Summer vacation has ended. It’s was an autumn season.

 Early in the morning, I heard his voice as usual. “Noona, get up! You’ll be late for class!”

“Yaaaaaaaa! I’ll get up when I want to!” I covered my head with a big pillow. He used to go to our house every morning so that we could go to school together.

“Come on noona, get up! You have a major exam today, remember?”

“Oh gosh!” I get up immediately and went to the bathroom. I did it really fast.

We walked down the street on our way to school.

“Noona, did you even brush your teeth?” He was smirking when he said that. I gave him a resentful look. I rolled the reviewer I was holding and hit him hard on his head. “What did you say? Are you out of your mind! I don’t go out without brushing my teeth!” I said.

“Hahahahhaha! I thought I was smelling kimchi.” He said while laughing at me. I know I ate kimchi for breakfast but I did brush my teeth. Hahaha

“Anyway, I’m just kidding. You’re cute when you’re defensive. I’m sorry. If guys would hear what I said, they’d definitely stay away from you! Hahaha. ” I placed my arm over his shoulder and rubbed his hair as I usually do. I noticed something different. He seemed to be taller than before.

“Oh well, someone already asked me to be his date for the highschool prom.”

“R..really?” He said. His tone changed. From a very happy tone a while ago, it became cold. There was a deafening silence.

I decided to break the silence.

“Hey, you have to help me choose my dress later okay?”

“Okay. I’ll go to my room now.” Still sounds cold.

“Okay. See you later.” I’m curious about his sudden coldness. It’s the first time he ever did that. We used to laugh out loud whenever we’re together. But why do I feel guilty now?

*****

After class, he waited for me at the highschool lounge. I saw him sitting alone at one corner, staring at nothing.

“Ya! Did you wait too long?”

“No. I just came. Let’s go.” He said cheerfully, not noticing the big teddy bear I was holding.

“Wait,” he said. “What is that thing in your hand?”

“Oh. It’s a teddy. It’s cute, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. Where did you get that?”

“Oh. Remember my prom partner? He gave me this.” Taemin loves stuffed toys more than I do. It’s kinda weird for a guy but he really does like it.

“Really? Does he like you?” he said curiously.

“Hold this. I don’t want to go to the mall holding this big bear. Haha.” I said. I used to make him hold my things whenever we’re together.

“Noona, you didn’t answer my question.”

“What’s your question oppa?” I said teasingly.

“Does he like you? Do you like him?”

“What if yes?” I said.

“Then, you’re not my noona anymore.” He walks out. He’s really childish. Even more childish for his age. I ran after him.

“What’s wrong with you?” He didn’t answer.

“Come on Taemin, I’m your noona. You’re like my own little brother. But remember that time will come and we will have to go on separate ways. We will be growing up not together. We will fall in love with someone in the future. You should try to make friends with other people your age. I will not always be beside you. Try to be independent.” I told him in a serious manner. It’s actually my first time to say those words. Almost all the things I tell him are foolish when I try to make fun of him. I heard no reply.

“Lee Taemin! You’re getting on my nerves! Speak!”  I said on a higher pitch. People in the mall passing by stopped and looked at me badly.

“I can’t imagine myself without you noona. You’ve been a part of my daily life. If you will have a boyfriend right now, there will be no more Yi Na noona by my side.” He said. He was teary eyed.

“What if I die now!?” I said.

“Don’t say that!”

“What are you gonna do if I die? You’ll just cry until you die too? Or maybe you’re going to kill yourself and die beside me? Look Taemin, your life does not only depend on me being your noona. You have to discover things about yourself to grow. Be manly! You’re already a teenager not a toddler! Grow up Taemin!  ”

“N..noona...” He said softly, with tears flowing in his eyes.

I hugged him very tight. Really tight. And I gave him a kiss on the cheeks. And then, he walked away...