Donghae stared silently ahead as he waited in his seat. The restaurant he had chosen was almost always filled to the brim every hour, but he was lucky enough to know the owner to get a table without reservation. Jessica had been away for business the past couple of weeks so when she had arrived back into the city, it didn’t take much asking for them to arrange a little lunch date at their favorite restaurant.

He had missed her, goodness knows, just as much as she said she missed him. Having been lost to one another for a decade didn’t lessen the love they felt for one another and so a couple of days absence for work didn’t even make a blip in the grand scheme of things. He loved her, missed her… but admittedly, not so much as he would have cared for in the past couple of days.

Or really, to be specific, he hadn’t missed much (or at all) the night before.

Donghae let out a sigh that was long and wary, unsure of the deep, unsettling feeling gathering in the pit of his stomach. He glanced at his phone for a moment, momentarily cringing at a message notification from Jessica before pressing the little mail icon. The message was short but sweet in the way he knew Jessica could privately be known for: [Stuck in traffic. Who knew Seoul could rival New York streets on a bright and sunshine-y day? Be there in a few, love.] The wave of love and affection wasn’t new but the apprehension was. And it was exactly why he felt this that was causing him trouble sleeping at night.

He shut the screen off without replying and placed the phone on the table.

… only to pick it up again a minute later, scrolling past apps to choose the Photo Gallery and peruse the images he’d taken from the night before.

They weren’t much. Using a phone’s camera at night never made anyone look good but if by some miracle it did, then it certainly captured Yoona’s beauty last night. Donghae had never doubted how attracted he was to Yoona’s physicality; it was, after all, what had drawn him to her in the first place. It was how strongly he is still attracted (and fond of) to her that was the problem. Especially since he had chosen to break it off with her some months ago because he thought it was just that.

And yet, here I am, thinking about my ex when I’d left her to be with my other ex. Donghae scolded himself; correcting his thoughts at the last minute once the words truly sunk in, Current girlfriend. Sooyeon isn’t the ex anymore. Yoona is.

It seemed like he would have to start reminding himself of that fact. Because if the last night was any indication of how incredibly stupid he could be to forget how he’d broken Im Yoona’s heart just half a year ago, then it should be plastered all over the city that Lee Donghae is without a doubt the biggest idiot-slash-loser South Korea could ever have gave birth to.

Because an educated man do not go to clubs and party until dawn when he has a beautiful woman waiting for him back home. He doesn’t go alone to a party for his ex-girlfriend and then keeps watch of said ex while she takes one shot after another. A smart man doesn’t get close—too close—to his ex when she throws him a certain smile.

Especially when it’s a smile that isn’t meant for him. At least, not anymore…

Donghae clinked glasses with her, throwing an arm around her shoulder. The music playing so loud and pounding around them that he has to yell. “Happy Birthday, Yoona!”

“Thanks!” Yoona grinned, blinking at her ex. She looked around them, crinkling her brow when she doesn’t find Jessica, or anyone she knows for that matter—not Hyoyeon nor Eunhyuk—close by. “Where’s your girlfriend?”

He shrugged, his eyes dimming slightly. Donghae finished his drink in two large gulps before answering her question. “Uh, she had to take care of some things. But she has a present for you. I left it with Hyoyeon.”

“Oh! She’s so nice! She’s really nice. I’m glad you chose someone nice after me.” Yoona smiled even wider, tapping his nose with her index finger. She tilted her head slightly to the side, leaning just a bit as she pointed at him to add slyly, “Pretty too. So pretty. Prettier than me!”

He laughed loudly, catching her finger into his palm. “You’re pretty too, Yoona. And also very drunk at the moment.”

“But you must miss her when she’s not here, right?”

Donghae paused for a second to consider her question before nodding slowly, transfixed by the glimmer in her doe eyes.

Yoona had tipped her head up to catch his nod, her smile turning soft as she regarded him seriously even while tipsy. And after a long moment of being lost in her eyes, Donghae found himself dipper his head down to hers.

He was a hair breadth away when she pulls away to pout—unperturbed by what could have happened if she hadn’t moved to speak so suddenly. Donghae is left hanging, winded when her words penetrate his consciousness.

“I miss Changmin.”

He wishes then that he wasn’t so sober to feel… angry inside. But when Yoona goes and adds to her statement, still smiling that sweet, soft smile; eyes glazed and wistful, he can’t help but ask for another glass of alcohol.

“I wish Changmin was here.”

Donghae barely missed the familiar staccato rhythm of heels when he pulls himself out of his memory of the night before. A forced smile lining his lips as he moved to stand and greet a smiling Jessica as she arrived at their table, her hair long and shiny, her cheeks and lips rosy pink as they are (he knew) soft.

“Hey, honey! I thought you’d be in bed nursing a hangover by the way Eunhyuk went on about how crazy the party last night was when he dropped you off.” Jessica said loudly, tucking a curl of hair behind her ear. She reached over to squeeze his hand when grimaced at her overly chipper tone before moving a palm up to his cheek.

She looked him in the eye, caressing the light stubble on his skin before leaning over to kiss him softly.

“Did you have fun?” She asked, pulling away to look at the menu a waitress dropped off for them and Donghae felt even more awful to force another grin unto his lips.

Jessica is so beautiful and he loves her. But all Donghae saw when she kissed him was Yoona’s face and her soft, soft smile and his mind goes into overdrive.

—No, I didn’t have fun It was horrible because I think I still have feelings for Yoona I’m so sorry I’ve never wanted to hurt you but I want you both I made a mistake and it’s so wrong I love you but I love her too—

 His voice doesn’t crack, but it might as well should have.

“It was fine.”

[ Hi, this is Im Yoona’s phone. I’m not in right now… actually I’m probably still asleep or buried in exams. Either way I’m busy, so leave a message after the beep! ]

“Voice mail again!”

Hyoyeon threw herself onto the bed face done, tossing her phone away in the process. Eunhyuk was quick enough to grab it before it tipped off the bed and then sat down beside his girlfriend’s form, letting out a breath as he considered what to do or say next.

She hadn’t slept when they got back from the club and dropping Donghae off at his apartment just past three in the morning. She couldn’t stop fidgeting after Changmin had shown up out of blue and took Yoona with him but Eunhyuk knew the issue was less about her best friend’s pretend boyfriend’s sudden chivalrous rescue (he reminded himself that he would have to talk to Donghae about that later) and more about what said pretend boyfriend did to make such a rescue.

“It’s too early for you to freak out, Hyoyeon.” His tone was soft and placating but Eunhyuk knew his words were enough to make his girlfriend sit up immediately and huff at him. He held up his hands in defense and cut her off before she could yell at him, “There has to be some explanation to why Changmin did what he did and regardless if Yoona or anyone else knows about it or not, it’s really none of our business.”

Hyoyeon knew he had a point but she couldn’t help the irrational rush of anger coursing through her veins. She had twisted in their sheets all night, turning the past few months and last night’s events over and over in her head just to try to find some indication or clue that Changmin could have…

She let out a long huff, folding her arms across her chest as she thought back on the night before. Hyoyeon knew that it wasn’t exactly the most inspired idea for her to throw Yoona a birthday party at a club, but she reasoned that her best friend needed to lighten up her routine more and nothing lightened Yoona up as much as dancing and a good ice-cold glass of rum and coke. She had even managed to convince her to dress up in a lace top, a leather skirt and heels so high Hyoyeon was impressed that Yoona managed to keep her balance for most of the night.

But of course, nothing could ever go smooth-sailing when celebrating your 25th birthday party means having to consume copious amounts of alcohol under your ex-boyfriend’s looming presence while your current boyfriend is a no-show. Yoona told them when she arrived at the club last night that Changmin was running overtime with a construction project he was working part-time at and wouldn’t be able to make it. Her tone had been neutral then, but Hyoyeon could tell that her best friend was a little disappointed and so was the driving force of her immediately pushing a shot into Yoona’s hands.

It was fine for the first hour or two: Yoona was laughing and dancing with her and Eunhyuk, having the time of her life since forever. She hadn’t even minded Donghae’s attendance