PROLOGUE

I got up the attic and found an antique chest covered in dust.

On the first place, I wasn’t really planning to go up into that dusty, old and creepy attic above the house, but since I was doing a general cleaning, I decided it would be the best time for me to gather courage and make the attic clatter-free.

And so I did. But I found this chest. The old, antique chest sitting on the floor.

I really didn’t think it would be up here. I thought it had vanished few years ago, or it got misplaced when we moved to another house. But seeing it here, I didn’t know what to feel. Whether I should jump up in down in happiness for locating the lost chest, or feel crept out from what it holds within.

What does it contain? I shivered as I interrogated my own self. That’s right. It contains memories. Memories which I could not remember. Memories that could be good or bad, because I can’t remember what I put in there.

I stared at it. And different thoughts bombarded my mind. At the same time, it felt like voices were whispering through my ears that said “Open the chest; you will be happy! Come on, nothing will go wrong. Just open the chest and you will feel eternal happiness.”

I ceased myself to listen to them and decided to look for the light switch, since the dim attic has only light coming from the small, circular window on the topmost of the right wall. When I found it, I turned it on. And I saw many things before me. They were all clattered around the floor, making this place look like an abandoned aspect of the house. There were unused chairs and tables that turned around, broken chairs, skeletons of umbrellas, piles of papers, boxes and piles of albums and old things that we do not need anymore, but have a sentimental value.

I veered my attention back to the chest. Curiosity filled me. I wonder what this chest hold? I wonder if it would be something that would make me realize everything now. I wonder if it would make me cry, or laugh, or feel like my life is still worth living for.

Without knowing, I slowly gave in. I began to walk towards the chest and kneeled infront of it. I blew the dust off the chest and coughed, inhaling the particles. Afterwards, I opened the chest carefully. My heart skipped beats of anxiety. Maybe it contains some lost memories that you shouldn’t reminisce, my mind seemed to have a voice of its own and gave me a last minute warning. But I ignored it. When it was fully opened, I peeked inside. I found mixed things: pictures, papers, childhood toys, and stuff toys. Atop all of these was a blue notebook designed with drawings of butterflies and a beach with a sunset. And with the cover, I immediately remembered what it was. I smiled. I felt excitement as I held it and opened to its first page. The front cover has something scribbled down below the page.

SUMMER. 2012.

The smile I had hasn’t faded yet. I know that for everyone, this was just like the past summers --- a period of having fun, resting and most of all, relaxing. But how about me? What was so good for me last Summer 2012, that I had written everything down on this notebook?  Well, this is definitely the one I had been patiently waiting for almost 5 years. The time in which I’d like to come back again.

I flipped it again to the next page and then memories came flooding in.

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I got out from the house, tugging along my luggage to the black Porche car. The morning sun shone brightly, and the birds sang their own tunes. The neighborhood was always the same --- same neighbors, routines and schedules--- yet I won’t be able to see it within a short period of time.

 As soon as our driver saw me coming towards the vehicle, he immediately got out of the driver’s seat to help me put it inside the car’s compartment behind.

And while helping him, the giddy feeling evoked some peculiar thoughts.

Am I ready to see him again? The question echoed my mind as if it were haunting me. Anxiety had filled my heart, and made it beat faster than normal.

Am I really ready to go forth and see him? What if he doesn’t remember me anymore… What if he has changed already… What if… he had forgotten about me?

I shook my head and closed my eyes, determined to wash away these negative thoughts. Come one, I should be happy I’m coming back.

Our driver had seemed to notice me and after he closed the compartment, he looked at me.

“Something wrong?” He asked, sounding worried. I smiled.

“No, don’t worry. It’s just…--”

“Ae Rim ah!”

 I trailed off when I heard my mom calling for me. I veered my eyes to where her voice was coming and I saw her coming out from the front door, running towards me with a red paper bag on her hand.

“You forgot this.” She uttered upon reaching me. I accepted it, not having any clues about what it was. I looked at her with an innocent expression, and I guess she got my message.

“Ah, it’s for him. Give this as a gift, okay? Tell him I miss him so much, and if it wasn’t for work I could have gone along with you.” My mother said. I nodded my head and gave her one last hug.

“Thanks for making effort, mom. See you after two weeks.” I whispered to her.

“Alright, see you. Take care of yourself, okay? Call me immediately when you encounter a problem.” She replied. She pulled away from me and took a step backwards.

“You might be late. Your grandparents are waiting for you. You know how your grandma wants to see you already.” Mom managed to laugh after. But I could see through her eyes that she was just acting so I’d think she wont be lonely when I’m gone. But mom’s wrong. I knew she’s going to miss me.

I laughed too, and glanced at the driver.

“Alright. I guess I’ll be going now.”

“Take care.” She repeated. The driver nodded at me and then I got inside the back passenger seat of the car, while the diver got back on the driver’s seat. I opened the car window on my side. The car engine started.

“Bye mom!”I bid my mom good bye as the car started to speed off. I waved my hands at her and soon, the car had gone off. I watched my mom from the side mirror of the car, patiently looking at us. And when she disappeared from the sight, my thoughts eventually came back to me.

Will he be there for me? After those long, 5 years of no contact?

Will you be standing there, waiting for me… Lee DongHae?