❥  ❥  ❥

 

She woke up; clueless of the place she landed. As far as she could remember, she was before at the Gate of Heaven and then made a deal with the Gatekeeper, and then she walked and walked, looking for an exit. But after that, everything became blank. She doesn’t know what happened next.

But she found herself, lying on a mattress, on an abandoned-like apartment room. A room which looked like for a single person. A female. And it was familiar to her. Very familiar.

 

For it was her room.

 

She was shocked of what she found. And at the moment, she felt that she missed the place; she caressed the softness of the mattress to make her feel how conented she was here. Though it was a brief time, she longed the comfort it brought her. She felt tad homesick, though basically she wasn’t able to sleep on it quite frequently.

She looked around the room. The small dining table, the small stove and ref, a broken television, an old radio and a closet full of clothes. Everything reminded her of the life she could have improved.

 

If it wasn’t for Chan Yeol.

His name circled her mind again. Tension rised in her. That guy. I must find him.

She then stood up, walking towards the door fast. But before reaching the door, an object caught her eye. The calendar hanging on the wall, on a hook.

 19. It displayed there in big, bold and red in color. Above it, was the word “Today”. With this, she couldn’t help but to think. She felt something was wrong. When was the exact date she died? She looked for an answer in her mind. It took her quite awhile to remember.

 12, she whispered to herself, and took another glance at the calendar. A week had passed. The world went through a week without her.

And seeing this, she was even more curious. Curious about him. Has his life improved without her? She decided to find out more, and to act quickly for her time is running. She continued walking to the door. But as she reached at the doorknob, her hands went through it. She couldn’t touch the doorknob, and it startled her.

“But remember, you will come back to Earth as a soul.”The old man’s voice echoed in her mind, like he was beside her, telling her the same sentence she remembered before she left.

Remembering that, she decided to pass through the door, and it worked. She got outside without using the door.

 

I have to live my life as a soul now. A lonely soul with no direction.

 

 

❥  ❥  ❥

 

She found herself standing before the riverbank of Han River, below the skyway built over it. Green meadow carpeted both sides of the river, untrimmed yet they were small of height. Busy roads were seen, but Soo Min reminded herself of something. No one else could see her. She's already a soul. A lost soul, looking for revenge. With those statements, she sighed as she sat down tall, staring at the current of the water flowing down. She decided to stop by until she could remember things clearly --- to reminisce--- aside from the memories left in her mind. And as she did, her memories came flowing down like a movie.

 

***

 

Who is Chan Yeol in her life? Her mind seemed to have responded with a lot of reasons hidden.

 

 He was someone she loved more than herself, more than the world. He was the perfect man; a caring, handsome and sweet. He was the heir of his family’s PARK Corporation. But she was an orphan, who was raised by a mean step mother and ran away in High School to look for a job to support her studies. That’s the reason she came to Seoul. Since then, she had the dream of graduating and living a luxurious life. She told herself not to fall in love for it was a distraction. But feelings, they are unavoidable, aren’t they?

 

Soo Min and Chan Yeol were in college when they met. Unexpectedly, she lost the sole of her shoe and limped all the way through the front gate on the first day. He happened to had found her, and offered to give her another  pair of shoes. That’s how everything started. As time passed, they became best of friends. She was happy with him, because they never let each other down. Though he is rich, he didn’t mind having a poor best friend like her.

But life wasn't easy for them.

He became popular in school for his good looks. And because of this, girls envied Soo Min. Everyday, she received hate letters on her locker. She was mistreated by most of the school's girl population. She was the topic of rumors everyday. They endlessly blabbered and ripped her personality at the eyes of others with false gossips. They tried to break them apart, yet he still protected her. He didn’t let anything happen to Soo Min. He told her to ignore everything, for what really matters was the two of them are still together, true to each other. So their relationship even got stronger; became more than best friends.She soon realized she had fallen in love with him.

 

Little did she know he was in love with her too, until he confessed. Under the tree of the school, on a Valentine’s Day, he proposed. Unexpected yet Soo Min was happy. She felt those unbelievable things she had read among romance books; harps playing in the background, butterflies in the stomach, and sparks flying around like fireworks. It was the happiest moment of her life; the moment she wasn’t expecting to come. Much to happiness, she accepted to be his girlfriend without thinking about any of its consequences. She became too blinded by love that she only cared about the happiness at the moment.

 

This led her to failing of grades. She wasn’t able to study well; her focus lost. But she didn’t tell that to Chan Yeol, afraid that it might end them being split up. She tried to regain her focus, but her mind and world revolved around him. She yearned for his presence, for their dates, for hiscalls and everything. It felt like she’d die if every second of time, he wasn’t beside her.

 

She chose him instead of studies without knowing. Her dream of living a luxurious life after she had graduated was slowly erased, and replaced by the future plans she’ll live with Chan Yeol. She forgot her dreams; he brought her happiness that she thought was the one she’s waiting for. She decided to pick the happiness she felt with him.

 

Months passed. Soo Min and Chan Yeol’s relationship deepened each day. But it was kept a secret from his parents because he wasn’t allowed to have a lover, and Soo Min was known to them as his only best friend. She slowly realized she’s loving him more than what world means to her. He admittedly confessed that he couldn’t live a life without her. And this led to him asking her if they could live under one roof, and drop out of college. He got condo unit and offered her if they could live together, and he will run away from home just to live with her. Hearing that, it made her happy. He’s willing to go through anything just to be with her.

 

Ofcourse, she agreed. They dropped out of college. He ran away from home, even if his parents opposed. He was told by them that they would no longer support him, so he has to work for his living.

He accepted the consequences. He's willing to go anything just to be with her forever.

She left her apartment, but only brought few things to avoid suspicion of Chan Yeol’s parents. Sometimes, she would sleep in her apartment when Chan Yeol is on his night shift on the work he found to support both of them.

 

She had this mentality: Why do I need to graduate to be happy when I am already happy in Chan Yeol’s presence?

 

 

But that happiness faded away. After some weeks, Chan Yeol began coming home later than usual. Sometimes, drunk. Sometimes, angry. Soo Min tried to understand him, and the pressure that surrounds them in this situation. They both knew it wasn’t the right time for them to live under one roof, yet they followed their hearts and did it so. They did it without any further thoughts --- out of love.

 

One night, when he came home, she headed out from the kitchen to welcome him. But she noticed something.  He smelled like a perfume of a woman. When she came closer to give him a peck on a cheek, she noticed a lipstick stain on his white collar.

 

But out of love, she decided to ignore. She understood he was too tired to undergo her interrogations. He went to their bed to sleep, as she went back to the kitchen to cook.

 

But curiosity never failed to veil Soo Min. Why is he coming home late without explanations? Doubts filled her mind. She began suspecting him for another reason.

 

Is he cheating on me?

 

The question made her heart ache, yet she seemed to be ignoring it, trying to think positive. She was avoiding to hurt herself, even though that has a huge percent of being considered a truth.

But what’s the point of thinking optimistic thoughts? Evidences are already there. There is no escape now.

With this, she decided to push through an investigation. The next night, she headed to the Supermarket where he works.

“Where’s Chan Yeol?” She asked as she approached the manager on the information booth. He seemed to be kind enough to smile, amid the tiring day he seemed to have.

“He left a little bit earlier. I think he mentioned he was going to a place called Night Shift bar.” He replied. As soon as she received the answer, she nodded without wasting any time and walked away, determined to find where he was.

A bar? What is he doing there? Isn’t he supposed to be working at this hour?

The level of dubiety she felt was rising. She felt he was really cheating on her, though she didn’t want to believe.

But why would he? He loves me. We had so much memories and so much time shared… why would he cheat on me?

 

And as she looked for that place, thoughts debated in her mind.

 

It was almost 9 when she found where the bar is located. She wasted no time in getting in. He wasn’t too hard for her to find out where he was. AT the VIP section. And finding him there, she couldn’t believe her eyes.

 

Girls flocked around him, flirting and whispering and giggling. And the worse, he was even making out with one of them. Her eyes dimmed in anger. She wanted to not believe what she had seen, that her eyes might be playing a trick on her.

 

But it was the truth. There's no reason left to convince herself for something else. When he noticed her, he stood up, with a smirk displayed on his lips.

 

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at home, cooking?” He asked.

“I must ask that question to you. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at the Supermarket, working?” She asked him back, her eyes determined to get some explanation. But he rolled his eyes; an annoying smile replaced the smirk.

“Aren’t I supposed to have my own fun too?” He asked, which seemed to be an insult to her. With this, she couldn’t hide the anger. She snapped out from convincing herself that everything was fake, and slapped him hard on the face, holding the tears that might show her weakness.

“Why are you doing this? We love each other! You’re the man who made me feel what being happy is meant to feel! Why are you doing this? Why are you hurting me?!” She yelled, but her voice drowned on the club music playing on the background. He seemed to be surprised, so he pulled her to the corner of the room to avoid any attraction of attention.

 

“Listen," She didn't like how his voice sounded. "You don’t know the real me. Truth is, I already have a fiancée. I played on you. I play with other girls for fun. Staying with you is something unimportant for me. Just for fun, that's all.You’re nothing to me.” He told her frankly, without even caring how he sounded or if he would hurt her with his words.. Her eyes glinted with the forming tears.

“I don’t believe you, Chan Yeol. You’re the man I loved!” She firmly told him. She kept on holding on the the Chan Yeol she had been with through those happy times. But he just smirked again.

“You don’t believe me? Fine. Then I won’t see you ever again. Let’s see if you can hold on to me much longer.” He challenged fearlessly. Soo Min knew she couldn’t take it much longer so she decided to back out, to run far away to think. She walked away, but after few steps, he called her.

“Soo Min.” He called her name, which she found sweet in the past. But now it angers her.

“I call it quits between us.” He yelled before going back to the presence of the girls whom he flirted with. And hearing that, she dashed out of the club.

 

I gave up my whole life for him. I gave up everything for him. Why did we turn out this way? Have I done something wrong?

 

These thoughts bothered her. She wasn’t solely focused on where she will go, because she was too confused to think. She was too hurt to think. She was too lonely to think.

 

I gave up my dreams just to be with him. But he turned into a monster. A merciless monster that I never thought would come.

 

Anger began building up in her, blinding her. He destroyed my life. Revenge he shall get.

 

And she didn’t notice, as she was crossing on a busy road, a speeding truck was coming. She heard honks of the horn before she stopped in the middle, aghast. The head lights blurred her sight and everything went blank in an instant.

 

That was the night she died. The end of the memories she could remember.

 

 

She stood up, with tears streaming down her cheeks. They brought back the infuriating feelings that had built in her. She had remembered everything clearly. And with those memories, revenge shall be given birth. It shall be served.

 

I will ruin his life. I will ruin everything he has. In that way I could only forgive him.

 

 

It took her a long time before reaching to where the building of his family’s corporation is located. Her memory to where it is exactly was still somewhat unsure, but due to her intuition, she reached the place. The familiar building, where he used to take her after school to hang out. She was infront of it again. It brought her the same old happy memories, yet this time it gave her the feeling of anger; that spiteful feeling that she felt towards him.

 

She got in, and from the directory, she had found out that he became the acting Vice President of the company. She got somewhat discouraged. Based on this, his life is already better without me. What more? But because she's determined, she decided to go up there, to where floor his office is, using the elevator. I’m going to see him for revenge, she reminded herself. And when she arrived, she went through the door, finding a man in a suit, talking to someone on phone, sitting on his office chair.

 

She couldn’t move upon seeing him. It made her reminisce all the good and bad things they shared; how he became a part of her life and how he managed to destroy it in an instant. Few moments later, he hung up and rested his arms on the desk. He seemed to be looking at her, yet he couldn’t see her. In his perspective, he was looking straight forward in a blank space, seemingly lost in thoughts.

 

“I’m such a coward.” He whispered to himself, audile enough for her to hear. Those words explained a lot to her, but she couldn’t think of what he really meant with it. She walked until she reached the side of the desk, and stared right at him.

 

“You destroyed my life, you bastard!” She yelled, though she knew he couldn’t hear her voice. It was useless, yet it made her feel tad better.

 

The silence that seemed to be forever was interrupted with knocks on the door. Chan Yeol yelled to come in whoever that was, and a female voice was heard.

 

“Honey, I’m here.” She greeted as she emerged from the door. Tall, beautiful and intelligent-looking. Much better than me, she thought. She was wearing a skirt, sleeveless shirt, shoulder bag and heels that made her legs look longer.

 

His fiancée, Soo Min thought. The girl he told her about during their break-up.

 

Though Soo Min felt tad better, seeing his fiancee helped her on nothing. Her feelings of anger came back. She almost wanted to throw a tantrum, if only she could hold things.

 

He stood up as she waited on the door. And accidentally, he passed through Soo Min. She felt sparks. Chan Yeol stopped for a moment and turned around. He felt her presence, but he was unable to explain what it was. It gave him that weird feeling, but he chose to ignore it and continue walking. This even hurt her. She slowly turned around to them, her eyes following Chan Yeol.

 

“Kyung Soon.” He greeted his fiancee as he expanded his arms for a hug, and gave her a light peck on the cheek. Soo Min frowned. Seeing them, she wished she hasn’t died. She wished she was still human. She wished she’d hear out more from him, that he hasn’t cheated on her and she would be doing that to him.

 

But right now, he seemed to be living in a good life without her.

 

She’s here to destroy it.

 

It ignited her will to make him miserable.

 

“I miss you, honey. How’s work?” She asked. He shrugged his shoulders, which brought them giggles. Which seemed to be that there is some kind of private joke going on between them. But before they could even continue their conversation, someone knocked on the door and entered, like he was in hurry. He was a man in suit, holding a clipboard and wearing glasses.

 

“Sir, Mr. Park wants to see you for a moment.” Judging by the looks and his words, he was no other than the secretary. Kyung Soon nodded at Chan Yeol in agreement and then he went out, following his secretary.

 

Based on their actions, Soo Min could tell that Kyung Soon and Chan Yeol had known each other more than she and Chan Yeol. This sparked up some jealousy in her, but she disregarded it, trying to focus on her mission. He distracted me once. No second chances.

 

She and Kyung Soon was left in the room. In Kyung Soon’s perspective, she was alone. But she wasn’t aware of the soul that is with her. Kyung Soon roamed around, like she was memorizing every part of the room. And as Soo Min was watching her, anger and jealousy washed over her. She was jealous of how she could express her love at Chan Yeol, and how it seems like Chan Yeol loves her back.

 

And how about herself? Chan  Yeol was faking it.

 

It hurts her more than anything.

 

And it led her to wishing that she would be Kyung Soon instead. She doesn’t want to be herself, the ordinary Soo Min that Chan Yeol cheated on. She wanted to be Kyung Soon, the perfect fiancée Chan Yeol is currently loving.

 

And while replaying that wish on her mind, Soo Min began approaching Kyung Soon, hoping that the perfect fiancée is just an illusion; a trick her eyes are showing. But she knew it wasn’t. And out of curiosity, Soo Min touched her. Mixed feelings engulfed her, and suddenly, everything became blank.