To KFC We Go! Part One.

Twists of Fate

Okay, this is NOT the full chapter! This is just part of it! The KFC part will come in later. I want to implement some humor, but I'm not in a humor mood right now. So I'll do that later. This is pretty much just a filler to let you guys know that I haven't just dropped this story. I hate it when people do that, I won't do it myself! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!

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I swallowed the lump in my throat as I walked off the plane, my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my body. Again...If only death wasn't so permanent. I thought wishfully.

"Aeryn!" A voice called, I looked over my shoulder and exhaled a breath I didn't even know I had been holding.

"I'm over here!" I replied loudly as I waved my arms, frantically trying to get the attention of my friends.

"There you are." Rose said shortly, her breath coming in short gasps as she ran to me while dragging Ayame across the terminal. "Where have you been?" She demanded as soon as she reached me. "I thought we agreed to meet up at the gate!" She threw her arm in the direction of the gate for emphasis and I lifted my head to look around.

Wow...I didn't even notice that I was going anywhere. I was startled out of my thoughts with Rose's sharp,

"Well?!" I grinned sheepishly at her and shrugged my shoulders. From behind Rose I could see Ayame attempting to pull away from the youngers tight grip, but to no avail. I chuckled quietly at her escape attempts, which caused Rose to whirl around and glare at the older, albeit less mature, girl.

Ayame also offered her a sheepish grin, with just a hint of mischief in her dark-blue eyes. Rose shook her head and finally let go of the other girl, her own blue-grey eyes sparkled as she smiled at us, "People are going to think I'M the oldest if you two keep this up." Well, you may actually be the oldest and we just don't know it...

 I laughed and replied, "We'll just tell them we're triplets or something." Rose and Ayame looked at me like I was crazy, well, crazier than I already was.

"How is telling them we're triplets going to help anything?" Rose inquired with a more than a hint of amusement in her voice. Oh, that's a good point. That actually sounded a lot better in my head.

I stared at them blankly and replied slowly," I don't actually know..." Silence insued.

"You're a weird girl, Aeryn. You know that?" Rose said as she grabbed me and Ayame's arms and dragged us to the luggage claim.

I grinned at her, "Of course I know that!" Then I lowered my head and muttered, "Not that you're any better." Rose whipped her head around, her long, chocolate brown hair flying everywhere.

"What did you say?" Her sharp eyes peirced mine and I began to regret mentioning her own odd-ness.

"Nothing!" I said quickly, probably a little too quickly, but she turned around anyway and continued to pull us to our luggage.

I let out a breath and glanced around, I hope we get out of here soon. I'm hungry. My stomach grumbled at this thought and I tried to turn my attention back to the matter at hand. Namely, trying to find our luggage. I looked at the endless line of suitcases and thought, This may take awhile...

 

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I apologize. I really should be working harder on this story, but I can't seem to find ANY inspiration! I've also decided that I'm not writing this for anyone but me and my three friends. Not to sound mean. but it's about us and we're the ones writing it. So I still want you guys to enjoy it! I just anted to put it out there that this story is special to me because I'm writing it with my two best friends and there's no other reason for me to continue it. Thanks for the support you guys have already given me! You guys are the best! I'd blast you with GIF's, but I've yet to figure out how to do that...I'll figure it out, BYE!

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ScarletWounds
Yeah, I just figured out what this "Story Feed" thing is for. Cheers for my epic fail! -.-

Comments

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dancesingkpop
#1
New reader!!!! Love the story so far! Update sooon
BR2019 #2
Update please!! Luv the story!!
------Angel
#3
Need graphics? If you do then please read the Personal Message on my wall and follow to get graphics!! Gamowo!!!!
swabluu
#4
KFC. so much onew just hovering around at that. xD
swabluu
#5
(:
kk, I'll be waiting for the full chapter ^^
I like the picture very much 8D
swabluu
#6
Dear gods. That's a lot of blood. Quite a twist for the plot, eh? (:

Um...I think that even if the thoughts are in italics, they shouldn't have quotation marks around them (:

Nice chapter! ^^
onlythebest24
#7
wow! great job!
lol your character's friend Rose reminds me of myself ^^"
She's actually just like me, it's uncanny ><"
I'm the youngest of my trio of bffs, and they call me the Umma because without me, the other two would have never gotten their homework done LOL
I bet you can guess who they are x3 anythingkpop and Unmei474~ xD
Anyways, this story looks interesting, I can't wait to read more~
<3
OTB Unnie~
*huggles*
swabluu
#8
also
please ignore any spelling errors i make thank you ^^
swabluu
#9
Um yeah okay I'm going to continue. Sorry. I should get studying xD
So
actually
to not bother you so much, I'm just going to point out one last thing. When you said "she commented with a slight Korean accent," I immediately thought of an Asian parent with an Asian accent going "WHY YOU NO GET GOOD GRADES."
Aha. That's just me. Um...yeah. I'm so tired and sleep deprived and random. Sorry. OTL
But I feel like there isn't really a specific "Korean accent." Usually it's generalized as an "Asian accent," or just "a slight accent" will do.
Okay. I need to go back to studying. Hope this helps <3
swabluu
#10
haihai! ^^
Welcome to the world of writing (:
I am here because I need to study for my final (psh, what's studying?), and therefore I am procrastinating and wasting my time and staying up late and all that good stuff :P
So. Um, as I am currently in a stage of depression in which I am spending about two hours a day wailing over the crappiness of my writing, I'm not entirely in the best state to be giving constructive criticism, but I'll see what I can do ^^

First of all, the good stuff.
OHMAIGOSH YOU USE PROPER GRAMMAR THANK YOU I LOVE YOU
It makes me happy to see someone who's first fanfic has proper grammar. It's very heartwarming and all that jazz. Okay. I'm sorry if my comments are random. I'm sleep deprived and I really should be studying ehehehe.

Second of all, personally, I don't really like it when people put "____'s POV" in the story. It kind of breaks up the flow. To me, stories are supposed to be professional-looking tales in which I can read everything without seeing the words "___'s POV" every once in a while. If you change POV, then you should be able to show that through your writing, not "____'s POV." The reason why I'm telling you this is because I believe that your writing is good enough to be capable of revealing switches in POV and stuff without having to resort to "___'s POV"

Okay, so now to the actual story so far.

I like your character's attitude. She's not creepily girly and scary and all that Mary Sue creepiness, so that's good ^^

Normally, when writing out the thoughts of characters, I'd recommend using italics instead of quotes, because it distinguishes thoughts and dialogue from each other, and that makes it easier to understand.

Your character has an attitude. I like that. She's not boring. But I'd prefer if she was a little less...excited in her thoughts. It feels a bit awkward and exaggerated to have her think with exclamation marks so much! of the! time!

I'm running out of character space. Sorry for bothering you ^^