Baby Steps.

{1,355words}; edited

Oh, with trembling steps, I carefully approach you.

It was the day. I was shaking inside out, trying to hide my nervous feelings, as I saw Chanyeol just right ahead of me. Everything about him was perfect to me. His fashion sense, the way he smiles, the way his hair is styled. Everything.

I try to hide and cover it but it all comes out.

“Lee Hae Rin!” Chanyeol shouted at me as soon as he saw me, he gave me a big wide grin. Chanyeol was my classmate for 2 years straight already. I unconsciously blushed when he had eye contact with me as he slowly walked towards me. “Yo HaeRinnie~~” He went up to me and pinched my cheeks. “Ouch ouch Chanyeol-ah Wae!!!” I whined at him, avoiding eye contact with him. Even though he was older than me by a month I don’t call him oppa. To me, the word is just awkward and disgusting.

We were walking to class together when a girl suddenly approached him. I went off without him as I saw Sunny, my bestfriend on the way. “Sunny~!” I said as I ran to her and gave her a big hug while frowning. “What’s wrong,” Sunny unnie asked me calmly and I just simply shooked my head and walked into class.

---
The bell rang, indicating the end of the school day, and I was at the hallway, on my way to my locker to put my things. Just I was about to do that, “HAE RINNIE!!” I heard a person shouting my name really loudly. Oh no, not again, I thought as I got ready to run, but before I could do so, someone was bear hugging me really tightly, as if I was about to leave the world or something. “Kyuhyun Oppa.. Can you let go of me.” I said it while trying to pull out of the hug.

You guys must be wondering why I call Kyuhyun oppa with an oppa behind. Well, the only reason behind that is that I have known him for as long as I can remember. At least I could remember that I spend most of my childhood days with him and we often played together. He is one year older than me, and he is a senior in the school, thus I do not get to see him as often compared to before anymore.

Kyuhyun oppa reluctantly obliged my request and slowly let go off me while asking, “How are you my cutie pie?” while pinching my cheeks. Is it me or everyone likes my cheeks, I thought as I replied Kyuhyun oppa.

“Bad..” I said while frowning. “Him again?” Kyuhyun oppa said. I nodded my head.. Kyuhyun knows every secret of mine. He even knows that I like Chanyeol but Chanyeol seems to have other girls in his mind. “Maybe you should just do what I said.” Kyuhyun oppa simply suggested.

As I see you, who I can’t touch. I hide because my small shadow might be seen

Day by day, I see Chanyeol getting pulled to a corner by a different girl, not knowing whether he likes those girl or not. I always try to spy on them and listen to what they are saying, although its technically not right for me to do that. But I really wanted to find out. However, I was always too far away from them, and I didn’t find out what the conversation was about.

Maybe.. I should really do what Kyuhyun Oppa has asked me to.

FLASHBACK
One day at Hae Rin’s house.

“Hae Rin-ah~ What are you going to do with this love for Chanyeol?” Kyuhyun just asked for the fun of it.

“Nothing I guess.. What can I do? It’s not that he likes me anyways.” I replied back simply.

“You know, you should try confessing. You never know how a guy might think isn’t it?” Kyuhyun answered.

END OF FLASHBACK.

Looking at how he communicates with girls, he is just nice to everyone.. But should I really just try confessing to him?

Thus, from that day onwards, I started to prepare.. A letter and a teddy bear. I don’t know if Chanyeol is going to accept it and me, but I really hope he would..
--

Oh, the closer I get to you
Somehow the more I'm afraid that you'll get further away

Today was the day.. I was feeling the knots in my stomach as I was preparing myself to go to school. As soon as I reached school, I saw Chanyeol sitting on the bench at the corner of a garden. Chanyeol. Please stay there, do not leave just yet. If you leave I’ll never get an opportunity to do it.

One, Two, my heart
Three, Four, my breath
Five, Six, my entire body walks, only seeing you

At this second, I can hear my heart pounding loudly, as if I just did some excessive exercises. While I tried to breathe while looking at Chanyeol. His unkempt hair just fits him so well that I can stop breathing. While looking at him, I took small steps forward.

Somehow the more I'm afraid that you'll get further away

Before I reached in front of Chanyeol, I thought a little about the consequence of what will happen if he dislikes me. I’m pretty sure he would do that. But would I take a risk for this type of consequences? I decided to go all the way, and passed to him a letter and a teddy bear. He stared at me with his weird eyes, wondering what was going on, before I told him, “Read the letter now.. by yourself.”

It's so hard to read your eyes.

I was looking down on the floor as Chanyeol was reading the letter. I was really curious about what he was thinking while reading the letter and I was really scared about getting rejected. He looked up from the letter, giving me eye contact as I was trying to infer from his look was he was going to say next.

His look was clueless, as if though he did not know what to, but he gave a definite reply, “I’m sorry,” as he walked away immediately afterwards.

--

From that instance onwards, I did not talk to Chanyeol and neither did I make eye contact with him. I was avoiding him at all costs and not talk to him and all, even if it was regarding our project task..

I walk toward you with tearful steps

Now, whenever I see Chanyeol around the hallways, I would be on the verge of tears. I was feeling really dejected and lonely, now that Chanyeol is no longer talking to me and hanging out with me.

I felt like a big piece of my life is empty now, nothing can fill it in.

--
I was staying back after school one day, trying to finish up my assignment before I leave. I thought I was the only one in class, but when I packed my stuff and was about to leave, I was really surprised to see Chanyeol standing by the door of the classroom. Has he been there since school ended? What is he doing here?

A million of questions flashed into my head as he slowly took steps towards my seat. I was really scared about what he was going to do next when he suddenly gave me a hug and said, “I’m really sorry for making you feel bad for this past few days. I actually like you a lot too. Do you want to be my girlfriend?” I was really shocked when he confessed to me. I thought we were never going to be anymore. I was not only surprised but I was shocked too. As I regained my composure, I slowly nodded my head, and in that moment, I felt a soft pair of lips on mine. We kissed tenderly like how normal couples usually do. All I could feel in my heart is, life is complete.

Park Chanyeol. Saranghaeyo. ❤