.

I felt his warm passed on to me. It has been a very long time since he hugged me. Suddenly, I felt very dizzy and I lose all my senses.

---

I woke up, smelling food, to be specific, samgyupsal. I followed the scent of food and it lead me to the kitchen. I saw a familiar back cooking samgyupsal as I took a sit at my kitchen counter. “What are you doing?” I asked Myungsoo. “Cooking, of course.” He answered with a smile. My heart pounded. He never knew his smile always had this effect on me.

“Why are you here? I thought you had a date with Minhye?” I asked him curiously.

Myungsoo transferred the meat to a plate and brought it to me, he then took a seat beside me and replied, “You still don’t get it, do you? I do this because I love you, more then anything else. Minhye was just helping me to see if you liked me.. But i didn’t know I would cause so much damage to you. I’m sorry Melody, please forgive me.” I was astonished. Who knew that he was just doing that to check on me. Why would he do that? I don’t understand..

“But.. why would you wanna check if I liked you?” I asked cluelessly. He then sighed, and inched closer to my face, before putting his lips on mine and kissed me gently as he mouthed while kissing, ‘I love you.’