Kai felt his body fixed on the bed. He felt boneless; powerless, not even having the slightest strength to lift up a finger. His eyes were barely seeing anything, but a hint of scent from his pillow was enough to tell him where he was right now; the place where the scent of drugs lingered around. The scent of medicine. The scent of disease. Gradually, he could feel the surrounding even better as his consciousness back into him.

“Was I fallen asleep again?” he asked himself after regaining some energy to move his body. He brought his finger tips to reach his temple, rubbing the bandage on his head. It felt hurt.

“Ah—that light.” He growled in agony, reflexively shutting his eyes close and curling up on the bed. The blinding sunlight coming from the window sent him a jolt of pricking pain to his eyes. His fingers sub-concsiously clawed  his face from the sudden pain as if the eyelids alone were not enough to protect the orbs within. It’s so painful like being cut by a knife and the pain seemingly didn’t subside that fast. That pain was just the beginning; in a moment of second, his heart rate started to increase in a rocketing speed, pumping the blood way faster than normal.

He took a deep breath only to realize his every breath felt so hard and heavy. He shook his head. He hit his own chest for a couple seconds, hoping he could breath normally, but nothing changed. His vision was now getting blurred from the low oxygen uptake.

“That light—” In the midst of pain, he remembered about the window. He had no idea about what happening to his body was or where the sudden pain coming from was, but using all of his might and instict to survive, Kai dragged his feet down the white bed and struggled to walk toward the window with forearm as an eyeshield.

Kai could feel the pain in his eyes was subsiding after the room was darkened. He abruptly leaned his back againts the wall before flopping down on to the floor. His chest was still heaving up and down from the previous heavy breathing. For a good two minutes, he was sitting down there motionless; one of his hand was still clutching the edge of the curtain. Trembling. He waited until his heart rate slowed down to normal and his lungs worked properly.

He looked around, studying the whole place he was in. And it didn’t take too much time for his thick eyebrows to curl in quizzical manner.

“Where am I? This is not the same place where I slept last night.”

He asked to himself and stood on his feet, crawling back to the bed. The whole room was new to him. He remembered there’s no bedside table before and the wall was painted in ivory instead of white.

He may lost count on how many times he had fallen asleep or how long he had been sleeping, but it’s not the first time for him to wake up in a foreign place and with the same terrible headache. He knew someone did this purposely to him. He noticed that someone moved him to a new room while he was sleeping.

Sleep?

He flinched at his own thought. No. It couldn’t be a usual sleep; he had been drugged. Who? Why? When? How? He couldn’t tell the reason behind it; his mind was as dark as night. Still clueless, but he made a mental note to be careful on everything he ate next time.

Something outside the window drew his attention as to his ears vaguely came a laughter from far away behind the wall, making him curious to check it out. Knowing his eyes had gotten use to the soft light, he mustered up courage to slightly open the curtain.

By the time he peeked out the window, it had been mid-day and he could see the people in blue hospital gown, the same gown he was wearing now, were scattering here and there. They were the patients who had visitors on the hospital courtyard two floors down below, and to watch them just made him felt all alone. He couldn’t deny that his eyes glinted in jealousy. Their faces looked pale and weak, but to his dark eyes only came the sight of happiness. Smiles. Caring.

Freedom.

And Kai felt that he was nothing but a cheerless face behind a thick glass, behind the iron bar.

Their laughter somehow brought him back to the meeting that day, the day when he met Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Kris. His friends or at least they said they’re his friends. It had been a while, yet their images was never left his mind. Kai might lost his memory, but he didn’t miss the awkwardness on their first meeting. They seemed too awkward for people who had known each other for a long time. No smiled offered. Just a bit of fright there between them. Was that how to greet a friend after knowing one of their friends survived from an accident?

Kai looked away from the window, going back to the bed. He couldn’t rely anything on his memory, instinct was all he had right now. He felt there was something strange between the three of them. Half of him really hoped that Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, and Kris truly knew him, truly his friends, but somehow it felt so wrong.

“Patient no.2, it’s time for lunch.”

Kai’s head snapped to the woman voice calling him, startled, not hearing the door opened. There was a nurse coming into the room, bringing a meal cart. Two men in big body were standing by the door, seemingly to guard her.

Kai watched her movement intently. His heavy lidded eyes stared at the meals arranged on the table and several tablets, then to the nurse and those men on the door. Kai quite sure there were still some of men like them outside. Those people in the room silently stole a glance at Kai as well, but no one could read his mind from the expression he was wearing right now.

“You should eat and take the medicine, patient no.2” she continued after placing the meal on his bed.

“Kai”

“Sorry?”

“I have a name.” He gravely said to the nurse, eyes kept staring at her. If only he could say how he hated that name. They called him with a name as if he was not a human in bone and flesh, as if he was just an object. So heartless and cold. Kai gritted his jaws at the thought. “I have a name, then call me with my name.”  

“Oh, I’m sorry, Kai.” She said it in mocking tone. But much to his surprise, the nurse replied him calmly. “Okay, I’ll take my leave. Enjoy your meal.” With that, she left the room and a low click sound was heard after the door closed.

“They locked the room from outside” He thought, slightly regretting he didn’t even try to ask someone outhere for a help.

Help. Kai balled his palms into tight fists. Forget it. There’s no time for sentiment here, he told to himself. No one would come and help him. No body was worth his trust. All he got was himself, his mind kept telling him. And a slight smirk arose from his succulent lips.

If all of his life was a game—

He knew he had no choice but to play it.