Here I am. In front of my oneechan apartment. I am still breathing heavily. Yeah. That oneechan make me crazy over her.  I tried to enter the password on the apartment’s door. My heart beat really fast as I waited the result of my doing. When I hear ‘click’ voice I sigh a relief. Now after the door open, I should face oneechan. There’s so much question I want her to answer. Who is she? Why did she lied about her identity? Why did she lied to me? And about saving me, why did she come?

But all of those questions disappear in instant when I see oneechan lying on the floor.

“Oneechan!” I rush toward her. Putting her head in my lap. I’m about to ---- her hair, but suddenly, with unexpectable speed, she grab my wrist. Her eyes slightly open. after noticing that it’s just me she let go of her grip.

I lift her up and bring her to her bed. I look at her. My chest tightens. Her condition is really bad. Her clothes are wet. Blood is oozing trough her shoulder. And there’s so many wound in her body. I’m in difficulty opening the flip of my phone. My hands are shaking of panicky. ‘I should call ambulance’. But once again oneechan grabbed my wrist.

“I’m trying to call ambulance,” I’m still trying to stabilize my hands. But she shakes her head weakly.

“But…, oneechan…, you…,”

“Please…,” her voice is vsery low.

I look at oneechan eyes. she’s serious about this.

“Okay,”I resignedly grant her wish.

I take an aid kit. And tried to treat her as I could. I see a deep stab wound when I take of oneechan’s jacket. Then I pour alcohol to prevent it from infection. I look oneechan who’s biting her lower lip. I hurrying up cleaning her wound and bandage it so that oneechan feel less pain.  After that I went to get wet towel to clean oneechan dirty face. I carefully wipe oneechan forehead, down to her soft cheek and her bloody corner of lip. After that I look at oneechan again and I remember that oneechan wearing wet clothes.

“You should change your clothes. I will call someone(girl) to change your clothes,” I just about to leave when once again oneechan grab my hand weakly.

“Please, don’t let anyone tangled with me,” her voice sound like a whisper but it’s enough for me to understand.

I sighed founding myself grant her longing again. Oneechan smiled slightly when she received a nod from me.

I went to her wardrobe and get pajamas for her change of clothes. Then I walk toward her bed. I blushed hard when I realize what I am going to do. ‘BAKA! That’s not the time to think about it!’.

I sit beside her. I lift her limp body so I can take off her wet clothes.

“Arigato,” said oneechan in my ears, “and sorry…,”

“What are you talking about?” I continue to change her clothes. “if one should say sorry, it should be me,” I carefully put her back. “you do that in order not to hurt me right?”

Oneechan look at me with guilty expression printed on her eyes.

“Don’t worry. Now you should rest okay?” I finished change her clothes, then I put her blanket on.

She looks better now, after I treated her. Why did she have that wound? And she looks like she’s been in a fight. Did she bump in to some civilian? Ah, I will ask her later. I clean up everything and return to oneechan’s side again,

“Oneechan,” I called her. But no respond. ‘yokatta, she’s asleep now’

I sit beside her and reach for her hand. I hold it lightly. I love you. I don’t care who you are. I wont demand any answer from you anymore. Just please get well oneechan.

…

A breaking sound of vas wakes me up. I look at oneechan bed. She’s not here.

“Oneechan?” I walked out that bedroom. I gasped as I see oneechan strangled by a man.

“Onee..!” that word couldn’t escape my mouth.

After being aware of  my presence,  she took a knife that she hide in the drawer beside her. Then she cut that man throat. Blood was sprouting to oneechan hand, the floor, it sprouted everywhere like  rain. It’s just second till he collapse and maybe death?

I froze in my position. Couldn’t move an inch. Looking at oneechan who looked at that corpse. Her breath was so fast. Then she look at me.

“I’m sorry, letting you see this scene,” she walked toward me. Her voice makes me back to my sense.

I’m scared. Seeing things like in the action movie. And more over oneechan. All of this things make me confused. And that makes me more scared.

 “What’s that! You…you just kill a man!” I could feel my voice tremble.

“I’m sorry,”

“What are you sorry ab..,” I couldn’t finished my word. Oneechan pressed her lips on mine. Kissed me gently. I felt tears falling down her cheeks. I couldn’t help but kissed her back. Her kiss was soothing enough to eliminate the fear in my mind. Soothing enough for me to ignore stingy feeling I felt on my back.

She broke the kiss, then she looked at me in the eyes. now I could see her expression clearly. She’s crying. There’s a trace of tears in her cheeks, and it still continue flowing. This is for the first time I see her crying.

“I’m sorry,”  she caresses my cheeks with her bloody hand. Just then, I feel like losing my consciousness.

“I’m sorry,” she took the course of stingy feeling on my back. It’s a hypodermic needle. I collapse to the ground as I saw that needle. I really am losing my consciousness. she kneeled down to my level.  

“Ryosuke, I begged you. Please, forget what you saw,” she hold my body, “Please, I want you remember me as the clumsy insensitive and undependable oneechan, ne?” she put me down carefully.

I don’t have strength to even move my finger. I feel my head so heavy. But I still can hear oneechan calling someone. I couldn’t catch anything but mumble of their conversation. Then I saw her leaving. I saw oneechan figure fading away as I lost consciousness.

…

I gasped as I opened my eyes.  Ah, it’s oneechan room. I rush to the living room as I recall what happened before.  ‘It’s gone’.  The body and the blood. Everything’s normal. ‘What was that I saw? Was that my  dream?’

My speculation disturbed by the vibrate of my phone. I quickly answer that phone.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING! IT PASSED TWO DAYS! YOU SHOULD COME TO WORK!” I estrange the phone from my ear. That manager of mine, how could he shout at his precious artist?

“I’m sorry ne~?” I walked out that living room. I almost jumped when I see my reflection on the mirror.

“You say SORRY? Don’t you know you just screw everything. and I should be I charge and bow countless time, because of your action. And….”

“It’s not a dream,” I murmured as I see a blood stain on my cheek in my reflection.

…

It’s been a month since that accident. And HELL yeah I’m very curious + anxious about what happened. About oneechan. That was the last time I saw her. That’s right she’s make my feeling mixed up in certain ways. she lied about her identity. She make me heartbroken with her action. And she freak me out with that ‘cutting mans throat’ thing. But, every time I see her face, or every time she touches me, (Touch? Am I ert? Mou whatever) I would just forget everything. I will gladly forgive her.

“You don’t look ok,” it’s Daiki. With his bright smile.

 I just glare at him. ‘Oh would you look good after seeing someone you love slash a throat of a very healthy man. That was depressing’

“Have you contact her?” he sat next to me.

“I can’t reach her,”

“Her campus?”

“I asked Kei-chan, demo…, he said that she’s not coming to the campus anymore,”

“Her apartment?”

I don’t know for how many times, but I shook my head again, “The landlord said that she had moved. When I asked if I could enter her apartment he gave me the key. But her apartment was empty. I think it’s the time to stop now,”

“But, you still going there right?” Daiki tilted her head to face me.

“Eh?”

“That café,”

I nodded.

“You expect her to come right?”

I looked away. I’m sure he knew the answer already. ‘yes, I’m waiting for her, I expect her to come. If by any chance she miss her favorite coffee, and she’ll come to that café. And,  we’ll accidently met.’

There was a silence. But it’s better than answering question about oneechan. Then, that soothing silence was broke by noisy manager of mine. He rush in like he’s been chased by ghost.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” he shouted at me.

“What are you talking about?”

“There’s a police looking for you,” he pulled me up and drag me to a room where the police is.

“Sorry for disturbing your time, Yamada-san,” said the police as he sees me.

“Can I help you sir?”

“You surely know Mai Kuronuma,”

“Eh,”

“Maybe you know her as Hana Mizukawa,”

“Yes, is there a problem with oneechan?”

“She’s dead,”

Something must got in my ears, I thing I heard wrong. “You must be wrong,”

That police than show me a photo. ‘it’s oneechan,’

“But..,”

“Your oneechan,” that police interrupted me, “She was a terrorist,”

‘What the hell are this police saying? He just talks nonsense,’

That police looked at me, maybe he realize unbelief expression printed on my face. He then put his hand on my shoulder.

“You must think I talk nonsense, but no, I’m not lying,” he paused for a moment, “it was 5 years ago, she came to us. She exclaimed that she is a part of terrorist and she willing to be spy for us. Of course at first we don’t believe her. But then she started to leak out the information of the terrorist. That time we make a deal if she continue this act and helped to catch the real mastermind, she’ll be free. And a month ago she did it. She manage to get a prove about the mastermind. But it’s not as easy as we though. The organization realized that Mai betrayed them. That’s why they tried to dispose her. In the end she succeeded to send the prove to us.  But she hurt badly because of their attack. We couldn’t save her,” that police looked down.

“That story just like in the movie,” still I don’t want believe it.

That police frowned then he shook my body. “Are you still don’t admit it?”

I looked away.

“Is this not enough for you to believe?” that police grip my jaw and force me to face him. He then took of a strawberry pendant stained with blood. ‘it’s my present for oneechan,’. “She’s dead!”

Once again I turned my head. Tears are staring to form in the corner of my eyes. “Why do you even bother to tell me this?” I tried my best so that my voice sounds stable.

The police frowned. He looked at me in disbelief. “Because I know, she doesn’t want the one she love to wait for nothing,” he shove my body. Then he take a crumpled blue envelope and put it on the table beside me. “she write this before you had a fight,” he looked at me once again before he leave.

….

I run my self like crazy. Went trough the familiar street I often walked with oneechan. The content of the blue envelope keep echoing in my head.

1^st May,

Ryosuke, do you remember in the past when I went to strawberry farm with my friend? You are annoyed and whining to go there right?

I panted but, I accelerate my run. I can see that familiar building in front of my eyes.

Now, as a birthday present, I will take you there ne~?  it’s my treat. I still have something to settled down. But I think I can finish it by the end of this week. So deflate your schedule on 9 may okey?

Your oneechan

Hana Mizukawa.

Finally, I arrived in front of this familiar door I usually passed with oneechan. I forcefully open that door and rushed inside. To the now  empty apartment. It’s like a movie, my memories with oneechan started to flashed one by one. I collapse on the cold floor. I hug my knee while my hand clutch that crumpled blue envelope. This memorable place. The scent of vanilla hasn’t gone. My tears are flowing like rain. Like the rain that now starting to pouring it’s water to this plain ground. I myself in this plain room, crying for the one I love.

_______________

How is it? my second fnfic finished first.

sorry for randomness and all

I know it's kinda not satisfying in the end,

but please enjoy and comment are required.