To KFC We Go! Part Two

Twists of Fate

I am sooooooooooooo sorry for not updating! Life is rough, you know? Anyway, I really don't have too much room to complain, I've seen people with worse issues than I do. Anyway, here's the rest of the last chapter! I need some feedback. What do you guys think of  Aeryn's dream? I wanted to reveal that...man...in the story eventually, but I wasn't sure when a good time to do it would be. So I just put it there. Was it too soon for drama? I don't want this to be a super depressing boo-hoo-I-need-to-have-a-bucket-of-ice-cream-next-to-me-everytime-I-read-this sort of story. I want it to be really funny too! I have a bad habit of making serious situations funny too...Like...laughing hysterically while making food for a funeral in the kitchen of the church where the funeral is currently being held. Yeah, I haven't worked very many funerals since then...Enjoy this next chapter! XD

 

By the way, if Rose and Ayame sound super pretty to you, it would be because they are, in real life, VERY pretty. Darn girls really don't help my self esteem when we're out in public together.

One more thing, the picture at the top is dedicated to my amazing OTB-Unnie! Saranghae, Unnie! I MISS CHU~!

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"Ro-ose." I whined, putting on my best aegyo face. "I can't fiiiind it." Rose immediately twirled around and glared at me, her long-lashed eyes easily conveying her message. "Shut your mouth and let me be." Was the basic idea. Although, I could be wrong, I couldn't really see much past the lazers currently trying to send me to home early.

It didn't really help much when, just a few seconds later, Ayame whined the same thing.

"Can't you two take care of yourselves?" Rose cried, I just looked at Ayame who happened to also be looking at me. Rose shook her head and glanced between us. "Aish, I don't know why I stay friends with you two." Me and Ayame grinned at her statement.

"Because you love us!" I proudly replied, she couldn't deny that. Ever since we were kids, me and Rose had been close companions. And when Ayame, then known by her real name, Krysia(pronounced Krisha), came along, we all instantly became inseperable. That, and Ayame and I "can't seem to keep each other out of trouble no matter how hard ANYONE tries!" As Rose puts it. She can be a real mom sometimes. You know what I mean?

Anyway, after eventually finding our luggage we began to exit the terminal when we heard someone shouting. We turned around and I'm pretty sure my already too big eyes became the size of saucers. Miss Barbie was running towards us as a man behind her, who looked to be in his late thirties, struggled  to keep up with her while pushing a large trolly stacked high with, wait for it, PINK luggage. That's a lot of pink. I mentally stated. Also, I like to point out another thing, this woman was running, I mean, she was really motoring. If I hadn't been so surprised, I would have been rolling on the floor laughing at how ridiculous she looked runnign in those heels.

"Wait!" She called, "I need to talk to you!" I pointed to myself at this statement and plastered what I hoped was a puzzled expression on my face. It probably looked a little strained, seeing as how I had gotten over my shock and was trying not to burst  into hysterics. She stopped in front of me and bent over with her hands on her knees, panting like she'd just run a marathon. Then again, with those shoes...

"Can I help you?" I asked slowly. This women couldn't have been serious about the singing thing, could she? I thought as I handed Miss Barbie a bottle of water I had bought on our way out of the luggage area.

She nodded her head, took a long drink of water and replied breathlessly, "Yes, I wanted to know if you had thought about my offer yet?" She stated this as a question, obviously wanting know if I would agree. It's now or never Aeryn.

"I thought it over," I said slowly, noticing out of the corner of my eye that Rose was silently screaming at me to tell her what was going on and Ayame looked like she was going to throw up from the sheer amount of pink in front of her. "and I have a couple questions I want answered before I say yes."

Mrs. Barbie nodded and replied with a smile, "Certainly, we can talk about it over lunch if you want. I'll pay."

My eyebrows shot up and I saw that Rose's had too, Ayame had certainly perked up at the mention of lunch. We hadn't eaten since three that morning, not like we had any extra won on us either. Just enough to get us to our new apartment. "That sounds really nice, " I said politely, "thank you!" I gave her one of my signature grins and the women gave me one of her own, nearly blinding me with two rows of perfectly aligned and sparkling white teeth. Does this woman have any flaws? I thought incredulously, than I looked ruefully at her luggage and the huffing man behind it. Except for the pink obsession?

"It's no problem." She replied with her soft Asian accent, "By the way, my name is Kwon Min Jae, but I don't know your name yet.  And how old are you?"

"My name is Aeryn Housten and I am ninteen years old." I turned, pointed at each of my friends in turn and said, "This is Adaire Jameson, we call her Rose, she's eighteen. And this one here," I pointed at Ayame who had apparently not forgotten about the mention of lunch and was practically drooling at a nearby ad for kimbap."is called Ayame, but her real name is Krysia Englot. She's just a few months younger than Rose."

The woman nodded once and said, "It's wonderful to meet you all! If you want to follow me I know of an Western-Style resturant near here. I hear it has a bit of a "Southern" taste to it, at least, I think that's the term they used in America." The woman smiled sheepishly as she put on hand behind her head and used the other to play with the hem of her shirt. Wow, she's so...cute. How much girlier can she get? I thought, mostly in awe. What? Do you think I have something against cute, girly people? Not at all, I'm just not one of them...Most of the time...What? I have my moments! Anyway, moving on...

"Well, thank you again!" I said happily, lunch was sounding better by the moment. "What's the resturant called?"

Miss Barb-I mean, Min Jae, said, "I believe it is called," She paused and tilted her head upward, looking at the ceiling before directing her gaze and me and replying, "KFC?"

OH. YES! I'm beginning to really like Miss Barbie.

 

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*hides behind wall of awesomness* I'M SORRY!!! I didn't mean to wait so long to update! Mihane~! I promise, I'll try REALLY, REALLY hard to update more! That is, if you guys are still reading it. Let me know! And all you silent readers, yeah, I see you. I don't appreciate your silent-ness. So comment! Okay, that's pretty much it. Bye~! :D

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ScarletWounds
Yeah, I just figured out what this "Story Feed" thing is for. Cheers for my epic fail! -.-

Comments

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dancesingkpop
#1
New reader!!!! Love the story so far! Update sooon
BR2019 #2
Update please!! Luv the story!!
------Angel
#3
Need graphics? If you do then please read the Personal Message on my wall and follow to get graphics!! Gamowo!!!!
swabluu
#4
KFC. so much onew just hovering around at that. xD
swabluu
#5
(:
kk, I'll be waiting for the full chapter ^^
I like the picture very much 8D
swabluu
#6
Dear gods. That's a lot of blood. Quite a twist for the plot, eh? (:

Um...I think that even if the thoughts are in italics, they shouldn't have quotation marks around them (:

Nice chapter! ^^
onlythebest24
#7
wow! great job!
lol your character's friend Rose reminds me of myself ^^"
She's actually just like me, it's uncanny ><"
I'm the youngest of my trio of bffs, and they call me the Umma because without me, the other two would have never gotten their homework done LOL
I bet you can guess who they are x3 anythingkpop and Unmei474~ xD
Anyways, this story looks interesting, I can't wait to read more~
<3
OTB Unnie~
*huggles*
swabluu
#8
also
please ignore any spelling errors i make thank you ^^
swabluu
#9
Um yeah okay I'm going to continue. Sorry. I should get studying xD
So
actually
to not bother you so much, I'm just going to point out one last thing. When you said "she commented with a slight Korean accent," I immediately thought of an Asian parent with an Asian accent going "WHY YOU NO GET GOOD GRADES."
Aha. That's just me. Um...yeah. I'm so tired and sleep deprived and random. Sorry. OTL
But I feel like there isn't really a specific "Korean accent." Usually it's generalized as an "Asian accent," or just "a slight accent" will do.
Okay. I need to go back to studying. Hope this helps <3
swabluu
#10
haihai! ^^
Welcome to the world of writing (:
I am here because I need to study for my final (psh, what's studying?), and therefore I am procrastinating and wasting my time and staying up late and all that good stuff :P
So. Um, as I am currently in a stage of depression in which I am spending about two hours a day wailing over the crappiness of my writing, I'm not entirely in the best state to be giving constructive criticism, but I'll see what I can do ^^

First of all, the good stuff.
OHMAIGOSH YOU USE PROPER GRAMMAR THANK YOU I LOVE YOU
It makes me happy to see someone who's first fanfic has proper grammar. It's very heartwarming and all that jazz. Okay. I'm sorry if my comments are random. I'm sleep deprived and I really should be studying ehehehe.

Second of all, personally, I don't really like it when people put "____'s POV" in the story. It kind of breaks up the flow. To me, stories are supposed to be professional-looking tales in which I can read everything without seeing the words "___'s POV" every once in a while. If you change POV, then you should be able to show that through your writing, not "____'s POV." The reason why I'm telling you this is because I believe that your writing is good enough to be capable of revealing switches in POV and stuff without having to resort to "___'s POV"

Okay, so now to the actual story so far.

I like your character's attitude. She's not creepily girly and scary and all that Mary Sue creepiness, so that's good ^^

Normally, when writing out the thoughts of characters, I'd recommend using italics instead of quotes, because it distinguishes thoughts and dialogue from each other, and that makes it easier to understand.

Your character has an attitude. I like that. She's not boring. But I'd prefer if she was a little less...excited in her thoughts. It feels a bit awkward and exaggerated to have her think with exclamation marks so much! of the! time!

I'm running out of character space. Sorry for bothering you ^^