New reader!!!! Love the story so far! Update sooon

Update please!! Luv the story!!

Need graphics? If you do then please read the Personal Message on my wall and follow to get graphics!! Gamowo!!!!

KFC. so much onew just hovering around at that. xD

(:
kk, I'll be waiting for the full chapter ^^
I like the picture very much 8D

Dear gods. That's a lot of blood. Quite a twist for the plot, eh? (:

Um...I think that even if the thoughts are in italics, they shouldn't have quotation marks around them (:

Nice chapter! ^^

wow! great job!
lol your character's friend Rose reminds me of myself ^^"
She's actually just like me, it's uncanny ><"
I'm the youngest of my trio of bffs, and they call me the Umma because without me, the other two would have never gotten their homework done LOL
I bet you can guess who they are x3 anythingkpop and Unmei474~ xD
Anyways, this story looks interesting, I can't wait to read more~
<3
OTB Unnie~
*huggles*

also
please ignore any spelling errors i make thank you ^^

Um yeah okay I'm going to continue. Sorry. I should get studying xD
So
actually
to not bother you so much, I'm just going to point out one last thing. When you said "she commented with a slight Korean accent," I immediately thought of an Asian parent with an Asian accent going "WHY YOU NO GET GOOD GRADES."
Aha. That's just me. Um...yeah. I'm so tired and sleep deprived and random. Sorry. OTL
But I feel like there isn't really a specific "Korean accent." Usually it's generalized as an "Asian accent," or just "a slight accent" will do.
Okay. I need to go back to studying. Hope this helps <3

haihai! ^^
Welcome to the world of writing (:
I am here because I need to study for my final (psh, what's studying?), and therefore I am procrastinating and wasting my time and staying up late and all that good stuff :P
So. Um, as I am currently in a stage of depression in which I am spending about two hours a day wailing over the crappiness of my writing, I'm not entirely in the best state to be giving constructive criticism, but I'll see what I can do ^^

First of all, the good stuff.
OHMAIGOSH YOU USE PROPER GRAMMAR THANK YOU I LOVE YOU
It makes me happy to see someone who's first fanfic has proper grammar. It's very heartwarming and all that jazz. Okay. I'm sorry if my comments are random. I'm sleep deprived and I really should be studying ehehehe.

Second of all, personally, I don't really like it when people put "____'s POV" in the story. It kind of breaks up the flow. To me, stories are supposed to be professional-looking tales in which I can read everything without seeing the words "___'s POV" every once in a while. If you change POV, then you should be able to show that through your writing, not "____'s POV." The reason why I'm telling you this is because I believe that your writing is good enough to be capable of revealing switches in POV and stuff without having to resort to "___'s POV"

Okay, so now to the actual story so far.

I like your character's attitude. She's not creepily girly and scary and all that Mary Sue creepiness, so that's good ^^

Normally, when writing out the thoughts of characters, I'd recommend using italics instead of quotes, because it distinguishes thoughts and dialogue from each other, and that makes it easier to understand.

Your character has an attitude. I like that. She's not boring. But I'd prefer if she was a little less...excited in her thoughts. It feels a bit awkward and exaggerated to have her think with exclamation marks so much! of the! time!

I'm running out of character space. Sorry for bothering you ^^